Anonymous wrote:All geriatric people are self-focused, in the sense that they talk mostly about themselves, worry about themselves and want others to hear about themselves. This is somewhat like toddlers, who are incredibly limited in their ability to empathize (the whole world must feel the way they do, everyone ought to entertain their wishes). This is partly because old people have very small worlds, and their field of reference gets increasingly smaller with health issues and brain dysfunction. But it is also nature’s last gasp at gene transmission - the elderly have a tendency to overshare personal stories, accomplishments, histories and thoughts because they are at the end of life. “Someone please remember me” is the guiding subconscious principle as we age, and it’s good to realize we will be in the same place someday.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All geriatric people are self-focused, in the sense that they talk mostly about themselves, worry about themselves and want others to hear about themselves. This is somewhat like toddlers, who are incredibly limited in their ability to empathize (the whole world must feel the way they do, everyone ought to entertain their wishes). This is partly because old people have very small worlds, and their field of reference gets increasingly smaller with health issues and brain dysfunction. But it is also nature’s last gasp at gene transmission - the elderly have a tendency to overshare personal stories, accomplishments, histories and thoughts because they are at the end of life. “Someone please remember me” is the guiding subconscious principle as we age, and it’s good to realize we will be in the same place someday.

Actually not all elderly are like this. I for one do not wish to be remembered by anyone! I have destroyed all photos of myself that are in my posession and have plans for no funeral, death announcement or any sort of memorial service.

Anonymous wrote:They have been visiting for nearly a week on account of my daughter’s high school graduation. They are both old — mid 80s — and in poor health. I feel terrible about this because they are not bad people, but I hate having them visit. I feel it is an intrusion on my space, I feel stuck, I resent them, and all I want is for them to leave and never come back (and I’ll make sure of it). This visit is a way for them to feel important and feel seen. But I feel used. I’m 54 and and I am finally seeing my parents for the very damaged people that they are. I see how they hurt me as a child by neglecting me emotionally. I think my dad is a kind of narcissist — everything has to be about him, he’ll do anything for attention and adulation. His relentless focus on himself and his insatiable desire to get his needs met deprived me of being heard and being seen as a child. My mom is rather pathetic, sitting there passively, waiting to be told what to do. She’s always been that way. She will not be around much longer. I feel like I should have some kind of meaningful conversation with her but I can’t fathom what to say. I have nothing to say. Even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to get the words out. We don’t have that kind of relationship. I hate myself for feeling this way — couldn’t I be more compassionate at this stage in their lives, I keep telling myself — but the truth is that I don’t want to be. I’ve had it with them. They repulse me. This sucks but there you have it. Does anyone else feel this way?

Anonymous wrote:"That said, don't forget their strengths. And remember that respect for our parents is a key pillar of modern civilization in every culture on this planet."
That might have been true when the parents were all about leaving a better world for their children. In current "F* you, I got mine" generation, this doesn't exactly hold. They've literally sold out their grand-grandchildren (who are not yet born) to make life more comfy for themselves.

Anonymous wrote:All geriatric people are self-focused, in the sense that they talk mostly about themselves, worry about themselves and want others to hear about themselves. This is somewhat like toddlers, who are incredibly limited in their ability to empathize (the whole world must feel the way they do, everyone ought to entertain their wishes). This is partly because old people have very small worlds, and their field of reference gets increasingly smaller with health issues and brain dysfunction. But it is also nature’s last gasp at gene transmission - the elderly have a tendency to overshare personal stories, accomplishments, histories and thoughts because they are at the end of life. “Someone please remember me” is the guiding subconscious principle as we age, and it’s good to realize we will be in the same place someday.

Anonymous wrote:My father just killed himself.

You are horrible, OP. Wish I'd never read this damn post.