Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You dodged a bullet. If she didn’t want you to eat it she should have said so. This would have been a common issue in the relationship(her saying one thing and meaning another). Consider yourself lucky.

+1. She wants a mind reader. Also, who takes a "to go" box on a 2nd date.

At what point did the “to go” box come into this? OP didn’t mention it. That’s ridiculous to assume she was upset because she wouldn’t have leftovers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was kind of a jerk thing to do on a second date, but any woman worth keeping around isn’t going to be bothered by something so trivial as not having food to take home. If she wanted it she should have said so at the time instead of giving it to you. Chalk it up to lesson learned what not to do ona second date, but also what kind of woman doesn’t make a good future relationship.

But if he's already willing to take liberties like this on a second date what is he going to do down the line? This would worry me.

He's not taking 'liberties'. He asked.

So would you do this when you’re taking a client out to dinner? No, because you want to make a good impression. Same for a date. What a clueless bungler OP is.

My first thought was that this was fine, but the more I think about it, the more I think she might have been right. This does seem like a small example of normalized misogyny. And one of those examples where it hurts both men and women because it’s hard for you to see how you did anything wrong.

I’m calling it misogyny because you wouldn’t have done this with another man. If you were having a business dinner or getting together with another man from church or whatever, and you had only met once or twice, you wouldn’t ask him to eat the rest of his food. That would be so odd.

It seems fine in this context because it’s normal for a man to ask this of a woman. But it shouldn’t be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was kind of a jerk thing to do on a second date, but any woman worth keeping around isn’t going to be bothered by something so trivial as not having food to take home. If she wanted it she should have said so at the time instead of giving it to you. Chalk it up to lesson learned what not to do ona second date, but also what kind of woman doesn’t make a good future relationship.

But if he's already willing to take liberties like this on a second date what is he going to do down the line? This would worry me.

He's not taking 'liberties'. He asked.

Anonymous wrote:You dodged a bullet. If she didn’t want you to eat it she should have said so. This would have been a common issue in the relationship(her saying one thing and meaning another). Consider yourself lucky.

+1. She wants a mind reader. Also, who takes a "to go" box on a 2nd date.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was kind of a jerk thing to do on a second date, but any woman worth keeping around isn’t going to be bothered by something so trivial as not having food to take home. If she wanted it she should have said so at the time instead of giving it to you. Chalk it up to lesson learned what not to do ona second date, but also what kind of woman doesn’t make a good future relationship.

But if he's already willing to take liberties like this on a second date what is he going to do down the line? This would worry me.

What liberties? He asked, she answered and then was upset he listened to her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol at men actually thinking it’s worth it for a woman to go on a date with a guy she doesn’t like for free food. Wtf dudes. No wonder you are single since you’re so clueless about what it’s like to be a woman.

+100 it's 2024 and we have jobs and our own money and can buy our own food. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Sorry, but that's unfortunately not true for a lot of women on the dating market. Particularly in expensive places like LA, SF, NYC, and even DC. (not sure where OP is located)

There are definitely women - usually in their 20s - who will go out with a guy for a nice meal and free drinks. At the end of the date, the woman is going home with a doggy bag (weeknight) or ditches the guy to go meet up with their friends for more festivities (weekend).

It's happened to lot of my buddies. It's not common, but pretty easy to sniff out once its happened to you.

Anonymous wrote:ESH.

Eating off her plate (or even asking to do so in the first place) is weird and overly-familiar behavior on a second date. Don't do that again. Maybe it's fine once you get into an established relationship, but not on a second date.

That said, she should have said no. "Actually, I'm planning to take this to work for lunch tomorrow." Not hard.

This. Room for improvement for both of you.

Anonymous wrote:Lol at men actually thinking it’s worth it for a woman to go on a date with a guy she doesn’t like for free food. Wtf dudes. No wonder you are single since you’re so clueless about what it’s like to be a woman.

I'm a man (which makes me presumed clueless in the DCUM world) and even I can see that no woman is going to go on dates with men she doesn't like only for free food. Time is way more valuable than the cost of the food, and not just the time for the date itself, but managing all the baggage that early stage dating entails.

Anonymous wrote:Lol at men actually thinking it’s worth it for a woman to go on a date with a guy she doesn’t like for free food. Wtf dudes. No wonder you are single since you’re so clueless about what it’s like to be a woman.

Yeah, we don't do that (go on dates for a food stash). She was put off by OP's manners. I would really wonder about a guy who ate my food. Did you reach over? I bet OP is also overweight

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was a dinner-hoe on a foodie call. She was hoping to turn dinner with OP into two meals.

Ha, probably true. People are so strange. Don’t sweat it OP. Posters here are making it seem like you were leaning over and scoffing her meal. Rather than assuming she didn’t like it, you should have asked. If she liked your meal more than hers, offer to switch or let her choose another entree. Find a less neurotic date. Good luck!

By his own admission, that’s what he was doing. So rude and presumptuous.

Anonymous wrote:Lol at men actually thinking it’s worth it for a woman to go on a date with a guy she doesn’t like for free food. Wtf dudes. No wonder you are single since you’re so clueless about what it’s like to be a woman.

+100 it's 2024 and we have jobs and our own money and can buy our own food. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Lol at men actually thinking it’s worth it for a woman to go on a date with a guy she doesn’t like for free food. Wtf dudes. No wonder you are single since you’re so clueless about what it’s like to be a woman.

Anonymous wrote:She was a dinner-hoe on a foodie call. She was hoping to turn dinner with OP into two meals.

Ha, probably true. People are so strange. Don’t sweat it OP. Posters here are making it seem like you were leaning over and scoffing her meal. Rather than assuming she didn’t like it, you should have asked. If she liked your meal more than hers, offer to switch or let her choose another entree. Find a less neurotic date. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was a dinner-hoe on a foodie call. She was hoping to turn dinner with OP into two meals.

If so she wouldn't be so stupid as to share.

She didn't want to get revealed for who she really is. If she said "No," then OP would've wizened up to the game she was playing. She was probably going to string him along for another meal or two.

+1 I worked with someone like this over 20 years ago! It is not a new phenomenon at all. There was no tinder that I can recall but she would go on J date (she was Jewish) and plan half her week eating dinners with guys from all around our major urban area. She had zero standards for who bought her dinner and would bad mouth them afterwards. She was very pretty, so it was an endless spring of free meals.