Anonymous wrote:Make her pay for it and go get the car.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP, just think for a moment, what if I am wrong and accuse my daughter of horrible things and lying.

What if your daughter was raped or roofied or whatever. Maybe she is processing that. Maybe she is lying, but why jump to the conclusion she is lying?

She probably didn't realize you'd get this bill or she didn't want to talk about it.

What are the consequences if you threaten her and go ballistic and you are doing it to a victim?

Take a breath. Some of the responses have this girl in rehab, some say get her on BC? Why are we assuming she is a huge liar?

What you do here can really affect your future relationship. You sound hot headed if your first inclination is to ban her from having a car a year from now. I hope you haven't said this to her.

If you're so concerned, go see her, tell her you're concerned and how can you help?

She posted a drunk TikTok from her hospital bed, flashing peace signs and the like. (A friend of hers showed me). She says she wasn’t raped and while I guess being roofied CAN result in behaving extra drunk, roofies are actually sedatives. Unfortunately, I don’t believe she was roofied — I think that is a story to cover up the fact that she was so trashed that her friends decided to intervene and take her to the hospital. If so, this is now at least the second event I am aware of in the year where she has been blackout drunk. So we clearly need a conversation about substance abuse.

We will have a conversation in two weeks after finals. I have told her to bring a copy of the police report and the tox screen from her hospital visit as well as the itemized bill. We will look at those things together.

If, in fact, she brings those things, the discussion will be limited to does she need support to deal with being crime victim and this basic idea that you call your parents when you are hospitalized.

If she can’t produce them or refuses, then I will have no choice to conclude that she was drunk to the point of being taken to a hospital, which in my mind is very serious. She followed that up with the extremely poor judgment in failing to notify immediately (lie of omission), inventing a story to cover (lie of commission), and gaslighting (“this is why I didn’t tell you.”).

And because of these poor choices, she won’t be allowed to rush this Spring (she has no money of her own since she spent her job money as quickly as she had it despite my continued counsel to build up savings for college expenses. She gets an allowance but doesn’t save that either.) I had agreed previously to pay for rush and sorority dues since she got several scholarships, but there’s no way I am going to pay to put her into a Greek system where attitudes about alcohol are worse than the school at large, under the circumstances.

As for the car, I may place conditions on her to earn it for next year. These include:

— Completing an alcohol awareness class
— Showing me her report card (something I have never asked of her older sister) and granting me FERPA waiver.
— Maintaing her scholarship.
— Getting a job on campus second semester to supplement the allowance (clearly she had the time).
— Getting a source of decent summer income, either at home or like as a camp counselor or something. She’s too young to get an internship, probably, but if she got one of those I would accept it as a substitute even if it didn’t pay.

That’s my “morning after” plan.

I personally wouldn’t punish her so harshly for seeking medical care. She did the right thing and she it seems rightly knew you would freak out if she told you. I’d just pay the bill and tell her to always seek care if she’s worried and that you are always willing provide a nonjudgmental ear. She’s an adult so your relationship needs to change from “punishing” to supporting her into adulthood.

This is a good take. I can’t imagine punishing a young adult who found herself in a bad situation but did the right thing. All that punishment is going to teach her to not seek medical care next time, which will have bigger implications.

OP, go ahead with that plan. We’ll plan to check back in with you in a few years when your child have no relationship with you and you’re posting on here about why you’ve been cut out of her life. You already have a shaky relationship and you want to approach the resolution with anger, fear, and punishment? Why does that seem like the right approach to you?

OP here. What the hell is wrong with you, you sanctimonious twat?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP, just think for a moment, what if I am wrong and accuse my daughter of horrible things and lying.

What if your daughter was raped or roofied or whatever. Maybe she is processing that. Maybe she is lying, but why jump to the conclusion she is lying?

She probably didn't realize you'd get this bill or she didn't want to talk about it.

What are the consequences if you threaten her and go ballistic and you are doing it to a victim?

Take a breath. Some of the responses have this girl in rehab, some say get her on BC? Why are we assuming she is a huge liar?

What you do here can really affect your future relationship. You sound hot headed if your first inclination is to ban her from having a car a year from now. I hope you haven't said this to her.

If you're so concerned, go see her, tell her you're concerned and how can you help?

She posted a drunk TikTok from her hospital bed, flashing peace signs and the like. (A friend of hers showed me). She says she wasn’t raped and while I guess being roofied CAN result in behaving extra drunk, roofies are actually sedatives. Unfortunately, I don’t believe she was roofied — I think that is a story to cover up the fact that she was so trashed that her friends decided to intervene and take her to the hospital. If so, this is now at least the second event I am aware of in the year where she has been blackout drunk. So we clearly need a conversation about substance abuse.

We will have a conversation in two weeks after finals. I have told her to bring a copy of the police report and the tox screen from her hospital visit as well as the itemized bill. We will look at those things together.

If, in fact, she brings those things, the discussion will be limited to does she need support to deal with being crime victim and this basic idea that you call your parents when you are hospitalized.

If she can’t produce them or refuses, then I will have no choice to conclude that she was drunk to the point of being taken to a hospital, which in my mind is very serious. She followed that up with the extremely poor judgment in failing to notify immediately (lie of omission), inventing a story to cover (lie of commission), and gaslighting (“this is why I didn’t tell you.”).

And because of these poor choices, she won’t be allowed to rush this Spring (she has no money of her own since she spent her job money as quickly as she had it despite my continued counsel to build up savings for college expenses. She gets an allowance but doesn’t save that either.) I had agreed previously to pay for rush and sorority dues since she got several scholarships, but there’s no way I am going to pay to put her into a Greek system where attitudes about alcohol are worse than the school at large, under the circumstances.

As for the car, I may place conditions on her to earn it for next year. These include:

— Completing an alcohol awareness class
— Showing me her report card (something I have never asked of her older sister) and granting me FERPA waiver.
— Maintaing her scholarship.
— Getting a job on campus second semester to supplement the allowance (clearly she had the time).
— Getting a source of decent summer income, either at home or like as a camp counselor or something. She’s too young to get an internship, probably, but if she got one of those I would accept it as a substitute even if it didn’t pay.

That’s my “morning after” plan.

Anonymous wrote:The responses here are gross. Everyone needs to read this from a northwestern student who was roofied.

https://dailynorthwestern.com/2021/09/27/opinion/podolsky-i-was-drugged-at-aepi-evanston-hospital-failed-me/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP, just think for a moment, what if I am wrong and accuse my daughter of horrible things and lying.

What if your daughter was raped or roofied or whatever. Maybe she is processing that. Maybe she is lying, but why jump to the conclusion she is lying?

She probably didn't realize you'd get this bill or she didn't want to talk about it.

What are the consequences if you threaten her and go ballistic and you are doing it to a victim?

Take a breath. Some of the responses have this girl in rehab, some say get her on BC? Why are we assuming she is a huge liar?

What you do here can really affect your future relationship. You sound hot headed if your first inclination is to ban her from having a car a year from now. I hope you haven't said this to her.

If you're so concerned, go see her, tell her you're concerned and how can you help?

She posted a drunk TikTok from her hospital bed, flashing peace signs and the like. (A friend of hers showed me). She says she wasn’t raped and while I guess being roofied CAN result in behaving extra drunk, roofies are actually sedatives. Unfortunately, I don’t believe she was roofied — I think that is a story to cover up the fact that she was so trashed that her friends decided to intervene and take her to the hospital. If so, this is now at least the second event I am aware of in the year where she has been blackout drunk. So we clearly need a conversation about substance abuse.

We will have a conversation in two weeks after finals. I have told her to bring a copy of the police report and the tox screen from her hospital visit as well as the itemized bill. We will look at those things together.

If, in fact, she brings those things, the discussion will be limited to does she need support to deal with being crime victim and this basic idea that you call your parents when you are hospitalized.

If she can’t produce them or refuses, then I will have no choice to conclude that she was drunk to the point of being taken to a hospital, which in my mind is very serious. She followed that up with the extremely poor judgment in failing to notify immediately (lie of omission), inventing a story to cover (lie of commission), and gaslighting (“this is why I didn’t tell you.”).

And because of these poor choices, she won’t be allowed to rush this Spring (she has no money of her own since she spent her job money as quickly as she had it despite my continued counsel to build up savings for college expenses. She gets an allowance but doesn’t save that either.) I had agreed previously to pay for rush and sorority dues since she got several scholarships, but there’s no way I am going to pay to put her into a Greek system where attitudes about alcohol are worse than the school at large, under the circumstances.

As for the car, I may place conditions on her to earn it for next year. These include:

— Completing an alcohol awareness class
— Showing me her report card (something I have never asked of her older sister) and granting me FERPA waiver.
— Maintaing her scholarship.
— Getting a job on campus second semester to supplement the allowance (clearly she had the time).
— Getting a source of decent summer income, either at home or like as a camp counselor or something. She’s too young to get an internship, probably, but if she got one of those I would accept it as a substitute even if it didn’t pay.

That’s my “morning after” plan.

I personally wouldn’t punish her so harshly for seeking medical care. She did the right thing and she it seems rightly knew you would freak out if she told you. I’d just pay the bill and tell her to always seek care if she’s worried and that you are always willing provide a nonjudgmental ear. She’s an adult so your relationship needs to change from “punishing” to supporting her into adulthood.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP, just think for a moment, what if I am wrong and accuse my daughter of horrible things and lying.

What if your daughter was raped or roofied or whatever. Maybe she is processing that. Maybe she is lying, but why jump to the conclusion she is lying?

She probably didn't realize you'd get this bill or she didn't want to talk about it.

What are the consequences if you threaten her and go ballistic and you are doing it to a victim?

Take a breath. Some of the responses have this girl in rehab, some say get her on BC? Why are we assuming she is a huge liar?

What you do here can really affect your future relationship. You sound hot headed if your first inclination is to ban her from having a car a year from now. I hope you haven't said this to her.

If you're so concerned, go see her, tell her you're concerned and how can you help?

She posted a drunk TikTok from her hospital bed, flashing peace signs and the like. (A friend of hers showed me). She says she wasn’t raped and while I guess being roofied CAN result in behaving extra drunk, roofies are actually sedatives. Unfortunately, I don’t believe she was roofied — I think that is a story to cover up the fact that she was so trashed that her friends decided to intervene and take her to the hospital. If so, this is now at least the second event I am aware of in the year where she has been blackout drunk. So we clearly need a conversation about substance abuse.

We will have a conversation in two weeks after finals. I have told her to bring a copy of the police report and the tox screen from her hospital visit as well as the itemized bill. We will look at those things together.

If, in fact, she brings those things, the discussion will be limited to does she need support to deal with being crime victim and this basic idea that you call your parents when you are hospitalized.

If she can’t produce them or refuses, then I will have no choice to conclude that she was drunk to the point of being taken to a hospital, which in my mind is very serious. She followed that up with the extremely poor judgment in failing to notify immediately (lie of omission), inventing a story to cover (lie of commission), and gaslighting (“this is why I didn’t tell you.”).

And because of these poor choices, she won’t be allowed to rush this Spring (she has no money of her own since she spent her job money as quickly as she had it despite my continued counsel to build up savings for college expenses. She gets an allowance but doesn’t save that either.) I had agreed previously to pay for rush and sorority dues since she got several scholarships, but there’s no way I am going to pay to put her into a Greek system where attitudes about alcohol are worse than the school at large, under the circumstances.

As for the car, I may place conditions on her to earn it for next year. These include:

— Completing an alcohol awareness class
— Showing me her report card (something I have never asked of her older sister) and granting me FERPA waiver.
— Maintaing her scholarship.
— Getting a job on campus second semester to supplement the allowance (clearly she had the time).
— Getting a source of decent summer income, either at home or like as a camp counselor or something. She’s too young to get an internship, probably, but if she got one of those I would accept it as a substitute even if it didn’t pay.

That’s my “morning after” plan.

I personally wouldn’t punish her so harshly for seeking medical care. She did the right thing and she it seems rightly knew you would freak out if she told you. I’d just pay the bill and tell her to always seek care if she’s worried and that you are always willing provide a nonjudgmental ear. She’s an adult so your relationship needs to change from “punishing” to supporting her into adulthood.

This is a good take. I can’t imagine punishing a young adult who found herself in a bad situation but did the right thing. All that punishment is going to teach her to not seek medical care next time, which will have bigger implications.

OP, go ahead with that plan. We’ll plan to check back in with you in a few years when your child have no relationship with you and you’re posting on here about why you’ve been cut out of her life. You already have a shaky relationship and you want to approach the resolution with anger, fear, and punishment? Why does that seem like the right approach to you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP, just think for a moment, what if I am wrong and accuse my daughter of horrible things and lying.

What if your daughter was raped or roofied or whatever. Maybe she is processing that. Maybe she is lying, but why jump to the conclusion she is lying?

She probably didn't realize you'd get this bill or she didn't want to talk about it.

What are the consequences if you threaten her and go ballistic and you are doing it to a victim?

Take a breath. Some of the responses have this girl in rehab, some say get her on BC? Why are we assuming she is a huge liar?

What you do here can really affect your future relationship. You sound hot headed if your first inclination is to ban her from having a car a year from now. I hope you haven't said this to her.

If you're so concerned, go see her, tell her you're concerned and how can you help?

She posted a drunk TikTok from her hospital bed, flashing peace signs and the like. (A friend of hers showed me). She says she wasn’t raped and while I guess being roofied CAN result in behaving extra drunk, roofies are actually sedatives. Unfortunately, I don’t believe she was roofied — I think that is a story to cover up the fact that she was so trashed that her friends decided to intervene and take her to the hospital. If so, this is now at least the second event I am aware of in the year where she has been blackout drunk. So we clearly need a conversation about substance abuse.

We will have a conversation in two weeks after finals. I have told her to bring a copy of the police report and the tox screen from her hospital visit as well as the itemized bill. We will look at those things together.

If, in fact, she brings those things, the discussion will be limited to does she need support to deal with being crime victim and this basic idea that you call your parents when you are hospitalized.

If she can’t produce them or refuses, then I will have no choice to conclude that she was drunk to the point of being taken to a hospital, which in my mind is very serious. She followed that up with the extremely poor judgment in failing to notify immediately (lie of omission), inventing a story to cover (lie of commission), and gaslighting (“this is why I didn’t tell you.”).

And because of these poor choices, she won’t be allowed to rush this Spring (she has no money of her own since she spent her job money as quickly as she had it despite my continued counsel to build up savings for college expenses. She gets an allowance but doesn’t save that either.) I had agreed previously to pay for rush and sorority dues since she got several scholarships, but there’s no way I am going to pay to put her into a Greek system where attitudes about alcohol are worse than the school at large, under the circumstances.

As for the car, I may place conditions on her to earn it for next year. These include:

— Completing an alcohol awareness class
— Showing me her report card (something I have never asked of her older sister) and granting me FERPA waiver.
— Maintaing her scholarship.
— Getting a job on campus second semester to supplement the allowance (clearly she had the time).
— Getting a source of decent summer income, either at home or like as a camp counselor or something. She’s too young to get an internship, probably, but if she got one of those I would accept it as a substitute even if it didn’t pay.

That’s my “morning after” plan.

I personally wouldn’t punish her so harshly for seeking medical care. She did the right thing and she it seems rightly knew you would freak out if she told you. I’d just pay the bill and tell her to always seek care if she’s worried and that you are always willing provide a nonjudgmental ear. She’s an adult so your relationship needs to change from “punishing” to supporting her into adulthood.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP, just think for a moment, what if I am wrong and accuse my daughter of horrible things and lying.

What if your daughter was raped or roofied or whatever. Maybe she is processing that. Maybe she is lying, but why jump to the conclusion she is lying?

She probably didn't realize you'd get this bill or she didn't want to talk about it.

What are the consequences if you threaten her and go ballistic and you are doing it to a victim?

Take a breath. Some of the responses have this girl in rehab, some say get her on BC? Why are we assuming she is a huge liar?

What you do here can really affect your future relationship. You sound hot headed if your first inclination is to ban her from having a car a year from now. I hope you haven't said this to her.

If you're so concerned, go see her, tell her you're concerned and how can you help?

She posted a drunk TikTok from her hospital bed, flashing peace signs and the like. (A friend of hers showed me). She says she wasn’t raped and while I guess being roofied CAN result in behaving extra drunk, roofies are actually sedatives. Unfortunately, I don’t believe she was roofied — I think that is a story to cover up the fact that she was so trashed that her friends decided to intervene and take her to the hospital. If so, this is now at least the second event I am aware of in the year where she has been blackout drunk. So we clearly need a conversation about substance abuse.

We will have a conversation in two weeks after finals. I have told her to bring a copy of the police report and the tox screen from her hospital visit as well as the itemized bill. We will look at those things together.

If, in fact, she brings those things, the discussion will be limited to does she need support to deal with being crime victim and this basic idea that you call your parents when you are hospitalized.

If she can’t produce them or refuses, then I will have no choice to conclude that she was drunk to the point of being taken to a hospital, which in my mind is very serious. She followed that up with the extremely poor judgment in failing to notify immediately (lie of omission), inventing a story to cover (lie of commission), and gaslighting (“this is why I didn’t tell you.”).

And because of these poor choices, she won’t be allowed to rush this Spring (she has no money of her own since she spent her job money as quickly as she had it despite my continued counsel to build up savings for college expenses. She gets an allowance but doesn’t save that either.) I had agreed previously to pay for rush and sorority dues since she got several scholarships, but there’s no way I am going to pay to put her into a Greek system where attitudes about alcohol are worse than the school at large, under the circumstances.

As for the car, I may place conditions on her to earn it for next year. These include:

— Completing an alcohol awareness class
— Showing me her report card (something I have never asked of her older sister) and granting me FERPA waiver.
— Maintaing her scholarship.
— Getting a job on campus second semester to supplement the allowance (clearly she had the time).
— Getting a source of decent summer income, either at home or like as a camp counselor or something. She’s too young to get an internship, probably, but if she got one of those I would accept it as a substitute even if it didn’t pay.

That’s my “morning after” plan.

I personally wouldn’t punish her so harshly for seeking medical care. She did the right thing and she it seems rightly knew you would freak out if she told you. I’d just pay the bill and tell her to always seek care if she’s worried and that you are always willing provide a nonjudgmental ear. She’s an adult so your relationship needs to change from “punishing” to supporting her into adulthood.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP, just think for a moment, what if I am wrong and accuse my daughter of horrible things and lying.

What if your daughter was raped or roofied or whatever. Maybe she is processing that. Maybe she is lying, but why jump to the conclusion she is lying?

She probably didn't realize you'd get this bill or she didn't want to talk about it.

What are the consequences if you threaten her and go ballistic and you are doing it to a victim?

Take a breath. Some of the responses have this girl in rehab, some say get her on BC? Why are we assuming she is a huge liar?

What you do here can really affect your future relationship. You sound hot headed if your first inclination is to ban her from having a car a year from now. I hope you haven't said this to her.

If you're so concerned, go see her, tell her you're concerned and how can you help?

She posted a drunk TikTok from her hospital bed, flashing peace signs and the like. (A friend of hers showed me). She says she wasn’t raped and while I guess being roofied CAN result in behaving extra drunk, roofies are actually sedatives. Unfortunately, I don’t believe she was roofied — I think that is a story to cover up the fact that she was so trashed that her friends decided to intervene and take her to the hospital. If so, this is now at least the second event I am aware of in the year where she has been blackout drunk. So we clearly need a conversation about substance abuse.

We will have a conversation in two weeks after finals. I have told her to bring a copy of the police report and the tox screen from her hospital visit as well as the itemized bill. We will look at those things together.

If, in fact, she brings those things, the discussion will be limited to does she need support to deal with being crime victim and this basic idea that you call your parents when you are hospitalized.

If she can’t produce them or refuses, then I will have no choice to conclude that she was drunk to the point of being taken to a hospital, which in my mind is very serious. She followed that up with the extremely poor judgment in failing to notify immediately (lie of omission), inventing a story to cover (lie of commission), and gaslighting (“this is why I didn’t tell you.”).

And because of these poor choices, she won’t be allowed to rush this Spring (she has no money of her own since she spent her job money as quickly as she had it despite my continued counsel to build up savings for college expenses. She gets an allowance but doesn’t save that either.) I had agreed previously to pay for rush and sorority dues since she got several scholarships, but there’s no way I am going to pay to put her into a Greek system where attitudes about alcohol are worse than the school at large, under the circumstances.

As for the car, I may place conditions on her to earn it for next year. These include:

— Completing an alcohol awareness class
— Showing me her report card (something I have never asked of her older sister) and granting me FERPA waiver.
— Maintaing her scholarship.
— Getting a job on campus second semester to supplement the allowance (clearly she had the time).
— Getting a source of decent summer income, either at home or like as a camp counselor or something. She’s too young to get an internship, probably, but if she got one of those I would accept it as a substitute even if it didn’t pay.

That’s my “morning after” plan.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP, just think for a moment, what if I am wrong and accuse my daughter of horrible things and lying.

What if your daughter was raped or roofied or whatever. Maybe she is processing that. Maybe she is lying, but why jump to the conclusion she is lying?

She probably didn't realize you'd get this bill or she didn't want to talk about it.

What are the consequences if you threaten her and go ballistic and you are doing it to a victim?

Take a breath. Some of the responses have this girl in rehab, some say get her on BC? Why are we assuming she is a huge liar?

What you do here can really affect your future relationship. You sound hot headed if your first inclination is to ban her from having a car a year from now. I hope you haven't said this to her.

If you're so concerned, go see her, tell her you're concerned and how can you help?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have college aged children and work in law enforcement. I am shocked at how many women responding don’t seem to know how prevalent it is for young women to be roofied. I guarantee your students know women this has happened to.

Yeah, this and sexual assault are not like we learned about on afterschool specials back in the day. They are sadly common. They happen everywhere, all the time. And wow they can mess a person up.