Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One reason we have never stored anything in our attic or expanded our house

You don’t have anything in your attic? We have lots of Christmas decorations and keep sake boxes 1 for each person, and some other random stuff, but it’s all labeled clearly, which I did after purging about the same amount. It would probably take them 2 hours to pull down and sort into take, toss, donate.

DP, but we don't even have an attic. The benefit of this is we have extremely limited Christmas decorations, because there is no storage space for that kind of stuff.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and older relatives have some sick joke that if we’re inheriting all their money we have to deal with cleaning and selling.

It is what it is. I think by 85, people should have their homes parsed down and cleared out. Like spare room closets empty, attic empty, basement empty

Really they should just move into their graves - sleep in a coffin, only wear the thing they want to be buried in.

You're right. Wishing my parents didn't have a garage full of broken car parts is the same as wishing they were dead. You're very smart and not at all a tedious POS.

So help them get rid of that stuff now, or figure out who you're going to have to call when the time comes. What do you want them to do? You think your parents are suddenly going to become completely different people, becuase you're planning for their death?

The entitlement on this thread is astonishing.

What the actual F does the above complaint have to do with "entitlement"???? People throw that label on anything they don't like to read on here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One reason we have never stored anything in our attic or expanded our house

You don’t have anything in your attic? We have lots of Christmas decorations and keep sake boxes 1 for each person, and some other random stuff, but it’s all labeled clearly, which I did after purging about the same amount. It would probably take them 2 hours to pull down and sort into take, toss, donate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No more keeping things in case they ever come in handy.

I think this drives a lot of it. People can imagine uses for things, but they don’t think about what they could do if they needed something they gave away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: They know she didn’t want it all to go to Goodwill or what have you…

Too bad, so sad. If she wanted it to go someplace in particular, she should have done so while she was alive!

Do you not see how two people grieving the recent loss of their mother cannot breezily adopt a “too bad, so sad” attitude and “simply toss,” etc.? THE POINT of this thread is that there is a lot of emotional burden placed on those left behind. No, they can’t just act like a rude, anonymous internet poster…they are living in actual grief.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the reasons we will in a small house is so that we don’t accumulate a lot of stuff. I’m always giving away stuff and do a whole house purge every fall and spring.

What do you purge twice a year?

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the note OP.

Any tips for getting rid of stuff if you’re a keeper of “too much” stuff? I especially struggle with old work papers. I’m kinda stuck. When I’m on a flight and turbulence hits; I think heaven forbid I leave my kids to dispose of stupid boxes full of work papers from a job from 15 years ago!! All tips welcome.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did not mean that the stuff is sadder than her death. That came out wrong. I just meant it is honestly heartbreaking to see them, grief-stricken, also dealing with tons of work, confusion, guilt, and endless labor. They know she didn’t want it all to go to Goodwill or what have you, but they (and the larger family) only want a few things, not everything. There’s just so much.

The weight of the stuff is very, very heavy.

Your cousins should have helped their mother do this when she was alive. Elderly people have a VERY difficult time knowing where to begin. It’s overwhelming, and even emotional. At the end of the day, even after giving away things, you’re still going to have a lot left - furniture, clothes, cookware, cleaning supplies, luggage, decorations, linens, rugs, lamps, books, art, decor, fans, gardening supplies, container plants and patio furniture, make up and toiletries, medicines, and all the other garbage that’s found in a home, even a pared down home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and older relatives have some sick joke that if we’re inheriting all their money we have to deal with cleaning and selling.

It is what it is. I think by 85, people should have their homes parsed down and cleared out. Like spare room closets empty, attic empty, basement empty

Really they should just move into their graves - sleep in a coffin, only wear the thing they want to be buried in.

You're right. Wishing my parents didn't have a garage full of broken car parts is the same as wishing they were dead. You're very smart and not at all a tedious POS.

So help them get rid of that stuff now, or figure out who you're going to have to call when the time comes. What do you want them to do? You think your parents are suddenly going to become completely different people, becuase you're planning for their death?

The entitlement on this thread is astonishing.

What the actual F does the above complaint have to do with "entitlement"???? People throw that label on anything they don't like to read on here.

If anything sitting on a pile of crap you don't need and expecting other people to deal with it is entitled. It's also wasteful. All the crap my parents refuse to deal with might have been useful to someone 20 years ago but they can't part with it, so now it's garbage. Fortunately I've learned not to be like them.

Yes, yes, I am 100% entitled to keep my own stuff and do what I want with it while I'm alive, do go on.

And you're entitled to throw out your own stuff and to throw out your parents "garbage" after they pass away, just as you like.

You are entitled to keep your stuff. Your heirs won’t think well of you on that score.

lol they’ll have a multi million dollar inheritance to console them. Plus they can always reflect on how I paid for their educations and took loving care of them when they grew up.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did not mean that the stuff is sadder than her death. That came out wrong. I just meant it is honestly heartbreaking to see them, grief-stricken, also dealing with tons of work, confusion, guilt, and endless labor. They know she didn’t want it all to go to Goodwill or what have you, but they (and the larger family) only want a few things, not everything. There’s just so much.

The weight of the stuff is very, very heavy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and older relatives have some sick joke that if we’re inheriting all their money we have to deal with cleaning and selling.

It is what it is. I think by 85, people should have their homes parsed down and cleared out. Like spare room closets empty, attic empty, basement empty

Really they should just move into their graves - sleep in a coffin, only wear the thing they want to be buried in.

You're right. Wishing my parents didn't have a garage full of broken car parts is the same as wishing they were dead. You're very smart and not at all a tedious POS.

So help them get rid of that stuff now, or figure out who you're going to have to call when the time comes. What do you want them to do? You think your parents are suddenly going to become completely different people, becuase you're planning for their death?

The entitlement on this thread is astonishing.

What the actual F does the above complaint have to do with "entitlement"???? People throw that label on anything they don't like to read on here.

If anything sitting on a pile of crap you don't need and expecting other people to deal with it is entitled. It's also wasteful. All the crap my parents refuse to deal with might have been useful to someone 20 years ago but they can't part with it, so now it's garbage. Fortunately I've learned not to be like them.

Yes, yes, I am 100% entitled to keep my own stuff and do what I want with it while I'm alive, do go on.

And you're entitled to throw out your own stuff and to throw out your parents "garbage" after they pass away, just as you like.

You are entitled to keep your stuff. Your heirs won’t think well of you on that score.

Anonymous wrote:It's not about future inconvenience or s***ing over old people. It's to remind everyone that the current idea of living on a pile of mammon is not sustainable!

Anonymous wrote:Interesting to think about self-storage places and what might be in those units. I understand the use for them when you have a temporary relocation and other reasons but I know people who just off-loaded a bunch of their excess stuff into one. Did anyone's parents have one or more of these?