Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the rich people I know had parents (or a trust fund) that helped them buy their first property. I would just make sure that you can help all of your children equitably.

I wish my parents had thought this way but instead choose to hoard their money until death.

+1. My parents aren't wealthy (especially not DCUM wealthy) but they are comfortable and could easily have afforded to help with housing. If I'd been able to get into the housing market just a few years earlier, it would have meant tens of thousands (at least) more in equity, potential to move up, etc. Even if it had been contingent on repayment, it would have been such a huge help since I came out of undergrad and law school (without help from parents on either) with student loans.

If you can afford to help them, please do!

My parents are very comfortable but aren’t gifting money other than to reimburse for trips to see them. They are saving it in case it’s needed for long term care. What if they need 24/7 memory care for each of them for 10 years?

NP. People really don't understand this. We are spending 120K out of pocket, after tax dollars to pay for my DH's dad's in-home care. And that isn't full-time care. DH's mom is still alive and can help during transition times between the caregivers, but can't bathe him or care for any physical needs because he is so much heavier than she is. They have too much money for Medicaid, but not enough to pay for help. Their SS income pays for their house expenses and food, health insurance, etc.

I see many families where even "helped" children won't lift a finger for their parents.

We never had help buying a home but we have definitely helped our kids. We are blessed with ample resources and they all live in high COL areas. They will eventually inherit a good amount of money so why not help them now? They have good careers and are smart with their money so I know this isn’t money they will blow.

We saved for private college for 2 kids and then one went to public, and then accepted a generous merit scholarship for grad school, and the other got a merit scholarship for undergrad. By taking these scholarships, we have a ton left over that will be theirs to go towards a home downpayment when the time comes. Being debt free and a young homeowner is a wonderful advantage to have in life even though both make very good salaries. Anyway - this is how we will do it to the tune of about $150,000 each. If kid two goes to grad school the amount will be adjusted somewhat.

I think the best way to help your children is to invest in their children's education. If they don't have children and don't want any, tell them, when you die, they will be able to retire early if there is money left to pass down to them.