Screaming poverty when you have no savings and an $800K house you clearly don't have the income for is absurd. They cannot afford the lifestyle and need to sell the house and move to somewhere more affordable.

Anonymous wrote:Note to all

All medical bills are negotiable.

Before paying medical bills call the A/R department to ask them what amount of money they will accept to close out the invoice.

Signed--we had $80,000 in medical bills (this was with Obamacare) and we were able to negotiate the $80,000 down to around $15,000 to close out the invoices. I had to call each vendor that sent us bills: hospital, individual doctors, labs to see how much they would accept to close out each invoice.

I'm the PP with the special needs child with a lot of medical expenses. This is true to some extent, but we are often in the position of having to pay in advance to receive the care because it's known to be a non-covered expense. For us, it's a special need with a rare medical complication. There is a non-profit organization for their particular condition that will help if we found ourselves really unable to pay (they do an asset test) but so far we have been able to. But if you have a child with a chronic condition, you can get things negotiated sometimes, but sometimes not. But I absolutely agree that you should try to negotiate all medical bills. We have had a few whittled down.

Note to all

All medical bills are negotiable.

Before paying medical bills call the A/R department to ask them what amount of money they will accept to close out the invoice.

Signed--we had $80,000 in medical bills (this was with Obamacare) and we were able to negotiate the $80,000 down to around $15,000 to close out the invoices. I had to call each vendor that sent us bills: hospital, individual doctors, labs to see how much they would accept to close out each invoice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Target is honest work. It’s disgusting that people would rather get themselves into debt or max out credit cards instead of working.you easily could get 20k dog watching too. $50 a dog per day.

I don’t understand why they need childcare.

She explained about special needs kids and being unable to lose the spot. Since she already has childcare the smartest thing would be to work for the interim. Ridiculous that some of you think you are above restaurant work or tutoring.

i keep seeing tutoring (and SAT tutoring!) brought up. Why are posters so sure that OP is qualified to tutor--especially on the SAT?
My kid is a senior in high school and I know I've read about SAT tutors on the college forums--parents are paying hundreds of dollars an hour for these tutors! Are these expensive tutors really just random unemployed people with zero training and poor decision making skills?

OP is in a job that is the primary breadwinner over a college professor--I think people are assuming she has a strong educational background. I was qualified to teach SAT classes for Kaplan in college because I scored over the 98th%ile. I knew nothing about how to help people take SATs, I was just a kid who did well on standardized tests. Of course I wasn't a super-pricey tutor, but often the main function of the tutor is to know the test material, a few strategies and to be a nag that isn't the parent.

PP you quoted here. I'm honestly shocked by this! Glad I didn't waste money on tutoring for my kid ( He got a 35 on the ACT.)

Well, they gave us a curriculum to teach by. But, yeah, I taught 4-5 classes at top NYC public/private high schools during the summer--and they even had me take other tests (LSAT, GRE) which I also got top percentile in so I could be hired as a private tutor. I got paid beans too--so obviously standardized test-taking intelligence didn't readily translate to practical intelligence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a million dollar house and no savings? Start driving uber.

Op here. $1.5 million, but yeah. We had savings but it’s been wiped out in the last few months.

Wow. $1.5m and out of emergency funds in a few months even with one person working...talk about house poor.

Op has an ill child. Don’t be cruel. I’m sure they didn’t plan to be in this position.

+1
DP: Their house is worth 1.5m, they didn't pay that much for it. Plus, special needs kids can cost a lot, and more so if their needs have a medical component. It's very hard to anticipate. They often need treatments not well-covered by insurance--it's not unusual for us to rack up 50k in uncovered medical expenses in a given year, not to mention educational/therapeutic expenses. We knew nothing of this when we bought our house, because this is our younger child who was born after we purchased.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Target is honest work. It’s disgusting that people would rather get themselves into debt or max out credit cards instead of working.you easily could get 20k dog watching too. $50 a dog per day.

I don’t understand why they need childcare.

She explained about special needs kids and being unable to lose the spot. Since she already has childcare the smartest thing would be to work for the interim. Ridiculous that some of you think you are above restaurant work or tutoring.

i keep seeing tutoring (and SAT tutoring!) brought up. Why are posters so sure that OP is qualified to tutor--especially on the SAT?
My kid is a senior in high school and I know I've read about SAT tutors on the college forums--parents are paying hundreds of dollars an hour for these tutors! Are these expensive tutors really just random unemployed people with zero training and poor decision making skills?

OP is in a job that is the primary breadwinner over a college professor--I think people are assuming she has a strong educational background. I was qualified to teach SAT classes for Kaplan in college because I scored over the 98th%ile. I knew nothing about how to help people take SATs, I was just a kid who did well on standardized tests. Of course I wasn't a super-pricey tutor, but often the main function of the tutor is to know the test material, a few strategies and to be a nag that isn't the parent.

PP you quoted here. I'm honestly shocked by this! Glad I didn't waste money on tutoring for my kid ( He got a 35 on the ACT.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Target is honest work. It’s disgusting that people would rather get themselves into debt or max out credit cards instead of working.you easily could get 20k dog watching too. $50 a dog per day.

I don’t understand why they need childcare.

She explained about special needs kids and being unable to lose the spot. Since she already has childcare the smartest thing would be to work for the interim. Ridiculous that some of you think you are above restaurant work or tutoring.

i keep seeing tutoring (and SAT tutoring!) brought up. Why are posters so sure that OP is qualified to tutor--especially on the SAT?
My kid is a senior in high school and I know I've read about SAT tutors on the college forums--parents are paying hundreds of dollars an hour for these tutors! Are these expensive tutors really just random unemployed people with zero training and poor decision making skills?

OP is in a job that is the primary breadwinner over a college professor--I think people are assuming she has a strong educational background. I was qualified to teach SAT classes for Kaplan in college because I scored over the 98th%ile. I knew nothing about how to help people take SATs, I was just a kid who did well on standardized tests. Of course I wasn't a super-pricey tutor, but often the main function of the tutor is to know the test material, a few strategies and to be a nag that isn't the parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a million dollar house and no savings? Start driving uber.

Op here. $1.5 million, but yeah. We had savings but it’s been wiped out in the last few months.

Wow. $1.5m and out of emergency funds in a few months even with one person working...talk about house poor.

Op has an ill child. Don’t be cruel. I’m sure they didn’t plan to be in this position.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a million dollar house and no savings? Start driving uber.

Op here. $1.5 million, but yeah. We had savings but it’s been wiped out in the last few months.

Wow. $1.5m and out of emergency funds in a few months even with one person working...talk about house poor.

Op has an ill child. Don’t be cruel. I’m sure they didn’t plan to be in this position.

Anonymous wrote:Just on the picking up an extra job front: In OP's shoes I would not do substitute teaching, McDonald's, or anything else that requires taking a lot of sh*t. Target, Costco, temp work if your coworkers are good, and other jobs are fine. But substituting and fast food really take it out of you. It's hard to job hunt and take care of a special needs kid after spending all day substituting. Also Uber Eats is unlikely to be worth the paycheck unless you really work to optimize it. Tips are unpredictable and it takes gas money and puts miles on your car. People need to be smarter about their side gigs!

Working at places like Target and Costco "really takes it out of you" too. You think Target workers don't take a lot of sh*t?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Target is honest work. It’s disgusting that people would rather get themselves into debt or max out credit cards instead of working.you easily could get 20k dog watching too. $50 a dog per day.

I don’t understand why they need childcare.

She explained about special needs kids and being unable to lose the spot. Since she already has childcare the smartest thing would be to work for the interim. Ridiculous that some of you think you are above restaurant work or tutoring.

i keep seeing tutoring (and SAT tutoring!) brought up. Why are posters so sure that OP is qualified to tutor--especially on the SAT?
My kid is a senior in high school and I know I've read about SAT tutors on the college forums--parents are paying hundreds of dollars an hour for these tutors! Are these expensive tutors really just random unemployed people with zero training and poor decision making skills?

My choice would be to get a part -time job and apply for jobs with the rest of the time. Keep the house and childcare.

If fast food/target feels below her, there are lots of hourly jobs filled with college grads, like bookstores and coffee shops. Tutoring is also a fantastic suggestion and I know tons of people who did this in between jobs, in order to pay their mortgages.

Also, depending on her profession, can she consult somehow?

Getting a loan right now is an extremely risky move that will make them even more house poor, and will negate the "screaming deal" thing.

Years ago, we got th advice to always buy a house that we can afford on one income. Makes life way, way less stressful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be knocking on target or Walmarts door so fast if I were in this situation and figuring out the loan at the wee hours of the morning. Ain’t no way!

Crazy. OP didn't say her income, but she did say it was over her husband's $120K. Let's say she makes $150K. You really think the best route for someone who is laid off from a $150K job is to run to a $38K job at Target??

Permanently? No, of course not. Temporarily, to pay the bills? Yes, absolutely. This is not difficult to understand. People do what they need to do.

OP, since your husband's income doesn't cover your current expenses, it's entirely possible you won't qualify for a HE loan.

I'm sorry to hear about your lay-off and your child's illness. It sounds like you had a bunch of challenges all at once--and that can erode savings. Most of us have had moments where we thought--another repair, a lay-off, an illness would really suck now because the stores ran dry, even if we are generally financially responsible.
If you are very confident you will find work, I would probably take the HELOC, but I would shore up more first so it doesn't compound further if your plans go astray.

As a college professor, your husband usually has ways he can increase his income: consulting, invited speaking, summer teaching, research grants with summer pay, temporary admin assignments, royalties from more lay book publications etc. It would probably be good for your husband to come up with a plan to increase his income by 10-20k/yr--I know this doesn't likely solve your immediate problem, but if you end up with your career search taking longer, it's better to have a plan that's in action to generate income to cover bills. Plus it will be a longer term way to replace savings. I would also encourage he speak to the university about your lay-off/children with special needs, many colleges/universities have hardship loans at reasonable rates. Make sure he adjusts his tax withholding too to reflect the lower joint income.

But in the meantime, I would really cut expenses now--I would shop around auto insurance now that you got rid of a car, check all your subscriptions, go to beans/rice style diet, eat from your pantry, don't go out to eat/order in at all, have buy nothing months etc. I don't know where you have fluff in your budget, but most of us do have some. I think it's great that you're selling things too--gets rid of clutter. Basically if you get the HELOC, every single thing you are buying costs 10% more than it should AND is negatively compounding, so the less you can take in the loan the better. Trim the budget before you get the loan.

If your kid gets medical bills again, put off that debt--that can usually get reworked. Talk to any providers with regular bills (childcare, schools, etc.) to see if they have any hardship payment pause policies. If you don't need them immediately, talk to them anyway--saying you have been laid off, you hope to be employed soon but you want to alert them to the situation and find out any possible flexibilities.

Use the initial time to intensively job hunt, starting now (as well as plan to reduce the budget), but give yourself a timeline. Let everyone you know know you are looking for work, not just your industry contacts/recruiters. If there aren't strong prospects by say Dec 1, have a plan to start temp working--either temp seasonal work or some remote on-line work (tutoring, consulting, whatever is quick and easy for you). People usually don't hire in Dec- early Jan so intensive career hunting isn't worth it then. So have a plan in place. I don't know if you've been laid-off before, but it really is a psychological game. I personally find having benchmarks in place (if no job by x date, reduce spending further in these ways, get a 2nd job etc.) with the numbers all worked out to help me feel confident and in control, which helps with the job search. Good luck!

Sometimes banks will let you make interest only payments on a mortgage during a job search. I would explore that.