Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Although she was thin when we met, dated, married ... I now have a fat wife. And that will never change.

This is such a tired complaint. All the men who cry about this - had they never bothered seeing older women before they married? (Probably they didn't - mothers and grandmothers not really existing because not a focus for sexual attention.)

Men have known for millennia that the gift of bearing, birthing and raising them children would cause a woman's body to become misshapen and often rounded and even rotund. And they have complained bitterly for millennia just the same.

Older women with children who care for a husband and kids AND are still premarital, pre-motherhood slender are outliers. They have always been outliers.

There is a huge difference between middle age weight gain in American from, say, 1960-1990 and the obesity of today.

There is very little middle ground, especially in larger cities. Men and women are either conscious of their health and usually in great shape or exactly the opposite direction.

I actually find that the older millennials and up are more health and weight conscious in this area than younger millennials and Gen Z. My young millennial/borderline Gen Z neighbors have big time dad/mom bods despite not having kids. They get a lot of food delivery.

Older millennial women as a group are all obsessed with SITC beauty standards for men and women. It was the thing we all consumed in our 20s. Our late 30s/early 40s are like payback for all of the years we spent living off of booze and raw spinach, wearing skimpy clothing and $600 sky high heels to go out...I can say this as I am one, but I never liked that TV show. I was subjected to it in the sorority house.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if these no-drive men have low T or if they are on SSRIs.

Mine NEEDS a SNRI or other depression/anxiety/adhd med. he may have low t but lacks the head space or executive functioning to get tested for any of it.

When he can be present he’s a good dad. Roommate partner tho.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy, it makes me more depressed to read this thread and see women with low-sex husbands. I wish we had all matched better.

They are likely incel troll posts. Guys will tag anything.

Some guys will tag anything. Some guys are just not that sexually driven. I have plenty of friends that complain their spouses only want sex once a week or month. It messes with women’s minds when they feel like their husbands don’t want them - and they share this with their girlfriends.

And receive sex tips, but rarely empathy because no one believes us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy, it makes me more depressed to read this thread and see women with low-sex husbands. I wish we had all matched better.

They are likely incel troll posts. Guys will tag anything.

Not accurate. Wow. Way to erase women, again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here.

Our sex life is pretty good, but I've had to say goodbye to the BJ.

I offer my services and she accepts, bc I like doing it. And I've asked for the same in return but she declines, saying she prefers to go straight to the action.

It's not a big deal, really, in the big picture. But it kind of sucks. It was a regular part of our life before marriage. But its been YEARS.

I wish it could come back

Do you shower just before sex? Do you pass gas? Do you keep yourself clean? Do you have a big belly and small P? Do you have skin diseases? Do you keep it trimmed? Women are also not attracted to sagging balls or stinky smell. You were young once and you are old now. You are not that attractive anymore, just like your spouse is not attractive.

Lol. Skin diseases?!?! JFC. Big belly & a small D? Not at all. It's not those things. She just says she doesnt like it; I believe her. I just wish it did.

Also, my spouse is hot AF.

And does she think if she goes there she needs to stay until completion? If you don’t care about that part, and she’s assuming that you do, it could be worth some communication?

Anonymous wrote:

Men have known for millennia that the gift of bearing, birthing and raising them children would cause a woman's body to become misshapen and often rounded and even rotund.

Funny, women in other countries have kids, but they’re not quite as fat on average as American women.

ZING!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Although she was thin when we met, dated, married ... I now have a fat wife. And that will never change.

This is such a tired complaint. All the men who cry about this - had they never bothered seeing older women before they married? (Probably they didn't - mothers and grandmothers not really existing because not a focus for sexual attention.)

Men have known for millennia that the gift of bearing, birthing and raising them children would cause a woman's body to become misshapen and often rounded and even rotund. And they have complained bitterly for millennia just the same.

Older women with children who care for a husband and kids AND are still premarital, pre-motherhood slender are outliers. They have always been outliers.

There is a huge difference between middle age weight gain in American from, say, 1960-1990 and the obesity of today.

There is very little middle ground, especially in larger cities. Men and women are either conscious of their health and usually in great shape or exactly the opposite direction.

I actually find that the older millennials and up are more health and weight conscious in this area than younger millennials and Gen Z. My young millennial/borderline Gen Z neighbors have big time dad/mom bods despite not having kids. They get a lot of food delivery.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Although she was thin when we met, dated, married ... I now have a fat wife. And that will never change.

This is such a tired complaint. All the men who cry about this - had they never bothered seeing older women before they married? (Probably they didn't - mothers and grandmothers not really existing because not a focus for sexual attention.)

Men have known for millennia that the gift of bearing, birthing and raising them children would cause a woman's body to become misshapen and often rounded and even rotund. And they have complained bitterly for millennia just the same.

Older women with children who care for a husband and kids AND are still premarital, pre-motherhood slender are outliers. They have always been outliers.

There is a huge difference between middle age weight gain in American from, say, 1960-1990 and the obesity of today.

There is very little middle ground, especially in larger cities. Men and women are either conscious of their health and usually in great shape or exactly the opposite direction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Although she was thin when we met, dated, married ... I now have a fat wife. And that will never change.

This is such a tired complaint. All the men who cry about this - had they never bothered seeing older women before they married? (Probably they didn't - mothers and grandmothers not really existing because not a focus for sexual attention.)

Men have known for millennia that the gift of bearing, birthing and raising them children would cause a woman's body to become misshapen and often rounded and even rotund. And they have complained bitterly for millennia just the same.

Older women with children who care for a husband and kids AND are still premarital, pre-motherhood slender are outliers. They have always been outliers.

That is different than fat.

My SO gained weight and it very much affected my attraction to him. I had to bring it up. It is much better now. It does no use to pretend it doesn't matter.

Anonymous wrote:

Men have known for millennia that the gift of bearing, birthing and raising them children would cause a woman's body to become misshapen and often rounded and even rotund.

Funny, women in other countries have kids, but they’re not quite as fat on average as American women.

Or men. So .... let's just let that argument go, shall we?

ADHD and a lack of grit.

I missed the lack of grit when we were dating and first married - but the signs may have been there.

He constantly needs affirmation, and will randomly comment on how someone gave him a compliment years ago. Nothing is his fault. The slightest obstacle defeats him.

I didn’t realize the grit thing, because he had a successful career, in a competitive field. Now that I’m 20 years older - I realize that as a white, middle-class boomer, working for the federal government, he just hasn’t had the same experience as I have had (non-white, woman, GenX, working in the private sector) even though I had the more privileged upbringing.

It’s come out in the last year or so as he’s retired from his government job and struggled to find a job that he likes.

The lack of a job wouldn’t bother me if he took more ownership of household tasks, but he’s finding that hard to do - likely because his executive functioning skills are awful.

I had a feeling about the ADHD, but it’s gotten worse as he ages and we had a kid. He’s refusing to get help, but acknowledges there’s a problem.

Right now I’m in the appeasement stage- but also setting boundaries for what I take on, and lowering my standards for things.

He puts up with a wife who is 20 lbs overweight with a low sex drive. He doesn’t realize a lot of that is because of stress, a lack of a consistent schedule, and feeling like a I’m a mom to a moody teen - rather than his partner.

Anonymous wrote:

Men have known for millennia that the gift of bearing, birthing and raising them children would cause a woman's body to become misshapen and often rounded and even rotund.

Funny, women in other countries have kids, but they’re not quite as fat on average as American women.

If they are in a developed nation where women have careers, they also have better healthcare, more child care assistance (governmental and/or spousal) and better work life balance.

If they aren’t in a country where women are allowed/expected to have careers/contribute to the HHI in a significant way - they have a better work life balance and don’t need to be working and being the primary parent/household manager. Or have cheap labor they can exploit.

Yes - I know women who are in great shape with 3 kids and successful careers- but 1) they are the outliers to have all three 2) have significant family help or a spouse who can run things at home and/or 3) are barely keeping it together and about to break.

Anonymous wrote:

Men have known for millennia that the gift of bearing, birthing and raising them children would cause a woman's body to become misshapen and often rounded and even rotund.

Funny, women in other countries have kids, but they’re not quite as fat on average as American women.

Apart from countries with famine, overweight and obesity is rising globally - other countries are behind America because they've adopted the global industrialized diet a bit later, but they are fast approaching our levels. We are ALL being poisoned by corporate food products.


But, apart from that - on the issue of women's bodies changing with pregnancy and childbirth and breastfeeding and raising kids while also trying to raise a man, women have always gotten softer and plumper with age in the majority of cases but young men don't notice because to be fair, older women are not women in that sense to most younger men.

Men have known for millennia that the gift of bearing, birthing and raising them children would cause a woman's body to become misshapen and often rounded and even rotund.

Funny, women in other countries have kids, but they’re not quite as fat on average as American women.

Anonymous wrote:Although she was thin when we met, dated, married ... I now have a fat wife. And that will never change.

This is such a tired complaint. All the men who cry about this - had they never bothered seeing older women before they married? (Probably they didn't - mothers and grandmothers not really existing because not a focus for sexual attention.)

Men have known for millennia that the gift of bearing, birthing and raising them children would cause a woman's body to become misshapen and often rounded and even rotund. And they have complained bitterly for millennia just the same.

Older women with children who care for a husband and kids AND are still premarital, pre-motherhood slender are outliers. They have always been outliers.