Anonymous wrote:My parents back in 1979 took me aside and said I can any college I want and money is no object.
They then added that’s be cause they are not paying for it and that includes cost of college applications or SATs.
They then added they are forbidding me from taking student loans, I had to attend college full time or I was being kicked out of house after HS.
My parents had four kids, all four grad degrees, all four did it no loans.
Today parents are too involved,
Anonymous wrote:Visiting Yale and Princeton even though we knew getting into either is a lottery. We wanted inspire but instead it led to heartbreak.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How ‘bout this - let your kids drive the bus, let them make the decisions, no paid college consultants, help them ONLY WHEN ASKED, celebrate each of their acceptances, and revel in the fact that your kids got in on their own terms.
I agree. My DD was calm throughout the entire process. She selected 7 reasonable schools, mostly OOS flagships, and got into all 7 with merit. I was the one panicking the entire time, primarily because I read sites like this. I should have followed her lead.
She’s a very good student, but definitely had her share of Bs. She had a good SAT score, but not super competitive. DCUM would say she was destined to go to some 3rd tier campus. DCUM would have been wrong.
Anonymous wrote:How ‘bout this - let your kids drive the bus, let them make the decisions, no paid college consultants, help them ONLY WHEN ASKED, celebrate each of their acceptances, and revel in the fact that your kids got in on their own terms.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I went to Princeton last century and I'm sure I thought my education was pretty special - at the time. But by the time I was in my late 20s, it was clear that it wasn't special, and that there were plenty of people who came out of MI and Indiana and UCLA who were every bit as smart, educated, and had plenty of connections. Plus had soft skills and sales skills I probably lacked.
So I knew this, but the soup we were living in put so much value on "prestige" schools it was very hard to push past it.
I think I wish I would have sent my kids to those derided "pay to play" summer things freshman and sophomore years. Find out Syracuse and UCLA are really pretty nice fun of bright kids, and compare favorable to Georgetown etc
Wow, it's getting wild in here with Indiana and Syracuse in the same breath as UCLA!
UCLA had a 70% acceptance rate in the 90s
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I went to Princeton last century and I'm sure I thought my education was pretty special - at the time. But by the time I was in my late 20s, it was clear that it wasn't special, and that there were plenty of people who came out of MI and Indiana and UCLA who were every bit as smart, educated, and had plenty of connections. Plus had soft skills and sales skills I probably lacked.
So I knew this, but the soup we were living in put so much value on "prestige" schools it was very hard to push past it.
I think I wish I would have sent my kids to those derided "pay to play" summer things freshman and sophomore years. Find out Syracuse and UCLA are really pretty nice fun of bright kids, and compare favorable to Georgetown etc
Wow, it's getting wild in here with Indiana and Syracuse in the same breath as UCLA!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Research how majors are admitted at each school. An easy admit for undecided can be an almost impossible CS or business admit (for example- Penn State had around 5% admit for business this year)!
We were very ignorant about the small details like these and wish we had researched them before applying.
Unfortunately, as you found out, those are not small details.
Anonymous wrote:Don’t believe what people tell you anonymously, there is zero reputational risk if they are wrong and zero penalty for lying or mischief-making.
If they can’t provide a link to a publicly stated policy, text, or data point treat it as bullshit.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is foolish. College is a significant financial investment. Would you let your 17-18yr old pick their own stocks? I think some parents are too involved but these kids need guidance to understand the current landscape.How ‘bout this - let your kids drive the bus, let them make the decisions, no paid college consultants, help them ONLY WHEN ASKED, celebrate each of their acceptances, and revel in the fact that your kids got in on their own terms.
Not foolish at all. Did this with my 17yo (she started early so she’s a bit younger than her classmates) and she has three schools she’s choosing from and she loves each one - will be a tough decision. We didn’t interfere (she wouldn’t even let us read her essays - we said we were available to proofread but she declined), didn’t have any input into her class schedule (she chose her own classes every single year), no college counselor, and we are extremely proud of every school she got into. Because we didn’t need to pay anyone to help her out.
No offense but . . . . I dgaf what you did. You can trust others to do what they think is best for their own kids, in return.
Well, that changes the landscape for everyone else when you’re paying for tutors that others can’t afford, and basically doing the apps for your kid. It’s no longer your kids achievement, it’s yours. So that’s why you should GAF. But since you’re only concerned with yourself, you won’t.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is foolish. College is a significant financial investment. Would you let your 17-18yr old pick their own stocks? I think some parents are too involved but these kids need guidance to understand the current landscape.How ‘bout this - let your kids drive the bus, let them make the decisions, no paid college consultants, help them ONLY WHEN ASKED, celebrate each of their acceptances, and revel in the fact that your kids got in on their own terms.
Not foolish at all. Did this with my 17yo (she started early so she’s a bit younger than her classmates) and she has three schools she’s choosing from and she loves each one - will be a tough decision. We didn’t interfere (she wouldn’t even let us read her essays - we said we were available to proofread but she declined), didn’t have any input into her class schedule (she chose her own classes every single year), no college counselor, and we are extremely proud of every school she got into. Because we didn’t need to pay anyone to help her out.
No offense but . . . . I dgaf what you did. You can trust others to do what they think is best for their own kids, in return.
Anonymous wrote:I went to Princeton last century and I'm sure I thought my education was pretty special - at the time. But by the time I was in my late 20s, it was clear that it wasn't special, and that there were plenty of people who came out of MI and Indiana and UCLA who were every bit as smart, educated, and had plenty of connections. Plus had soft skills and sales skills I probably lacked.
So I knew this, but the soup we were living in put so much value on "prestige" schools it was very hard to push past it.
I think I wish I would have sent my kids to those derided "pay to play" summer things freshman and sophomore years. Find out Syracuse and UCLA are really pretty nice fun of bright kids, and compare favorable to Georgetown etc