Anonymous wrote:It is the women who act older than they are, without physical limitations, that strike me as stand outs (not in a good way).

Anonymous wrote:Overall, I appreciate not having to look like my grandma did when she way my age, but I also don’t like the idea that women of any age have to still be visually appealing to the male gaze.


However, there is some weird uncanny valley thing that happens when women who definitely have the face/hair texture of someone 55+ (Caucasian) but styles themselves like they did in the 90s. Even if she’s amazingly “in shape” it looks - garish and bizarrely more aging. There’s not a lot of that around the DC area, think the south/Dallas/LA.

Also hormone therapy is MUCH better than it was 50-60 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s mostly hairstyles. Laughable that posters can’t see they also will look old and a certain age based on their hair style.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 1992 millennial with Silent Generation parents who in turn were raised by parents who came of age during the Great Depression. They had some very aging ideas about appropriate fashion:

1. You must wear sheer pantyhose, no bare legs, even if it's super hot outside.

2. Clothing cannot cling to the body. Nobody can know you have a butt. Awkward darts on shirts, though, meant it was a good quality shirt.

3. They loved synthetic fabrics because they grew up having to iron everything. You cannot wear wrinkly clothing, this is a sin as bad as having a crooked part in your hair. (This is also why they loved canned vegetables and frozen dinners, it was seen as a wonderful time-saving invention.)

4. Jeans are only for children and adults who work in the trades.

5. Hair styles were a big thing, as others have pointed out. You only wash your hair once a week, and ideally you get it done at the beauty salon with a wash and set. Overnight curlers were a total thing, with the perm being a big time saver.

If you just washed your hair and let it air dry? Slattern.

Also, short hair after a certain age (30) was de rigeur because long hair was viewed as aging. Bear in mind that lot of actresses had very short hair (Audrey Hepburn) so it was chic, just as we'll all be wearing beachy waves in our hair at the nursing home some day.

What did my parents consider sad, old people clothing? those 1940s victory skirt suits. https://vintagedancer.com/1940s/1940s-victory-suit/

My mother often lamented that nobody wore hats and gloves anymore, and subsequently looked super sloppy. I guess we've all come full circle because I can't believe LL Bean sells jogger-style pajama pants that you can wear outside the house.

You were born in 1992 and have Silent Generation parents?! They were hella old when they had you, huh?

47+? That’s pretty old.

Possibly Catholic, probably younger/est child of a large brood

Anonymous wrote:Overall, I appreciate not having to look like my grandma did when she way my age, but I also don’t like the idea that women of any age have to still be visually appealing to the male gaze.


However, there is some weird uncanny valley thing that happens when women who definitely have the face/hair texture of someone 55+ (Caucasian) but styles themselves like they did in the 90s. Even if she’s amazingly “in shape” it looks - garish and bizarrely more aging. There’s not a lot of that around the DC area, think the south/Dallas/LA.

Also hormone therapy is MUCH better than it was 50-60 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:Hair color.
I'm in my late 50s, and I now highlight my gray hair.
When it turned gray, everyone assumed I was in my 80s. I don't like altering my appearance, but I have to in order to be accepted at work. I don't use botox, but I've never been a sunbather, so my skin looks pretty good. I'm overweight (middle aged post-menopausal spare tire around my middle), but otherwise in good shape. I exercise regularly.
When my mom was my age, she had gray hair and wore traditional clothing. I dress with a bit of style, but not a lot. I'm not pretending to be young, but I don't want to be perceived as 20 years older than I am.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of it is style and culture. In the first year of Golden Girls, Dorothy and Rose were only 55 and Blanche was a year or two younger. They had old-lady hair and clothes, all of them. It was like they'd bought out a Chico's or worse. And had wash-n-set hair. I'm 53 and would never wear what they were wearing or style my hair like that -- nor would anyone I know (which is the "culture" I refer to, back then all women of that age would have dressed like that, or, gasp, aspired to).

Also, a generation or two ago everyone smoke and drank to excess and didn't wear sunscreen. So. YMMV on that.

I am so tired of hearing this. I’m 53 and no one in my family smoked, and did very little if any drinking.

Anonymous wrote:Now wondering if the blazer I have on today is an emotional support blazer.

I have a very stark memory of being home on maternity leave in the early aughts and seeing a TV add (this was before DVRs so I had to watch the ads) for Boflex or something with this ripped woman in a tiny string bikini, and at the end of the ad she said "And I'm a grandmother!" And with my post-partum body, I thought to myself --- this is a sign of the end-of-days.

Seriously, our grandparents just did not have this pressure to look great after menopause. They were expected to look good, meaning appropriately put together (clean, nice jewelry, actual shoes, probably a dress that is ironed, etc.) but no one expected them to look bang-able, unless they were Sophia Loren. [b]On the one hand, I'm glad no one expects me to wear heels and pantyhose. On the other hand, I'm really sick of caring about my meno-pot and my crows feet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no desire to not look my age.

A mother of the bride should look like the mother.

I think it's less about not wanting to look one's age and more the fact that middle-age people naturally look younger than they did 30-40 years ago.

I don’t think they naturally look younger. Most middle class women I know who don’t do procedures, actually look the same facially as middle aged women did when I was a kid in the 80’s. I really think the main reason is that middle aged women don’t dress or have starkly different hairstyles than those of younger women.

Anonymous wrote:Such an interesting conversation. Another aspect might be that 'aerobics' and working out wasn't really a thing for women until the 1980's. I remember how shocked people were when people like Jane Fonda showed up on TV in leotards! Again, I think it was the idea that women who weren't young weren't expected to be wearing revealing clothing like a leotard -- and in public! It was kind of scandalous! That's why they had things like Jazzercise and that other gym that was just for ladies. I grew up in the 1970's mostly and I remember all the moms seemed to have a pooch and to wear stretch pants. I don't remember either of my parents owning a pair of jeans -- but they were really conservative. Weird thing is that now that my mom has alzheimer's she seems to have forgotten how conservative she is 'supposed' to dress and last time I saw her, she had her eighty year old self wearing black jeans. And she looked good. And comfortable.

Anonymous wrote:I am a 1992 millennial with Silent Generation parents who in turn were raised by parents who came of age during the Great Depression. They had some very aging ideas about appropriate fashion:

1. You must wear sheer pantyhose, no bare legs, even if it's super hot outside.

2. Clothing cannot cling to the body. Nobody can know you have a butt. Awkward darts on shirts, though, meant it was a good quality shirt.

3. They loved synthetic fabrics because they grew up having to iron everything. You cannot wear wrinkly clothing, this is a sin as bad as having a crooked part in your hair. (This is also why they loved canned vegetables and frozen dinners, it was seen as a wonderful time-saving invention.)

4. Jeans are only for children and adults who work in the trades.

5. Hair styles were a big thing, as others have pointed out. You only wash your hair once a week, and ideally you get it done at the beauty salon with a wash and set. Overnight curlers were a total thing, with the perm being a big time saver.

If you just washed your hair and let it air dry? Slattern.

Also, short hair after a certain age (30) was de rigeur because long hair was viewed as aging. Bear in mind that lot of actresses had very short hair (Audrey Hepburn) so it was chic, just as we'll all be wearing beachy waves in our hair at the nursing home some day.

What did my parents consider sad, old people clothing? those 1940s victory skirt suits. https://vintagedancer.com/1940s/1940s-victory-suit/

My mother often lamented that nobody wore hats and gloves anymore, and subsequently looked super sloppy. I guess we've all come full circle because I can't believe LL Bean sells jogger-style pajama pants that you can wear outside the house.