Casey @atpeaceparents is not for everyone but can definitely provide a helpful perspective on this profile of child and behavior. Our DD is a lot younger but has had similar outbursts and pharmaceutical history. Low demand parenting has vastly improved the dynamics. We still have a really tough time with the sibling relationships, and in our case it helps that our other kids are older and more independent.

Raising this child has been life-changing in ways I don't think typical families can understand. Reading your post, I ache for you. I hope you find something that eases your family's struggle and better supports your child.

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion, but this worked with my similar child (down to the several hositalizations)

Try low-demand parenting.

Let her have the internet (it may soothe her esp since she is neurodivergent). Back off your demands to the bare minimum -- school, hygiene, food.

Read The Explosive Child and join Plan B Facebook group.

Follow Casey @atpeaceparents on Instagram.

Your child needs a reset for their central nervous system.

This is a marathon and it is much harder for us than for other parents. Find supportive parents who get it and don't give you dumb advice like using sticker charts.

My kid is way beyond the explosive stage now and doing OK in a MCPS high school. Is he going to be valedictorian? No, but he's not suicidal, self-harming, violent, aggressive or on drugs.

We have no limits on screens. He does use them a lot, esp. music to self-soothe. But he also goes out now and socializes.

He was once on many psych drugs for ADHD and mood disorders and now is on no drugs at all.

Agreeing with this poster and also writing to give some home. We were in a similar boat a few years ago with an aggressive and extremely dysregulated 13 year old. Parenting techniques recommended by traditional therapists - taking away internet, incentives and consequences - made things much worse. We were strongly considering residential. After removing all demands, hewing to a Ross Greene approach, we began to understand that our child was in autistic burnout. Two years later, after finding different and supportive therapists, our child is so so much better. They are now doing things they could not do before - showering, school, vacations, chores. If traditional approaches aren’t working, think about this. It is so counterintuitive and scary and hard, but there are people who can support you.

After going through absolutely horrendous situations with my DD, I firmly believe that there is no molding behaviors when there is an unbalance in brain chemicals. Agree that an MRI should be done but if nothing is found, keep looking for the right medical intervention. I know how you feel OP, and I want you to know there is a treatment in your future that will help your child. Take turns with your DH in switching children and residences.

Unpopular opinion, but this worked with my similar child (down to the several hositalizations)

Try low-demand parenting.

Let her have the internet (it may soothe her esp since she is neurodivergent). Back off your demands to the bare minimum -- school, hygiene, food.

Read The Explosive Child and join Plan B Facebook group.

Follow Casey @atpeaceparents on Instagram.

Your child needs a reset for their central nervous system.

This is a marathon and it is much harder for us than for other parents. Find supportive parents who get it and don't give you dumb advice like using sticker charts.

My kid is way beyond the explosive stage now and doing OK in a MCPS high school. Is he going to be valedictorian? No, but he's not suicidal, self-harming, violent, aggressive or on drugs.

We have no limits on screens. He does use them a lot, esp. music to self-soothe. But he also goes out now and socializes.

He was once on many psych drugs for ADHD and mood disorders and now is on no drugs at all.

Anonymous wrote:She currently takes abilify, Zoloft, guanfacine, and trazadone.

OP I'm so sorry to hear this, what you're going through is incredibly difficult and there's no easy fix. Have been there to some extent with our daughter.
You may have already done this and her doctor may have accounted for, but if not recommend checking for drug-drug interactions.
Webmd has a tool you can use:
https://www.webmd.com/interaction-checker/default.htm

Drugs: Aripiprazole/Abilify, Sertraline/Zoloft, Guanfacine, Trazodone
9 Interactions Found

SERIOUS
Potential for serious interaction; regular monitoring by your doctor required or alternate medication may be needed.

Sertraline + Trazodone
Sertraline and Trazodone both increase causing a dangerous abnormal heart rhythm.
Sertraline and Trazodone both increase affecting serotonin levels in the blood. Too much serotonin is a potentially life-threatening situation. Severe signs and symptoms include high blood pressure and increased heart rate that lead to shock.

Trazodone + Guanfacine
Trazodone decreases effects of Guanfacine by Other mechanism.

Aripiprazole + Trazodone
Aripiprazole and Trazodone both increase causing a dangerous abnormal heart rhythm.

MONITOR CLOSELY
Significant interaction possible (monitoring by your doctor required).

Guanfacine + Aripiprazole
Guanfacine , Aripiprazole Mechanism: additive drug effects.
Additional Information: Caution, blood pressure may drop and chances of delerium may increase.

Sertraline + Aripiprazole
Sertraline will increase the level or effect of Aripiprazole by altering drug metabolism.
Sertraline and Aripiprazole both increase causing a dangerous abnormal heart rhythm.

Sertraline + Guanfacine
Sertraline will increase the level or effect of Guanfacine by altering drug metabolism.
Additional Information: Blood levels of guanfacine may increase. The dose of extended release guanfacine should be reduced by half.

Aripiprazole + Trazodone
Aripiprazole and Trazodone both increase sedation and drowsiness.

DISCLAIMER: The information contained herein should NOT be used as a substitute for the advice of an appropriately qualified and licensed physician or other health care provider.

Can you and your husband switch on and off weekly so you both get a break from the challenging child?

Anonymous wrote:My DD could not tolerate stimulant meds. She was horribly violent. The worst of it stopped when she went on Strattera instead (nonstimulant).

I would definitely look at the meds.

THIS!! I'm convinced some of these meds do more harm than good and exceptions (those not helped) and med interactions have not been adequately studied.

One of my friends pulled her 10 year old son off all meds, got them out of his system, and started again from scratch to effectively treat his severe ADHD without creating an uncontrolled monster.