Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women do make the first move, it's just not the actual "would you go to dinner with me?" question. We are throwing a thousand "moves" your way that you absolutely pick up on and that is what enables you to ask us out. Society trains us (both men and women) to play this game. I personally like it. It's fun as hell. If it stresses you out, then maybe you need to build your confidence.

YES! I've made the first move many many times.

Subtle moves like touching the arm or asking out?

Of the three men I ended up in longer relationships with:

1) Asked out. 2) Confessed feelings. 3) Pulled out a condom and jumped the guy.

Anonymous wrote:Because you don't do anything else re: relationship labor so the least you can do is show the littlest bit of initiative and ask a woman out. Women know this is probably the last time they won't have to do EVERYTHING.

Sounds like you had plenty of notice on who he was. Sorry you married an a$$.

Anonymous wrote:Men have no incentive to pursue. Plus women have made it clear they want the bear not the man. Maybe look to the bears for a date?

Sounds like men had a PR problem and rather than pout about it perhaps change their actions so they can change the narrative.

Because you don't do anything else re: relationship labor so the least you can do is show the littlest bit of initiative and ask a woman out. Women know this is probably the last time they won't have to do EVERYTHING.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman, I advise all women who care to listen to let the man make the first move. Always. If he doesn’t then move on. I want to be with a man who has confidence, knows what he wants, and goes after it. That’s it. If he is too timid/scared/nervous to approach me then obviously we aren’t a good fit. The beginnings of a relationship really do matter.

Why does it make a man weak if he doesn't do that doesn't mean he won't be able to protect you? I never understood that goddamn logic why going after what you want is part of masculinity

Because internalized misogyny.

As a woman from a pretty conservative family and country, I was taught that’s it’s okay for the lady to make the first move. Like, touch his elbow, say a compliment and see if he reciprocates, suggest a joint activity. But you let him court you after. If he doesn’t - move on.
The beginning of the relationship is very important - I don’t feel wanted if I am the one who has always to ask him out, plan dates etc.

I’ve been asked out by a few women and I never found it strange. They were women I met in class or at work. I suppose they had had time to check me out and figure I wasn’t a masher. Each relationship listed about a year and ended when either school ended or a job change required a relocation.,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother made the first move nearly 100 years ago (in 1925). I guess it WAS the roaring 20’s. I’ve read / heard that it was actually reasonably acceptable back then.

Omg, don’t leave us hanging. What did she do?

Po here. My grandparents met in the finals of a tennis tournament playing mixed doubles against each other. She thought he was cute, he liked that she got along so well with her brother, who was her tennis partner.

The prizes for the winner and runner up were trophy plates. At the trophy ceremony she said, “maybe we could have dinner off these sometime.”

Anonymous wrote:As a woman, I advise all women who care to listen to let the man make the first move. Always. If he doesn’t then move on. I want to be with a man who has confidence, knows what he wants, and goes after it. That’s it. If he is too timid/scared/nervous to approach me then obviously we aren’t a good fit. The beginnings of a relationship really do matter.

Why does it make a man weak if he doesn't do that doesn't mean he won't be able to protect you? I never understood that goddamn logic why going after what you want is part of masculinity

Anonymous wrote:If women are so independent and self sufficient these days why are men still the ones expected to make the first move? If a woman likes a guy what's preventing her asking him out? If she wants to be his wife what's preventing her from asking him to marry her?

Men say they like women who make moves, and if she makes more money- great! But in real life they often seem to feel emasculated by independent women. Sad

Anonymous wrote:As a woman, I advise all women who care to listen to let the man make the first move. Always. If he doesn’t then move on. I want to be with a man who has confidence, knows what he wants, and goes after it. That’s it. If he is too timid/scared/nervous to approach me then obviously we aren’t a good fit. The beginnings of a relationship really do matter.

+100

As a woman, I advise all women who care to listen to let the man make the first move. Always. If he doesn’t then move on. I want to be with a man who has confidence, knows what he wants, and goes after it. That’s it. If he is too timid/scared/nervous to approach me then obviously we aren’t a good fit. The beginnings of a relationship really do matter.

Men have no incentive to pursue. Plus women have made it clear they want the bear not the man. Maybe look to the bears for a date?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because men and women are different. There are things men do and things women do. And our society has merged the norms together thinking it would liberate. It hasn't.

Grow a pair and make the first move.

It is even more fundamental than this. Gender roles are one thing, biology is another. Men are simply more motivated to pursue romantic/sexual relationships.

No longer true. Modern dating is very different. Men no longer have that motivation to pursue because they are under a gigantic microscope.

Nah. The only reason they are less motivated to pursue is the abundance and proliferation of p0rn. Soon enough it will be sex robots.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women do make the first move, it's just not the actual "would you go to dinner with me?" question. We are throwing a thousand "moves" your way that you absolutely pick up on and that is what enables you to ask us out. Society trains us (both men and women) to play this game. I personally like it. It's fun as hell. If it stresses you out, then maybe you need to build your confidence.

YES! I've made the first move many many times.

Subtle moves like touching the arm or asking out?