Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, you haven’t said what your kid’s allergens are, unless I missed it. I’m going to assume they’re tree nuts and peanuts, given the Easter egg context. I’m also going to assume it was a chocolate bunny given the foil wrapped comment you made.

First thing you should teach your kid with nut allergies is to NEVER accept/eat chocolate that isn’t labeled with ingredients. Doesn’t matter if a parent gives it to them or not. No ingredients to read= hard pass. I know it’s hard/sad to see them unable to enjoy like other kids, but I’ve always taught my 14 year old son with nut allergies that no brownie or chocolate is worth having a reaction and that we will get a safe treat later.

It sounds like your kid knew that and refused, so good for her. She carries two epis all the time- good for her.

You know your ex best, but with nut allergies, sweets are really hard, so I wouldn’t necessarily extrapolate that a slip up with chocolate means all food your ex provides is now suspect. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to ever be 100% safe from allergens. There are always food recalls stating undeclared allergens found, etc.

This was the safe treat mom gave her after and she trusted mom when it came to the replacement safe treat and didn't catch it. OP did as he recognized it and stopped her from eating it. Had daughter not called him then, she would have eaten it and more than likely had a reaction. While most on here say who cares - her problem. Some of us can understand (as an adult who had allergies as a child and a mother I couldn't trust to not give me nuts) how this makes daughter feel.

Oh please. The kid wasn't a moment away rom eating it, life hanging in the balance, until she called Daddy who saved her life.

Why do you say that? She was eating through the 'safe' candy, and would have eaten the chocolates next. Dad noticed and stopped her. Had dad not stopped her I am not sure why you think the chocolate wouldn't have caused a serious or even life threatening reaction when she ate it?

Because she stopped and thought about it. This is her life. She knows she has to think before eating "unsafe" things.

Op said he stopped her as he noticed it when talking ot her on the phone and knew it wasn't safe. .

What is this candy dad immediately recognized but kid didn't? I call BS on this story.

Did you read the thread? It was an Easter candy. Dad had seen it in the store but didn't buy it after he checked it and saw it had nuts. Mom gave it to daughter as the safe replacement candy - dad was on the phone and saw it and told her not to eat it. Daughter didn't know it wasn't safe as mom had given to her as a safe replacement for the candy she couldn't eat.

Actually, if you read carefully the OP has avoided stating whether it contained the allergen, was a “may contain” or a “processed on shared equipment”. If you have an allergic kid you know that many allergists advocate a different level of risk tolerance to these different labels, and OP hasn’t said which it was.

For my dangerously allergic child, we allow “shared equipment” or “may contain trace” if we are in our own home (with every level of response available to us and 11 minutes from an ER). Our allergist endorses this approach. So no, we don’t know that this candy was necessarily dangerous.

OP is specifically being vague. It would actually be helpful for OP to share the information for other concerned allergy parents, like "hey PSA, avoid this candy, we almost found out the hard way" that it contains nuts. Curious OP won't do that.

Most people are not concerned at all for daughter. That everyone makes mistakes and its not an issue at all to give your child a safe food that has an allergen in it. So it doesn't seem most feel any need to avoid it. Daughter needs to always check so its all on her. That the only issue is OP being anxious about it and since it isn't anything to be anxious about, he needs therapy.

Most people with highly allergic kids found out their kid was highly allergic after they— the parent— gave them that food. You can accept humans are fallible or you can live with guilt your whole life, the latter isn’t healthy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, you haven’t said what your kid’s allergens are, unless I missed it. I’m going to assume they’re tree nuts and peanuts, given the Easter egg context. I’m also going to assume it was a chocolate bunny given the foil wrapped comment you made.

First thing you should teach your kid with nut allergies is to NEVER accept/eat chocolate that isn’t labeled with ingredients. Doesn’t matter if a parent gives it to them or not. No ingredients to read= hard pass. I know it’s hard/sad to see them unable to enjoy like other kids, but I’ve always taught my 14 year old son with nut allergies that no brownie or chocolate is worth having a reaction and that we will get a safe treat later.

It sounds like your kid knew that and refused, so good for her. She carries two epis all the time- good for her.

You know your ex best, but with nut allergies, sweets are really hard, so I wouldn’t necessarily extrapolate that a slip up with chocolate means all food your ex provides is now suspect. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to ever be 100% safe from allergens. There are always food recalls stating undeclared allergens found, etc.

This was the safe treat mom gave her after and she trusted mom when it came to the replacement safe treat and didn't catch it. OP did as he recognized it and stopped her from eating it. Had daughter not called him then, she would have eaten it and more than likely had a reaction. While most on here say who cares - her problem. Some of us can understand (as an adult who had allergies as a child and a mother I couldn't trust to not give me nuts) how this makes daughter feel.

Oh please. The kid wasn't a moment away rom eating it, life hanging in the balance, until she called Daddy who saved her life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, you haven’t said what your kid’s allergens are, unless I missed it. I’m going to assume they’re tree nuts and peanuts, given the Easter egg context. I’m also going to assume it was a chocolate bunny given the foil wrapped comment you made.

First thing you should teach your kid with nut allergies is to NEVER accept/eat chocolate that isn’t labeled with ingredients. Doesn’t matter if a parent gives it to them or not. No ingredients to read= hard pass. I know it’s hard/sad to see them unable to enjoy like other kids, but I’ve always taught my 14 year old son with nut allergies that no brownie or chocolate is worth having a reaction and that we will get a safe treat later.

It sounds like your kid knew that and refused, so good for her. She carries two epis all the time- good for her.

You know your ex best, but with nut allergies, sweets are really hard, so I wouldn’t necessarily extrapolate that a slip up with chocolate means all food your ex provides is now suspect. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to ever be 100% safe from allergens. There are always food recalls stating undeclared allergens found, etc.

This was the safe treat mom gave her after and she trusted mom when it came to the replacement safe treat and didn't catch it. OP did as he recognized it and stopped her from eating it. Had daughter not called him then, she would have eaten it and more than likely had a reaction. While most on here say who cares - her problem. Some of us can understand (as an adult who had allergies as a child and a mother I couldn't trust to not give me nuts) how this makes daughter feel.

Oh please. The kid wasn't a moment away rom eating it, life hanging in the balance, until she called Daddy who saved her life.

Why do you say that? She was eating through the 'safe' candy, and would have eaten the chocolates next. Dad noticed and stopped her. Had dad not stopped her I am not sure why you think the chocolate wouldn't have caused a serious or even life threatening reaction when she ate it?

Because she stopped and thought about it. This is her life. She knows she has to think before eating "unsafe" things.

Op said he stopped her as he noticed it when talking ot her on the phone and knew it wasn't safe. .

What is this candy dad immediately recognized but kid didn't? I call BS on this story.

Did you read the thread? It was an Easter candy. Dad had seen it in the store but didn't buy it after he checked it and saw it had nuts. Mom gave it to daughter as the safe replacement candy - dad was on the phone and saw it and told her not to eat it. Daughter didn't know it wasn't safe as mom had given to her as a safe replacement for the candy she couldn't eat.

Actually, if you read carefully the OP has avoided stating whether it contained the allergen, was a “may contain” or a “processed on shared equipment”. If you have an allergic kid you know that many allergists advocate a different level of risk tolerance to these different labels, and OP hasn’t said which it was.

For my dangerously allergic child, we allow “shared equipment” or “may contain trace” if we are in our own home (with every level of response available to us and 11 minutes from an ER). Our allergist endorses this approach. So no, we don’t know that this candy was necessarily dangerous.

OP is specifically being vague. It would actually be helpful for OP to share the information for other concerned allergy parents, like "hey PSA, avoid this candy, we almost found out the hard way" that it contains nuts. Curious OP won't do that.

Most people are not concerned at all for daughter. That everyone makes mistakes and its not an issue at all to give your child a safe food that has an allergen in it. So it doesn't seem most feel any need to avoid it. Daughter needs to always check so its all on her. That the only issue is OP being anxious about it and since it isn't anything to be anxious about, he needs therapy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, you haven’t said what your kid’s allergens are, unless I missed it. I’m going to assume they’re tree nuts and peanuts, given the Easter egg context. I’m also going to assume it was a chocolate bunny given the foil wrapped comment you made.

First thing you should teach your kid with nut allergies is to NEVER accept/eat chocolate that isn’t labeled with ingredients. Doesn’t matter if a parent gives it to them or not. No ingredients to read= hard pass. I know it’s hard/sad to see them unable to enjoy like other kids, but I’ve always taught my 14 year old son with nut allergies that no brownie or chocolate is worth having a reaction and that we will get a safe treat later.

It sounds like your kid knew that and refused, so good for her. She carries two epis all the time- good for her.

You know your ex best, but with nut allergies, sweets are really hard, so I wouldn’t necessarily extrapolate that a slip up with chocolate means all food your ex provides is now suspect. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to ever be 100% safe from allergens. There are always food recalls stating undeclared allergens found, etc.

This was the safe treat mom gave her after and she trusted mom when it came to the replacement safe treat and didn't catch it. OP did as he recognized it and stopped her from eating it. Had daughter not called him then, she would have eaten it and more than likely had a reaction. While most on here say who cares - her problem. Some of us can understand (as an adult who had allergies as a child and a mother I couldn't trust to not give me nuts) how this makes daughter feel.

Oh please. The kid wasn't a moment away rom eating it, life hanging in the balance, until she called Daddy who saved her life.

Why do you say that? She was eating through the 'safe' candy, and would have eaten the chocolates next. Dad noticed and stopped her. Had dad not stopped her I am not sure why you think the chocolate wouldn't have caused a serious or even life threatening reaction when she ate it?

Because she stopped and thought about it. This is her life. She knows she has to think before eating "unsafe" things.

Op said he stopped her as he noticed it when talking ot her on the phone and knew it wasn't safe. .

What is this candy dad immediately recognized but kid didn't? I call BS on this story.

Did you read the thread? It was an Easter candy. Dad had seen it in the store but didn't buy it after he checked it and saw it had nuts. Mom gave it to daughter as the safe replacement candy - dad was on the phone and saw it and told her not to eat it. Daughter didn't know it wasn't safe as mom had given to her as a safe replacement for the candy she couldn't eat.

Actually, if you read carefully the OP has avoided stating whether it contained the allergen, was a “may contain” or a “processed on shared equipment”. If you have an allergic kid you know that many allergists advocate a different level of risk tolerance to these different labels, and OP hasn’t said which it was.

For my dangerously allergic child, we allow “shared equipment” or “may contain trace” if we are in our own home (with every level of response available to us and 11 minutes from an ER). Our allergist endorses this approach. So no, we don’t know that this candy was necessarily dangerous.

OP is specifically being vague. It would actually be helpful for OP to share the information for other concerned allergy parents, like "hey PSA, avoid this candy, we almost found out the hard way" that it contains nuts. Curious OP won't do that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, you haven’t said what your kid’s allergens are, unless I missed it. I’m going to assume they’re tree nuts and peanuts, given the Easter egg context. I’m also going to assume it was a chocolate bunny given the foil wrapped comment you made.

First thing you should teach your kid with nut allergies is to NEVER accept/eat chocolate that isn’t labeled with ingredients. Doesn’t matter if a parent gives it to them or not. No ingredients to read= hard pass. I know it’s hard/sad to see them unable to enjoy like other kids, but I’ve always taught my 14 year old son with nut allergies that no brownie or chocolate is worth having a reaction and that we will get a safe treat later.

It sounds like your kid knew that and refused, so good for her. She carries two epis all the time- good for her.

You know your ex best, but with nut allergies, sweets are really hard, so I wouldn’t necessarily extrapolate that a slip up with chocolate means all food your ex provides is now suspect. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to ever be 100% safe from allergens. There are always food recalls stating undeclared allergens found, etc.

This was the safe treat mom gave her after and she trusted mom when it came to the replacement safe treat and didn't catch it. OP did as he recognized it and stopped her from eating it. Had daughter not called him then, she would have eaten it and more than likely had a reaction. While most on here say who cares - her problem. Some of us can understand (as an adult who had allergies as a child and a mother I couldn't trust to not give me nuts) how this makes daughter feel.

Oh please. The kid wasn't a moment away rom eating it, life hanging in the balance, until she called Daddy who saved her life.

Why do you say that? She was eating through the 'safe' candy, and would have eaten the chocolates next. Dad noticed and stopped her. Had dad not stopped her I am not sure why you think the chocolate wouldn't have caused a serious or even life threatening reaction when she ate it?

Because she stopped and thought about it. This is her life. She knows she has to think before eating "unsafe" things.

Op said he stopped her as he noticed it when talking ot her on the phone and knew it wasn't safe. .

What is this candy dad immediately recognized but kid didn't? I call BS on this story.

Did you read the thread? It was an Easter candy. Dad had seen it in the store but didn't buy it after he checked it and saw it had nuts. Mom gave it to daughter as the safe replacement candy - dad was on the phone and saw it and told her not to eat it. Daughter didn't know it wasn't safe as mom had given to her as a safe replacement for the candy she couldn't eat.

Actually, if you read carefully the OP has avoided stating whether it contained the allergen, was a “may contain” or a “processed on shared equipment”. If you have an allergic kid you know that many allergists advocate a different level of risk tolerance to these different labels, and OP hasn’t said which it was.

For my dangerously allergic child, we allow “shared equipment” or “may contain trace” if we are in our own home (with every level of response available to us and 11 minutes from an ER). Our allergist endorses this approach. So no, we don’t know that this candy was necessarily dangerous.

I don't think your child has a very severe allergy if your allergist has told him it isn't dangerous at all for him and he can eat "may contain' or "shared equipment" foods. That is great but for a lot of kids / and adults, they can't eat the may contain or shared equipment food because that too is dangerous. I am sure OP knows his child just like you know yours and had a reason for concern.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It'll happen. You train your kid and really can't account for what other people will do. You won't be able to control everything.

You train your kid that they can’t trust their own parent?

You teach your kid that anyone can make mistakes so they always have to double check.

This is not hard. You guys need to grow up.

This. The kid wears a seatbelt in the car even if the parent is a safe driver right? Because accidents happen?

Excellent analogy.

OP, how did you leap from an accident re: once a year holiday candy to "meals are unsafe?"

You need CBT to manage your anxiety and not conflate.

As a parent of a kid with allergies to 6 of the top 8 foods, I get it is stressful. I'm divorced from someone I have safety concerns about, I get that too. But you need to be able to distinguish an accident that is isolated from ongoing patterns and not come across as hysterically conflating the 2. FC is not your friend and at the level of conflict that 3rd party coordinators suggests, all you can do is manage yourself. Once the FC vendors have their hooks in they will be happy to drain you both dry financially. You need to not play into that, it's not in your kids' interests. Managing anxiety is key, a low dose med might be helpful while you access the CBT techniques.

Re: ex, I found the free NAMI family to family course helpful, perhaps you may, too.

I don’t know what FC or a 3rd party coordinator means in this context. The 3rd party in this context is mom’s parent the kids’ grandparent. Since mom doesn’t talk to me at all, I need someone I can tell that I am sending antibiotics because a kid has an ear infection, and who can tell me when and where to drop off or pick up and what to pack. In this case, since the grandparent was at the celebration, after I talked to my daughter and said “hold off on eating the candy”, I texted grandparent that it needed to be sorted out.

This is part of a bigger pattern. Since separation, there have been multiple incidents including driving while intoxicated with kids in the car.

Talk about burying the lede. DUI? If true you need to get her busted.

Classic troll move, actually.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It'll happen. You train your kid and really can't account for what other people will do. You won't be able to control everything.

You train your kid that they can’t trust their own parent?

You teach your kid that anyone can make mistakes so they always have to double check.

This is not hard. You guys need to grow up.

This. The kid wears a seatbelt in the car even if the parent is a safe driver right? Because accidents happen?

Excellent analogy.

OP, how did you leap from an accident re: once a year holiday candy to "meals are unsafe?"

You need CBT to manage your anxiety and not conflate.

As a parent of a kid with allergies to 6 of the top 8 foods, I get it is stressful. I'm divorced from someone I have safety concerns about, I get that too. But you need to be able to distinguish an accident that is isolated from ongoing patterns and not come across as hysterically conflating the 2. FC is not your friend and at the level of conflict that 3rd party coordinators suggests, all you can do is manage yourself. Once the FC vendors have their hooks in they will be happy to drain you both dry financially. You need to not play into that, it's not in your kids' interests. Managing anxiety is key, a low dose med might be helpful while you access the CBT techniques.

Re: ex, I found the free NAMI family to family course helpful, perhaps you may, too.

I don’t know what FC or a 3rd party coordinator means in this context. The 3rd party in this context is mom’s parent the kids’ grandparent. Since mom doesn’t talk to me at all, I need someone I can tell that I am sending antibiotics because a kid has an ear infection, and who can tell me when and where to drop off or pick up and what to pack. In this case, since the grandparent was at the celebration, after I talked to my daughter and said “hold off on eating the candy”, I texted grandparent that it needed to be sorted out.

This is part of a bigger pattern. Since separation, there have been multiple incidents including driving while intoxicated with kids in the car.

Talk about burying the lede. DUI? If true you need to get her busted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, you haven’t said what your kid’s allergens are, unless I missed it. I’m going to assume they’re tree nuts and peanuts, given the Easter egg context. I’m also going to assume it was a chocolate bunny given the foil wrapped comment you made.

First thing you should teach your kid with nut allergies is to NEVER accept/eat chocolate that isn’t labeled with ingredients. Doesn’t matter if a parent gives it to them or not. No ingredients to read= hard pass. I know it’s hard/sad to see them unable to enjoy like other kids, but I’ve always taught my 14 year old son with nut allergies that no brownie or chocolate is worth having a reaction and that we will get a safe treat later.

It sounds like your kid knew that and refused, so good for her. She carries two epis all the time- good for her.

You know your ex best, but with nut allergies, sweets are really hard, so I wouldn’t necessarily extrapolate that a slip up with chocolate means all food your ex provides is now suspect. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to ever be 100% safe from allergens. There are always food recalls stating undeclared allergens found, etc.

This was the safe treat mom gave her after and she trusted mom when it came to the replacement safe treat and didn't catch it. OP did as he recognized it and stopped her from eating it. Had daughter not called him then, she would have eaten it and more than likely had a reaction. While most on here say who cares - her problem. Some of us can understand (as an adult who had allergies as a child and a mother I couldn't trust to not give me nuts) how this makes daughter feel.

Oh please. The kid wasn't a moment away rom eating it, life hanging in the balance, until she called Daddy who saved her life.

Why do you say that? She was eating through the 'safe' candy, and would have eaten the chocolates next. Dad noticed and stopped her. Had dad not stopped her I am not sure why you think the chocolate wouldn't have caused a serious or even life threatening reaction when she ate it?

Because she stopped and thought about it. This is her life. She knows she has to think before eating "unsafe" things.

Op said he stopped her as he noticed it when talking ot her on the phone and knew it wasn't safe. .

What is this candy dad immediately recognized but kid didn't? I call BS on this story.

Did you read the thread? It was an Easter candy. Dad had seen it in the store but didn't buy it after he checked it and saw it had nuts. Mom gave it to daughter as the safe replacement candy - dad was on the phone and saw it and told her not to eat it. Daughter didn't know it wasn't safe as mom had given to her as a safe replacement for the candy she couldn't eat.

Actually, if you read carefully the OP has avoided stating whether it contained the allergen, was a “may contain” or a “processed on shared equipment”. If you have an allergic kid you know that many allergists advocate a different level of risk tolerance to these different labels, and OP hasn’t said which it was.

For my dangerously allergic child, we allow “shared equipment” or “may contain trace” if we are in our own home (with every level of response available to us and 11 minutes from an ER). Our allergist endorses this approach. So no, we don’t know that this candy was necessarily dangerous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, you haven’t said what your kid’s allergens are, unless I missed it. I’m going to assume they’re tree nuts and peanuts, given the Easter egg context. I’m also going to assume it was a chocolate bunny given the foil wrapped comment you made.

First thing you should teach your kid with nut allergies is to NEVER accept/eat chocolate that isn’t labeled with ingredients. Doesn’t matter if a parent gives it to them or not. No ingredients to read= hard pass. I know it’s hard/sad to see them unable to enjoy like other kids, but I’ve always taught my 14 year old son with nut allergies that no brownie or chocolate is worth having a reaction and that we will get a safe treat later.

It sounds like your kid knew that and refused, so good for her. She carries two epis all the time- good for her.

You know your ex best, but with nut allergies, sweets are really hard, so I wouldn’t necessarily extrapolate that a slip up with chocolate means all food your ex provides is now suspect. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to ever be 100% safe from allergens. There are always food recalls stating undeclared allergens found, etc.

This was the safe treat mom gave her after and she trusted mom when it came to the replacement safe treat and didn't catch it. OP did as he recognized it and stopped her from eating it. Had daughter not called him then, she would have eaten it and more than likely had a reaction. While most on here say who cares - her problem. Some of us can understand (as an adult who had allergies as a child and a mother I couldn't trust to not give me nuts) how this makes daughter feel.

Oh please. The kid wasn't a moment away rom eating it, life hanging in the balance, until she called Daddy who saved her life.

Why do you say that? She was eating through the 'safe' candy, and would have eaten the chocolates next. Dad noticed and stopped her. Had dad not stopped her I am not sure why you think the chocolate wouldn't have caused a serious or even life threatening reaction when she ate it?

Because she stopped and thought about it. This is her life. She knows she has to think before eating "unsafe" things.

Op said he stopped her as he noticed it when talking ot her on the phone and knew it wasn't safe. .

What is this candy dad immediately recognized but kid didn't? I call BS on this story.

Did you read the thread? It was an Easter candy. Dad had seen it in the store but didn't buy it after he checked it and saw it had nuts. Mom gave it to daughter as the safe replacement candy - dad was on the phone and saw it and told her not to eat it. Daughter didn't know it wasn't safe as mom had given to her as a safe replacement for the candy she couldn't eat.

Actually, if you read carefully the OP has avoided stating whether it contained the allergen, was a “may contain” or a “processed on shared equipment”. If you have an allergic kid you know that many allergists advocate a different level of risk tolerance to these different labels, and OP hasn’t said which it was.

For my dangerously allergic child, we allow “shared equipment” or “may contain trace” if we are in our own home (with every level of response available to us and 11 minutes from an ER). Our allergist endorses this approach. So no, we don’t know that this candy was necessarily dangerous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It'll happen. You train your kid and really can't account for what other people will do. You won't be able to control everything.

You train your kid that they can’t trust their own parent?

You teach your kid that anyone can make mistakes so they always have to double check.

This is not hard. You guys need to grow up.

This. The kid wears a seatbelt in the car even if the parent is a safe driver right? Because accidents happen?

Excellent analogy.

OP, how did you leap from an accident re: once a year holiday candy to "meals are unsafe?"

You need CBT to manage your anxiety and not conflate.

As a parent of a kid with allergies to 6 of the top 8 foods, I get it is stressful. I'm divorced from someone I have safety concerns about, I get that too. But you need to be able to distinguish an accident that is isolated from ongoing patterns and not come across as hysterically conflating the 2. FC is not your friend and at the level of conflict that 3rd party coordinators suggests, all you can do is manage yourself. Once the FC vendors have their hooks in they will be happy to drain you both dry financially. You need to not play into that, it's not in your kids' interests. Managing anxiety is key, a low dose med might be helpful while you access the CBT techniques.

Re: ex, I found the free NAMI family to family course helpful, perhaps you may, too.

I don’t know what FC or a 3rd party coordinator means in this context. The 3rd party in this context is mom’s parent the kids’ grandparent. Since mom doesn’t talk to me at all, I need someone I can tell that I am sending antibiotics because a kid has an ear infection, and who can tell me when and where to drop off or pick up and what to pack. In this case, since the grandparent was at the celebration, after I talked to my daughter and said “hold off on eating the candy”, I texted grandparent that it needed to be sorted out.

This is part of a bigger pattern. Since separation, there have been multiple incidents including driving while intoxicated with kids in the car.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, you haven’t said what your kid’s allergens are, unless I missed it. I’m going to assume they’re tree nuts and peanuts, given the Easter egg context. I’m also going to assume it was a chocolate bunny given the foil wrapped comment you made.

First thing you should teach your kid with nut allergies is to NEVER accept/eat chocolate that isn’t labeled with ingredients. Doesn’t matter if a parent gives it to them or not. No ingredients to read= hard pass. I know it’s hard/sad to see them unable to enjoy like other kids, but I’ve always taught my 14 year old son with nut allergies that no brownie or chocolate is worth having a reaction and that we will get a safe treat later.

It sounds like your kid knew that and refused, so good for her. She carries two epis all the time- good for her.

You know your ex best, but with nut allergies, sweets are really hard, so I wouldn’t necessarily extrapolate that a slip up with chocolate means all food your ex provides is now suspect. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to ever be 100% safe from allergens. There are always food recalls stating undeclared allergens found, etc.

This was the safe treat mom gave her after and she trusted mom when it came to the replacement safe treat and didn't catch it. OP did as he recognized it and stopped her from eating it. Had daughter not called him then, she would have eaten it and more than likely had a reaction. While most on here say who cares - her problem. Some of us can understand (as an adult who had allergies as a child and a mother I couldn't trust to not give me nuts) how this makes daughter feel.

Oh please. The kid wasn't a moment away rom eating it, life hanging in the balance, until she called Daddy who saved her life.

Why do you say that? She was eating through the 'safe' candy, and would have eaten the chocolates next. Dad noticed and stopped her. Had dad not stopped her I am not sure why you think the chocolate wouldn't have caused a serious or even life threatening reaction when she ate it?

Because she stopped and thought about it. This is her life. She knows she has to think before eating "unsafe" things.

Op said he stopped her as he noticed it when talking ot her on the phone and knew it wasn't safe. .

What is this candy dad immediately recognized but kid didn't? I call BS on this story.

Did you read the thread? It was an Easter candy. Dad had seen it in the store but didn't buy it after he checked it and saw it had nuts. Mom gave it to daughter as the safe replacement candy - dad was on the phone and saw it and told her not to eat it. Daughter didn't know it wasn't safe as mom had given to her as a safe replacement for the candy she couldn't eat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It'll happen. You train your kid and really can't account for what other people will do. You won't be able to control everything.

You train your kid that they can’t trust their own parent?

You teach your kid that anyone can make mistakes so they always have to double check.

This is not hard. You guys need to grow up.

This. The kid wears a seatbelt in the car even if the parent is a safe driver right? Because accidents happen?

Excellent analogy.

OP, how did you leap from an accident re: once a year holiday candy to "meals are unsafe?"

You need CBT to manage your anxiety and not conflate.

As a parent of a kid with allergies to 6 of the top 8 foods, I get it is stressful. I'm divorced from someone I have safety concerns about, I get that too. But you need to be able to distinguish an accident that is isolated from ongoing patterns and not come across as hysterically conflating the 2. FC is not your friend and at the level of conflict that 3rd party coordinators suggests, all you can do is manage yourself. Once the FC vendors have their hooks in they will be happy to drain you both dry financially. You need to not play into that, it's not in your kids' interests. Managing anxiety is key, a low dose med might be helpful while you access the CBT techniques.

Re: ex, I found the free NAMI family to family course helpful, perhaps you may, too.

I don’t know what FC or a 3rd party coordinator means in this context. The 3rd party in this context is mom’s parent the kids’ grandparent. Since mom doesn’t talk to me at all, I need someone I can tell that I am sending antibiotics because a kid has an ear infection, and who can tell me when and where to drop off or pick up and what to pack. In this case, since the grandparent was at the celebration, after I talked to my daughter and said “hold off on eating the candy”, I texted grandparent that it needed to be sorted out.

This is part of a bigger pattern. Since separation, there have been multiple incidents including driving while intoxicated with kids in the car.

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Anonymous wrote:Ok, you haven’t said what your kid’s allergens are, unless I missed it. I’m going to assume they’re tree nuts and peanuts, given the Easter egg context. I’m also going to assume it was a chocolate bunny given the foil wrapped comment you made.

First thing you should teach your kid with nut allergies is to NEVER accept/eat chocolate that isn’t labeled with ingredients. Doesn’t matter if a parent gives it to them or not. No ingredients to read= hard pass. I know it’s hard/sad to see them unable to enjoy like other kids, but I’ve always taught my 14 year old son with nut allergies that no brownie or chocolate is worth having a reaction and that we will get a safe treat later.

It sounds like your kid knew that and refused, so good for her. She carries two epis all the time- good for her.

You know your ex best, but with nut allergies, sweets are really hard, so I wouldn’t necessarily extrapolate that a slip up with chocolate means all food your ex provides is now suspect. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to ever be 100% safe from allergens. There are always food recalls stating undeclared allergens found, etc.

This was the safe treat mom gave her after and she trusted mom when it came to the replacement safe treat and didn't catch it. OP did as he recognized it and stopped her from eating it. Had daughter not called him then, she would have eaten it and more than likely had a reaction. While most on here say who cares - her problem. Some of us can understand (as an adult who had allergies as a child and a mother I couldn't trust to not give me nuts) how this makes daughter feel.

Oh please. The kid wasn't a moment away rom eating it, life hanging in the balance, until she called Daddy who saved her life.

Why do you say that? She was eating through the 'safe' candy, and would have eaten the chocolates next. Dad noticed and stopped her. Had dad not stopped her I am not sure why you think the chocolate wouldn't have caused a serious or even life threatening reaction when she ate it?

Because she stopped and thought about it. This is her life. She knows she has to think before eating "unsafe" things.

Op said he stopped her as he noticed it when talking ot her on the phone and knew it wasn't safe. .

What is this candy dad immediately recognized but kid didn't? I call BS on this story.

Did you read the thread? It was an Easter candy. Dad had seen it in the store but didn't buy it after he checked it and saw it had nuts. Mom gave it to daughter as the safe replacement candy - dad was on the phone and saw it and told her not to eat it. Daughter didn't know it wasn't safe as mom had given to her as a safe replacement for the candy she couldn't eat.

Yep, read the story. The Easter candy at the store is the same candy at Valentine's Day, Halloween, etc. Again, what is this brand new candy?

CVS and Target have entire aisles of candy bunnies and eggs. How can you not have noticed?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, you haven’t said what your kid’s allergens are, unless I missed it. I’m going to assume they’re tree nuts and peanuts, given the Easter egg context. I’m also going to assume it was a chocolate bunny given the foil wrapped comment you made.

First thing you should teach your kid with nut allergies is to NEVER accept/eat chocolate that isn’t labeled with ingredients. Doesn’t matter if a parent gives it to them or not. No ingredients to read= hard pass. I know it’s hard/sad to see them unable to enjoy like other kids, but I’ve always taught my 14 year old son with nut allergies that no brownie or chocolate is worth having a reaction and that we will get a safe treat later.

It sounds like your kid knew that and refused, so good for her. She carries two epis all the time- good for her.

You know your ex best, but with nut allergies, sweets are really hard, so I wouldn’t necessarily extrapolate that a slip up with chocolate means all food your ex provides is now suspect. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to ever be 100% safe from allergens. There are always food recalls stating undeclared allergens found, etc.

This was the safe treat mom gave her after and she trusted mom when it came to the replacement safe treat and didn't catch it. OP did as he recognized it and stopped her from eating it. Had daughter not called him then, she would have eaten it and more than likely had a reaction. While most on here say who cares - her problem. Some of us can understand (as an adult who had allergies as a child and a mother I couldn't trust to not give me nuts) how this makes daughter feel.

Oh please. The kid wasn't a moment away rom eating it, life hanging in the balance, until she called Daddy who saved her life.

Why do you say that? She was eating through the 'safe' candy, and would have eaten the chocolates next. Dad noticed and stopped her. Had dad not stopped her I am not sure why you think the chocolate wouldn't have caused a serious or even life threatening reaction when she ate it?

Because she stopped and thought about it. This is her life. She knows she has to think before eating "unsafe" things.

Op said he stopped her as he noticed it when talking ot her on the phone and knew it wasn't safe. .

What is this candy dad immediately recognized but kid didn't? I call BS on this story.

Did you read the thread? It was an Easter candy. Dad had seen it in the store but didn't buy it after he checked it and saw it had nuts. Mom gave it to daughter as the safe replacement candy - dad was on the phone and saw it and told her not to eat it. Daughter didn't know it wasn't safe as mom had given to her as a safe replacement for the candy she couldn't eat.

Yep, read the story. The Easter candy at the store is the same candy at Valentine's Day, Halloween, etc. Again, what is this brand new candy?