Anonymous wrote:Yes my teen is sexually active and I don't really care where it is. My concerns have been with birth control, consent, and not doing it somewhere the police can find you.

This x1000.

I am new to this thread but because I have teens, one of whom is only a freshman but has had multiple SOs, I landed here. I am also a dude. I lost my virginity really early- 13- to a very, very aggressive girl. To be honest, I thought she was super hot, but I wasn't aware that a girl could be as (or more) into sex than a boy. She kinda scared the hell out of me, lol, but I didn't want to NOT do it because my knowing her was based around a certain sport for which she was a manager. If I hadn't done it, I would have had to deal with the guys busting my chops. SO, I did it and liked it (not much not to like) and then sort of had an even bigger crush on her , but she was a free spirit and wasn't looking for an SO. That kind of mixed me up.
It was weird though, the fact that I had done 'it" seemed to make other girls want to do "it" with me. I wasn't a ROmeo prior to the first time, but it definitely seemed to up my charisma somehow.
The girl went on to be a "Young Life" leader lol. I was always impressed with how successfully she was able to fool her mom and dad into thinking she was this paragon of virtue, and fool Young Life too.
I am reasonably sure my 17 year old has NOT gone down that road, but I am not as sure about my 15 yo. I don't think it is a big deal if they are though, as long as they are being careful and smart.
I think, even though teens have always been tempted sexually of course, the prolific nature and ease of acquiring porn accelerates the drives.

Yes my teen is sexually active and I don't really care where it is. My concerns have been with birth control, consent, and not doing it somewhere the police can find you.

Anonymous wrote:I have four young adult DDs and none of them ever asked me to buy a vibrator snd none of the moms I know has ever mentioned this.

And there are plenty of young women who don’t have sex in high school, even when they are in relationships. Each of my DDs talked to me after they first had sex and all of them were in college when they became sexually active. Studies show that waiting is emotionally healthier for most teens and they end up having fewer partners (which is sexually healthier, among other things, because less risk of STDs, etc.).

DP.

I’m all for vibrators and masterbation, but please don’t give teens a vibrator.

The problem with teens using a vibrator is they quickly lose most of the ability to orgasm through any of the other, normal means, such as oral provided a partner. This can develop into a serious problem in relationships when your daughter’s partner (male or female) is unable to satisfy her through foreplay/sex, leading the partner to feel inadequate or lacking.

Using a vibrator can also prevent achieving orgasm through manual stimulation-masterbation or “normal” masterbation.

Vibrators are absolutely phenomenal for adult women (especially women with busy schedules) and for couples who are open-minded enough to incorporate them into their lovemaking.

But please don’t encourage early use by buying one for your teen daughter. Let her discover them on her own, later in life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they’ve been together for a year, they are already doing it.

Did you wait over a year as a teen?

Also most teens that have sex aren’t even in relationships.

BCP and condoms.

Times have changed but my closest friend and I both waited over a year to have PIV sex with our college boyfriends (and both ended up marrying our college boyfriends). Neither of us came from particularly conservative households and I do think we were outliers, but some people chose to wait for intercourse. For me the stress of pregnancy scares while in college didn’t seem worthwhile at first.

You admitted you were outliers, so what’s the point.

Some teen do and some kids don’t. Some start early and have 5 partners in a lifetime and other start in college and have 20.

My friends and I all lost ours in high school at varying times. A few were freshman. A few it was Senior week and most were in-between. And still keeping in touch, no one is any better than the other because of when they lost their virginity or how many partners they had.

So I am not about to judge any teens having consensual sex now, so why are so many moms here?

Heck, get them off electronics and socializing is a struggle.

As a parent you teach self love, confidence, and try not to succumb to peer pressure. Be your own person. Let them know the risks and you are there for them for questions. And then you let them go off. Your job is to turn them into independent adults BEFORE college so they are ready. Not control them.

It's funny that parents believe they have any control outside of raising confident kids. I didn't have sex until after college for the first time, my parents told me in high school that if I was going to have sex with my boyfriend, just to make sure we use protection. I knew they weren't against it but I made the choice not to until I was ready. If I had been ready in high school, I would have had sex then.