Anonymous
09/06/2023 10:34
Subject: DD unintentionally gave 1st grandchild same first name as DH’s AP
I have a couple friends from college who dated who were very, very serious. They went on to marry other people but the woman named her son the same name as her college boyfriend, which I always thought was uncomfortable (I never asked why).
Anonymous
09/06/2023 08:45
Subject: DD unintentionally gave 1st grandchild same first name as DH’s AP
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have three kids: DD (25), DS (22) and DS (18).
Three years ago I discovered DH was cheating on me. He was committed to saving our relationship after the affair came out and I made the decision not to tell the children. They have no idea DH had an affair nor do they know the AP’s name.
DD is expecting what will be our first grandchild and I have been feeling hopeful and happy for the first time in a long time. But today she told us the first name she’d chosen and it’s the same as the AP. I understand this is a coincidence, it’s a somewhat common name. But I’m devastated.
Hearing that name regularly brings up all the anger and rage of DH’s affair. I can’t ask my daughter to change the name? I can’t drop the bomb of WHY I hate this name either. I just have to live with it and fester.
All the joy I had about being a grandmother is gone.
OP, you need some therapy on why you are letting a NAME take away all your joy about a GRANDCHILD. You are letting this old AP have way too much power of your. Just rename the AP some nasty version of the nickname and reclaim this lovely name for your granddaughter.
Because OP is over dramatic.
Classic DCUM: Bash an OP while offering zero actual advice. Thanks for taking time out of your busy day to help the OP!
Anonymous
09/06/2023 08:30
Subject: DD unintentionally gave 1st grandchild same first name as DH’s AP
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have three kids: DD (25), DS (22) and DS (18).
Three years ago I discovered DH was cheating on me. He was committed to saving our relationship after the affair came out and I made the decision not to tell the children. They have no idea DH had an affair nor do they know the AP’s name.
DD is expecting what will be our first grandchild and I have been feeling hopeful and happy for the first time in a long time. But today she told us the first name she’d chosen and it’s the same as the AP. I understand this is a coincidence, it’s a somewhat common name. But I’m devastated.
Hearing that name regularly brings up all the anger and rage of DH’s affair. I can’t ask my daughter to change the name? I can’t drop the bomb of WHY I hate this name either. I just have to live with it and fester.
All the joy I had about being a grandmother is gone.
OP, you need some therapy on why you are letting a NAME take away all your joy about a GRANDCHILD. You are letting this old AP have way too much power of your. Just rename the AP some nasty version of the nickname and reclaim this lovely name for your granddaughter.
Because OP is over dramatic.
Anonymous
09/06/2023 08:29
Subject: DD unintentionally gave 1st grandchild same first name as DH’s AP
Anonymous wrote:In a (short) time the name will come to have new meaning to you. It may even help you move forward to not think of her at all when you hear that name since it will have been subsumed by something much more relevant to your daily life
This. The good of the name will soon outweight the bad of the name. If I hated all Elizabeth's in the world I'd be a sad sad person. So many more good Elizabeths than the "bad" one in my world!!
Anonymous
09/06/2023 07:44
Subject: Re:DD unintentionally gave 1st grandchild same first name as DH’s AP
Anonymous wrote:Going for the win with this response...
OP, my father had an a long affair with someone who had the same name as my oldest sister. As in, my sister was 16 when the affair started. Not a totally common name either.
WTAF?!
I don’t understand why this is a “win.” Names are just names. The issue is that your dad had an affair. Doesn’t matter what her name was. Making a big deal about the name than probably made your sister feel bad about her own name.
Anonymous
09/06/2023 07:23
Subject: Re:DD unintentionally gave 1st grandchild same first name as DH’s AP
Anonymous wrote:My exH cheated on me with someone who had exact same name, and she looked like my mom. Am I supposed to hate my name or my poor mom ???
Big difference in your situation and OP's, though. You are divorced and don't have to live with a DH who cheated. I'm not saying OP is right to want DD to do anything. Just noting that OP and the DH are together and apparently working to stay that way, so it's going to be tougher on her to have in her life what she feels are any reminders of his affair. (Before someone comes after me, again: Yes, OP has to learn to deal, but also has a right to at least own her feelings here.)
Anonymous
09/06/2023 05:11
Subject: Re:DD unintentionally gave 1st grandchild same first name as DH’s AP
If your husband is worth anything he will be honest with your adult children about his affair. And your daughter can decide what she wants to do from there.
Anonymous
09/05/2023 23:59
Subject: Re:DD unintentionally gave 1st grandchild same first name as DH’s AP
Anonymous wrote:Going for the win with this response...
OP, my father had an a long affair with someone who had the same name as my oldest sister. As in, my sister was 16 when the affair started. Not a totally common name either.
WTAF?!
I can top that. 2 different men at different times in my life cheated on me with women with my same name.
That doesn’t change my right to my name or your grandchild’s beatiful name.
Think of the AP with full name (Larla Xxx) and use idea of nickname.
And congratulations- you are going to be a grandmother!
Anonymous
09/05/2023 23:53
Subject: Re:DD unintentionally gave 1st grandchild same first name as DH’s AP
My exH cheated on me with someone who had exact same name, and she looked like my mom. Am I supposed to hate my name or my poor mom ???
Anonymous
09/05/2023 23:28
Subject: DD unintentionally gave 1st grandchild same first name as DH’s AP
Anonymous wrote:Karma has served your husband a giant F U. Enjoy it. Say this baby’s name 195 times a day.
NP. I love this!
Anonymous
09/05/2023 18:36
Subject: DD unintentionally gave 1st grandchild same first name as DH’s AP
Anonymous wrote:I would want to know and I would NOT want my daughter to share her name with a hussy who slept with my father. Like really.
seriously!!! Also I do not like it when people come up with their own names for my children. I know some people think it's cute so maybe that's a fine solution but if I tell somebody by child's name is Larla I don't want to hear her called Lala or something.
Anonymous
09/05/2023 14:47
Subject: DD unintentionally gave 1st grandchild same first name as DH’s AP
Anonymous wrote:I have three kids: DD (25), DS (22) and DS (18).
Three years ago I discovered DH was cheating on me. He was committed to saving our relationship after the affair came out and I made the decision not to tell the children. They have no idea DH had an affair nor do they know the AP’s name.
DD is expecting what will be our first grandchild and I have been feeling hopeful and happy for the first time in a long time. But today she told us the first name she’d chosen and it’s the same as the AP. I understand this is a coincidence, it’s a somewhat common name. But I’m devastated.
Hearing that name regularly brings up all the anger and rage of DH’s affair. I can’t ask my daughter to change the name? I can’t drop the bomb of WHY I hate this name either. I just have to live with it and fester.
All the joy I had about being a grandmother is gone.
OP, you need some therapy on why you are letting a NAME take away all your joy about a GRANDCHILD. You are letting this old AP have way too much power of your. Just rename the AP some nasty version of the nickname and reclaim this lovely name for your granddaughter.
Anonymous
09/05/2023 14:39
Subject: Re:DD unintentionally gave 1st grandchild same first name as DH’s AP
Going for the win with this response...
OP, my father had an a long affair with someone who had the same name as my oldest sister. As in, my sister was 16 when the affair started. Not a totally common name either.
WTAF?!
OP, my father had an a long affair with someone who had the same name as my oldest sister. As in, my sister was 16 when the affair started. Not a totally common name either.
WTAF?!
Anonymous
09/05/2023 12:58
Subject: DD unintentionally gave 1st grandchild same first name as DH’s AP
Pretty soon after that baby arrives, the bad associations with the name will go out the window as you fall in love with your beautiful granddaughter. I can’t think of a better way to expunge the memory of the AP than by replacing it in this way, a fresh start.
Anonymous
09/05/2023 12:50
Subject: DD unintentionally gave 1st grandchild same first name as DH’s AP
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Tell your daughter!
I would never name my first born same name as a parent’s AP.
Nope !
Her daughter is pregnant and doesn't need that kind of stress.
Op can get over a name.
Try getting over sending her daughter to the hospital
He daughter will find out about the affair and the name, it's only a matter of time. This will have long term repercussions..
Worse than a potential miscarriage or premature birth and all those complications?.
The time to tell was years ago.
Now keep mouths shut
Don't discuss the name or the baby might die? How does this lead to miscarriage?