Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

that’s perfectly fine

Then, give your husband this grace. He doesn't have to follow your rules. He can eat what he wants. You aren't the boss of him. And the flip-side if, you are not responsible for him or his decisions. Stop being a control freak. He can feed himself.

I think people are being too rough on OP. I agree that DH is an adult, but a diet like OP is describing will catch up to him eventually. Once he's out of uniform, he's very likely going to balloon in weight and he'll start to develop cardiovascular disease. Who will have to deal with the fallout of this? Who will have take care of him after a heart attack or stroke? His poor diet WILL impact her life and her child's life.

Then if SHE wants him to eat better, she should make food that tastes GOOD. She is refusing to meet him half way. He is totally fine going on as is, she's the one with the issue.

You’re just making stuff up now. I do want to cook better. You’re not being helpful, you’re just here to point fingers so just stay out of this.

The good news is that OP is not controlling at all.

Seriously, OP, you need help, and not just -- NOT PRIMARILY -- with cooking. I told you not to use the word "clean" and you accused me of being triggered, then proceeded to use "clean" more times than I would have thought possible. When you don't like what someone says, you assume they're wrong, decide you're the victim, and decide the best response is to respond aggressively.


There is no aspect of life in which this approach takes anyone anywhere good.

I mean, it's not terribly surprising that OP doubled down on the problematic "clean" term - and yes, in recent professional RD best practices - this is not a term to use - value judgements should not be ascribed nor used to describe food. Things like "cheat day" - "clean" is problematic not just because it's unclear but because it's defined by it's opposite -which is "dirty." Shame around food contributes to EDs and this is why current professional best practices advise avoiding these terms.

All that said - OP clearly likes histrionic, overwrought language - she chose to say her husband's diet "disgusts" her and said he's "addicted" to his bad food rather than choosing other less strong terms. So the fact that she doubled down on "clean" is unsurprising. I don't think anyone's getting through to her that it's her dramatic attitude that is the biggest problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

that’s perfectly fine

Then, give your husband this grace. He doesn't have to follow your rules. He can eat what he wants. You aren't the boss of him. And the flip-side if, you are not responsible for him or his decisions. Stop being a control freak. He can feed himself.

I think people are being too rough on OP. I agree that DH is an adult, but a diet like OP is describing will catch up to him eventually. Once he's out of uniform, he's very likely going to balloon in weight and he'll start to develop cardiovascular disease. Who will have to deal with the fallout of this? Who will have take care of him after a heart attack or stroke? His poor diet WILL impact her life and her child's life.

Then if SHE wants him to eat better, she should make food that tastes GOOD. She is refusing to meet him half way. He is totally fine going on as is, she's the one with the issue.

You’re just making stuff up now. I do want to cook better. You’re not being helpful, you’re just here to point fingers so just stay out of this.

The good news is that OP is not controlling at all.

Seriously, OP, you need help, and not just -- NOT PRIMARILY -- with cooking. I told you not to use the word "clean" and you accused me of being triggered, then proceeded to use "clean" more times than I would have thought possible. When you don't like what someone says, you assume they're wrong, decide you're the victim, and decide the best response is to respond aggressively.


There is no aspect of life in which this approach takes anyone anywhere good.

I mean, it's not terribly surprising that OP doubled down on the problematic "clean" term - and yes, in recent professional RD best practices - this is not a term to use - value judgements should not be ascribed nor used to describe food. Things like "cheat day" - "clean" is problematic not just because it's unclear but because it's defined by it's opposite -which is "dirty." Shame around food contributes to EDs and this is why current professional best practices advise avoiding these terms.

All that said - OP clearly likes histrionic, overwrought language - she chose to say her husband's diet "disgusts" her and said he's "addicted" to his bad food rather than choosing other less strong terms. So the fact that she doubled down on "clean" is unsurprising. I don't think anyone's getting through to her that it's her dramatic attitude that is the biggest problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

that’s perfectly fine

Then, give your husband this grace. He doesn't have to follow your rules. He can eat what he wants. You aren't the boss of him. And the flip-side if, you are not responsible for him or his decisions. Stop being a control freak. He can feed himself.

I think people are being too rough on OP. I agree that DH is an adult, but a diet like OP is describing will catch up to him eventually. Once he's out of uniform, he's very likely going to balloon in weight and he'll start to develop cardiovascular disease. Who will have to deal with the fallout of this? Who will have take care of him after a heart attack or stroke? His poor diet WILL impact her life and her child's life.

Then if SHE wants him to eat better, she should make food that tastes GOOD. She is refusing to meet him half way. He is totally fine going on as is, she's the one with the issue.

You’re just making stuff up now. I do want to cook better. You’re not being helpful, you’re just here to point fingers so just stay out of this.

The good news is that OP is not controlling at all.

Seriously, OP, you need help, and not just -- NOT PRIMARILY -- with cooking. I told you not to use the word "clean" and you accused me of being triggered, then proceeded to use "clean" more times than I would have thought possible. When you don't like what someone says, you assume they're wrong, decide you're the victim, and decide the best response is to respond aggressively.


There is no aspect of life in which this approach takes anyone anywhere good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I’m not a good cook but I’d rather eat something that is healthy for sustenance than something that is delicious but unhealthy."

Well that's your problem. You aren't a good cook, and would rather eat something that tastes like garbage than delicious. No wonder no one likes your food!

I think it would be unreasonable to expect someone to eat food that they a) hate and b) is acknowledged that isn't very tasty. If my DH was a terrible cook and insisted on making things I didn't like, I'd probably opt out as well. There is a huge amount of compromise available here. Can you guys pick out recipes and cook together? I like pps ideas of making similar things at home, like chipotle bowls or thai food. Maybe he can help make the meal plan. It doesn't sound like you're working, so it's falling on you, but there is no point in buying all this expensive protein and veggies if no one eats it, it goes to waste, and he ends up getting take out anyways.

The obvious solution here is to learn how to cook. Healthy food should taste delicious too.

I wouldn’t want to eat bland food “for sustenance” either. I cook very healthy but also with a lot of flavor, so everyone eats it happily. It isn’t hard.

She should definitely learn to cook but if his taste buds are acclimated to fast food he's not going to love what she makes. Of course that's his problem.
I made a great dinner last night of minestrone, homemade garlic bread and vegetable baked ziti and my husband says "This is good but I'd really like if this had sausage." Meh

Why can't the person with the problem learn how to cook?

Well OP is the one with the problem apparently, as she is dissatisfied with the way her husband eats. He isn’t on here complaining. He has solved his problem with her cooking by eating elsewhere.

op Just cook for you and your kid. Let your dh eat what he wants. And ignore all the meanines on here

OPs kid also doesnt want to eat her food

.

But she can at least focus on making healthy meals that the kid will eat since the husband won’t touch anything healthy

Did you even read the OP?

"I try to cook healthy foods for him ... but it gets rejected most of the time which is extremely frustrating"

Literally no one likes OPs food. OP doesnt even like it. She says straight up she'd rather have something "for sustenance" than delicious. She doesn't even bother to try and make it taste good.

OP here. You’re putting words in my mouth now. I admitted I’m not a good cook and need to work on my skills which is the most obvious solution to the problem at hand. I do like my food sometimes. Sometimes my food doesn’t come out right, which I’m sure happens with everyone, but I’ll still eat it for sustenance because I use high quality ingredients. I’d rather eat that than go get a pizza because my chicken came out dry, that’s what I meant.

Sometimes I think my food comes out good, but my husband still won’t eat it. And my 2 year old just doesn’t like much except chicken tendies which is probably not unusual. I’d like to become a better cook for my toddler but i want to cook healthy foods for him, which unfortunately my husband will not eat.

And ffs, stop talking about "clean" food. No one wants to eat when someone is moralizing about the menu.

Sorry you get triggered by the word clean, but I am not typing organic, grass fed, no seed oils, low processed, paleo, etc in place of “clean” just because you get triggered by it. My diet doesn’t have to be 100% clean but when I cook food at home I prefer to use clean ingredients as often as possible especially when I have to feed a 2 year old. Let me emphasize - as often as possible but it doesn’t have to be all the time.

Eating a clean diet is something that’s important to me and some other people with similar lifestyle choices, and if it’s not important to you, that’s perfectly fine but we’re not on the same page so your opinion is probably not valuable to me so you can stay out of this one if you’re just going to talk shit.

The point is that "clean" food doesnt exist, and considering you eat chipotle multiple times a week, it doesnt sound like it even applies to you. You are just clinging to this aspirational word to try and validate why your cooking sucks. Lots of people cook grass fed and organic food that tastes good.

Nope, I clearly stated I don’t need to eat “clean” all the time but if I’m cooking I prefer to use clean ingredients. I don’t see why you have to get caught up on the word. I admitted my cooking does suck and I want to improve so I don’t know what’s the point of your comment. Cooking with clean ingredients can taste good and I need to get better at it. It’s the processed foods my husband will miss. I’m fine with him eating the processed stuff but obviously it’s not healthy to do it every meal. I’m not trying to control what he eats but I am concerned about him healthy and what he eats influences what our toddler eats.

Please give us a list of these clean ingredients.

You are a moron

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

that’s perfectly fine

Then, give your husband this grace. He doesn't have to follow your rules. He can eat what he wants. You aren't the boss of him. And the flip-side if, you are not responsible for him or his decisions. Stop being a control freak. He can feed himself.

I think people are being too rough on OP. I agree that DH is an adult, but a diet like OP is describing will catch up to him eventually. Once he's out of uniform, he's very likely going to balloon in weight and he'll start to develop cardiovascular disease. Who will have to deal with the fallout of this? Who will have take care of him after a heart attack or stroke? His poor diet WILL impact her life and her child's life.

Then if SHE wants him to eat better, she should make food that tastes GOOD. She is refusing to meet him half way. He is totally fine going on as is, she's the one with the issue.

You’re just making stuff up now. I do want to cook better. You’re not being helpful, you’re just here to point fingers so just stay out of this.

The good news is that OP is not controlling at all.

Seriously, OP, you need help, and not just -- NOT PRIMARILY -- with cooking. I told you not to use the word "clean" and you accused me of being triggered, then proceeded to use "clean" more times than I would have thought possible. When you don't like what someone says, you assume they're wrong, decide you're the victim, and decide the best response is to respond aggressively.

There is no aspect of life in which this approach takes anyone anywhere good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

that’s perfectly fine

Then, give your husband this grace. He doesn't have to follow your rules. He can eat what he wants. You aren't the boss of him. And the flip-side if, you are not responsible for him or his decisions. Stop being a control freak. He can feed himself.

I think people are being too rough on OP. I agree that DH is an adult, but a diet like OP is describing will catch up to him eventually. Once he's out of uniform, he's very likely going to balloon in weight and he'll start to develop cardiovascular disease. Who will have to deal with the fallout of this? Who will have take care of him after a heart attack or stroke? His poor diet WILL impact her life and her child's life.

Then if SHE wants him to eat better, she should make food that tastes GOOD. She is refusing to meet him half way. He is totally fine going on as is, she's the one with the issue.

You’re just making stuff up now. I do want to cook better. You’re not being helpful, you’re just here to point fingers so just stay out of this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I’m not a good cook but I’d rather eat something that is healthy for sustenance than something that is delicious but unhealthy."

Well that's your problem. You aren't a good cook, and would rather eat something that tastes like garbage than delicious. No wonder no one likes your food!

I think it would be unreasonable to expect someone to eat food that they a) hate and b) is acknowledged that isn't very tasty. If my DH was a terrible cook and insisted on making things I didn't like, I'd probably opt out as well. There is a huge amount of compromise available here. Can you guys pick out recipes and cook together? I like pps ideas of making similar things at home, like chipotle bowls or thai food. Maybe he can help make the meal plan. It doesn't sound like you're working, so it's falling on you, but there is no point in buying all this expensive protein and veggies if no one eats it, it goes to waste, and he ends up getting take out anyways.

The obvious solution here is to learn how to cook. Healthy food should taste delicious too.

I wouldn’t want to eat bland food “for sustenance” either. I cook very healthy but also with a lot of flavor, so everyone eats it happily. It isn’t hard.

She should definitely learn to cook but if his taste buds are acclimated to fast food he's not going to love what she makes. Of course that's his problem.
I made a great dinner last night of minestrone, homemade garlic bread and vegetable baked ziti and my husband says "This is good but I'd really like if this had sausage." Meh

Why can't the person with the problem learn how to cook?

Well OP is the one with the problem apparently, as she is dissatisfied with the way her husband eats. He isn’t on here complaining. He has solved his problem with her cooking by eating elsewhere.

op Just cook for you and your kid. Let your dh eat what he wants. And ignore all the meanines on here

OPs kid also doesnt want to eat her food

.

But she can at least focus on making healthy meals that the kid will eat since the husband won’t touch anything healthy

Did you even read the OP?

"I try to cook healthy foods for him ... but it gets rejected most of the time which is extremely frustrating"

Literally no one likes OPs food. OP doesnt even like it. She says straight up she'd rather have something "for sustenance" than delicious. She doesn't even bother to try and make it taste good.

OP here. You’re putting words in my mouth now. I admitted I’m not a good cook and need to work on my skills which is the most obvious solution to the problem at hand. I do like my food sometimes. Sometimes my food doesn’t come out right, which I’m sure happens with everyone, but I’ll still eat it for sustenance because I use high quality ingredients. I’d rather eat that than go get a pizza because my chicken came out dry, that’s what I meant.

Sometimes I think my food comes out good, but my husband still won’t eat it. And my 2 year old just doesn’t like much except chicken tendies which is probably not unusual. I’d like to become a better cook for my toddler but i want to cook healthy foods for him, which unfortunately my husband will not eat.

And ffs, stop talking about "clean" food. No one wants to eat when someone is moralizing about the menu.

Sorry you get triggered by the word clean, but I am not typing organic, grass fed, no seed oils, low processed, paleo, etc in place of “clean” just because you get triggered by it. My diet doesn’t have to be 100% clean but when I cook food at home I prefer to use clean ingredients as often as possible especially when I have to feed a 2 year old. Let me emphasize - as often as possible but it doesn’t have to be all the time.

Eating a clean diet is something that’s important to me and some other people with similar lifestyle choices, and if it’s not important to you, that’s perfectly fine but we’re not on the same page so your opinion is probably not valuable to me so you can stay out of this one if you’re just going to talk shit.

The point is that "clean" food doesnt exist, and considering you eat chipotle multiple times a week, it doesnt sound like it even applies to you. You are just clinging to this aspirational word to try and validate why your cooking sucks. Lots of people cook grass fed and organic food that tastes good.

Nope, I clearly stated I don’t need to eat “clean” all the time but if I’m cooking I prefer to use clean ingredients. I don’t see why you have to get caught up on the word. I admitted my cooking does suck and I want to improve so I don’t know what’s the point of your comment. Cooking with clean ingredients can taste good and I need to get better at it. It’s the processed foods my husband will miss. I’m fine with him eating the processed stuff but obviously it’s not healthy to do it every meal. I’m not trying to control what he eats but I am concerned about him healthy and what he eats influences what our toddler eats.

Please give us a list of these clean ingredients.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I’m not a good cook but I’d rather eat something that is healthy for sustenance than something that is delicious but unhealthy."

Well that's your problem. You aren't a good cook, and would rather eat something that tastes like garbage than delicious. No wonder no one likes your food!

I think it would be unreasonable to expect someone to eat food that they a) hate and b) is acknowledged that isn't very tasty. If my DH was a terrible cook and insisted on making things I didn't like, I'd probably opt out as well. There is a huge amount of compromise available here. Can you guys pick out recipes and cook together? I like pps ideas of making similar things at home, like chipotle bowls or thai food. Maybe he can help make the meal plan. It doesn't sound like you're working, so it's falling on you, but there is no point in buying all this expensive protein and veggies if no one eats it, it goes to waste, and he ends up getting take out anyways.

The obvious solution here is to learn how to cook. Healthy food should taste delicious too.

I wouldn’t want to eat bland food “for sustenance” either. I cook very healthy but also with a lot of flavor, so everyone eats it happily. It isn’t hard.

She should definitely learn to cook but if his taste buds are acclimated to fast food he's not going to love what she makes. Of course that's his problem.
I made a great dinner last night of minestrone, homemade garlic bread and vegetable baked ziti and my husband says "This is good but I'd really like if this had sausage." Meh

Why can't the person with the problem learn how to cook?

Well OP is the one with the problem apparently, as she is dissatisfied with the way her husband eats. He isn’t on here complaining. He has solved his problem with her cooking by eating elsewhere.

op Just cook for you and your kid. Let your dh eat what he wants. And ignore all the meanines on here

OPs kid also doesnt want to eat her food

.

But she can at least focus on making healthy meals that the kid will eat since the husband won’t touch anything healthy

Did you even read the OP?

"I try to cook healthy foods for him ... but it gets rejected most of the time which is extremely frustrating"

Literally no one likes OPs food. OP doesnt even like it. She says straight up she'd rather have something "for sustenance" than delicious. She doesn't even bother to try and make it taste good.

OP here. You’re putting words in my mouth now. I admitted I’m not a good cook and need to work on my skills which is the most obvious solution to the problem at hand. I do like my food sometimes. Sometimes my food doesn’t come out right, which I’m sure happens with everyone, but I’ll still eat it for sustenance because I use high quality ingredients. I’d rather eat that than go get a pizza because my chicken came out dry, that’s what I meant.

Sometimes I think my food comes out good, but my husband still won’t eat it. And my 2 year old just doesn’t like much except chicken tendies which is probably not unusual. I’d like to become a better cook for my toddler but i want to cook healthy foods for him, which unfortunately my husband will not eat.

And ffs, stop talking about "clean" food. No one wants to eat when someone is moralizing about the menu.

Sorry you get triggered by the word clean, but I am not typing organic, grass fed, no seed oils, low processed, paleo, etc in place of “clean” just because you get triggered by it. My diet doesn’t have to be 100% clean but when I cook food at home I prefer to use clean ingredients as often as possible especially when I have to feed a 2 year old. Let me emphasize - as often as possible but it doesn’t have to be all the time.

Eating a clean diet is something that’s important to me and some other people with similar lifestyle choices, and if it’s not important to you, that’s perfectly fine but we’re not on the same page so your opinion is probably not valuable to me so you can stay out of this one if you’re just going to talk shit.

The point is that "clean" food doesnt exist, and considering you eat chipotle multiple times a week, it doesnt sound like it even applies to you. You are just clinging to this aspirational word to try and validate why your cooking sucks. Lots of people cook grass fed and organic food that tastes good.

Nope, I clearly stated I don’t need to eat “clean” all the time but if I’m cooking I prefer to use clean ingredients. I don’t see why you have to get caught up on the word. I admitted my cooking does suck and I want to improve so I don’t know what’s the point of your comment. Cooking with clean ingredients can taste good and I need to get better at it. It’s the processed foods my husband will miss. I’m fine with him eating the processed stuff but obviously it’s not healthy to do it every meal. I’m not trying to control what he eats but I am concerned about him healthy and what he eats influences what our toddler eats.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I’m not a good cook but I’d rather eat something that is healthy for sustenance than something that is delicious but unhealthy."

Well that's your problem. You aren't a good cook, and would rather eat something that tastes like garbage than delicious. No wonder no one likes your food!

I think it would be unreasonable to expect someone to eat food that they a) hate and b) is acknowledged that isn't very tasty. If my DH was a terrible cook and insisted on making things I didn't like, I'd probably opt out as well. There is a huge amount of compromise available here. Can you guys pick out recipes and cook together? I like pps ideas of making similar things at home, like chipotle bowls or thai food. Maybe he can help make the meal plan. It doesn't sound like you're working, so it's falling on you, but there is no point in buying all this expensive protein and veggies if no one eats it, it goes to waste, and he ends up getting take out anyways.

The obvious solution here is to learn how to cook. Healthy food should taste delicious too.

I wouldn’t want to eat bland food “for sustenance” either. I cook very healthy but also with a lot of flavor, so everyone eats it happily. It isn’t hard.

She should definitely learn to cook but if his taste buds are acclimated to fast food he's not going to love what she makes. Of course that's his problem.
I made a great dinner last night of minestrone, homemade garlic bread and vegetable baked ziti and my husband says "This is good but I'd really like if this had sausage." Meh

Why can't the person with the problem learn how to cook?

Well OP is the one with the problem apparently, as she is dissatisfied with the way her husband eats. He isn’t on here complaining. He has solved his problem with her cooking by eating elsewhere.

op Just cook for you and your kid. Let your dh eat what he wants. And ignore all the meanines on here

OPs kid also doesnt want to eat her food

.

But she can at least focus on making healthy meals that the kid will eat since the husband won’t touch anything healthy

Did you even read the OP?

"I try to cook healthy foods for him ... but it gets rejected most of the time which is extremely frustrating"

Literally no one likes OPs food. OP doesnt even like it. She says straight up she'd rather have something "for sustenance" than delicious. She doesn't even bother to try and make it taste good.

OP here. You’re putting words in my mouth now. I admitted I’m not a good cook and need to work on my skills which is the most obvious solution to the problem at hand. I do like my food sometimes. Sometimes my food doesn’t come out right, which I’m sure happens with everyone, but I’ll still eat it for sustenance because I use high quality ingredients. I’d rather eat that than go get a pizza because my chicken came out dry, that’s what I meant.

Sometimes I think my food comes out good, but my husband still won’t eat it. And my 2 year old just doesn’t like much except chicken tendies which is probably not unusual. I’d like to become a better cook for my toddler but i want to cook healthy foods for him, which unfortunately my husband will not eat.

And ffs, stop talking about "clean" food. No one wants to eat when someone is moralizing about the menu.

Sorry you get triggered by the word clean, but I am not typing organic, grass fed, no seed oils, low processed, paleo, etc in place of “clean” just because you get triggered by it. My diet doesn’t have to be 100% clean but when I cook food at home I prefer to use clean ingredients as often as possible especially when I have to feed a 2 year old. Let me emphasize - as often as possible but it doesn’t have to be all the time.

Eating a clean diet is something that’s important to me and some other people with similar lifestyle choices, and if it’s not important to you, that’s perfectly fine but we’re not on the same page so your opinion is probably not valuable to me so you can stay out of this one if you’re just going to talk shit.

The point is that "clean" food doesnt exist, and considering you eat chipotle multiple times a week, it doesnt sound like it even applies to you. You are just clinging to this aspirational word to try and validate why your cooking sucks. Lots of people cook grass fed and organic food that tastes good.

Nope, I clearly stated I don’t need to eat “clean” all the time but if I’m cooking I prefer to use clean ingredients. I don’t see why you have to get caught up on the word. I admitted my cooking does suck and I want to improve so I don’t know what’s the point of your comment. Cooking with clean ingredients can taste good and I need to get better at it. It’s the processed foods my husband will miss. I’m fine with him eating the processed stuff but obviously it’s not healthy to do it every meal. I’m not trying to control what he eats but I am concerned about him healthy and what he eats influences what our toddler eats.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve got picky kids and a husband who loves junk food and does not cook at all. I’m also not able/don’t want to every night due to work and other responsibilities.

We have divided up the nights. Husband is responsible for dinner half the time and does takeout for him and kids (I’ll usually eat something simple or leftovers). On my nights I cook. My husband will sometimes eat what I cook, sometimes I think he grabs something on the way home too, but he’s a grown man and responsible for himself. He knows what healthy food is where to get it.

This is our compromise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me start off my saying I’m somewhat of a health nut. I try to eat clean and mainly use whole, organic ingredients. I’m not a good cook but I’d rather eat something that is healthy for sustenance than something that is delicious but unhealthy. Stuff I make at home are usual stir fries with veggies and lean meat, baked chicken, marinated pork chops with veggies, and soups and stews with tons of veggies and lean meat.

My husband on the other hand loves junk food. He is in his 40s but still enjoys McDonalds. He goes to places like Burger King, 5 guys, Buffalo Wild Wings, and papa John’s multiple times a week. At the risk of sound like a snob, I never ate at places like that before meeting him. To me it’s junk food filled with empty calories, bad oils, and low quality ingredients. He also enjoys higher quality restaurants like the Great American chains where he can get ribs, burgers and steaks there but it’s not feasible for our budget and schedule to get takeout from restaurants like that everyday.

As far as fast food goes, I’m okay with getting Chipotle, kabobs from Moby Dicks and Panda Express maybe 2-3x a week. That’s something my husband and I can eat together. I like going out to eat too but I prefer sushi and lighter fares like Thai. I just can’t stand eating greasy fried carb rich foods and fatty meats all the time, but that’s what my husband wants most of the time. Basically, my husband thinks restaurants like True Food Kitchen is disgusting but I really appreciate a restaurant that serves up ultra healthy foods even though it may not taste as good as a regular restaurant.

To make matters worse my 2 year old son is also an extremely picky eater. Some days he’ll only eat crackers. I try to cook healthy foods for him like meatballs in homemade marinara sauce filled with veggies, chilis, fresh banana pancakes, etc but it gets rejected most of the time which is extremely frustrating but at least I will eat the stuff I make so it doesn’t go to waste. My husband will not eat the stuff I cook for my son because it’s too bland and “healthy” so often times he’ll order pizza and wings instead.

Sorry for the long rant but I guess I just feel grossed out by how unhealthy my husband eats and I also feel rejected that he won’t eat the food I cook 90% of the time. Should I try to cater my cooking to suit him better? However I want my toddler to eat healthy too so my recipes will be on the clean side and it’s exhausting enough trying to cook something my toddler will eat let alone my husband. I don’t want to have to cook something separate for my husband and have him reject it too so he’s been getting takeout almost every meal everyday and I feel kinda guilty about how much junk he’s eating.

To top it off, he’s also goes off and on this keto diet where he only eats meat so he’s getting ribs, wings, burger patties and chik fila salads and fried chicken all the time. When he’s off the diet he just wants to splurge and tells me to pick up cakes, donuts, pizzas, and all kinds of junk for him when I go shopping and I feel like an enabler. I just feel disgusted (am I being judgmental because I’m sort of a health nut?), exasperated and i don't know what to do.

The two of you need to sit down and have a full-on heart-to-heart discussion about food and health and the role(s) you each want them to play in your and your family's life, why you think the way you do about food/eating, and why eating healthy - or not - is important to each of you. Both need to be open-minded and not come to the conversation on guard to defend your own position. There is room for a LOT of compromise here; but the LONG-TERM HEALTH of you and your husband and your CHILD are the priority.

Hopefully you can all reasonably agree (1) that the current situation is not feasible for you, having to manage the different preferences of three individuals - and what if you add another child to the mix? (2) that health is important - and you can have more discussions and involve credible medical sources as needed (3) that the health and developing habits of a healthy lifestyle for your child(ren) should be a priority as parents.

Then, agree to:
a limit of "x" # of times eating/ordering out per week;
you choosing the dinners and cooking them "x" nights and your husband "x" nights or together or whatever;
A core list of meals (current or new or old ones from his childhood he loves, whatever) that you and he can agree to at least tolerate and meal plan around weekly;
Most importantly, one meal being served for everyone and everyone chooses to eat it or not -- This is the most important for right now. Your husband is not setting a good example for your child, not just regarding food choices, but by showing your child they don't have to consider your values and efforts. He is also setting your child up for choosing between parents, following dad and making mom feel even less appreciated and respected and fearful of her family members' health etc.

I am the mom of 2 who are now late teens. One was/is an extremely picky eater with a very narrow range of foods they'll eat. We've even done counseling for them about it. I am telling you:
You do not want FOOD to be the focus or become a point of tension in your family.
You SHOULD NOT become a short-order cook or cater to everyone's individual preferences every night. I have tried very hard to include at least some accommodation to ensure everyone will have something to eat. Don't do this! Work together on finding foods you can agree on to start. Over time, as you learn to cook better and your husband gets more accustomed to eating healthier food, it will become easier for everyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

that’s perfectly fine

Then, give your husband this grace. He doesn't have to follow your rules. He can eat what he wants. You aren't the boss of him. And the flip-side if, you are not responsible for him or his decisions. Stop being a control freak. He can feed himself.

I think people are being too rough on OP. I agree that DH is an adult, but a diet like OP is describing will catch up to him eventually. Once he's out of uniform, he's very likely going to balloon in weight and he'll start to develop cardiovascular disease. Who will have to deal with the fallout of this? Who will have take care of him after a heart attack or stroke? His poor diet WILL impact her life and her child's life.

Then if SHE wants him to eat better, she should make food that tastes GOOD. She is refusing to meet him half way. He is totally fine going on as is, she's the one with the issue.