Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a school employee (not teacher) on page one and I bet it’s private school and it’s the first step in counseling you out. Your kid is fine, they just want easy, “advanced” kids.
Reading on to find out…

After reading more, do you maintain your conclusion that the kid is pretty normal and the school is just trying to counsel him out?

I’m a different teacher. Not possible for us to say. We don’t see the kid and we don’t know what the teachers see. So he may have concerns and issues, he may not, but the salient point is if they’re telling OP to get a neuropsych, they’re trying to push her son out. If the neuropsych reveals he has learning disabilities or special needs guess what- they don’t have to accommodate him and don’t want to. Privates don’t deal with IEPs, so they’re not trying to get him one - this is step one of trying to get him out of the school.

If she doesn’t get the neuropsych, or it’s not atypical, they’re going to eventually tell her he’s still struggling and it’s not a good fit.

You don’t know what you are talking about. My kid was at a very rigorous academic private and they were supportive in meeting her needs with respect to ADHD and slow processing. In fact, we had a much easier time getting accommodations then friends in public because we did not have to deal with a bureaucracy.

That is not a representative private school at all.

But it is. . . I know a good number of kids at local privates with ADHD. Sorry to disappoint you.

Who's disappointed? You, perhaps. Your anecdotes are not representative. Sorry.

Our school has a bad habit of telling parents negative things about their kids in the k and pk years. I don’t know why. They did it to us and several other families. I think only one got referred to testing. In the end, I don’t think any of the kids actually had problems, though some left because they were so upset about it. Consider OT or something like that, but a neuropsych exam for what you are describing sounds pretty absurd. FWIW, my understanding is that, for the one kid who got tested at our school, the test showed no issues. Do you know what other parents are hearing a out their kids?

I am so happy to have those teachers behind us. Things have been so much better since.

Did OP ever come back to confirm that it was private or public? Sorry I don’t have time for 8 pages.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a school employee (not teacher) on page one and I bet it’s private school and it’s the first step in counseling you out. Your kid is fine, they just want easy, “advanced” kids.
Reading on to find out…

After reading more, do you maintain your conclusion that the kid is pretty normal and the school is just trying to counsel him out?

I’m a different teacher. Not possible for us to say. We don’t see the kid and we don’t know what the teachers see. So he may have concerns and issues, he may not, but the salient point is if they’re telling OP to get a neuropsych, they’re trying to push her son out. If the neuropsych reveals he has learning disabilities or special needs guess what- they don’t have to accommodate him and don’t want to. Privates don’t deal with IEPs, so they’re not trying to get him one - this is step one of trying to get him out of the school.

If she doesn’t get the neuropsych, or it’s not atypical, they’re going to eventually tell her he’s still struggling and it’s not a good fit.

You don’t know what you are talking about. My kid was at a very rigorous academic private and they were supportive in meeting her needs with respect to ADHD and slow processing. In fact, we had a much easier time getting accommodations then friends in public because we did not have to deal with a bureaucracy.

That is not a representative private school at all.

But it is. . . I know a good number of kids at local privates with ADHD. Sorry to disappoint you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a school employee (not teacher) on page one and I bet it’s private school and it’s the first step in counseling you out. Your kid is fine, they just want easy, “advanced” kids.
Reading on to find out…

After reading more, do you maintain your conclusion that the kid is pretty normal and the school is just trying to counsel him out?

I’m a different teacher. Not possible for us to say. We don’t see the kid and we don’t know what the teachers see. So he may have concerns and issues, he may not, but the salient point is if they’re telling OP to get a neuropsych, they’re trying to push her son out. If the neuropsych reveals he has learning disabilities or special needs guess what- they don’t have to accommodate him and don’t want to. Privates don’t deal with IEPs, so they’re not trying to get him one - this is step one of trying to get him out of the school.

If she doesn’t get the neuropsych, or it’s not atypical, they’re going to eventually tell her he’s still struggling and it’s not a good fit.

You don’t know what you are talking about. My kid was at a very rigorous academic private and they were supportive in meeting her needs with respect to ADHD and slow processing. In fact, we had a much easier time getting accommodations then friends in public because we did not have to deal with a bureaucracy.

That is not a representative private school at all.

My kid is in OT for exactly these issues, OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a school employee (not teacher) on page one and I bet it’s private school and it’s the first step in counseling you out. Your kid is fine, they just want easy, “advanced” kids.
Reading on to find out…

After reading more, do you maintain your conclusion that the kid is pretty normal and the school is just trying to counsel him out?

I’m a different teacher. Not possible for us to say. We don’t see the kid and we don’t know what the teachers see. So he may have concerns and issues, he may not, but the salient point is if they’re telling OP to get a neuropsych, they’re trying to push her son out. If the neuropsych reveals he has learning disabilities or special needs guess what- they don’t have to accommodate him and don’t want to. Privates don’t deal with IEPs, so they’re not trying to get him one - this is step one of trying to get him out of the school.

If she doesn’t get the neuropsych, or it’s not atypical, they’re going to eventually tell her he’s still struggling and it’s not a good fit.

You don’t know what you are talking about. My kid was at a very rigorous academic private and they were supportive in meeting her needs with respect to ADHD and slow processing. In fact, we had a much easier time getting accommodations then friends in public because we did not have to deal with a bureaucracy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend is a special education teacher. She says she can often tell when a child has special needs.

I have a friend whose son was counseled out of private school. The kid is definitely different. They were really offended and blames the school. I am not a professional but I can see that something is off about her child.

Some people want to help their child as much as possible and get them evaluated and services. Others do not want their child to be labeled and avoid.

Sure, if someone is a special needs teacher. It's not clear anyone involved has expertise in this area though.

There is no harm to the child in doing the neuropsych, more info is generally good. I think the issue here is what the school intense to do with it. I think there are three reasons a school would recommend it:

1) Genuine concern for the child and a desire to meet his needs. They may have programming for ADHD or other issues and a diagnosis could get him access. They may just want to see him do well.

2) They are hoping it leads to medication because they find medicated kids easier to deal with. You can view this as good or bad or neutral.

3) They think he'll get a diagnosis and will use it to counsel him out. "Your son has needs our school is not set up to meet."

IME #2 and #3 are more likely. So I can see how, in this situation, you'd want to be cautious about how you get the neuropsych and what you share with the school. I would not want to feel pressured to medicate a kid who was diagnosed with ADHD but whose presentation is very mild (which is how OP's description sounds to me). I'm not anti meds but for younger kids who aren't having academic issues, there are other things I'd do first unless the social stuff was poor.

I'd also worry about a "mild ASD" diagnosis which is getting increasingly common and can honestly be worse than no diagnosis because there are often not great treatment options and it comes with stigma/educational consequences even though kids in the category often have decent social skills and more emotional regulation and verbal skills than you expect from ASD kids.

So I'd get the neuropsych but keep the results close the chest, think hard about specifically what I want for my kid, and not be shy about getting second opinions and taking a more skeptical approach at this age/stage than the school seems to want. Very strong likelihood they have ulterior motives so letting them drive the process is a bad idea.

This is a ton of misinformation. First of all, in most states, if you have an ASD diagnosis treatment (therapy, social skills training, OT etc) is covered by insurance so the diagnosis actually opens up a ton of cheaper resources.

Secondly, if it is very mild, schools don’t even give IEPs for many high functional level 1 kids. so there few stigma in school unless there is a large behavioral component which isn’t true for most if not all cases.

I think you have really old outdated info. The plus is outside private therapy is abundant for ASD and social skills and one on one behavioral /therapeutic coaching for parents is pretty awesome for any parent.

Anonymous wrote:I would get the full neuropsych if that is what is being recommended. We were private pay and maybe waited a month for an appointment. My child was not diagnosed until late middle school because she was able to mask with excellent academic performance. She has both types of ADHD and slow processing. I really wish that someone had suggested testing to us earlier. She went though middle school being punished by teachers for behavior that was result of adhd-fidgeting, inability to sit still, etc. . . Further, I really would have liked more time to help her work on her executive function skills before college, we barely had enough time to get her medications right.

Early intervention will only help your child. It seems you are overlooking this out of a desire not to have your child “labeled.”

It's that the label is the first step to getting counseled out. Many kids outgrow problems that come with labels, but the labels stick and you can never get rid of them. Therefore, better to not get the label in the first place if you can help it. The solution here is for OP to get some kind of outside evaluation and not reveal anything to the school. And realistically she should take a good look at her public school options.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend is a special education teacher. She says she can often tell when a child has special needs.

I have a friend whose son was counseled out of private school. The kid is definitely different. They were really offended and blames the school. I am not a professional but I can see that something is off about her child.

Some people want to help their child as much as possible and get them evaluated and services. Others do not want their child to be labeled and avoid.

Sure, if someone is a special needs teacher. It's not clear anyone involved has expertise in this area though.

There is no harm to the child in doing the neuropsych, more info is generally good. I think the issue here is what the school intense to do with it. I think there are three reasons a school would recommend it:

1) Genuine concern for the child and a desire to meet his needs. They may have programming for ADHD or other issues and a diagnosis could get him access. They may just want to see him do well.

2) They are hoping it leads to medication because they find medicated kids easier to deal with. You can view this as good or bad or neutral.

3) They think he'll get a diagnosis and will use it to counsel him out. "Your son has needs our school is not set up to meet."

IME #2 and #3 are more likely. So I can see how, in this situation, you'd want to be cautious about how you get the neuropsych and what you share with the school. I would not want to feel pressured to medicate a kid who was diagnosed with ADHD but whose presentation is very mild (which is how OP's description sounds to me). I'm not anti meds but for younger kids who aren't having academic issues, there are other things I'd do first unless the social stuff was poor.

I'd also worry about a "mild ASD" diagnosis which is getting increasingly common and can honestly be worse than no diagnosis because there are often not great treatment options and it comes with stigma/educational consequences even though kids in the category often have decent social skills and more emotional regulation and verbal skills than you expect from ASD kids.

So I'd get the neuropsych but keep the results close the chest, think hard about specifically what I want for my kid, and not be shy about getting second opinions and taking a more skeptical approach at this age/stage than the school seems to want. Very strong likelihood they have ulterior motives so letting them drive the process is a bad idea.

Definitely. OP is under no obligation to reveal any outside evaluation results to the school.

Anonymous wrote:I would get the full neuropsych if that is what is being recommended. We were private pay and maybe waited a month for an appointment. My child was not diagnosed until late middle school because she was able to mask with excellent academic performance. She has both types of ADHD and slow processing. I really wish that someone had suggested testing to us earlier. She went though middle school being punished by teachers for behavior that was result of adhd-fidgeting, inability to sit still, etc. . . Further, I really would have liked more time to help her work on her executive function skills before college, we barely had enough time to get her medications right.

Early intervention will only help your child. It seems you are overlooking this out of a desire not to have your child “labeled.”

We had the same experience with our son.

Anonymous wrote:My friend is a special education teacher. She says she can often tell when a child has special needs.

I have a friend whose son was counseled out of private school. The kid is definitely different. They were really offended and blames the school. I am not a professional but I can see that something is off about her child.

Some people want to help their child as much as possible and get them evaluated and services. Others do not want their child to be labeled and avoid.

Sure, if someone is a special needs teacher. It's not clear anyone involved has expertise in this area though.

There is no harm to the child in doing the neuropsych, more info is generally good. I think the issue here is what the school intense to do with it. I think there are three reasons a school would recommend it:

1) Genuine concern for the child and a desire to meet his needs. They may have programming for ADHD or other issues and a diagnosis could get him access. They may just want to see him do well.

2) They are hoping it leads to medication because they find medicated kids easier to deal with. You can view this as good or bad or neutral.

3) They think he'll get a diagnosis and will use it to counsel him out. "Your son has needs our school is not set up to meet."

IME #2 and #3 are more likely. So I can see how, in this situation, you'd want to be cautious about how you get the neuropsych and what you share with the school. I would not want to feel pressured to medicate a kid who was diagnosed with ADHD but whose presentation is very mild (which is how OP's description sounds to me). I'm not anti meds but for younger kids who aren't having academic issues, there are other things I'd do first unless the social stuff was poor.

I'd also worry about a "mild ASD" diagnosis which is getting increasingly common and can honestly be worse than no diagnosis because there are often not great treatment options and it comes with stigma/educational consequences even though kids in the category often have decent social skills and more emotional regulation and verbal skills than you expect from ASD kids.

So I'd get the neuropsych but keep the results close the chest, think hard about specifically what I want for my kid, and not be shy about getting second opinions and taking a more skeptical approach at this age/stage than the school seems to want. Very strong likelihood they have ulterior motives so letting them drive the process is a bad idea.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a school employee (not teacher) on page one and I bet it’s private school and it’s the first step in counseling you out. Your kid is fine, they just want easy, “advanced” kids.
Reading on to find out…

After reading more, do you maintain your conclusion that the kid is pretty normal and the school is just trying to counsel him out?

I’m a different teacher. Not possible for us to say. We don’t see the kid and we don’t know what the teachers see. So he may have concerns and issues, he may not, but the salient point is if they’re telling OP to get a neuropsych, they’re trying to push her son out. If the neuropsych reveals he has learning disabilities or special needs guess what- they don’t have to accommodate him and don’t want to. Privates don’t deal with IEPs, so they’re not trying to get him one - this is step one of trying to get him out of the school.

If she doesn’t get the neuropsych, or it’s not atypical, they’re going to eventually tell her he’s still struggling and it’s not a good fit.

My friend is a special education teacher. She says she can often tell when a child has special needs.

I have a friend whose son was counseled out of private school. The kid is definitely different. They were really offended and blames the school. I am not a professional but I can see that something is off about her child.

Some people want to help their child as much as possible and get them evaluated and services. Others do not want their child to be labeled and avoid.

Anonymous wrote:I am a school employee (not teacher) on page one and I bet it’s private school and it’s the first step in counseling you out. Your kid is fine, they just want easy, “advanced” kids.
Reading on to find out…

After reading more, do you maintain your conclusion that the kid is pretty normal and the school is just trying to counsel him out?