Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do nothing.

Why are you checking her social?

This

I would too. It hasn’t even been a year for OP.

I love how these OW/APs stalk the wives for YEARS without their knowledge…and then after they blow up the betrayed wife’s life and she’s trying to piece together what was her reality all that time she was being gaslit—they get self righteous.

It’s a natural compulsion to look. Who wouldn’t want to know who the interloper was and what they are about?

But- It will drive you mad and then you will learn it’s a trigger. To completely get her out of your head, you learn not to look her up anymore or give her a shred of a thought. The ironic part of it is—ask cheating men —they completely move on and forget the side piece—but once the wife knows she’ll have every detail she learns imprinted on her brain.

It’s true- the men move on and the women have a sort of intimate strangers level of knowledge about one another, which is toxic yet somehow satifying. They compete for a plastic carnival prize that off-gasses noxious fumes.

This.

Dump him, OP. Also, call a lawyer and accountant. Maybe he realized how much it would cost to divorce so changed his mind/ is hiding the money. Ask me how I know (close friend husband did almost similar and hid the money while they were "reconciling")... Get tested for all STDs.

Also, you sure AP didn't get pregnant?

You deserve SO MUCH better, OP. Your kids will be fine and it will be good for them to see you stand up for yourself and not to stay in a bad relationship.

The height of evil to cheat and pretend to reconcile in order to hide money. Courts don’t look fondly at that so I hope your friends husband was caught.

OP - I’m rooting for you b/c you’ve been very honest w/your thoughts/feelings. And you come back to answer questions. And I get why you might come here b/c you can’t confide 100% with your family/friends. Your experience is unique on this board b/c you have financial independence and are (or are about to be) an empty nester. You don’t HAVE to stay in this marriage. Yet you say you are doing so b/c you still love DH and want to work on your marriage. Which is why I’m rooting for you b/c it’s a decent thing to want to do.

HOWEVER, there is this undercurrent in your posts that leads me to get the sense you are staying/working on the marriage for a different reason. It seems you may be staying b/c you don’t want the OW to end up with your DH. This concerns me b/c the OW who’s social media you are still somehow looking at is not going to be the NEXT OW. Your DH is reeling from the discovery of his affair right now and trying to atone with you and his kids. He’s not going to get back w/the OW. He’s a wounded, humiliated man and you are holding all the cards.How long will he be able to play that role? And do you really want to play the role you’ve now been cast in? Your lives are about to change w/your kids leaving home. It sounds like you could have a great co-parenting life ahead as exes. Stop focusing on the OW. It’s distracting you from figuring out what YOU want/deserve.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The video includes dates together and other things (flowers) etc from my husband including his voice in one. No clear pictures of him but notes with his name on it… She’s not married. The affair is well over and my husband and I are in a good place, but feel like I should say something? WWYD? I guess she has the right to post whatever she wants to. Still hard.

OP, I'm sorry this happened but I can guarantee you your DH still gets hard for AP.

Every ow loves to believe she had that kind of impact.

I know men that can’t even remember the name or much else about former women they banged/had relationships with.

Nah. Once it ends. if they care about their wives and healing their marriage, they find the OW a disgusting reminder of their mistakes

Did Ashley Madison ever close down?

Speaking of, back when AM was in the news years ago it was reported that only a few zip codes in the entire country had no members. Think about that and let it sink in…only a few areas in the country had no members. Someone who worked for the site stated that the most of the women who joined were not married. Just further proof that all men are cheaters.

And what does that say about the single women that joined to bang married men (and find themselves a husband). Not exactly a great look for them either, especially given the glut of OLD services available.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The video includes dates together and other things (flowers) etc from my husband including his voice in one. No clear pictures of him but notes with his name on it… She’s not married. The affair is well over and my husband and I are in a good place, but feel like I should say something? WWYD? I guess she has the right to post whatever she wants to. Still hard.

OP, I'm sorry this happened but I can guarantee you your DH still gets hard for AP.

Every ow loves to believe she had that kind of impact.

I know men that can’t even remember the name or much else about former women they banged/had relationships with.

Nah. Once it ends. if they care about their wives and healing their marriage, they find the OW a disgusting reminder of their mistakes

Did Ashley Madison ever close down?

Speaking of, back when AM was in the news years ago it was reported that only a few zip codes in the entire country had no members. Think about that and let it sink in…only a few areas in the country had no members. Someone who worked for the site stated that the most of the women who joined were not married. Just further proof that all men are cheaters.

That’s a bit misleading. Back then women didn’t have to “sign up”. They also didn’t have to pay to use the site which is why no women were implicated.

There are tons of women users. Anecdotally, the two divorced I know of- the wives were AM users having affairs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The video includes dates together and other things (flowers) etc from my husband including his voice in one. No clear pictures of him but notes with his name on it… She’s not married. The affair is well over and my husband and I are in a good place, but feel like I should say something? WWYD? I guess she has the right to post whatever she wants to. Still hard.

Make an OnlyFans and send your husband videos of you having sex with other men. Only fair you get to have some fun too.

That or fock his brother, friend or coworker.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The video includes dates together and other things (flowers) etc from my husband including his voice in one. No clear pictures of him but notes with his name on it… She’s not married. The affair is well over and my husband and I are in a good place, but feel like I should say something? WWYD? I guess she has the right to post whatever she wants to. Still hard.

If you and your husband are in a good place, why are you checking her social media?
And how are you in a good place after an affair that occurred in 2023 and involved dates, flowers, notes and his consent to be recorded by her? Sounds like it wasn’t just sex and he made no effort to hide it.

This affair just happened (2023 ended 6 days ago) and you're already in a good place?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The video includes dates together and other things (flowers) etc from my husband including his voice in one. No clear pictures of him but notes with his name on it… She’s not married. The affair is well over and my husband and I are in a good place, but feel like I should say something? WWYD? I guess she has the right to post whatever she wants to. Still hard.

OP, I'm sorry this happened but I can guarantee you your DH still gets hard for AP.

Every ow loves to believe she had that kind of impact.

I know men that can’t even remember the name or much else about former women they banged/had relationships with.

Nah. Once it ends. if they care about their wives and healing their marriage, they find the OW a disgusting reminder of their mistakes

Did Ashley Madison ever close down?

Speaking of, back when AM was in the news years ago it was reported that only a few zip codes in the entire country had no members. Think about that and let it sink in…only a few areas in the country had no members. Someone who worked for the site stated that the most of the women who joined were not married. Just further proof that all men are cheaters.

Anonymous wrote:The video includes dates together and other things (flowers) etc from my husband including his voice in one. No clear pictures of him but notes with his name on it… She’s not married. The affair is well over and my husband and I are in a good place, but feel like I should say something? WWYD? I guess she has the right to post whatever she wants to. Still hard.

Make an OnlyFans and send your husband videos of you having sex with other men. Only fair you get to have some fun too.

I would raise this with my DH in counseling & I think it's on him to help mitigate the emotional impact on you of this happening. All the people saying to just move on & pretend you didn't see it - that's not something I would do if I were in marriage counseling with my DH over his affair. Either you two are in this together, fighting for you marriage, and you can speak candidly about the tough stuff you are going through, or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The video includes dates together and other things (flowers) etc from my husband including his voice in one. No clear pictures of him but notes with his name on it… She’s not married. The affair is well over and my husband and I are in a good place, but feel like I should say something? WWYD? I guess she has the right to post whatever she wants to. Still hard.

And you know this, how?

what would you say? to who would you say it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do nothing.

Why are you checking her social?

This

I would too. It hasn’t even been a year for OP.

I love how these OW/APs stalk the wives for YEARS without their knowledge…and then after they blow up the betrayed wife’s life and she’s trying to piece together what was her reality all that time she was being gaslit—they get self righteous.

It’s a natural compulsion to look. Who wouldn’t want to know who the interloper was and what they are about?

But- It will drive you mad and then you will learn it’s a trigger. To completely get her out of your head, you learn not to look her up anymore or give her a shred of a thought. The ironic part of it is—ask cheating men —they completely move on and forget the side piece—but once the wife knows she’ll have every detail she learns imprinted on her brain.

It’s true- the men move on and the women have a sort of intimate strangers level of knowledge about one another, which is toxic yet somehow satifying. They compete for a plastic carnival prize that off-gasses noxious fumes.

This.

Dump him, OP. Also, call a lawyer and accountant. Maybe he realized how much it would cost to divorce so changed his mind/ is hiding the money. Ask me how I know (close friend husband did almost similar and hid the money while they were "reconciling")... Get tested for all STDs.

Also, you sure AP didn't get pregnant?

You deserve SO MUCH better, OP. Your kids will be fine and it will be good for them to see you stand up for yourself and not to stay in a bad relationship.

No to all

I am well protected financially

My husband is working very hard and I believe in change if someone is remorseful and humble. We hit a very bad stretch for a lot of reasons- not an excuse for his behavior- but just part of understanding it all and working on our marriage

OP you seem deeply in denial.

Anonymous wrote:Ignore. They can’t handle not getting a response. If you block, don’t look on SM she will eventually get bored and go look for another married man.

But—this reeks of “crazy” and escalation. Make sure you have a Ring or Nest camera—front and back entrances. This chick is unstable.

+1 if they were together she wouldn’t make a post about it. She did it to trigger a response from you. Just ignore her.

Anonymous wrote:DH tasted 36 year old fruit, and knows he can get it. No way he's going to be loyal to OP until he's too old to chase and just needs a nursemom.

+1000

He wants OP to keep doing the wife stuff that makes his life easier and doesn't want to blow things up because of his kids, but he'll continue to chase younger APs and be smart enough not to end up on a "video melange" again, lol.

The fear coming off of the wives posting on this thread is palpable, lol. Probably SAHMs terrified of losing their meal ticket.

Menage melange for the man of age.