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Anonymous wrote:I went to Europe this summer for 5k for 4. We only go where flights are cheap. This year to Berlin for 1100 for 4

For what, one day? How much did you pay in airfare and what was your destination?

for a week in Berlin. Flew Norse for under 300 per. Recommend!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Europe this summer for 5k for 4. We only go where flights are cheap. This year to Berlin for 1100 for 4

For what, one day? How much did you pay in airfare and what was your destination?

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Anonymous wrote:OP here.
I get that $90K is a rounding error for some on here and two weeks' salaries for others.

But I bet that for most of us, $360K is not an insignificant amount.
And yet we're fighting each other for the privilege of paying it.

We are truly idiots for playing into this. Excuse my insult as I include myself in that group.

So why are you not considering public schools? And doing everything to find merit scholarships? Also it’s not for everyone but ROTC is a great option for some. There are ways to get a great education without paying $80k a year. If people can afford it that’s their decision, like the decision to pay $1 million or more for a house.

NO ROTC for kids with ADHD. Just an FYI . . .

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Anonymous wrote:As the first two responses indicate, one reason people do pay all this money is that if you’re going to blink, you really need to do it early, like when you’re choosing high schools, to avoid massive social and emotional complications.

Good advice. For most of America, there’s no assumption you’ll be able to afford/attend the best school you can get into. But for certain parts of DCUMlandia, it raises eyebrows to tell your kids they can’t go to Harvard even if you get in due to cost. If that’s you, you gotta tell your kids early and often, because they might be in for a rude awakening.

I think it’s so unfair. I was reading the wall at journal article today about the kids going to Harvard needs-blind for free. A kid that was middle class under $150k but in low cost of living area—while of our kids got into these top 10-20 schools we’d have to say you can’t go because we aren’t draining retirement t accounts. We have about $130k in each kid’s 529, but they’d need $345k for these schools. So - yeah it sucks to say sorry you can’t get go while both parents have always worked full-time, no time off. It’s just not an equitable system. These kids going need blind werent first gen they were kids of teachers (one chose to be a substitute-part time teacher).

Anonymous wrote:I went to Europe this summer for 5k for 4. We only go where flights are cheap. This year to Berlin for 1100 for 4

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Anonymous wrote:Yup, we are a full pay family. The money is coming from a 529.

Same. We have put in $10k/year annually since 2005. 19 years of contributions + growth = pretty much entirely covered & can cash flow the rest.

We lived very frugally the first few years; thankfully our financial position improved over time.

Ditto times three. Add in $12k (for our oldest) and $20k (for our middle) merit aid and we have enough to cover undergrad. We’ve driven funky cars and lived in a modest house but this was a priority for us.

Similar story here. Small house on a busy street, buy used cars that we drive till they die, take low budget vacations. Finished paying off our grad school loans just in time for oldest kid to start at a great school, full pay. For us, it's worth the sacrifice.

No doubt much of America can't afford $80k. But I'm amazed at the people like the PP who lives in a $2-3m house and still complains that $80k "would be a bite." I'm sure there's also plenty of multiple $$ vacations each year and top-of-the-line cars. But suddenly they're the strapped middle class when it comes to paying for their kids' educations.

DP here. This is how I feel. Private K-12, nice car/s, house with top of the line renos, etc. and suddenly you are shocked college costs money - and that your kid isn't getting a full ride at Harvard? Say what? Suck it up for your kids, otherwise, what is "worth it"?

I don't know these people. I know people who bought a place 20 years ago for 700 that's now double. No high end renovations. They go see mom 1x a year and maybe Europe (or LA or costa rica) once a year but stay in Airbnbs that are under 200k. They're wondering why they scrimped for 30 years to spend sooooo much of it on 4 years of college instead of half of it for 4 years of college. FWIW, I have friends who did full pay and wouldnt make the same choice again

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Anonymous wrote:If you are in dc don’t you get in state rates at out of state schools since Dc doesn’t have a real in state univ?

Ha, why do so many people think this? So absurd.

DC/Congress provides a $10K/year subsidy.

https://www.thecollegefundingcoach.org/the-myth-of-the-d-c-resident-paying-in-state-tuition/

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Anonymous wrote:Some people pay $50k a year from kindergarten to 12th grade

+1 yup, they are the idiots. I remember a girl going to Stone Ridge and she went to High Point University. Why?!?

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Anonymous wrote:You can do top 50 and not spend 80k. We have on at WM in state and one at a “top-ish” midwestern LAc on merit. But you need to be honest with your kids early on a lot the financial limitations. Mine knew going in some college choices just weren’t available. Still spending over $150k per kid, which isn’t a small amount. BUT, they graduate with no debt. I consider that to be a huge gift because they can make choices about their future without being limited to immediately taking the job that pays the most.

Going to add, does WM give you an advantage over Vanderbilt worth an extra $150k. I’m a grad of a Vandy peer school with a similar ranking and I doubt it. Especially since the cheaper schools means we can subsidize low paying/unpaid internships, study abroad and school year expenses when kids do unpaid research for credit.

Depends on the area of study. If you’re looking for a very competitive consulting or finance career, yes Vanderbilt definitely gives you the edge up and has the better net work.

Govt/policy/international relations and any plans for grad school in other fields W&M is a better choice.

Anonymous wrote:Some people pay $50k a year from kindergarten to 12th grade

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Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the Midwest in an area where going to college was the expectation, but very little prestige given to this school over that. People mostly went public.

But .. there was also an expectation that kids got cars over their own in their teen years (new, nice cars). People cared indeed about brand names. People got married pretty young, bought an home at 30, and had their 3 or 4 kids by the time they were in their mid 30.

My parents were east coast transplants and we had to use the family car when it was free and applied to colleges further afield. We all went to Ivy League schools (in the day when it wasn’t that hard for full pay kids).

And now I live in Brooklyn and see this mania up close.

But as I watch my Midwest friends repeating this cycle I think, that’s a better way. It’s weird how this college thing overtakes a childhood. My old friends had more kids, roomy houses, less financial stress, got a lake house in MI or WI, are on track for retirement, and their kids had carefree childhoods. They all have fulfilling jobs. Their kids will too.

Why do we do this?

This is so interesting. What do you think is going on?

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup, we are a full pay family. The money is coming from a 529.

Same. We have put in $10k/year annually since 2005. 19 years of contributions + growth = pretty much entirely covered & can cash flow the rest.

We lived very frugally the first few years; thankfully our financial position improved over time.

Ditto times three. Add in $12k (for our oldest) and $20k (for our middle) merit aid and we have enough to cover undergrad. We’ve driven funky cars and lived in a modest house but this was a priority for us.

Similar story here. Small house on a busy street, buy used cars that we drive till they die, take low budget vacations. Finished paying off our grad school loans just in time for oldest kid to start at a great school, full pay. For us, it's worth the sacrifice.

No doubt much of America can't afford $80k. But I'm amazed at the people like the PP who lives in a $2-3m house and still complains that $80k "would be a bite." I'm sure there's also plenty of multiple $$ vacations each year and top-of-the-line cars. But suddenly they're the strapped middle class when it comes to paying for their kids' educations.

DP here. This is how I feel. Private K-12, nice car/s, house with top of the line renos, etc. and suddenly you are shocked college costs money - and that your kid isn't getting a full ride at Harvard? Say what? Suck it up for your kids, otherwise, what is "worth it"?