She is lying. I had a new hire do this to me.

Same scenario I calmed explained I went through this mom and you can order hospital bed and stuff from Medicaid ot Medicaid shop it to your house. Move the person your house. Insurance covers 20 hours a week for help and pay out of pocket rest.

It became apparent the parent was an excuse to quit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am really confused why people think she's lying. I think it seems completely believable. Dementia is absolutely something that can go downhill quickly. FIL was probably forgetful a month ago and now, on their visit, they discovered he's living in total squalor and incapable of self-care. Fiancé probably said he was moving with or without her, but please come. If she wants to get married, she has to go. She was probably hoping that OP would offer some remote option/flexibility, because it's possible this will be a short-term thing (depending on the type of dementia, he very well may require hospitalization eventually).

She said it’s called ft something dementia. Whatever it is she said it’s rare.

Frontal lobe dementia? That can be a beast to manage.

When I talked to her on Friday she called it frontal temporal. I’m assuming it’s the same thing that you mentioned.

Anonymous wrote:I am FURIOUS. It took me 1.5 years to find the right person. She comes and does great. I get her to meet with every department head, send out a company-wide email that she’s joined the team, she set up meetings with others for this week to discuss the plans she had to make changes to their teams, we had started to discuss future plans she wanted to make to the department, etc., so she got very involved her first week.

I asked her Friday what her plans were and she said that she had to fly to GA because her father in law had a rare form of dementia, he’s not doing well, it’s just her husband taking care of him, and they needed to meet his doctors and her husband was already down there meeting with some of them. Last night she sent me a resignation letter saying that he was doing worse than they had thought and it would be financially better to relocate there instead of hiring 24/7 home care. She was resigning immediate to stay there to take care of him.

I am incredibly furious and embarrassed that she would do this. Just needed to vent.

Doesn't matter whether or not the former employee lied regarding her reason to resign immediately. The real issue is why it took 18 months to fill the position. The answer is the pay; it's almost always about the money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, one week in and she had to lie (assuming) about a dying person to get out.

It's an indicative of OP and her organization, if anything.

We have a great company. Most people who come here are here for at least 5 years. Most people stay 10+

Then it's you as a boss that's the problem.

Or (and get this) SHE ACTUALLY HAS A DYING RELATIVE.

You are just such a terrible person and what is wrong with HR (reminder, the H stands for human) these days.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am really confused why people think she's lying. I think it seems completely believable. Dementia is absolutely something that can go downhill quickly. FIL was probably forgetful a month ago and now, on their visit, they discovered he's living in total squalor and incapable of self-care. Fiancé probably said he was moving with or without her, but please come. If she wants to get married, she has to go. She was probably hoping that OP would offer some remote option/flexibility, because it's possible this will be a short-term thing (depending on the type of dementia, he very well may require hospitalization eventually).

She said it’s called ft something dementia. Whatever it is she said it’s rare.

Frontal lobe dementia? That can be a beast to manage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having managed many people over the past twenty years, I’d say she’s lying. But probably for good reason.

Why do you think she’s lying?

Because it came up too suddenly and very few people’s lives are flexible enough to just pick up and move like that. She planted the seed on Friday to be able to give the excuse on Monday. I’ve had something similar happen to me (only once in my career) and later learned the new employee had just shifted to another job that got her an offer a day after she’d started with us. Didn’t take it personally but it was very frustrating.

I was the one who suggested the lie earlier and all this. People who think this is too elaborate a lie don't know lying. This is nothing. And the reason for it is to not ruin her reputation. She's lying. What's the field and the job, OP?

It’s HR and she’s a specialist

WHAT? I work in HR and have a few specialists for me. Not to be rude, but they are literally a dime a dozen. The fact that you work in HR and took 1.5 years to hire someone speaks volumes about your organization and you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you furious about? I doubt she took this decision lightly and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. Give the lady some grace.

I am furious because 1) I don’t believe she’s being honest 2) didn’t give a notice

What would 2 weeks notice have given you? Honestly - you sound unhinged.

I just up and quit a career in November due to my last parent having an acute medical crisis.

I quit only after my new-to-me manager called me at home to berate me for not answering her email from the previous evening (after hours) and demanding that I outline my daily schedule as “she had no idea where I was.” I had been approved for Family Medical Leave and all was outlined on my calendar.

I left this manager natter on and managed to choke out, “I’m making hospice arrangements for my parent today. I’m heading to the hospital. I emailed you and reminded you I’m on leave.” This enraged her and she demanded I see her the next day at 8 a.m. Now crying, I told her that I would not be meeting with her because I was quitting - the most spontaneous decision I’ve ever made in my life. I’m typically a careful planner and an overly cautious person.

Called HR and asked for guidance for resigning without notice. I was advised to simply email HR with an effective date (immediately, the next business day) and if I felt like it, cc my manager. Boom. Done and dusted.

Dropped off my laptop and badge the next day en route to the hospital. No exit interview. Heard zero from the organization not counting g my final paycheck.

My parent lingered for 6 weeks but we had that time together and I was there at the end. No regrets, none. No plans to go back to work. I think I’m retired now.

Anonymous wrote:I am really confused why people think she's lying. I think it seems completely believable. Dementia is absolutely something that can go downhill quickly. FIL was probably forgetful a month ago and now, on their visit, they discovered he's living in total squalor and incapable of self-care. Fiancé probably said he was moving with or without her, but please come. If she wants to get married, she has to go. She was probably hoping that OP would offer some remote option/flexibility, because it's possible this will be a short-term thing (depending on the type of dementia, he very well may require hospitalization eventually).

She said it’s called ft something dementia. Whatever it is she said it’s rare.

Glad to hear she got out of there

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having managed many people over the past twenty years, I’d say she’s lying. But probably for good reason.

Why do you think she’s lying?

Because it came up too suddenly and very few people’s lives are flexible enough to just pick up and move like that. She planted the seed on Friday to be able to give the excuse on Monday. I’ve had something similar happen to me (only once in my career) and later learned the new employee had just shifted to another job that got her an offer a day after she’d started with us. Didn’t take it personally but it was very frustrating.

I was the one who suggested the lie earlier and all this. People who think this is too elaborate a lie don't know lying. This is nothing. And the reason for it is to not ruin her reputation. She's lying. What's the field and the job, OP?

It’s HR and she’s a specialist

It took you a year and a half to fill an HR position? There is something drastically wrong with this position or this company.

I am really confused why people think she's lying. I think it seems completely believable. Dementia is absolutely something that can go downhill quickly. FIL was probably forgetful a month ago and now, on their visit, they discovered he's living in total squalor and incapable of self-care. Fiancé probably said he was moving with or without her, but please come. If she wants to get married, she has to go. She was probably hoping that OP would offer some remote option/flexibility, because it's possible this will be a short-term thing (depending on the type of dementia, he very well may require hospitalization eventually).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why’d you give so much work the first week? Probably why she quit.

Since she's in HR she got to take a look under the hood of the organization.....and ran for the hills.

This should tell you something, OP. But I doubt you will learn the lesson.

She was making connections with people and I constantly saw her laughing with people outside of her department, so it wasn’t because of the organization

Anonymous wrote:Why’d you give so much work the first week? Probably why she quit.

Since she's in HR she got to take a look under the hood of the organization.....and ran for the hills.

This should tell you something, OP. But I doubt you will learn the lesson.

Hopefully this position pays at least 180k for no remote and dealing with this, I'd quit immediately