Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of siblings and even their spouses play up the card that they make less money or have more kids than their other siblings' families, in an attempt to "win over" more inheritance money and assets.

Older parents at the grandparent age should hope this doesn't get proposed to them, because it usually causes long-lasting problems.

Split things equally amongst your adult children. Most understand if one sib was primary caretaker or managing the finances in the other year, and may get paid for that. But splitting the inheritance or paying for only one sib's family stuff damages things. Doing so in secret, really does.

Both my husband and I have ne'er do well brother who can't get their shit together. The rest of us (siblings on all sides) are doing much better than these two black sheep. In both cases we fully expect our parents to leave them more. They "need" it more. Our parents are right. It is what it is. The less we are expected to help them later in life the better. It doesn't make us hate or resent our parents for wanting to die knowing all their kids will be taken care of.

Anonymous wrote:A lot of siblings and even their spouses play up the card that they make less money or have more kids than their other siblings' families, in an attempt to "win over" more inheritance money and assets.

Older parents at the grandparent age should hope this doesn't get proposed to them, because it usually causes long-lasting problems.

Split things equally amongst your adult children. Most understand if one sib was primary caretaker or managing the finances in the other year, and may get paid for that. But splitting the inheritance or paying for only one sib's family stuff damages things. Doing so in secret, really does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you spend a second thinking about this?

My narcissistic mother could leave her stuff to Elon Musk and I couldn't care less.

Probably not worth pursuing this line but if I were to guess it will be to my “perfect” golden child sister who is incapable of holding down a job, maintaining friendships, or staying in a marriage or romantic relationship… no kids, no ability to self regulate or capacity for self reflection. Very sad my parents have enabled and empowered her to where she is now. I would happily forfeit the ability to clean out my mom’s house full of belongings she’s hoarded and any inheritance for the happy, stable, drama free life that I live as a result of being semi-estranged.

Anonymous wrote:A truly narcissistic parent will play mind games with inheritance, yes OP. Thinking about hurting you, even from beyond the grave, makes them happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are going through this right now. NPD FIL gave password to his accounts to the BPD BIL to spite us. Did not leave a will. BIL is an addict and psychopath.

Now, we have to untangle the mess and challenge him in courts. In his last years, FIL did not even know what he was signing and BPD is out of control.

Good times!

They are horrible people and they will harm you from the grave if they can.

Why do you need to untangle the mess and challenge in court? So you can inherit? In that case, you must think it is worth the time and stress. You can blame your situation on no one but yourself.

Sounds worth it to fight that. If over $500k at stake and it’s not “missing.”

Why are you always siding with the scam artists on this board Op? Are you one too or you like to post nonsense all the time?

I'm a totally new poster. The point is that people should own their own decisions. No one is forcing this poster and her husband to engage in this situation. But they want to both get the money and cry about how abused they are. They are choosing this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are going through this right now. NPD FIL gave password to his accounts to the BPD BIL to spite us. Did not leave a will. BIL is an addict and psychopath.

Now, we have to untangle the mess and challenge him in courts. In his last years, FIL did not even know what he was signing and BPD is out of control.

Good times!

They are horrible people and they will harm you from the grave if they can.

Why do you need to untangle the mess and challenge in court? So you can inherit? In that case, you must think it is worth the time and stress. You can blame your situation on no one but yourself.

Sounds worth it to fight that. If over $500k at stake and it’s not “missing.”

Why are you always siding with the scam artists on this board Op? Are you one too or you like to post nonsense all the time?

I'm a totally new poster. The point is that people should own their own decisions. No one is forcing this poster and her husband to engage in this situation. But they want to both get the money and cry about how abused they are. They are choosing this.