Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re a little over $100K but we have 3 kids. Honestly, the biggest problem is daycare. We were lucky to purchase our home at a low rate years ago.

We do day trips and not vacations.

Drive very old cars and invest funds in fixing them.

Save for college but prioritize retirement. I probably don’t have enough, but we both save alot of our salaries towards that.

Because of that, we overpay on taxes and get a big refund. That’s helps.

We had family help when kids were infants, so that saved some.

We are not poor or close to it. We’re in the top 20%! So $100K is probably top 25%

Where do you live? That makes a difference

Boston suburbs. It’s not cheap here. But we do have Market Basket!

I live within 128 and my childcare is $60k post tax. How are you living on $100k in suburban Massachusetts? Are you in like Billerica with a $2k mortgage?

Do you have two kids in care? I’m paying $2K per month for one preschool kid.

Mortgage is $2K too. Near Billerica but not there. Are you in Newton?

I’m impressed with your budgeting skills! I’m in Westwood, mortgage is $4k for a shack but other suburbs weren’t significantly cheaper for nicer when we bought in 2022.
Figured you were closer to the land of Market Basket. Yes 2 kids in FT daycare, it is painful but we waited too long to have kids so had to cram them in. Maybe one of these weeknights I will brave the MB in Waltham.

Yeah we were lucky to buy in 2012. Huge difference.

MB really helps.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a tiny townhome in Alexandria. DH makes 100k, I stay home with our 3 kids. Schools are not great, so we homeschool the oldest. My husband drives an old car, but I had to buy a new minivan this year to fit three kids in car seats. We have no debt besides the mortgage. We think we’re pretty fortunate. We do watch what we buy, but I’m ok with that if it means I get to stay home with the kids. I had a very stressful, but high paying job before having kids.

Why didn’t your husband stay at home if you were the high earner?

He can’t take care of the kids and has no patience for homeschooling. He would sit on his cell phone all day while the kids ate gummies and crackers. I’m a better stay at home parent. My job was stressful too. I was an ER doc in a busy, poorly staffed ER.

Seems like the economics here suggest you would have come out ahead with daycare or a nanny.

Mental health isn’t free. I think this poster is saying this works for her family. Why does she need to justify it to you? I am sure her kids will benefit more in life from having a parent who gave up a stressful job to spend time with them while they are young than having money in the bank and a mom who was always working or sleeping.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have $100k with 3 kids in Arlington. It's not terrible at all.

-We live in a small house rental but also own a small condo in College Park that DH lived in and paid off before we met.
-Vacations 1-2x year within driving distance, renting a cottage in the country for a few days. More often day trips like yesterday to Luray Caverns + dinner at a diner.
-Food is never Aldi. To get the good stuff but within out budget, I buy heirloom beans, grains, spices, meats from smaller suppliers - Rancho Gordo, Anson Mills, Polyface Farms.
-Clothes for kids only well made bought on end of season sale, mostly Hannan Anderson and Tea because convenient to be on their mailing lists and just wait. DH and I dress less well but I won't have my kids mistreated for looking poor.
-For recreation, cheap hobbies - exploring local parks, gardening, trips to little regional museums, etc.
-Older daughter takes 6 extracurriculars (1 sport + 4 arts, reading tutor) to supplement what I think is bland APS
-old car fully paid of with regular maintenance

I've no idea how but we live within budget. No debt, credit card set to auto-pay the balance in full monthly. Somehow we have enough cash for car repairs and legal emergencies. I've no idea how it's some kind of math magic. But so far so good.

Do you eat out at restaurants? Do beauty treatments? Hair color? Lasers? Does your husband have a watch? Where do YOU get your clothing from? No is no equivalent to $10 high end adult clothes. What are your ages and what do you present as in person? Something is missing here.

I’m a different poster, but also live in Arlington with kid. The adult equivalent for decent quality clothes at Hanna/Tea sale prices is J Crew Factory or Banana Republic Factory. If you maintain your weight, adults don’t need new clothes very often. My husband needs 1 new pair of pants , a pair of jeans, a button down shirt and a polo shirt annually - all from J crew factory on sale. Throw in some socks, boxers, and undershirts from Target every 2-3 years. If you are a mom in Arlington, you can dress in Lulu and Boden for minimal investment if you shop at Blossom and Buds consignment or are active in BuyNothing. Mh BuyNothing group has posted things like a Burberry trench coat, a Farm Rio dress, and a Longchamp purse in the last 6 months.
My HHI is considerably higher than $100k, but there are plenty of people in my circle who are probably close to 100k with an at-home parent of a divorced single parent. It is not odd to me for families to rarely eat out or for women to not dye their hair or have beauty treatments. I once had a friend “confide” in me that she spent $90 in a single trip to Sephora and she was embarrassed because she thought that was so foolish and extravagant! Her HHI is probably $250k.
I think your line of questioning is odd. Only in DCUMland do all women get Botox and have salon died hair. All the dads I know wear Apple Watches.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re a little over $100K but we have 3 kids. Honestly, the biggest problem is daycare. We were lucky to purchase our home at a low rate years ago.

We do day trips and not vacations.

Drive very old cars and invest funds in fixing them.

Save for college but prioritize retirement. I probably don’t have enough, but we both save alot of our salaries towards that.

Because of that, we overpay on taxes and get a big refund. That’s helps.

We had family help when kids were infants, so that saved some.

We are not poor or close to it. We’re in the top 20%! So $100K is probably top 25%

Where do you live? That makes a difference

Boston suburbs. It’s not cheap here. But we do have Market Basket!

I live within 128 and my childcare is $60k post tax. How are you living on $100k in suburban Massachusetts? Are you in like Billerica with a $2k mortgage?

Do you have two kids in care? I’m paying $2K per month for one preschool kid.

Mortgage is $2K too. Near Billerica but not there. Are you in Newton?

I’m impressed with your budgeting skills! I’m in Westwood, mortgage is $4k for a shack but other suburbs weren’t significantly cheaper for nicer when we bought in 2022.
Figured you were closer to the land of Market Basket. Yes 2 kids in FT daycare, it is painful but we waited too long to have kids so had to cram them in. Maybe one of these weeknights I will brave the MB in Waltham.

We did it until our youngest of 4 was in K.

I stayed home and did pretty much everything though (cooking, cleaning, yard work, home maintenance, dog grooming, child care, exc.). We didn't have any debt, one car payment at times, played rec sports and were able to go on one nice vacation a year.

We weren't able to save for retirement, however, until I started working.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re a little over $100K but we have 3 kids. Honestly, the biggest problem is daycare. We were lucky to purchase our home at a low rate years ago.

We do day trips and not vacations.

Drive very old cars and invest funds in fixing them.

Save for college but prioritize retirement. I probably don’t have enough, but we both save alot of our salaries towards that.

Because of that, we overpay on taxes and get a big refund. That’s helps.

We had family help when kids were infants, so that saved some.

We are not poor or close to it. We’re in the top 20%! So $100K is probably top 25%

Where do you live? That makes a difference

Boston suburbs. It’s not cheap here. But we do have Market Basket!

I live within 128 and my childcare is $60k post tax. How are you living on $100k in suburban Massachusetts? Are you in like Billerica with a $2k mortgage?

Do you have two kids in care? I’m paying $2K per month for one preschool kid.

Mortgage is $2K too. Near Billerica but not there. Are you in Newton?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in an older small townhouse - that we bought in 2012. I don't think we could afford the townhouse at current prices. But I feel like most of DCUM wouldn't even look at such a townhouse anyway.

Lots of people look at and live in townhouses- but as you say even townhouses have gotten expensive! The newer build townhouses near our neighborhood cost more than many of the older SFHs.

they definitely do - but I'm thinking the regular DCUM crowd would not choose my townhouse build in 1970. but living there is how we live on 100k.

The more you make, the more you want to spend. The more you make, the more you want to make. And the more you want to spend.

If you have just 50k/year, you will manage. There won't be much frivolous spending. You will need to change the habit.

Anonymous wrote:We live in an older small townhouse - that we bought in 2012. I don't think we could afford the townhouse at current prices. But I feel like most of DCUM wouldn't even look at such a townhouse anyway.

Lots of people look at and live in townhouses- but as you say even townhouses have gotten expensive! The newer build townhouses near our neighborhood cost more than many of the older SFHs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re a little over $100K but we have 3 kids. Honestly, the biggest problem is daycare. We were lucky to purchase our home at a low rate years ago.

We do day trips and not vacations.

Drive very old cars and invest funds in fixing them.

Save for college but prioritize retirement. I probably don’t have enough, but we both save alot of our salaries towards that.

Because of that, we overpay on taxes and get a big refund. That’s helps.

We had family help when kids were infants, so that saved some.

We are not poor or close to it. We’re in the top 20%! So $100K is probably top 25%

Where do you live? That makes a difference

Boston suburbs. It’s not cheap here. But we do have Market Basket!

I live within 128 and my childcare is $60k post tax. How are you living on $100k in suburban Massachusetts? Are you in like Billerica with a $2k mortgage?

Live in a low cost rural area.

Anonymous wrote:We live in an older small townhouse - that we bought in 2012. I don't think we could afford the townhouse at current prices. But I feel like most of DCUM wouldn't even look at such a townhouse anyway.

to add - not the very best schools either. but ok.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why people ask these questions. You absolutely can, but you have to be "reasonable" with your wants and needs. When I made that, I didn't live in a house (but was aggressively saving for one). I had no car payment, no debt, and still took nice vacations. I was very happy.

This

+1

We live in an older small townhouse - that we bought in 2012. I don't think we could afford the townhouse at current prices. But I feel like most of DCUM wouldn't even look at such a townhouse anyway.

This was how I grew up. Basic needs were covered, but my parents had to be very selective about the wants- very few paid activities, no eating out, vacations were to visit family. My mom sewed our clothes until middle school when we rebelled. Little college savings and they probably don't have enough for retirement, but are ok for now.