I am a single mom. I am the only parent in my household, because I am divorced. So I'm single.

I share custody with the kids' dad. He's a single dad, because he is the only parent in his household and he is divorced.

We are both our kids parents 100% of the time. The kids don't disappear into a black hole when they are with the other parent.

I’ve never heard someone say they were raised by a single mom and a single dad. I say my parents are divorced.

I always took it to mean dad is out of picture.

I’d be rolling my eyes along with you, OP, but I’d also just feel kind of bad for someone bending the truth to try and score pity points on social media in this way

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who says this with similar setup and I definitely notice. I agree the correct term would be you are coparenting.

I think your friend is simply trying to garner sympathy by using this term.

Because a true single Mother oftentimes gets zero if any breaks from her kids.

I would be so annoyed by your friend!

Someone posted this same question several years ago, and the responses were totally different from this time. Back then, responses unanimously agreed that you’re only a single parent if the other parent is mostly out of the picture - time wise and financially.

Funny how the tides of dcum can change so quickly if people don’t like the phrasing or whatever of the OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re not a single parent if there is another parent actively involved in raising the kids. Regardless of your romantic status.

Lol. “Actively involved in raising the kids.” Lol

+1 lololol

I'm loving the people that assume that divorce = getting along perfectly with your ex, while being married means you can't get your ex to do anything to coparent at all.

Getting along with your ex has nothing to do with whether or not your ex has the kids 50% of the time. If ex has the kids 50% of the time s/he is actively raising them.

This isn’t hard to understand. Not shocked you nincompoops are divorced.

Lol

Garbage in, garbage out

That you don’t like it doesn’t make it not true.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re not a single parent if there is another parent actively involved in raising the kids. Regardless of your romantic status.

Lol. “Actively involved in raising the kids.” Lol

That’s going to be open to a lot of interpretation.

If you’re splitting custody with your ex, you’re not a single parent.

If you have primary custody but your ex pays substantially more than half of the kids’ expenses, you’re also not a single parents.

It might be a big shocker to you but often times shared custody is not reality. It’s just legally on paper, but that’s not how it is.

So then you don’t have shared custody, dimwit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re not a single parent if there is another parent actively involved in raising the kids. Regardless of your romantic status.

Lol. “Actively involved in raising the kids.” Lol

+1 lololol

I'm loving the people that assume that divorce = getting along perfectly with your ex, while being married means you can't get your ex to do anything to coparent at all.

Getting along with your ex has nothing to do with whether or not your ex has the kids 50% of the time. If ex has the kids 50% of the time s/he is actively raising them.

This isn’t hard to understand. Not shocked you nincompoops are divorced.

Lol

Garbage in, garbage out

You’re a parent if you actually parent. It’s a 24/7 job.

Just breeding a kid does not make you a parent. Just existing in a house with your kid doesn’t make you a parent either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re not a single parent if there is another parent actively involved in raising the kids. Regardless of your romantic status.

Lol. “Actively involved in raising the kids.” Lol

That’s going to be open to a lot of interpretation.

If you’re splitting custody with your ex, you’re not a single parent.

If you have primary custody but your ex pays substantially more than half of the kids’ expenses, you’re also not a single parents.

It might be a big shocker to you but often times shared custody is not reality. It’s just legally on paper, but that’s not how it is.

Anonymous wrote:So many married moms have delusional romantic visions of what it's like to be a single mom. Misplaced envy.

For all you married moms who need a break - take one, don't be a martyr. Pay for a babysitter for one. But don't crap on single moms who likely face challenges you have no idea about.

+100

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re not a single parent if there is another parent actively involved in raising the kids. Regardless of your romantic status.

Lol. “Actively involved in raising the kids.” Lol

+1 lololol

I'm loving the people that assume that divorce = getting along perfectly with your ex, while being married means you can't get your ex to do anything to coparent at all.

Getting along with your ex has nothing to do with whether or not your ex has the kids 50% of the time. If ex has the kids 50% of the time s/he is actively raising them.

This isn’t hard to understand. Not shocked you nincompoops are divorced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re not a single parent if there is another parent actively involved in raising the kids. Regardless of your romantic status.

Lol. “Actively involved in raising the kids.” Lol

That’s going to be open to a lot of interpretation.

If you’re splitting custody with your ex, you’re not a single parent.

If you have primary custody but your ex pays substantially more than half of the kids’ expenses, you’re also not a single parents.

- When you have a kid and your husband dies
- When you never married and had a kid and the father is no longer in the picture
- When you never married and had a kid and no one but you are paying the bills.
- When you are divorced and have primary custody.
- When you never married but had a kid through IVF, Surrogacy or Adoption.

OP, you would absolutely be mad at my set up if hers bothers you. My ex passed away, but we have 5 relatives nearby who take the kid for days and days.
There's another 10 grown-ups in a different state who fly in often just for the child. They also fly the kid to them. It's cultural for them I think.