I haven’t read this whole thread but I feel you, OP. I was there a year ago and was so stressed out. Yes my kid noodled around on websites but I was doing the back work of reading college confidential and reading reviews on Niche and thinking about where my kid would thrive. And how the actual f*ck we could afford it anyway. We’d saved some money but no way could we pay 80k a year.

It all worked out. It will work out for you. We dropped my son off at our state school - after he agonized about the 15 schools he applied to and got in which were all more expensive/etc- and went out for a drink. Good god it took years off my life getting that one into college.

It gets better. Hang in there, OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:State school if you have that option, and if not (DC people), lots of private schools below 40 give significant merit aid, and they are amazing colleges.

You have to give up the idea that there are bad choices or that it's top 10 or bust. In such thinking lies the path to destruction.

My ds cannot get into a top 10 school! Or probably even top 50. As for private schools giving so much aid, I have not actually found any where that would be the case. Most are over 70k, and then you can hope for "some aid". Because he does not have a high SAT score, he will not qualify for the very large awards. If you have found a school that will definitely give a kid like mine (1390 SAT and all As) tons of merit bringing the cost down significantly, please share because I will want him to consider it and apply if he likes it!

Private schools do give excellent aid--plenty of them. Just not T25 schools.
Key is to be in the 50-75%+ for stats. The higher the better. My kid got $160K+ for 4 years at a school that costs $85K (ranked about 50). Got ~$100K for one costing $65K/year.
Merit exists.

So merit can be more money than schools indicate is possible online? That is the part that is stressing me out the most. To be clear I am not looking at top schools! But the merit money never seems that high.

Yes, most schools don’t advertise what they are giving in merit. Tulane, I think. Is pretty generous. You need a consultant you can pay by the hour or just set aside a few hours on a weekend to look through thinks like college vine or college confidential to see which schools give more merit aid. But you can’t drive yourself nuts over it.

Don’t waste your money. Merit aid for all schools (students without financial need) is right here on this website (and in every school’s CDS):
https://www.collegetransitions.com/dataverse/merit-aid

Many Jesuit schools give merit.

Anonymous wrote:You’re telling me these DCUM teens with high stats and research experience and internships and nonprofits that they totally conceived of and manage by themselves can’t make a list of colleges that they want to apply to?

Laugh. Those kids have highly paid consultants to decide for them, bankrolled by the same parents who created the fake non-profit for them.

It is the other kids, more ordinary kids, whose parents aren't so wealthy, that ought to work college applications jointly with parents so they understand the financial constraints of more normal people.

Santa Clara, LMU, USD

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids applying to college are 17 and the financial decision is huge. They can’t even have a credit card and people say make kid research it all.

Not kid nor adult should make that big decision without consulting someone.

You’re telling me these DCUM teens with high stats and research experience and internships and nonprofits that they totally conceived of and manage by themselves can’t make a list of colleges that they want to apply to?

Touché.

Not really because we're talking about normal kids here, not superstars who stand out. There's a loon who curated her kid 100% all through high school to get him into Stanford on another thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids applying to college are 17 and the financial decision is huge. They can’t even have a credit card and people say make kid research it all.

Not kid nor adult should make that big decision without consulting someone.

You’re telling me these DCUM teens with high stats and research experience and internships and nonprofits that they totally conceived of and manage by themselves can’t make a list of colleges that they want to apply to?

Touché.

OP needs to frig da bean and relax...

Honestly, though, there was a lot more merit 10 years ago. Colleges hiked prices and gave huge merit discounts. Then, instead of raising tuition substantially, they only raised it a little or not at all, while slowly decreasing the merit.

So yes, 10 years ago, many private schools would get the price down to $40K or so. Now most if those are still giving merit, but only knocking it down to $60-65K. Of course there are exceptions. But much of the advice on this sub-forum is a little dated.

Ask how much merit current freshmen are getting, and ignore advice from everyone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:State school if you have that option, and if not (DC people), lots of private schools below 40 give significant merit aid, and they are amazing colleges.

You have to give up the idea that there are bad choices or that it's top 10 or bust. In such thinking lies the path to destruction.

My ds cannot get into a top 10 school! Or probably even top 50. As for private schools giving so much aid, I have not actually found any where that would be the case. Most are over 70k, and then you can hope for "some aid". Because he does not have a high SAT score, he will not qualify for the very large awards. If you have found a school that will definitely give a kid like mine (1390 SAT and all As) tons of merit bringing the cost down significantly, please share because I will want him to consider it and apply if he likes it!

Private schools do give excellent aid--plenty of them. Just not T25 schools.
Key is to be in the 50-75%+ for stats. The higher the better. My kid got $160K+ for 4 years at a school that costs $85K (ranked about 50). Got ~$100K for one costing $65K/year.
Merit exists.

So merit can be more money than schools indicate is possible online? That is the part that is stressing me out the most. To be clear I am not looking at top schools! But the merit money never seems that high.

Yes, most schools don’t advertise what they are giving in merit. Tulane, I think. Is pretty generous. You need a consultant you can pay by the hour or just set aside a few hours on a weekend to look through thinks like college vine or college confidential to see which schools give more merit aid. But you can’t drive yourself nuts over it.

OK, this is helpful. Because I am seeing everyone saying chase merit, research merit, there is so much merit...And the websites of the schools tell a different stories of very small merit when I do research it. So I guess people mean unofficial channels of research rather that official sites. Tulane is one of the schools on his list, insanely expensive. The application otoh is free. Knowing he could get merit there maybe we will apply.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:State school if you have that option, and if not (DC people), lots of private schools below 40 give significant merit aid, and they are amazing colleges.

You have to give up the idea that there are bad choices or that it's top 10 or bust. In such thinking lies the path to destruction.

My ds cannot get into a top 10 school! Or probably even top 50. As for private schools giving so much aid, I have not actually found any where that would be the case. Most are over 70k, and then you can hope for "some aid". Because he does not have a high SAT score, he will not qualify for the very large awards. If you have found a school that will definitely give a kid like mine (1390 SAT and all As) tons of merit bringing the cost down significantly, please share because I will want him to consider it and apply if he likes it!

Private schools do give excellent aid--plenty of them. Just not T25 schools.
Key is to be in the 50-75%+ for stats. The higher the better. My kid got $160K+ for 4 years at a school that costs $85K (ranked about 50). Got ~$100K for one costing $65K/year.
Merit exists.

So merit can be more money than schools indicate is possible online? That is the part that is stressing me out the most. To be clear I am not looking at top schools! But the merit money never seems that high.

Yes, most schools don’t advertise what they are giving in merit. Tulane, I think. Is pretty generous. You need a consultant you can pay by the hour or just set aside a few hours on a weekend to look through thinks like college vine or college confidential to see which schools give more merit aid. But you can’t drive yourself nuts over it.

Anonymous wrote:Kids applying to college are 17 and the financial decision is huge. They can’t even have a credit card and people say make kid research it all.

Not kid nor adult should make that big decision without consulting someone.

You’re telling me these DCUM teens with high stats and research experience and internships and nonprofits that they totally conceived of and manage by themselves can’t make a list of colleges that they want to apply to?

Kids applying to college are 17 and the financial decision is huge. They can’t even have a credit card and people say make kid research it all.

Not kid nor adult should make that big decision without consulting someone.