Anonymous wrote:This thread is shocking to be honest. I am confused as to what women want. They are contradicting themselves. If you look at their positions regarding gender roles in other threads versus their positions here it's schizophrenic

Everyone contradicts themselves.

People want all of the good and none of the bad with any personality trait in a partner. We want a man who will make the decisions about date night, but set up something we want to do. We want him to care about the kids and be proactive with their education and extracurriculars, but be totally fine with us choosing the particular schools and activities and adhere to the schedule we have set.

Men want this too, by the way. They want a woman who never liked sex that much until she met him, when she realized she loved it. And who is totally chill about any mess you make around the house, but wants to spend a lot of her free time making sure it’s clean and comfortable. And who keeps the kids well disciplined and in line, but is cool if you want to keep your eight year old up until midnight watching “Dune.”

I’m noticing that the women who are happy with “alpha” men had their kids with “beta” men. So, they get/got to pick where their kids go to school and summer camp and have probably already established their careers and living situations. Their “alpha” boyfriend gets to dominate restaurant choices when they go out and “dominates” in bed (although you can bet that he knows where the line is and never asks to cross it). Basically, women want someone who will make all of the choices they don’t want to make and don’t care about.

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Anonymous wrote:My friend who married more of an alpha type is very easy going. She is down to earth, not spoiled, a genuinely nice person and fun to be around. My friends and I are all more spoiled than she is. We’re nice people but she is inherently kinder and probably nicer to her husband.

Honestly, most women I know aren’t married to alphas. They’re married to men who let them call most of the shots.

That’s passive, reactive, lazy. To “let” your wife do everything.

Alphas have too much pride in things to do that. They’ll plan a party and tell the wife to show up and enjoy it! They’ll take the kid to batting practice twice a week without being told. They’ll see a little dent in your car and whisk it to the body shop over lunch for you.

What they won’t do is ignore things that need addressing. They are proactive. They can probably even start and hold discussions with you on matters of the house or kids or schedules.

My husband is “alpha,” and all of this is true. He also is irritated that I didn’t notice or take care of the dent myself. And he will expect me to have the house clean and dinner made around his batting practice schedule, whether he remembers to make time to eat with us or not.

The thing is, you have to be very easy going to get along with alpha men. I’m the kind of person who gets along with almost everyone and who has pretty permeable boundaries. My husband wants to be in charge and make most of the decisions. He wants to vacation when and where it’s convenient, and he wants to work the hours he wants to at job the job he wants to do.

At the same time, DH is irritated that I’m so easy going. I legitimately don’t care about the dent in the car or whether DS is good at baseball, and the chaos with the house and kids doesn’t stress me out. I don’t feel a need to keep a “tight ship.” Also, people I work with take advantage of me sometimes, an I do get really torn and really stressed between trying to make my boss happy and trying to make DH happy. This drives him nuts.


I think a lot of people want to have their cake and eat it too. If you want to have your way most of the time, then you are going to have to deal with someone who is easy going and not assertive about getting their way.

If you want to be with someone who is “alpha,” then you have to deal with not being in charge of things.

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Anonymous wrote:I need someone who is more alpha than me. I am pretty ambitious myself, but also want to feel like the woman.

Can you talk a little more about what this looks like in your relationships? What makes you feel like a woman?

Someone who is as successful professionally as I am (both money and prestige-wise). Someone who stands up for himself and doesn’t let others walk all over him in general. Someone not afraid to go after what he wants in life, and exhibits confidence.

However, I also want to feel like the woman dating and sexually. I love chivalry… things like the guy holding the door or carrying my luggage. I like the guy perusing me… him being the one asking for my number and asking me out, picking the restaurant, etc. Once in a relationship, I don’t mind taking the traditional female tasks and him the male (me taking the lead in the kitchen, him helping me get my car fixed if it breaks down, etc…). I realize everyone won’t agree with this, but it works for me.

You are the dream woman.
Most men like women like you.

No, most men like women like that but don’t put an effort sufficient to be dominant enough in a true masculine way.
Just like a PP I LOVE when my man makes decisions for me like a restaurant we go to, the dress I wear to a party etc. By far not all men “get” how sexy it is. How it shows me that he cares and wants me!

This has to be sarcasm right?

Absolutely not - “honey, wear whatever you want “ sounds like a total turn off to me.

Aka I don’t care. I don’t even care to take a look. I also don’t care to think about an outfit I liked before. I. Don’t. Care. About. You.

Picking out the outfit is not about you. It’s about their control, their desire. You are just a prop.

My exbf tried this and I was seriously creeped out.

In my experience this 100% depends on the delivery and how you feel and trust the person doing this. It can be hot if the elements are right.
It works when my DH tells me: I’d love to see you wear the blue dress. You look anmazing in it. And then later whispers about taking it off.

It didn’t work when an ex was like: wear this tonight.

Did you read the post from the lady who wants the guy to pick her and put it on her?

Anonymous wrote:If you work well in relationships with alpha men personalities, what is your personality like? What makes you feel loved? Are you opinionated?

I grew up in a family of Alpha men so I’m really good at wielding soft power in a relationship. 99% of the time, DH (who served 20 years in the Marines) wants to do what is going to make me happy. The other 1% of the time, we either negotiate or do something like a coin toss.

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Anonymous wrote:My DH is very masculine: stoic, dominant, high earner, strong. He is also a decade older, so when we started dating in my early 20s, the relationship dynamic has always been a little power imbalanced.

The pros: I don’t pay for anything. I work part time and my paycheck is mine. He also buys me whatever I want. He takes care of all the bills.
We have several children and I stayed home with them for as long as I wanted.
He is very attracted to me and is very affectionate. He definitely loves me.
He is very protective of me and the children and will not let anyone speak ill of me or hit on me without consequence.
He is very hardworking.
The cons: He doesn’t care very much how people feel. He won’t lie ever, even to protect my feelings.
He won’t let me do things he deems “unsafe” (like driving far at night).
He never takes vacations.
He won’t do anything he really doesn’t want to do.

I love my DH very much, but I definitely think you have to have a very easygoing personality to deal with men like him.

This seems more like a daddy/daughter relationship than one between two adult equals. 🤮

"Daddy" can be very sexy in certain circumstances, particular if he's a few years younger than his woman

Look, all this D/s stuff is fine for the bedroom, but people who want to live this shizz 24/7 are just weird.

Anonymous wrote:This thread is shocking to be honest. I am confused as to what women want. They are contradicting themselves. If you look at their positions regarding gender roles in other threads versus their positions here it's schizophrenic

I don’t think it is. Women are raised to be caregivers but they like to be taken care of too. How they like to be taken care of is of course different for each person.

I cannot believe American gender relations are so bad that men are genuinely confused at what women want. Here is what women want:

- emotional intelligence. A man who is comfortable with his feelings and is self aware and empathetic. These are crucial skills for success in life, at work and in the home. Having good relationship skills are foundational to a good marriage.
- generosity. True traditional notions of masculinity were based on this idea that men provided the backbone of their community societies and families. They give to their wife and children and they uphold the rules and laws of society. They are civic leaders and shining members of their communities. This requires financial, emotional and social generosity. You help others. You provide for your wife, you pick up the mail for your elderly neighbors, you are a role model for the son of the widow next door.

- ambition. Traditional masculine men have very high standards for themselves. They aim high and they have the will and the discipline to achieve their goals and dreams. Of course this leads to success in career endeavors and financial success. But this also means taking care of your body, being fit, having high standards and expectations for your family and children. You lead by example.

- chivalry. Respect women and children and the elderly. You protect those who are weaker than you or do not have the same access than you. You pay for dinner when out with your wife. You ensure you make enough money to ensure your children are well taken care of. You help out your elderly father or neighbor to mow his lawn.

It’s not that difficult!

100% of the people who characterize themselves as "alpha" are not. They are just loud and boorish.

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Anonymous wrote:My DH is very masculine: stoic, dominant, high earner, strong. He is also a decade older, so when we started dating in my early 20s, the relationship dynamic has always been a little power imbalanced.

The pros: I don’t pay for anything. I work part time and my paycheck is mine. He also buys me whatever I want. He takes care of all the bills.
We have several children and I stayed home with them for as long as I wanted.
He is very attracted to me and is very affectionate. He definitely loves me.
He is very protective of me and the children and will not let anyone speak ill of me or hit on me without consequence.
He is very hardworking.
The cons: He doesn’t care very much how people feel. He won’t lie ever, even to protect my feelings.
He won’t let me do things he deems “unsafe” (like driving far at night).
He never takes vacations.
He won’t do anything he really doesn’t want to do.

I love my DH very much, but I definitely think you have to have a very easygoing personality to deal with men like him.

This seems more like a daddy/daughter relationship than one between two adult equals. 🤮

"Daddy" can be very sexy in certain circumstances, particular if he's a few years younger than his woman

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Anonymous wrote:I need someone who is more alpha than me. I am pretty ambitious myself, but also want to feel like the woman.

Can you talk a little more about what this looks like in your relationships? What makes you feel like a woman?

Someone who is as successful professionally as I am (both money and prestige-wise). Someone who stands up for himself and doesn’t let others walk all over him in general. Someone not afraid to go after what he wants in life, and exhibits confidence.

However, I also want to feel like the woman dating and sexually. I love chivalry… things like the guy holding the door or carrying my luggage. I like the guy perusing me… him being the one asking for my number and asking me out, picking the restaurant, etc. Once in a relationship, I don’t mind taking the traditional female tasks and him the male (me taking the lead in the kitchen, him helping me get my car fixed if it breaks down, etc…). I realize everyone won’t agree with this, but it works for me.

You are the dream woman.
Most men like women like you.

No, most men like women like that but don’t put an effort sufficient to be dominant enough in a true masculine way.
Just like a PP I LOVE when my man makes decisions for me like a restaurant we go to, the dress I wear to a party etc. By far not all men “get” how sexy it is. How it shows me that he cares and wants me!

This has to be sarcasm right?

Absolutely not - “honey, wear whatever you want “ sounds like a total turn off to me.

Aka I don’t care. I don’t even care to take a look. I also don’t care to think about an outfit I liked before. I. Don’t. Care. About. You.

Picking out the outfit is not about you. It’s about their control, their desire. You are just a prop.

No. Grow up.

That’s only if they are demanding you wear their selected outfit all the time.

Thinking of you in the sexy orange dress for your last Hawaii trip and saying Wear That!, is thoughtful.

Orange dress? ORANGE DRESS? Now I know you’re a man. Whoever said orange is the new pink was seriously disturbed.

My dom always picks black, pink or leathers. All elegant not much skin

Anonymous wrote:Bill Clinton was always described by his admirers an alpha, if that cuts through all the redditors here acting like it’s a dirty word.

Well his was at a minimum a cheater and womanizer and possibly even rapey, so yeah that doesn't improve my sense of what "alpha" means to people

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Anonymous wrote:Im a professionally successful woman, I was married for a decade to a “beta male”. I was in charge and he followed along. Clearly that didn’t work as we are no longer married. The professional environment in which I thrive is not the same in which I thrive personally.

I am now dating a man who you probably consider “alpha”. He just makes sure stuff gets done. He is as liberal politically as I am, and doesnt see me as a second class citizen at all. But he views it as his job to make sure Im good. Im safe. Im taken care of. Same with my kids, his kids, his parents and younger siblings, etc. He does things for me that I could do myself. He makes my life easier. To use the tik tok parlance that “alpha male” comes from, I am a passenger princess. He holds doors and carries heavy things and pushes the cart in the grocery store. I can go out with him without a purse and be fine (lack of makeup for a touchup aside) because he can take care of whatever I need. He is the head of the household and takes that responsibility very seriously. And he absolutely dominates me in bed, in a very consensual, safe manner.

10/10, highly recommend men who are “men”.

I am you. Also divorcing beta (or is there lower than that) male (his affair). I am so sick of carrying all the decisions and strength in our relationship and never having an initiator or protector. I pray I’ll find a good man and am so achievers in my career and life now that I crave to take the secondary role. Where do high moral alpha females go to find similar alpha males?

The good alphas are long gone. Know few true alphas whose wives have careers. Even then, those wives are part-time docs and the family doesn’t depend on the wife’s income.

Desirable men have the most options, and they rarely choose a woman who thinks her career should be more important than her family caretaking. Feminists don’t teach that pursuit of a career can have real, negative repercussions. So ladies, teach your daughters that it’s often an either-or situation when it comes to love and career.

Absolutely not. Are you a man? What kind of garbage are you trying to teach young girls? You need to be a submissive SAHW with no income, control or agency of your own life just to find "love"? No thank you.

No that’s not what PP suggested. Dominant alpha men are attracted to alpha women. I make over 500k/year and am deeply submissive to my man. Yes, I had to put my corporate career on back burner for a few years but I was building my own business in parallel and succeeded. Can’t stand beta men who want me to decide everything on their behalf and freak out when they need to make a crucial decision.

That is absolutely what pp was suggesting. I'm glad that you have a kick-a$$ career and a happy home life. PP literally says to teach girls its an either or - love or career. That is 100% false.

I think they were suggesting reasonable flexibility in choices of both personal life and career. You don't need to be all over his ass with your career talk, while you are making 400K as a side gig

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Anonymous wrote:I need someone who is more alpha than me. I am pretty ambitious myself, but also want to feel like the woman.

Can you talk a little more about what this looks like in your relationships? What makes you feel like a woman?

Someone who is as successful professionally as I am (both money and prestige-wise). Someone who stands up for himself and doesn’t let others walk all over him in general. Someone not afraid to go after what he wants in life, and exhibits confidence.

However, I also want to feel like the woman dating and sexually. I love chivalry… things like the guy holding the door or carrying my luggage. I like the guy perusing me… him being the one asking for my number and asking me out, picking the restaurant, etc. Once in a relationship, I don’t mind taking the traditional female tasks and him the male (me taking the lead in the kitchen, him helping me get my car fixed if it breaks down, etc…). I realize everyone won’t agree with this, but it works for me.

You are the dream woman.
Most men like women like you.

No, most men like women like that but don’t put an effort sufficient to be dominant enough in a true masculine way.
Just like a PP I LOVE when my man makes decisions for me like a restaurant we go to, the dress I wear to a party etc. By far not all men “get” how sexy it is. How it shows me that he cares and wants me!

This has to be sarcasm right?

Absolutely not - “honey, wear whatever you want “ sounds like a total turn off to me.

Aka I don’t care. I don’t even care to take a look. I also don’t care to think about an outfit I liked before. I. Don’t. Care. About. You.

Picking out the outfit is not about you. It’s about their control, their desire. You are just a prop.

No. Grow up.

That’s only if they are demanding you wear their selected outfit all the time.

Thinking of you in the sexy orange dress for your last Hawaii trip and saying Wear That!, is thoughtful.

Orange dress? ORANGE DRESS? Now I know you’re a man. Whoever said orange is the new pink was seriously disturbed.

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Anonymous wrote:Im a professionally successful woman, I was married for a decade to a “beta male”. I was in charge and he followed along. Clearly that didn’t work as we are no longer married. The professional environment in which I thrive is not the same in which I thrive personally.

I am now dating a man who you probably consider “alpha”. He just makes sure stuff gets done. He is as liberal politically as I am, and doesnt see me as a second class citizen at all. But he views it as his job to make sure Im good. Im safe. Im taken care of. Same with my kids, his kids, his parents and younger siblings, etc. He does things for me that I could do myself. He makes my life easier. To use the tik tok parlance that “alpha male” comes from, I am a passenger princess. He holds doors and carries heavy things and pushes the cart in the grocery store. I can go out with him without a purse and be fine (lack of makeup for a touchup aside) because he can take care of whatever I need. He is the head of the household and takes that responsibility very seriously. And he absolutely dominates me in bed, in a very consensual, safe manner.

10/10, highly recommend men who are “men”.

I am you. Also divorcing beta (or is there lower than that) male (his affair). I am so sick of carrying all the decisions and strength in our relationship and never having an initiator or protector. I pray I’ll find a good man and am so achievers in my career and life now that I crave to take the secondary role. Where do high moral alpha females go to find similar alpha males?

The good alphas are long gone. Know few true alphas whose wives have careers. Even then, those wives are part-time docs and the family doesn’t depend on the wife’s income.

Desirable men have the most options, and they rarely choose a woman who thinks her career should be more important than her family caretaking. Feminists don’t teach that pursuit of a career can have real, negative repercussions. So ladies, teach your daughters that it’s often an either-or situation when it comes to love and career.

Absolutely not. Are you a man? What kind of garbage are you trying to teach young girls? You need to be a submissive SAHW with no income, control or agency of your own life just to find "love"? No thank you.

No that’s not what PP suggested. Dominant alpha men are attracted to alpha women. I make over 500k/year and am deeply submissive to my man. Yes, I had to put my corporate career on back burner for a few years but I was building my own business in parallel and succeeded. Can’t stand beta men who want me to decide everything on their behalf and freak out when they need to make a crucial decision.

That is absolutely what pp was suggesting. I'm glad that you have a kick-a$$ career and a happy home life. PP literally says to teach girls its an either or - love or career. That is 100% false.