OP here. Thank you for all the different views. I hope all of you who defend buying the gift cards also make sure your kids are thankful for their teachers and make them cards, arts and craft etc. By making your kids work and think of why they are thankful, you make sure they respect the teachers the remaining 364 days a year. I saw some very rich and very disrespectful kids in my kids’ classes over the years. Kids literally ordering the teachers around. I am sure those parents give the teachers nice gift cards and I highly doubt those kids spend time doing something nice for those teachers they treat so disrespectfully.

As I mentioned, my kids are in private schools and I highly doubt the teachers pay for any supply. My kids have more than they could ever use and in my eldest we actually buy her supplies at the beginning of the year (on top of the $53k for tuition). But if teachers do pay for anything out of pockets, then I absolutely agree that parents should reimburse them one way or another.

I think my plan moving forward will be to perhaps buy a gift with a gift receipt and keep making my kids write nice cards and choose small gifts for their teachers when we travel.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lady, if you have kids old enough to be in school you really need to learn how to stand up to peer pressure. Don't do it if you truly don't want to.
But you seem very short-sighted and obtuse if you can't figure out the reason why people do it.

Not OP. Why do people do it?

Havent you read the thread? The answers are there

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lady, if you have kids old enough to be in school you really need to learn how to stand up to peer pressure. Don't do it if you truly don't want to.
But you seem very short-sighted and obtuse if you can't figure out the reason why people do it.

Not OP. Why do people do it?

Stfu

Anonymous wrote:
People do it to get preferential treatment, to try to buy good grades , and to keep the teacher/ adm from entering disciplinary records. I’ve seen this happening in both public and private schools.
My kids (and I) find it disturbing.

My spouse is a teacher and trust me they do not give preferrential treatment to kids who parents give them gifts.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think it makes some parents feel in a superior position (subconsciously of course).

But I agree, it’s a cultural difference in the end. For us teachers are professionals and not our paid employees. I would be offended in the teacher’s place and I am sure the teachers from my country would too. Americans teachers perhaps do not feel offended because it’s a given nowadays and they are practicals and parents like the position of feeling like they are able to help the poor teachers.

I think a thank you card made by the student is much more appropriate or a small gift we bring back from our travelings to show we thought of them and what they might enjoy.

I'm curious as to why you would feel humilated if you were a teacher and a parent gave you a gift card. Trust us but teachers do not think parents are superior if they give gifts. We think of it as a small token of thanks. Also we do not think poorly of those who don't give.
One of the best gifts is well behaved children. Ironically it is always the better behaved kuds' parents who are generous.
Also, a handmade note is great. Depending on the gift from your travels it might not be. Give the gift that is more useful to the recepiant not what you think they will like

Anonymous wrote:
People do it to get preferential treatment, to try to buy good grades , and to keep the teacher/ adm from entering disciplinary records. I’ve seen this happening in both public and private schools.
My kids (and I) find it disturbing.

This is not true and I'd like to see your proof otherwise.

People do it to get preferential treatment, to try to buy good grades , and to keep the teacher/ adm from entering disciplinary records. I’ve seen this happening in both public and private schools.
My kids (and I) find it disturbing.

Anonymous wrote:I want to start saying that I am not American and grew up in Europe. My kids go to private schools and we have been giving gift cards ($25-100) per teacher every year.

I am trying to understand why we do this. I do it because of peer pressure. All other parents/kids bring gift cards and I don’t want my kids to be the only ones that do not.

Why do other people in American do this? We have never done this in my home country. I think teachers (who are professionals) would be offended to receive a gift card.

I think a special gift or a home made card would be nice to show appreciation… money is offensive in my opinion. It seems to come from a “thanking the help” place and not a nice genuine desire to thank these professionals that teach our children.

Please don’t say that I don’t have to. I feel compelled to when everyone else does it.

You do it as a thank you to someone who had a difficult job and is traditionally under-valued and underpaid

Anonymous wrote:Lady, if you have kids old enough to be in school you really need to learn how to stand up to peer pressure. Don't do it if you truly don't want to.
But you seem very short-sighted and obtuse if you can't figure out the reason why people do it.

Not OP. Why do people do it?

Lady, if you have kids old enough to be in school you really need to learn how to stand up to peer pressure. Don't do it if you truly don't want to.
But you seem very short-sighted and obtuse if you can't figure out the reason why people do it.

Anonymous wrote:I want to start saying that I am not American and grew up in Europe. My kids go to private schools and we have been giving gift cards ($25-100) per teacher every year.

I am trying to understand why we do this. I do it because of peer pressure. All other parents/kids bring gift cards and I don’t want my kids to be the only ones that do not.

Why do other people in American do this? We have never done this in my home country. I think teachers (who are professionals) would be offended to receive a gift card.

I think a special gift or a home made card would be nice to show appreciation… money is offensive in my opinion. It seems to come from a “thanking the help” place and not a nice genuine desire to thank these professionals that teach our children.

Please don’t say that I don’t have to. I feel compelled to when everyone else does it.

First of all, your gift card prices are cheap AF. Second of all, you do it because they provide quality care to your children in a Disney children appreciation. 🙄

Anonymous wrote:Teachers buy a lot for their classrooms and do a lot to take care of kids whose parents don’t send them with proper supplies. I don’t think that Teachers should pay out of their pockets and I know that the schools are not giving them the money for the supplies that they buy. I am comfortable chipping in $25 at winter break and the end of the year to help defer costs. And if some of that ends up paying for a personal splurge, great. My kid has had a good experience at school and I don’t have a problem with spoiling his Teachers a bit.

I get not every parent can contribute which is why I like class gifts. The Teachers don’t need to know who chipped in and who didn’t.

This is true but here (Arlington) the teachers who spend the most get the least. Basically if you work in a school north of rat 50, you’re getting hundreds of dollars multiple times a year (holidays, teacher appreciation, one year also a baby shower). If you work in a less affluent neighborhood you maybe make $20. That doesn’t sit right with me. I think there should be a limit on how much public employees can accept. I can only give my mailman $5 but we can give our teacher $500? Growing up my mom was a teacher and I’m pretty sure she couldn’t accept gifts over $25. Yes, she got a lot of mugs and notepads, but I remember all the kids working to choose the gift; these days I just Venmo the money no my kids could care less.

Anonymous wrote:My parents did not give shit to my teachers.

Well, yeah… that’d be gross.

Teachers buy a lot for their classrooms and do a lot to take care of kids whose parents don’t send them with proper supplies. I don’t think that Teachers should pay out of their pockets and I know that the schools are not giving them the money for the supplies that they buy. I am comfortable chipping in $25 at winter break and the end of the year to help defer costs. And if some of that ends up paying for a personal splurge, great. My kid has had a good experience at school and I don’t have a problem with spoiling his Teachers a bit.

I get not every parent can contribute which is why I like class gifts. The Teachers don’t need to know who chipped in and who didn’t.

I feel a ton of appreciation for the teachers and what they do. In my mind, whoever is investing all that attention in my kid is one of the most important people in our life, so my instinct is to show appreciation with a gift. It doesn’t have to be $ but it’s an easier route than coming up with a present they may or may not like.

I agree you don’t have to do it. Or you can have your child write a card/letter and the teacher will probably be touched by that gesture.

I also don’t think it’s “charity” any more than a tip or a bonus is.