Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Paying for food you eat in public is demeaning to you?
Keeping score is a fail on your test, but by very definition you're keeping score.
You suck.

No, I just look at how thoughtful, reasonable and overly cultured the person is.

So no Dutch man is thoughtful, reasonable, or overly cultured? You have a very parochial view of etiquette.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be a trad wife, we get it. This man is not for you.

Actually, not. I want to have a partner who is truly giving and generous. And who would support me in difficult times. I make half a million and was contributing higher share towards joint expenses in marriage and a relationship I had post divorce. But being ok when a woman to take out her wallet in restaurants is demeaning to me. I don’t want to be that woman

The problem with being a middle aged woman who makes 500k is the men “on your level” who are single have the option of much younger women. Don’t know too many rich single guys going for older women.

OP here - I usually date 5-15 years older men. It's very rate in fact when a man would agree to split on date 1. It signals to me that he's not interested in date 2, and is not even trying to impress or court me. I only met 3 or 4 such men so far in couple years

Anonymous wrote:Play stupid games, win stupid prizes OP.

This made me truly lol! excellent response

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, gold digger "testing" her dates is single - SHOCKER!

Maybe you should be more generous with your expectations. Testing dates is immature and shows a real lack of kindness.

So true about how "tests" are immature. People who create tests in their heads are really are people who have no idea how mature adults communicate.

I don't know that OP is a gold digger since she insists she's got plenty of money. But that accusation is one reason why, years ago, I started a relationship with a man and from the very first minute told him we would split everything. Since we were blunt about the relationship being for sex and fun and nothing more, I didn't want to owe him anything material or monetary. Even if only the two of us knew about it. And the only "testing" we did was STI testing.

No games, no trad "etiquette" like OP wants, and no mind-reading expected!

OP isn’t looking for a boy toy just for sex: don’t you see the difference ?

Oh, I definitely see the difference, PP. I'm saying that our morally "bad" relationship for, gasp, sex, at least was more honest, up front and actually equitable than OP's attempt at finding a "good" relationship with Mr. Traditional. At least we were always honest with each other about what we expected....

OP here: I met a few men who were not up to pulling off their weight in relationship. And I did offer them FWB arrangements: men always declined claiming it would be "immoral" or "self destructing for them". Men want to have cake and eat it, too, by having a woman take care of everything. When a woman goes "I just want you for sex" they quickly call her immoral.

Maybe he was testing you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, gold digger "testing" her dates is single - SHOCKER!

Maybe you should be more generous with your expectations. Testing dates is immature and shows a real lack of kindness.

So true about how "tests" are immature. People who create tests in their heads are really are people who have no idea how mature adults communicate.

I don't know that OP is a gold digger since she insists she's got plenty of money. But that accusation is one reason why, years ago, I started a relationship with a man and from the very first minute told him we would split everything. Since we were blunt about the relationship being for sex and fun and nothing more, I didn't want to owe him anything material or monetary. Even if only the two of us knew about it. And the only "testing" we did was STI testing.

No games, no trad "etiquette" like OP wants, and no mind-reading expected!

OP isn’t looking for a boy toy just for sex: don’t you see the difference ?

Oh, I definitely see the difference, PP. I'm saying that our morally "bad" relationship for, gasp, sex, at least was more honest, up front and actually equitable than OP's attempt at finding a "good" relationship with Mr. Traditional. At least we were always honest with each other about what we expected....

He prob agreed to split the bill bc he realized he didn’t want a second date.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be a trad wife, we get it. This man is not for you.

Actually, not. I want to have a partner who is truly giving and generous. And who would support me in difficult times. I make half a million and was contributing higher share towards joint expenses in marriage and a relationship I had post divorce. But being ok when a woman to take out her wallet in restaurants is demeaning to me. I don’t want to be that woman

The problem with being a middle aged woman who makes 500k is the men “on your level” who are single have the option of much younger women. Don’t know too many rich single guys going for older women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you really need to work on your writing/communication skills. Sounds like you were testing him for gender roles (he should split bill) but then are p*ssed that he did since he ordered more than you PLUS you have a $30 limit on first day cost.

If that is the case, then you are contradicting yourself.

I don’t have a “limit” on the bill cost. That’s what was the typical max bill for a man at first dates with me in the past.
No my test was if he would decline my offer to split and insist on paying himself as the man who invites and chose all items on the menu while I only asked for a $10 drink. I’m not comfortable paying for a man for food - taking out credit card, everyone watching me sign the check etc. I do split other expenses in LTR
I prefer when a man follows standard gender roles

That's not a standard gender role. You're just a misogynistic golddigger and confused.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, gold digger "testing" her dates is single - SHOCKER!

Maybe you should be more generous with your expectations. Testing dates is immature and shows a real lack of kindness.

So true about how "tests" are immature. People who create tests in their heads are really are people who have no idea how mature adults communicate.

I don't know that OP is a gold digger since she insists she's got plenty of money. But that accusation is one reason why, years ago, I started a relationship with a man and from the very first minute told him we would split everything. Since we were blunt about the relationship being for sex and fun and nothing more, I didn't want to owe him anything material or monetary. Even if only the two of us knew about it. And the only "testing" we did was STI testing.

No games, no trad "etiquette" like OP wants, and no mind-reading expected!

OP isn’t looking for a boy toy just for sex: don’t you see the difference ?

Anonymous wrote:Wow, gold digger "testing" her dates is single - SHOCKER!

Maybe you should be more generous with your expectations. Testing dates is immature and shows a real lack of kindness.

So true about how "tests" are immature. People who create tests in their heads are really are people who have no idea how mature adults communicate.

I don't know that OP is a gold digger since she insists she's got plenty of money. But that accusation is one reason why, years ago, I started a relationship with a man and from the very first minute told him we would split everything. Since we were blunt about the relationship being for sex and fun and nothing more, I didn't want to owe him anything material or monetary. Even if only the two of us knew about it. And the only "testing" we did was STI testing.

No games, no trad "etiquette" like OP wants, and no mind-reading expected!

Anonymous wrote:Are you in DC? How in the world did an expensive bottle of wine and tons of apps only come out to $100? What did you order to drink that was only $10?

Why do smart dcum people keep feeding this troll

Can't wait to read the novel that OP is testing out on us here!

I usually do not blast OPs for trickling out details--people do sincerely forget to say things in initial posts, especially if they're upset or angry, and come back to give more context etc. That can be genuinely helpful. And I dislike it when commenters here yell that every "here's more detail" addition is a sign of trolling.

But this OP is truly next level: Either a hilarious troll working up a fictional plot (hey it's keeping ME engaged for sure!) or, if real, the most clueless and self-centered person here in ages.

The additions about how the guy ordered a "bread dish" that OP deemed too "heavy" for dinner is just...wow. New tiny things for OP to judge! And a great way to gt us to keep reading!

Anonymous wrote:Are you in DC? How in the world did an expensive bottle of wine and tons of apps only come out to $100? What did you order to drink that was only $10?

Maybe OP went to Applebees.

Are you in DC? How in the world did an expensive bottle of wine and tons of apps only come out to $100? What did you order to drink that was only $10?