I think logically any place with a high standard of living will dictate the need for those living race lives. Does it mean 100% do? Of course not. But the higher the living standards, the higher chances are for requiring to live a certain standard aka a rat race lifestyle.

Must major metros ie NW DC/Georgetown, Arl/Old Town, even extending to Ashburn and Falls Church City, Bethesda/Kensington req you to live in the rat races with kids. You simply can't afford to live taking vacations, being cultural and spend the way you must otherwise.

Fr on this perspective, I'd look at moving to a second tier town that doesn't have the high standard of living aka housing costs. But people forget that nothing is 100% perfect.

Money buys really nice enjoyable things. Money doesn't buy you happiness but it sure buys you a lot of resources, tools and opportunities to find great pleasure!

So you can either embrace the rat race and be grateful for your opportunity to indulge in the rat race pleasures or move to a non rat race lifestyle where you can find your non rat race pleasures. There is one or the other. To live a non rat race life in a rat race environment for me is the true dealbreaker. I'm someone who wants to have the best of everything and if I see I can't have the finer things everyday it would depress me. But I also take great joy in stuff that's simple so a non rat race lifestyle can offer me just as much joy. But I can't mix it. It sucks to live in Manhattan broke. More depressing than to just live quietly in DE. Everything and everyplace has its own kind of charm. But you have to choose.

OP I would simply look at places with lower housing costs not too far from an airport. Having kids is the big prob. Much easier if no kids!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't actually have to move to leave the rat race. There's plenty of middle class people in the DC area who live normal lives.

Op here. The problem is that we aren’t middle class and pretending that we are is both unrealistic and just dishonest to everybody involved.

“Pretending” you’re middle class???
Wow, OP. You sound insufferable. Stay in DC.

What's your criticism here exactly?

There are lots of really wealthy people in dc who are quiet about it and just plugging along - not really in the rat race and doing jobs that they enjoy. Teaching, non profit, social work, etc. I think some of this is your attitude and it’s not going to be any different anywhere else.

My uber-wealthy cousin got a job teaching at her local middle school. She lives in a ginormous house and drives an Audi. She probably uses her paycheck to buy shoes. She is a very down to earth, unpretentious person who does not flaunt her wealth, but she doesn't hide it either. She just does her job and lives her life. No pretending required. Not in the rat race. She inherited her wealth.

Anonymous wrote:We were never in the rat race. Our wealth is from a lucky/savvy investment in stocks, not from our professions or family money. We live a small, middle class life, with parents working flexibly from home most of the time, able to spent time with kids. It's nice.

Teaching our teens to manage what money they have is more important than getting them into highly-paid positions. We value work-life balance enormously.

+1

We ended up with flexible jobs with a lot of WFH time back before it became a big issue in the news to WFH. We both did a lot of carpools and spent loads of time with the kids.

We live a simple life, bought an inexpensive house, paid that off, and feel pretty happy about the work-life balance. Although I did once have a bad work-life balance, I aimed towards fixing that and eventually did.

Anonymous wrote:Also there are lots of beach towns in Connecticut and Massachusetts that are full of rich, well-educated people. Some obviously epitomize the rat race. Others are chill. I imaging the California coast is a little like this also.

And most real ski towns.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is OP's end goal? Are they looking to retire/quit their jobs and move somewhere else that's more laid back but still full of rich people? Or are you going to be continuing your careers/grind? It's really unclear what you're looking to do, other than be "normal" but stay away from the poors.

I think they’re seeking to be around other rich-enough people who are interested in taking a breather, looking around and enjoying life, vs constantly competing to make more, achieve more, add more to the checklist of must-haves for their houses, children, lives.

This is hard to find. The best alternative is to simply not play the game - that’s how you leave the rat race. It’s a mindset.

Anonymous wrote:What is OP's end goal? Are they looking to retire/quit their jobs and move somewhere else that's more laid back but still full of rich people? Or are you going to be continuing your careers/grind? It's really unclear what you're looking to do, other than be "normal" but stay away from the poors.

I think they’re seeking to be around other rich-enough people who are interested in taking a breather, looking around and enjoying life, vs constantly competing to make more, achieve more, add more to the checklist of must-haves for their houses, children, lives.

Also there are lots of beach towns in Connecticut and Massachusetts that are full of rich, well-educated people. Some obviously epitomize the rat race. Others are chill. I imaging the California coast is a little like this also.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't actually have to move to leave the rat race. There's plenty of middle class people in the DC area who live normal lives.

Op here. The problem is that we aren’t middle class and pretending that we are is both unrealistic and just dishonest to everybody involved.

Lol

The richest people I know in real life are (1) a NPR reporter (2) art teachers. Like heiress level of money. And they totally cosplay as middle class. Maybe even think they are middle class. Bless. You're going to be OK.

I think you’re missing OPs point. An NPR reporter is likely to be surrounded by intellectually curious, well-educated, and/or worldly people in daily life. Hard truth is that it is easier to build friendships when you don’t have to think as much about censoring yourself when talking about opportunities, interests, or experiences that you’ve had that will label you “fancy” or otherwise alienate you in certain groups.

Is simply scaling back an option? I turned down two attempts, in two different companies, to promote me to high-stress jobs. Instead, I wanted to spend at least some of each day with my kids. It sounds like some of you have plenty of retirement and college savings, so maybe you can change to a lower-pressure workplace in your field.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did! It’s lovely. We still work because we’re not quite at our financial targets for retirement, but we will easily be able to retire in our 50s. Both of us hope to work an additional 10-15 years in second careers that are less stressful.

Such as? What careers have you found that aren't stressful and would be not as much of a drag to work when you are aging out of the workplace?

I am not PP, but I went from big law to a small firm where I get paid on my collections, and my billable requirement to cover my overhead is negligible. My work is pretty chill without the pressure to meet a billable requirement, win more business, or go into an office for meetings about things I don't care about. I don't mind work anymore. Some days I enjoy it. And with no in-office requirement, I can spend summers or holiday breaks wherever I want. This is possible because I have loyal clients and FU money. I would make more money in big law, but it's not worth it anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did! It’s lovely. We still work because we’re not quite at our financial targets for retirement, but we will easily be able to retire in our 50s. Both of us hope to work an additional 10-15 years in second careers that are less stressful.

Such as? What careers have you found that aren't stressful and would be not as much of a drag to work when you are aging out of the workplace?

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