Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So may parents relinquish their boys to the internet and video games from a young age—“that’s just how they socialize!”—and then can’t understand why they end up complete duds by their late teens.

My college boys play video games and are doing fine. Let's focus on the real issues.

It is a real issue. One of the biggest, in my opinion. Attention spans are way down, radical ideology, magical thinking, and/or complete apathy seem to be way up.

And give me a break on the “feminization of education.” I have seen so many things dumbed down and gamified just to try to keep the screen-addled boys engaged.

+100

We seriously limited (and still do for our junior) screen time. We try to keep him from wasting hours on youtube/social media. Phone plugged in kitchen when he gets home. At night--all devices are kept plugged in downstairs. He no longer has any desire to play video games. He was big on Xbox in MS, early HS. Now he never plays---home homework and then 2 hours of sports practice. The change in mood is really noticeable then when he had a lot more phone time. It's a hassle, but building good habits BEFORE they go to college is essential. I have a Freshmen--other than FiFa tournaments--he really didn't play video games either.

SLEEP. Sleep is essential in these teen years. We still did not let them stay up all hours of the night--holidays or summers too.

My oldest is very social in college. Very well-balanced, healthy--plays club sport, tons of friends and doing great in school first semester. He has a roommate a lot like him--that thankfully did not bring a gaming system and cares about health (goes to gym regularly too), and they keep relatively normal schedule. It is an Ivy so you can't be there and not be motivated in school.

I think this is key: DS at Duke is very similar to yours. There is not a lot of gaming and they are serious and motivated students. His HS closest pal went to Penn and describes similar--club sport, still plays his instrument, goes out with a co-ed group of friends just like my Dukie. These schools are competitive but not in a cutthroat way, more like motivation for each other to achieve. That was not too common among males in their public HS, the culture of male academic drive simply was not there

My sons were at an all-male private and it did have the culture of male academic drive.

Not many of those around anymore. It’s interesting there are still several prominent all women’s colleges. In fact I think there are 30 all women colleges to 4 all men.

Correction, 26 all women colleges to 3 all men.

Of the 26 all women colleges, 7 are in the top 50 for LACs. Of the 3 all men, 0 are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So may parents relinquish their boys to the internet and video games from a young age—“that’s just how they socialize!”—and then can’t understand why they end up complete duds by their late teens.

My college boys play video games and are doing fine. Let's focus on the real issues.

It is a real issue. One of the biggest, in my opinion. Attention spans are way down, radical ideology, magical thinking, and/or complete apathy seem to be way up.

And give me a break on the “feminization of education.” I have seen so many things dumbed down and gamified just to try to keep the screen-addled boys engaged.

+100

We seriously limited (and still do for our junior) screen time. We try to keep him from wasting hours on youtube/social media. Phone plugged in kitchen when he gets home. At night--all devices are kept plugged in downstairs. He no longer has any desire to play video games. He was big on Xbox in MS, early HS. Now he never plays---home homework and then 2 hours of sports practice. The change in mood is really noticeable then when he had a lot more phone time. It's a hassle, but building good habits BEFORE they go to college is essential. I have a Freshmen--other than FiFa tournaments--he really didn't play video games either.

SLEEP. Sleep is essential in these teen years. We still did not let them stay up all hours of the night--holidays or summers too.

My oldest is very social in college. Very well-balanced, healthy--plays club sport, tons of friends and doing great in school first semester. He has a roommate a lot like him--that thankfully did not bring a gaming system and cares about health (goes to gym regularly too), and they keep relatively normal schedule. It is an Ivy so you can't be there and not be motivated in school.

I think this is key: DS at Duke is very similar to yours. There is not a lot of gaming and they are serious and motivated students. His HS closest pal went to Penn and describes similar--club sport, still plays his instrument, goes out with a co-ed group of friends just like my Dukie. These schools are competitive but not in a cutthroat way, more like motivation for each other to achieve. That was not too common among males in their public HS, the culture of male academic drive simply was not there

Guys are playing games at all of these schools. It doesn't mean they aren't also doing sports opr theater and taking academics seriously. I think it is lazy to focus on something external to school to try to explain why boys are not being supported in the classrooms.

My Pitt tour last week they had tampons in the mens room. Nuff said

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So may parents relinquish their boys to the internet and video games from a young age—“that’s just how they socialize!”—and then can’t understand why they end up complete duds by their late teens.

My college boys play video games and are doing fine. Let's focus on the real issues.

It is a real issue. One of the biggest, in my opinion. Attention spans are way down, radical ideology, magical thinking, and/or complete apathy seem to be way up.

And give me a break on the “feminization of education.” I have seen so many things dumbed down and gamified just to try to keep the screen-addled boys engaged.

+100

We seriously limited (and still do for our junior) screen time. We try to keep him from wasting hours on youtube/social media. Phone plugged in kitchen when he gets home. At night--all devices are kept plugged in downstairs. He no longer has any desire to play video games. He was big on Xbox in MS, early HS. Now he never plays---home homework and then 2 hours of sports practice. The change in mood is really noticeable then when he had a lot more phone time. It's a hassle, but building good habits BEFORE they go to college is essential. I have a Freshmen--other than FiFa tournaments--he really didn't play video games either.

SLEEP. Sleep is essential in these teen years. We still did not let them stay up all hours of the night--holidays or summers too.

My oldest is very social in college. Very well-balanced, healthy--plays club sport, tons of friends and doing great in school first semester. He has a roommate a lot like him--that thankfully did not bring a gaming system and cares about health (goes to gym regularly too), and they keep relatively normal schedule. It is an Ivy so you can't be there and not be motivated in school.

I think this is key: DS at Duke is very similar to yours. There is not a lot of gaming and they are serious and motivated students. His HS closest pal went to Penn and describes similar--club sport, still plays his instrument, goes out with a co-ed group of friends just like my Dukie. These schools are competitive but not in a cutthroat way, more like motivation for each other to achieve. That was not too common among males in their public HS, the culture of male academic drive simply was not there

My sons were at an all-male private and it did have the culture of male academic drive.

Not many of those around anymore. It’s interesting there are still several prominent all women’s colleges. In fact I think there are 30 all women colleges to 4 all men.

Correction, 26 all women colleges to 3 all men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So may parents relinquish their boys to the internet and video games from a young age—“that’s just how they socialize!”—and then can’t understand why they end up complete duds by their late teens.

My college boys play video games and are doing fine. Let's focus on the real issues.

It is a real issue. One of the biggest, in my opinion. Attention spans are way down, radical ideology, magical thinking, and/or complete apathy seem to be way up.

And give me a break on the “feminization of education.” I have seen so many things dumbed down and gamified just to try to keep the screen-addled boys engaged.

+100

We seriously limited (and still do for our junior) screen time. We try to keep him from wasting hours on youtube/social media. Phone plugged in kitchen when he gets home. At night--all devices are kept plugged in downstairs. He no longer has any desire to play video games. He was big on Xbox in MS, early HS. Now he never plays---home homework and then 2 hours of sports practice. The change in mood is really noticeable then when he had a lot more phone time. It's a hassle, but building good habits BEFORE they go to college is essential. I have a Freshmen--other than FiFa tournaments--he really didn't play video games either.

SLEEP. Sleep is essential in these teen years. We still did not let them stay up all hours of the night--holidays or summers too.

My oldest is very social in college. Very well-balanced, healthy--plays club sport, tons of friends and doing great in school first semester. He has a roommate a lot like him--that thankfully did not bring a gaming system and cares about health (goes to gym regularly too), and they keep relatively normal schedule. It is an Ivy so you can't be there and not be motivated in school.

I think this is key: DS at Duke is very similar to yours. There is not a lot of gaming and they are serious and motivated students. His HS closest pal went to Penn and describes similar--club sport, still plays his instrument, goes out with a co-ed group of friends just like my Dukie. These schools are competitive but not in a cutthroat way, more like motivation for each other to achieve. That was not too common among males in their public HS, the culture of male academic drive simply was not there

My sons were at an all-male private and it did have the culture of male academic drive.

Not many of those around anymore. It’s interesting there are still several prominent all women’s colleges. In fact I think there are 30 all women colleges to 4 all men.

Anonymous wrote:There’s been at least the perception of anti-male bias from academia for years. Allegedly stereotypical male (but legal) behavior was openly labeled “toxic.” That’s not a subtle adjective, and not one acceptably used to describe common behaviors of women. Maybe it shouldn’t be a total surprise some young men felt unwelcome.

https://bigthink.com/the-present/toxic-masculinity-myth/

The majority of tenured or tenure-track professors are men. The majority of university presidents are men. That the concept of toxic masculinity—both the lazy overlabeling and the dismissive downplaying—has become so pervasive in our culture is largely due to the digital echo chambers that our young people find themselves in—brought to you by media empires run by and making billions of dollars for mostly men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So may parents relinquish their boys to the internet and video games from a young age—“that’s just how they socialize!”—and then can’t understand why they end up complete duds by their late teens.

My college boys play video games and are doing fine. Let's focus on the real issues.

It is a real issue. One of the biggest, in my opinion. Attention spans are way down, radical ideology, magical thinking, and/or complete apathy seem to be way up.

And give me a break on the “feminization of education.” I have seen so many things dumbed down and gamified just to try to keep the screen-addled boys engaged.

+100

We seriously limited (and still do for our junior) screen time. We try to keep him from wasting hours on youtube/social media. Phone plugged in kitchen when he gets home. At night--all devices are kept plugged in downstairs. He no longer has any desire to play video games. He was big on Xbox in MS, early HS. Now he never plays---home homework and then 2 hours of sports practice. The change in mood is really noticeable then when he had a lot more phone time. It's a hassle, but building good habits BEFORE they go to college is essential. I have a Freshmen--other than FiFa tournaments--he really didn't play video games either.

SLEEP. Sleep is essential in these teen years. We still did not let them stay up all hours of the night--holidays or summers too.

My oldest is very social in college. Very well-balanced, healthy--plays club sport, tons of friends and doing great in school first semester. He has a roommate a lot like him--that thankfully did not bring a gaming system and cares about health (goes to gym regularly too), and they keep relatively normal schedule. It is an Ivy so you can't be there and not be motivated in school.

I think this is key: DS at Duke is very similar to yours. There is not a lot of gaming and they are serious and motivated students. His HS closest pal went to Penn and describes similar--club sport, still plays his instrument, goes out with a co-ed group of friends just like my Dukie. These schools are competitive but not in a cutthroat way, more like motivation for each other to achieve. That was not too common among males in their public HS, the culture of male academic drive simply was not there

My sons were at an all-male private and it did have the culture of male academic drive.

Anonymous wrote:Based on our tours, it seems Asian ans SE Asian males are attending college. White, black and Latino males seem to be missing in large numbers.

The gender gap is seen across all races, though a bit less for Asians.

https://aibm.org/research/male-college-enrollment-and-completion/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So may parents relinquish their boys to the internet and video games from a young age—“that’s just how they socialize!”—and then can’t understand why they end up complete duds by their late teens.

My college boys play video games and are doing fine. Let's focus on the real issues.

It is a real issue. One of the biggest, in my opinion. Attention spans are way down, radical ideology, magical thinking, and/or complete apathy seem to be way up.

And give me a break on the “feminization of education.” I have seen so many things dumbed down and gamified just to try to keep the screen-addled boys engaged.

+100

We seriously limited (and still do for our junior) screen time. We try to keep him from wasting hours on youtube/social media. Phone plugged in kitchen when he gets home. At night--all devices are kept plugged in downstairs. He no longer has any desire to play video games. He was big on Xbox in MS, early HS. Now he never plays---home homework and then 2 hours of sports practice. The change in mood is really noticeable then when he had a lot more phone time. It's a hassle, but building good habits BEFORE they go to college is essential. I have a Freshmen--other than FiFa tournaments--he really didn't play video games either.

SLEEP. Sleep is essential in these teen years. We still did not let them stay up all hours of the night--holidays or summers too.

My oldest is very social in college. Very well-balanced, healthy--plays club sport, tons of friends and doing great in school first semester. He has a roommate a lot like him--that thankfully did not bring a gaming system and cares about health (goes to gym regularly too), and they keep relatively normal schedule. It is an Ivy so you can't be there and not be motivated in school.

I think this is key: DS at Duke is very similar to yours. There is not a lot of gaming and they are serious and motivated students. His HS closest pal went to Penn and describes similar--club sport, still plays his instrument, goes out with a co-ed group of friends just like my Dukie. These schools are competitive but not in a cutthroat way, more like motivation for each other to achieve. That was not too common among males in their public HS, the culture of male academic drive simply was not there

There’s been at least the perception of anti-male bias from academia for years. Allegedly stereotypical male (but legal) behavior was openly labeled “toxic.” That’s not a subtle adjective, and not one acceptably used to describe common behaviors of women. Maybe it shouldn’t be a total surprise some young men felt unwelcome.

https://bigthink.com/the-present/toxic-masculinity-myth/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The expectation for kids to be perfect (all As, ECs curated, super scheduled days) beginning in 9th grade does not match where most boys are developmentally at age 14. Girls are ahead here. So they start off behind and it is hard to catch up.

this is a very real factor. teacher of Gifted&Talented...the intelligence is the same, the organizational skills of females are 1.5-2 yrs ahead. Males are not as supported in our educational system. In GT with smaller groupings we can do a lot of creative out of box thinking and cater to both types of minds. Colleagues in private schools report the same. All-male schools often have a lot of success with boys. Most public schools cannot individualize this. I am a female teacher. Most of my colleagues are. Many of us have raised sons and daughters in addition to teaching them; Boys need more support. Giving Boys more support does not mean giving girls less: keep the women in stem and all the important stuff added over the years to help girls; add support specifically for the ways boys learn, and ways to encourage college and make it an obvious attainable choice.

+100 we did it for HS after k-8 in public. My sons were thriving k-8--but could see glaring differences in the way the courses were directed---reading that was more aligned with female interests, etc. In HS, classics going by the way-side. Best $ ever spent. They were also strict on behavior in a way that publics can't be anymore w/out raising ire and complaints so that the school was a relaxed, courteous and non-threatening place to learn--non of this mob attacks and fights in the hallways like our local public in a wealthy area.

We found that the boys were able to express poetry, share thoughts and be more open when in a single gender environment in HS. It wasn't acting a certain way to garner female attention or bravado. They really supported one another in a wholesome way. Pretty much the opposite of the stereotype some people fear about all-male schools---they aren't misogynistic factories--quite the opposite.

100% . we need to be able to admit that males and females on average learn differently and a subset of them benefit from single sex environments.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So may parents relinquish their boys to the internet and video games from a young age—“that’s just how they socialize!”—and then can’t understand why they end up complete duds by their late teens.

My college boys play video games and are doing fine. Let's focus on the real issues.

It is a real issue. One of the biggest, in my opinion. Attention spans are way down, radical ideology, magical thinking, and/or complete apathy seem to be way up.

And give me a break on the “feminization of education.” I have seen so many things dumbed down and gamified just to try to keep the screen-addled boys engaged.

+100

We seriously limited (and still do for our junior) screen time. We try to keep him from wasting hours on youtube/social media. Phone plugged in kitchen when he gets home. At night--all devices are kept plugged in downstairs. He no longer has any desire to play video games. He was big on Xbox in MS, early HS. Now he never plays---home homework and then 2 hours of sports practice. The change in mood is really noticeable then when he had a lot more phone time. It's a hassle, but building good habits BEFORE they go to college is essential. I have a Freshmen--other than FiFa tournaments--he really didn't play video games either.

SLEEP. Sleep is essential in these teen years. We still did not let them stay up all hours of the night--holidays or summers too.

My oldest is very social in college. Very well-balanced, healthy--plays club sport, tons of friends and doing great in school first semester. He has a roommate a lot like him--that thankfully did not bring a gaming system and cares about health (goes to gym regularly too), and they keep relatively normal schedule. It is an Ivy so you can't be there and not be motivated in school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So may parents relinquish their boys to the internet and video games from a young age—“that’s just how they socialize!”—and then can’t understand why they end up complete duds by their late teens.

My college boys play video games and are doing fine. Let's focus on the real issues.

It is a real issue. One of the biggest, in my opinion. Attention spans are way down, radical ideology, magical thinking, and/or complete apathy seem to be way up.

And give me a break on the “feminization of education.” I have seen so many things dumbed down and gamified just to try to keep the screen-addled boys engaged.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The expectation for kids to be perfect (all As, ECs curated, super scheduled days) beginning in 9th grade does not match where most boys are developmentally at age 14. Girls are ahead here. So they start off behind and it is hard to catch up.

this is a very real factor. teacher of Gifted&Talented...the intelligence is the same, the organizational skills of females are 1.5-2 yrs ahead. Males are not as supported in our educational system. In GT with smaller groupings we can do a lot of creative out of box thinking and cater to both types of minds. Colleagues in private schools report the same. All-male schools often have a lot of success with boys. Most public schools cannot individualize this. I am a female teacher. Most of my colleagues are. Many of us have raised sons and daughters in addition to teaching them; Boys need more support. Giving Boys more support does not mean giving girls less: keep the women in stem and all the important stuff added over the years to help girls; add support specifically for the ways boys learn, and ways to encourage college and make it an obvious attainable choice.

+100 we did it for HS after k-8 in public. My sons were thriving k-8--but could see glaring differences in the way the courses were directed---reading that was more aligned with female interests, etc. In HS, classics going by the way-side. Best $ ever spent. They were also strict on behavior in a way that publics can't be anymore w/out raising ire and complaints so that the school was a relaxed, courteous and non-threatening place to learn--non of this mob attacks and fights in the hallways like our local public in a wealthy area.

We found that the boys were able to express poetry, share thoughts and be more open when in a single gender environment in HS. It wasn't acting a certain way to garner female attention or bravado. They really supported one another in a wholesome way. Pretty much the opposite of the stereotype some people fear about all-male schools---they aren't misogynistic factories--quite the opposite.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The expectation for kids to be perfect (all As, ECs curated, super scheduled days) beginning in 9th grade does not match where most boys are developmentally at age 14. Girls are ahead here. So they start off behind and it is hard to catch up.

this is a very real factor. teacher of Gifted&Talented...the intelligence is the same, the organizational skills of females are 1.5-2 yrs ahead. Males are not as supported in our educational system. In GT with smaller groupings we can do a lot of creative out of box thinking and cater to both types of minds. Colleagues in private schools report the same. All-male schools often have a lot of success with boys. Most public schools cannot individualize this. I am a female teacher. Most of my colleagues are. Many of us have raised sons and daughters in addition to teaching them; Boys need more support. Giving Boys more support does not mean giving girls less: keep the women in stem and all the important stuff added over the years to help girls; add support specifically for the ways boys learn, and ways to encourage college and make it an obvious attainable choice.

+100 we did it for HS after k-8 in public. My sons were thriving k-8--but could see glaring differences in the way the courses were directed---reading that was more aligned with female interests, etc. In HS, classics going by the way-side. Best $ ever spent. They were also strict on behavior in a way that publics can't be anymore w/out raising ire and complaints so that the school was a relaxed, courteous and non-threatening place to learn--non of this mob attacks and fights in the hallways like our local public in a wealthy area.