Anonymous
02/29/2024 16:00
Subject: Two entrees?
We are talking $12-$35 per dinner a few times a year, for 8 pages?! You people are nuts
Anonymous
02/29/2024 15:57
Subject: Two entrees?
OP, ignore the poster telling you that you have food issues. You have perfectly reasonable expectations of what a normal person should eat.
This thread is such a perfect metaphor for the boomer generation. Hoarding to their own detriment and not giving an eff about the younger generations. And yes, I see eating copious amounts of food as a form of hoarding.
This thread is such a perfect metaphor for the boomer generation. Hoarding to their own detriment and not giving an eff about the younger generations. And yes, I see eating copious amounts of food as a form of hoarding.
Anonymous
02/29/2024 15:45
Subject: Re:Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have your own food issues as well OP.
Sure! I hate wasted food and I hate people who eat more than 2-3 helpings when it isn’t a celebration. If it’s just a regular Saturday no one needs the chicken parm and the hamburger plus a side salad plus the calimari and wash that down with the monster sundae. No one needs to eat that much! And if you do choose to eat that much, fine but I don’t want to pay for it (especially since the dinner conversation was just listening to a lecture/rant). I don’t live very extravagantly so maybe that’s another psychological issue.
But you said he eats it all, so where’s the waste? You are fixated on what you see at gluttony and greed around food. Time to work on your own food issues, OP.
Stop. There’s no serious dispute that the FIL had serious food issues, call it food insecurity/gluttong/ whatever. Stop gaslighting the OP into thinking she’s the one with the food issues. No one their right mind acts like the FIL (orders 2 entrees for himself, orders extra entrees to go, hogs meat at the table, monitors everyone else’s food intake).
No one is gaslighting OP! OP and her FIL both have food issues. If OP did not have food issues, her FIL's food issues would not be so wildly triggering for her. Time to get a grip on her own issues so she cope better around him and not seethe and perseverate over something that barely impacts her.
This. “I hate people who eat more than 2-3 helpings when it isn’t a celebration”. OP is monitoring other people’s food consumption as closely as her father-in-law is.
OP, you know that your FIL has food issues. Either set up the circumstances so as to make it impossible for him to overeat or accept that he is going to overeat.
The pie thing would bother me too because of the kids, but the solution to that is to plate before you bring to the table. From the kitchen, you yell “who wants pie?” And start cutting up and sending out the little plates. We generally do that just because it’s a bit easier to manage in the kitchen with drips, etc.. but it would solve your problem. Don’t put him in the situation where his demons control the size of the serving.
Maybe I have food issues, but if you think 4 servings of food is normal, I will respectfully note that you might as well. And no I’m not monitoring anyone’s food intake, except when someone takes almost all of everything and others go hungry. So yes I noticed when my father in law ate almost every single slice of the cold cuts and I ended up with a cheese sandwich so that my kids could have two slices each. That’s what I’m talking about.
Anonymous
02/29/2024 15:42
Subject: Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:Calmly accept it and choose cheaper places if paying for the extra entrée and appetizer are outside your budget. It’s not up to you to regulate how much he eats or what he orders. It is up to you to decide where you go for dinner and if you eat out at all.
Dad has food issues big time, but I think OP does as well. Adults don’t tell other adults how much to eat.
Do you really not think it’s bizarre and rude to upfront order two entrees? This is how it goes:
Dh: hi I’ll take the burger, medium well thanks
Me: hi I’ll take the chicken wrap, fries on the side, thank you.
Kids: we will both have the chicken tenders, with fries. Thanks.
FIL: Everything looks so delicious. To begin I’ll have the calamari. Then I’ll have the chefs salad. Then as an entree I’ll take the burger with a side of sweet potato fries, yes the extra cost is fine. I’ll also have the chicken pasta as well with the soup of the day. And please don’t forget to come back for dessert!
At this juncture, sometimes my husband will say like “you sure you need two entrees dad?” He will say I’m just so hungry for everything we did earlier and having such a great day!! And no he won’t change his order.
I’m thinking the only way we could get him to stop is to say, we have tons back home- any way we can get you to get one entree and have a snack at home? He might still say no.
Anonymous
02/29/2024 15:38
Subject: Re:Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have your own food issues as well OP.
Sure! I hate wasted food and I hate people who eat more than 2-3 helpings when it isn’t a celebration. If it’s just a regular Saturday no one needs the chicken parm and the hamburger plus a side salad plus the calimari and wash that down with the monster sundae. No one needs to eat that much! And if you do choose to eat that much, fine but I don’t want to pay for it (especially since the dinner conversation was just listening to a lecture/rant). I don’t live very extravagantly so maybe that’s another psychological issue.
But you said he eats it all, so where’s the waste? You are fixated on what you see at gluttony and greed around food. Time to work on your own food issues, OP.
Stop. There’s no serious dispute that the FIL had serious food issues, call it food insecurity/gluttong/ whatever. Stop gaslighting the OP into thinking she’s the one with the food issues. No one their right mind acts like the FIL (orders 2 entrees for himself, orders extra entrees to go, hogs meat at the table, monitors everyone else’s food intake).
No one is gaslighting OP! OP and her FIL both have food issues. If OP did not have food issues, her FIL's food issues would not be so wildly triggering for her. Time to get a grip on her own issues so she cope better around him and not seethe and perseverate over something that barely impacts her.
This. “I hate people who eat more than 2-3 helpings when it isn’t a celebration”. OP is monitoring other people’s food consumption as closely as her father-in-law is.
OP, you know that your FIL has food issues. Either set up the circumstances so as to make it impossible for him to overeat or accept that he is going to overeat.
The pie thing would bother me too because of the kids, but the solution to that is to plate before you bring to the table. From the kitchen, you yell “who wants pie?” And start cutting up and sending out the little plates. We generally do that just because it’s a bit easier to manage in the kitchen with drips, etc.. but it would solve your problem. Don’t put him in the situation where his demons control the size of the serving.
Anonymous
02/29/2024 15:36
Subject: Re:Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have your own food issues as well OP.
Sure! I hate wasted food and I hate people who eat more than 2-3 helpings when it isn’t a celebration. If it’s just a regular Saturday no one needs the chicken parm and the hamburger plus a side salad plus the calimari and wash that down with the monster sundae. No one needs to eat that much! And if you do choose to eat that much, fine but I don’t want to pay for it (especially since the dinner conversation was just listening to a lecture/rant). I don’t live very extravagantly so maybe that’s another psychological issue.
But you said he eats it all, so where’s the waste? You are fixated on what you see at gluttony and greed around food. Time to work on your own food issues, OP.
It’s also wasteful to eat food your body doesn’t need.
Anonymous
02/29/2024 15:35
Subject: Re:Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have your own food issues as well OP.
Sure! I hate wasted food and I hate people who eat more than 2-3 helpings when it isn’t a celebration. If it’s just a regular Saturday no one needs the chicken parm and the hamburger plus a side salad plus the calimari and wash that down with the monster sundae. No one needs to eat that much! And if you do choose to eat that much, fine but I don’t want to pay for it (especially since the dinner conversation was just listening to a lecture/rant). I don’t live very extravagantly so maybe that’s another psychological issue.
But you said he eats it all, so where’s the waste? You are fixated on what you see at gluttony and greed around food. Time to work on your own food issues, OP.
Stop. There’s no serious dispute that the FIL had serious food issues, call it food insecurity/gluttong/ whatever. Stop gaslighting the OP into thinking she’s the one with the food issues. No one their right mind acts like the FIL (orders 2 entrees for himself, orders extra entrees to go, hogs meat at the table, monitors everyone else’s food intake).
Thank you. Restaurant portions are pretty big. We have plenty of snacks and food in the house, and before he comes I stock the fridge so he has lots of choices. I have also explicitly bought things that he likes (altho I won’t set them aside specifically for him and forbid my kids from eating that food). He doesn’t need to entrees plus app plus dessert. No normal sized human who is not training for something like the Olympics needs that. It’s not judgment, it’s a fact.
Op
Anonymous
02/29/2024 15:33
Subject: Re:Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:Why do you go out to eat with him? I have boomer relatives who are bonkers about food and money too. We don’t go out with them anymore.
They translate being frugal as taking advantage of others. If someone else is paying, it’s SCORE and they behave like they have never eaten before or are at a sizzler buffet where it’s all you can carry out. They “ invited” us out once. They had two buy one entree get one free. They wanted us to buy the entree, they would get the free one. Because there was a limit of one coupon per table they wanted us to split up into two tables next to each other. In their minds they scored a free dinner.
When they come to family events, the uncle will always be at the front of the line and fill his plate with 3-4 servings of the best meat. They know that by taking 4 servings one of their siblings, nieces or nephews won’t get any but they don’t care. It’s like a competition for them how much more they can get than others. It’s a PITA if you are the host because you either have to cook mountains of food or avoid serving anything perceived as high value.
Remember when Trump made a big deal that he gets two scoops of ice cream while everyone else only gets one. It’s that type of infantile greed and delight that others have less.
This is insightful and hilarious. You sound like a lot of fun. We go out with Fil because he asks to go out, he loves eating out (on other people’s dime), and he enjoys restaurants. I do not want to go out with him, nor do I want to make 2x the food for every meal and wash dishes and clean up with very little to no help from him. The only reason we invite him and visit him is because he doesn’t have any friends and is quite lonely after MIL passed. Plus my husband wants to make sure his father is okay and we love him. Is he irritating? Yes. I do think he’s absolutely behaving in an infantile manner.
Anonymous
02/29/2024 15:30
Subject: Re:Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have your own food issues as well OP.
Sure! I hate wasted food and I hate people who eat more than 2-3 helpings when it isn’t a celebration. If it’s just a regular Saturday no one needs the chicken parm and the hamburger plus a side salad plus the calimari and wash that down with the monster sundae. No one needs to eat that much! And if you do choose to eat that much, fine but I don’t want to pay for it (especially since the dinner conversation was just listening to a lecture/rant). I don’t live very extravagantly so maybe that’s another psychological issue.
But you said he eats it all, so where’s the waste? You are fixated on what you see at gluttony and greed around food. Time to work on your own food issues, OP.
Stop. There’s no serious dispute that the FIL had serious food issues, call it food insecurity/gluttong/ whatever. Stop gaslighting the OP into thinking she’s the one with the food issues. No one their right mind acts like the FIL (orders 2 entrees for himself, orders extra entrees to go, hogs meat at the table, monitors everyone else’s food intake).
No one is gaslighting OP! OP and her FIL both have food issues. If OP did not have food issues, her FIL's food issues would not be so wildly triggering for her. Time to get a grip on her own issues so she cope better around him and not seethe and perseverate over something that barely impacts her.
Op here. Thanks for sharing.
Anonymous
02/29/2024 15:11
Subject: Re:Two entrees?
Why do you go out to eat with him? I have boomer relatives who are bonkers about food and money too. We don’t go out with them anymore.
They translate being frugal as taking advantage of others. If someone else is paying, it’s SCORE and they behave like they have never eaten before or are at a sizzler buffet where it’s all you can carry out. They “ invited” us out once. They had two buy one entree get one free. They wanted us to buy the entree, they would get the free one. Because there was a limit of one coupon per table they wanted us to split up into two tables next to each other. In their minds they scored a free dinner.
When they come to family events, the uncle will always be at the front of the line and fill his plate with 3-4 servings of the best meat. They know that by taking 4 servings one of their siblings, nieces or nephews won’t get any but they don’t care. It’s like a competition for them how much more they can get than others. It’s a PITA if you are the host because you either have to cook mountains of food or avoid serving anything perceived as high value.
Remember when Trump made a big deal that he gets two scoops of ice cream while everyone else only gets one. It’s that type of infantile greed and delight that others have less.
They translate being frugal as taking advantage of others. If someone else is paying, it’s SCORE and they behave like they have never eaten before or are at a sizzler buffet where it’s all you can carry out. They “ invited” us out once. They had two buy one entree get one free. They wanted us to buy the entree, they would get the free one. Because there was a limit of one coupon per table they wanted us to split up into two tables next to each other. In their minds they scored a free dinner.
When they come to family events, the uncle will always be at the front of the line and fill his plate with 3-4 servings of the best meat. They know that by taking 4 servings one of their siblings, nieces or nephews won’t get any but they don’t care. It’s like a competition for them how much more they can get than others. It’s a PITA if you are the host because you either have to cook mountains of food or avoid serving anything perceived as high value.
Remember when Trump made a big deal that he gets two scoops of ice cream while everyone else only gets one. It’s that type of infantile greed and delight that others have less.
Anonymous
02/29/2024 14:53
Subject: Re:Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have your own food issues as well OP.
Sure! I hate wasted food and I hate people who eat more than 2-3 helpings when it isn’t a celebration. If it’s just a regular Saturday no one needs the chicken parm and the hamburger plus a side salad plus the calimari and wash that down with the monster sundae. No one needs to eat that much! And if you do choose to eat that much, fine but I don’t want to pay for it (especially since the dinner conversation was just listening to a lecture/rant). I don’t live very extravagantly so maybe that’s another psychological issue.
But you said he eats it all, so where’s the waste? You are fixated on what you see at gluttony and greed around food. Time to work on your own food issues, OP.
Stop. There’s no serious dispute that the FIL had serious food issues, call it food insecurity/gluttong/ whatever. Stop gaslighting the OP into thinking she’s the one with the food issues. No one their right mind acts like the FIL (orders 2 entrees for himself, orders extra entrees to go, hogs meat at the table, monitors everyone else’s food intake).
No one is gaslighting OP! OP and her FIL both have food issues. If OP did not have food issues, her FIL's food issues would not be so wildly triggering for her. Time to get a grip on her own issues so she cope better around him and not seethe and perseverate over something that barely impacts her.
Anonymous
02/29/2024 14:47
Subject: Re:Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have your own food issues as well OP.
Sure! I hate wasted food and I hate people who eat more than 2-3 helpings when it isn’t a celebration. If it’s just a regular Saturday no one needs the chicken parm and the hamburger plus a side salad plus the calimari and wash that down with the monster sundae. No one needs to eat that much! And if you do choose to eat that much, fine but I don’t want to pay for it (especially since the dinner conversation was just listening to a lecture/rant). I don’t live very extravagantly so maybe that’s another psychological issue.
But you said he eats it all, so where’s the waste? You are fixated on what you see at gluttony and greed around food. Time to work on your own food issues, OP.
Stop. There’s no serious dispute that the FIL had serious food issues, call it food insecurity/gluttong/ whatever. Stop gaslighting the OP into thinking she’s the one with the food issues. No one their right mind acts like the FIL (orders 2 entrees for himself, orders extra entrees to go, hogs meat at the table, monitors everyone else’s food intake).
This whole thread is about monitoring someone's intake. "Too much!"
Anonymous
02/29/2024 14:32
Subject: Re:Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have your own food issues as well OP.
Sure! I hate wasted food and I hate people who eat more than 2-3 helpings when it isn’t a celebration. If it’s just a regular Saturday no one needs the chicken parm and the hamburger plus a side salad plus the calimari and wash that down with the monster sundae. No one needs to eat that much! And if you do choose to eat that much, fine but I don’t want to pay for it (especially since the dinner conversation was just listening to a lecture/rant). I don’t live very extravagantly so maybe that’s another psychological issue.
But you said he eats it all, so where’s the waste? You are fixated on what you see at gluttony and greed around food. Time to work on your own food issues, OP.
Stop. There’s no serious dispute that the FIL had serious food issues, call it food insecurity/gluttong/ whatever. Stop gaslighting the OP into thinking she’s the one with the food issues. No one their right mind acts like the FIL (orders 2 entrees for himself, orders extra entrees to go, hogs meat at the table, monitors everyone else’s food intake).
Anonymous
02/29/2024 14:30
Subject: Re:Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have your own food issues as well OP.
Sure! I hate wasted food and I hate people who eat more than 2-3 helpings when it isn’t a celebration. If it’s just a regular Saturday no one needs the chicken parm and the hamburger plus a side salad plus the calimari and wash that down with the monster sundae. No one needs to eat that much! And if you do choose to eat that much, fine but I don’t want to pay for it (especially since the dinner conversation was just listening to a lecture/rant). I don’t live very extravagantly so maybe that’s another psychological issue.
But you said he eats it all, so where’s the waste? You are fixated on what you see at gluttony and greed around food. Time to work on your own food issues, OP.
Anonymous
02/29/2024 14:21
Subject: Re:Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Tell your husband to deal with it plus only take him to Denny’s.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I will strongly consider this. But this is how I think it will go. Fil will either veto the restaurant or go, make a huge deal about paying, and then suggest a more expensive restaurant the next time. And when that bill comes, he’ll be hiding in the bathroom.
So wait him out. What do you want here? You've already said you and your husband will accept it and also seethe later. Your FIL sounds lonely and hungry so he lives it up while he's out. You don't have your MIL to pay for so maybe he's ordering what she might have liked as if she was there. Pretend it was for her and go about your day.