Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

Nope, you’re the dereliction of parental duty. Every research study on feeding suggests that allowing unrestricted access results in moderation. Imposing moderation results in sneaking and binging. Full stop.

Yes, I parent. My teen has a video game system. He can play on the weekends if he does not have homework. He can play on a weeknight if he doesn’t have practice or homework (this is a very tiny amount of time) - I don’t otherwise limit it. If he plays when he has homework or a test, and he fails the test, that is a natural consequence and the next natural consequences are: no access to tv or games, more studying, worse grades. It basically doesn’t happen. He takes responsibility.

If your kid is sneaking video games and feeling ashamed for eating cookies, you’re setting yourself up for more secrecy and barriers.

Vaping, meth, etc - no effing way do I allow that. But we have very open talks, my kid is a committed athlete so has zero interest, and we also have narcan here so that IF one of his friends OR HIM makes a mistake, it is not deadly.

I cannot see how Oreos are a gateway to meth.

I love how your first paragraph is immediately contradicted by your second paragraph.

Anonymous wrote:My parents restricted some junk food. They did not really restrict it, but they never bought it (except for ice cream). I remember loving going to my aunt or grandma’s house and opening their fridge or pantry. It was always full of snacks.

I am think and I think I have a good relationship with food. As an adult, on occasion I have eaten too much ice cream or cookies, but then might skip dinner. I am thin (not naturally so) and I am glad my parents did what they did and made sure I was never over weight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would strongly suggest you revisit the food rules of your house. Forbidden foods become sought-after foods. We don’t have food rules here and my ravenous teenager eats a pretty good range of foods, which includes junk food, fruits, vegetables, and lots of other things.

Anyway, my suggestion is that there is no consequence. Maybe he has a stomach ache. Maybe he experiences no effect. The effect of binging a package of Oreos or Girl Scout cookies or…a bag of grapes is minimal, tbh. Focus on teaching life long skills and don’t make foods off limits.

Also, if he’s sneaking video games, revisit those rules, too…

A mental health counselor parent

Let me understand. You're suggesting that parents buy Oreos, Cheetos, and other kinds of junk food in order that these foods not become forbidden foods?

And how would you revisit the rules around video games? Just let him play an unlimited amount?

This sounds like non-parenting to me.

Anonymous wrote:We are a family that has sugary dessert only once a week, the rest of the time we end dinner with fresh fruit. We allow occasional treats but we're not really into a lot of junk food.

Our 13 yr old DS bought a bag of Oreos the other day with his own allowance money on the understanding that he could have a couple as an occasional treat. He bought the Oreos on Friday afternoon. They were completely gone by Saturday night.

He knows that we would not be OK with him doing this. When we found out he said he just couldn't control himself around the Oreos.

What's an appropriate consequence for this behavior? We've never known him to binge but this is also the first time we've let him buy a full-size snack bag with his own money.

He's had some issues lying around sneaking video game time but he's generally an honest kid. Clearly cannot be trusted around video games and Oreos tho.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One surgery treat a week??? This can’t be real.

You created this OP - you are forcing your kid to follow a restrictive diet, I’m not surprised AT ALL that he binges when he gets the chance.

Yep. Stop restricting the food OP, or he will continue to binge every chance he gets.

It's really telling he used his own money to buy Oreos.