Anonymous
Post 04/08/2024 20:35     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
If your spouse cheated on you, you should deal with him/her as appropos and reflect upon what led to the transgression.

Telling the AP's partner is a spiteful act and almost certainly motivated by malice and anger. That person's marriage is none of your business.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2024 20:29     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I did not tell, to protect HER kids. Even though my kids are no children of divorce

Take the high road.

You did the wrong thing and you absolutely did not protect her children.


I am a different poster/ she did the right thing.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2024 20:28     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You people are horrible. OP has nothing to gain. This is vengeful. Stay out of other’s marriages.


You realize the complete irony in your statement, right?

I think the “stay out of other’s marriages” was meant for the cheaters. Lol


Cheating does not have to cause a divorce. Telling is not only vengeful but can cause a divorce and impact innocent children. No one needs to take down two marriages for revenge. You have no idea if someone is crazy, someone’s finances or how it could impact another’s kids. Affairs don’t have to impact kids…but someone telling is actively destroying other’s lives vs getting their rocks off. Marriage is more than sex. Doing this is worse. In fact, I would not want to know.

Deal with your own marriage—whatever your problems are. Do not get involved with others. Even Dr Phil agrees not to do this. Nothing good comes of it.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2024 20:27     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Lashing out against the AP does not erase what has already happened.


She’s not lashing out. She can send a simple succinct email. Done.

No drama is needed. I did and I was thanked by her spouse.


Similar. He didn’t have to pay alimony and he waited until last kid was 18 to file on her so no child support either. He can support them how he chooses abs she can’t use “their” $.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2024 20:26     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
I did and didn't regret it. We were able to get the "whole story" between us by sharing information with each other and piecing it together quite quickly. Oddly, it was comforting having a person out there who understood and shared my pain.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2024 20:26     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:Lashing out against the AP does not erase what has already happened.


No sh@t Sherlock :roll: Telling the spouse I’d the right thing to do. Period.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2024 20:24     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:Lashing out against the AP does not erase what has already happened.


She’s not lashing out. She can send a simple succinct email. Done.

No drama is needed. I did and I was thanked by her spouse.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2024 20:24     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You people are horrible. OP has nothing to gain. This is vengeful. Stay out of other’s marriages.

F you. The spouse stepped out of the marriage and I would want to know.


I would not. This is worse than the original offense.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2024 20:23     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You people are horrible. OP has nothing to gain. This is vengeful. Stay out of other’s marriages.


You realize the complete irony in your statement, right?

I think the “stay out of other’s marriages” was meant for the cheaters. Lol


Yeah. They can bang a married person for years—take family time, bash the AP’s spouse and then the poor spouse finally learns the truth and she gets a “stay out of others marriage” Umm she/he wouldn’t be there if you didn’t barge into HER/HIS marriage in the first place. You really can’t control what a person will do to protect their own family—-including telling your spouse.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2024 20:22     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Lashing out against the AP does not erase what has already happened.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2024 20:21     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:No, please don’t. Someone did that to my mother and it caused her a world of hurt. All these years later and they’re still married. Accomplished nothing but to devastate the world of an innocent person.


This
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2024 20:21     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:You people are horrible. OP has nothing to gain. This is vengeful. Stay out of other’s marriages.


You realize the complete irony in your statement, right?

I think the “stay out of other’s marriages” was meant for the cheaters. Lol
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2024 20:21     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:I think the “no way. Don’t tell” are cheaters not wanting their spouse to find out.


Absolutely this
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2024 20:20     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:You people are horrible. OP has nothing to gain. This is vengeful. Stay out of other’s marriages.

F you. The spouse stepped out of the marriage and I would want to know.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2024 20:19     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
You people are horrible. OP has nothing to gain. This is vengeful. Stay out of other’s marriages.