Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of why it's gotten so insanely expensive to go to many colleges is because families that are UMC are expected to shoulder not just the cost of their own kid attending but all the kids that are attending for free or at low rates. I want those kids to go to college too but that should be funded from either government money or endowments not jacking up tuition on other families struggling to pay for school too.

💯

That’s the big secret of the schools that no one talks about. Who is really funding all of the need blind awards. It’s not the endowments. And it’s def not the government.

It’s the fact that tuition goes up every year and insane amount and families with over $300,000 in income are expected to be full pay. That is robbery from one group to satisfy the other.

Another +1

TO me the bigger issue is merit aid that takes away from the pot of money for financial need. If all that emrit aid went into the financial need jar, the income level you need to have to qualify for need based aid would be higher.

My nieces and nephews and cousins got 20 to 30k in merit aid for tons of schools. These are very well off kids whose parents can absolutely afford to be full pay. I'd rather see that money go to middle class kids, not kids whose parents make half a million a year.

Anonymous wrote:A tiny subset of people think it's smart and shows "value" by saving for 18 years - skipping out on taking kids to see London or having an apartment with a third bedroom - so you can blow it all for 4 years of Vassar. Just so that kid can then grow up to save and scrimp for 18 years in their 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment with 1.4 kids

Most Americans making 250k feel fine about having a 4th kid, putting in a pool, buying that Serena and Lilly patio set, going to see the World Cup, sending their parents on a cruise, buying their 18 year old a car, throwing a big wedding, writing a check for kid's downpayment and generally enjoying life. Sure, their kids go to U of Illinois or Wisconsin. Guess what? They have a ball and then get the same jobs as our kids.

DCUM is home to that first tiny subset. Most Americans do not find this life at all aspirational.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, it's ridiculous. Send your kid to a decent public school - there are plenty of them.

Most likely what we are doing- W&M or UVA

I just read all these people fighting over prestige and it’s crazy. My kid got into many of these schools they are raving about, but not worth the $.

Has your child been accepted to either of those schools? Not an easy get. Also - some kids are not a good fit for huge state schools. So - why do you care how others spend their money?

My DC has been accepted in state to w&m. The estimated cost for in state is $43k. Insane!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s not donut hole. That’s a comfortable family. The rest of our kids go to state schools.

But not really. The whole reason people talk about a donut hole is that extraordinary kids from lower middle class families (up to $85k, which is 55th percentile HHI) go to elite private universities for free, and extraordinary kids from true middle class families (up to $150k, which is 80th percentile HHI) go for $15k or less. Those kids are not going to state schools. They’re going to elite private schools, because for them it’s cheaper than going to state schools.

The vast majority of kids from families making 150K or less are NOT attending elite private schools. They are going to their state U or whatever 4 year is local to them so they can live at home, work and attend school. Or they start at CC and transfer for last 2 years to make it affordable. That is the reality. Sure if you get into an elite school you will get FA, but it's not even on the radar for most kids from households below $100-150K.

Mine (same hhi) applied to a variety and got need aid from elites and mid tier (where we thought she would just get merit). And state schools. So went for the elites for aid and state for list price and some mids with hope for merit and pleasantly surprised with some need aid at schools where we didn't expect it. Wide variety of coas though. Dartmouth way cheaper than Drexel. But WPI surprising with mix and Wes very generous need (better than Dartmouth). It's a blend of working NPCs, scanning threads for merit reports, adding some definitely affordable schools and hoping for the best.

Anonymous wrote:A tiny subset of people think it's smart and shows "value" by saving for 18 years - skipping out on taking kids to see London or having an apartment with a third bedroom - so you can blow it all for 4 years of Vassar. Just so that kid can then grow up to save and scrimp for 18 years in their 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment with 1.4 kids

Most Americans making 250k feel fine about having a 4th kid, putting in a pool, buying that Serena and Lilly patio set, going to see the World Cup, sending their parents on a cruise, buying their 18 year old a car, throwing a big wedding, writing a check for kid's downpayment and generally enjoying life. Sure, their kids go to U of Illinois or Wisconsin. Guess what? They have a ball and then get the same jobs as our kids.

DCUM is home to that first tiny subset. Most Americans do not find this life at all aspirational.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s not donut hole. That’s a comfortable family. The rest of our kids go to state schools.

This. If you have sticker shock, but the ability to pay you aren't really a donut hole.

Ability to pay is often at the cost of liquidating retirement funds, home equity, life style and nursing home savings.

Shouldn't be. The top schools have excellent need based FA. Many who would be a fafsa doughnut hole would get FA. To be paying full price means, you are well off in earnings and non-retirement assets. Even home equity is often capped (not 2nd or 3rd home of course).

The real problem is failing to save. No one should expect to cashflow college. We started saving when kids in elementary and thought we were late to the game.

Bullsh. First of all, by the time you get to college aged kids, you may be making the most salary you've made. But almost no one makes that their entire career. We saved and save a LOT. We have old cars. No second home. No generational wealth. We have good retirement. Those are the things we've funded: college and retirement.

But all of those things are counted against us, as if we can cashflow $50-90k/year. We can't. And we aren't getting aid. We've made our peace with the schools are high stats kid can go (based on finances) and have had to forego much better schools b/c of money. It should not be this way.

I get that those of you not as well off like to dump on higher earners (UMC) to make yourselves feel better. But we've done everything right. Both coming from just above poverty line upbringings. The "American Dream" of work hard and good things flow from that is a bunch of horse sh-- when it comes to college admissions and sending your kids to the best school. The very wealthy get that opportunity. The poor get that opportunity. No one else.

You live under your means, you save starting at birth and when your income increases you save it vs changing your spending.

Will you be repeating this same ridiculous, tone-deaf message when the cost of elite schools exceeds $100K/year? $200K? Just save, sacrifice, drive an old car?

At what point in your view is it just not possible for donut hole families?

And why is this ok again?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s not donut hole. That’s a comfortable family. The rest of our kids go to state schools.

This. If you have sticker shock, but the ability to pay you aren't really a donut hole.

eh, no. Georgetown thinks we're full pay with two kids. They assume we'd remortgage our apartment to do that. I guess that means we have the abilty to pay .. but most people think it's donut hole. No FA. Not paying 800 for two kids out of cash flow and savings without major recalibration of entire life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s not donut hole. That’s a comfortable family. The rest of our kids go to state schools.

This. If you have sticker shock, but the ability to pay you aren't really a donut hole.

Ability to pay is often at the cost of liquidating retirement funds, home equity, life style and nursing home savings.

Shouldn't be. The top schools have excellent need based FA. Many who would be a fafsa doughnut hole would get FA. To be paying full price means, you are well off in earnings and non-retirement assets. Even home equity is often capped (not 2nd or 3rd home of course).

The real problem is failing to save. No one should expect to cashflow college. We started saving when kids in elementary and thought we were late to the game.

Bullsh. First of all, by the time you get to college aged kids, you may be making the most salary you've made. But almost no one makes that their entire career. We saved and save a LOT. We have old cars. No second home. No generational wealth. We have good retirement. Those are the things we've funded: college and retirement.

But all of those things are counted against us, as if we can cashflow $50-90k/year. We can't. And we aren't getting aid. We've made our peace with the schools are high stats kid can go (based on finances) and have had to forego much better schools b/c of money. It should not be this way.

I get that those of you not as well off like to dump on higher earners (UMC) to make yourselves feel better. But we've done everything right. Both coming from just above poverty line upbringings. The "American Dream" of work hard and good things flow from that is a bunch of horse sh-- when it comes to college admissions and sending your kids to the best school. The very wealthy get that opportunity. The poor get that opportunity. No one else.

You live under your means, you save starting at birth and when your income increases you save it vs changing your spending.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, it's ridiculous. Send your kid to a decent public school - there are plenty of them.

Most likely what we are doing- W&M or UVA

I just read all these people fighting over prestige and it’s crazy. My kid got into many of these schools they are raving about, but not worth the $.

Has your child been accepted to either of those schools? Not an easy get. Also - some kids are not a good fit for huge state schools. So - why do you care how others spend their money?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, it's ridiculous. Send your kid to a decent public school - there are plenty of them.

Most likely what we are doing- W&M or UVA

I just read all these people fighting over prestige and it’s crazy. My kid got into many of these schools they are raving about, but not worth the $.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of why it's gotten so insanely expensive to go to many colleges is because families that are UMC are expected to shoulder not just the cost of their own kid attending but all the kids that are attending for free or at low rates. I want those kids to go to college too but that should be funded from either government money or endowments not jacking up tuition on other families struggling to pay for school too.

💯

That’s the big secret of the schools that no one talks about. Who is really funding all of the need blind awards. It’s not the endowments. And it’s def not the government.

It’s the fact that tuition goes up every year and insane amount and families with over $300,000 in income are expected to be full pay. That is robbery from one group to satisfy the other.

Another +1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of why it's gotten so insanely expensive to go to many colleges is because families that are UMC are expected to shoulder not just the cost of their own kid attending but all the kids that are attending for free or at low rates. I want those kids to go to college too but that should be funded from either government money or endowments not jacking up tuition on other families struggling to pay for school too.

💯

That’s the big secret of the schools that no one talks about. Who is really funding all of the need blind awards. It’s not the endowments. And it’s def not the government.

It’s the fact that tuition goes up every year and insane amount and families with over $300,000 in income are expected to be full pay. That is robbery from one group to satisfy the other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, it's ridiculous. Send your kid to a decent public school - there are plenty of them.

Most likely what we are doing- W&M or UVA

I just read all these people fighting over prestige and it’s crazy. My kid got into many of these schools they are raving about, but not worth the $.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s not donut hole. That’s a comfortable family. The rest of our kids go to state schools.

This. If you have sticker shock, but the ability to pay you aren't really a donut hole.