Anonymous
08/20/2023 22:24
Subject: What is the defining trauma of your life?
Multiple traumas, but the one that has been defining has been having a toxic narcissist mother. No amount of therapy completely overcomes the impact of being neglected and abused by a parent who is incapable of love.
Anonymous
08/20/2023 22:01
Subject: Re:What is the defining trauma of your life?
2 of my closest friends died at young ages, both very unexpected (one was suicide at age 21 but no one knew how depressed she was/she seemed happy to even close family/friends; one was a brain aneurysm at age 25)
Anonymous
08/20/2023 22:00
Subject: What is the defining trauma of your life?
My mentally ill sibling's constant need for attention - their many challenges in life made it so my parents had very little time for me after dealing with her issues. They spent all resources on this sibling, who in the end is a narcissist who stopped talking to almost everyone in our family.
Losing the person whom I thought I would marry to suicide. I am not sure I trust myself to find the right person and maybe I am irretrievably broken.
Losing the person whom I thought I would marry to suicide. I am not sure I trust myself to find the right person and maybe I am irretrievably broken.
Anonymous
08/20/2023 21:57
Subject: What is the defining trauma of your life?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My mom locked me in a basement and held the door while my aunts and uncles pounded on the door, yelled help, and pretended to break in through a tiny basement window. I was 7 or 8. I thought my extended family (mom, at least 5 aunts and uncles, sister, 2 cousins) was being murdered or something terrible and I was either next or the only one left. Then instead of apologizing, they made fun of me for not realizing it was a joke. Even as an adult, they’d make fun of me for my response because I cried.
Absolutely horrible
+1. This is so incredibly cruel, and from your family too. I'm so sorry.
It's not just cruel, it's weird and odd of a thing to do. I don't get it. Almost to the point where I feel like, could they be saying that to reassure you/lie/protect you from someting that really was indeed happening? but they still tease you which is really weird
We are a 'prank' family. I definitely remember tears at times as a kid. I didn't like it. We have them in our family, but I waited for the kids to be school aged before we did any and now we keep it friendly/fun, but if anyone gets upset - we stop immediately. Fingers-crossed this works to mitigate any cruelty. We are still in ES, so we will see.
Why though? Why not not mitigate any cruelty by not being a prank family?
Idiotic practice that preys on the trusting.
Exactly this. Preys on kids for being trusting. Or, as the prankers say, “gullible”. Why would you ever do that to your children.
Anonymous
08/20/2023 21:56
Subject: What is the defining trauma of your life?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My mom locked me in a basement and held the door while my aunts and uncles pounded on the door, yelled help, and pretended to break in through a tiny basement window. I was 7 or 8. I thought my extended family (mom, at least 5 aunts and uncles, sister, 2 cousins) was being murdered or something terrible and I was either next or the only one left. Then instead of apologizing, they made fun of me for not realizing it was a joke. Even as an adult, they’d make fun of me for my response because I cried.
Absolutely horrible
+1. This is so incredibly cruel, and from your family too. I'm so sorry.
It's not just cruel, it's weird and odd of a thing to do. I don't get it. Almost to the point where I feel like, could they be saying that to reassure you/lie/protect you from someting that really was indeed happening? but they still tease you which is really weird
We are a 'prank' family. I definitely remember tears at times as a kid. I didn't like it. We have them in our family, but I waited for the kids to be school aged before we did any and now we keep it friendly/fun, but if anyone gets upset - we stop immediately. Fingers-crossed this works to mitigate any cruelty. We are still in ES, so we will see.
Why not just…. Not do pranks???
Every year my mom would randomly tell me it was a snow day if I came downstairs in the morning in winter. And then when I ran to the window she’d be like “just kidding!!! But I did make you pancakes!” It makes me so angry just thinking about it. I don’t understand why anyone thinks this sort of thing is funny.
Anonymous
08/20/2023 21:53
Subject: What is the defining trauma of your life?
Anonymous wrote:Welp, I’ll just see myself out with what I previously thought was traumatic…
Likewise
Anonymous
08/20/2023 21:40
Subject: What is the defining trauma of your life?
My son's mental illness has been an ongoing trauma for me. It's exhausting, and I have done everything I could think of to try to help him - but none of it has been very effective. He's a teenager, and I am terrified about what will happen when he is a legal adult.
Anonymous
08/20/2023 21:36
Subject: What is the defining trauma of your life?
When one of my closest friends died on 9/11. I've had a pretty easy life overall, and I know it, but that was really, really hard for me.
Anonymous
08/20/2023 20:37
Subject: Re:What is the defining trauma of your life?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Childhood sexual abuse
Childhood illness where I nearly died
Murder
Another murder
TBI
Married a narcissist that eventually raped me
Kids with special needs
IEP meetings
Autoimmune disease that took nearly 20 years to diagnose while doctors told me it was all in my head. I’ve been sick for so long.
It's "who" not "that" when you refer to a person. "That" is for objects, "who" is for people.
That's your takeaway? I'm concerned about your reading comprehension skills.
Anonymous
08/20/2023 17:18
Subject: Re:What is the defining trauma of your life?
Anonymous wrote:Cancer. Total loss of medical innocence. Every ache and pain is now a reason to worry. Life feels like a countdown until recurrence now.
Hugs, PP.
I feel this in my bones, with my father’s cancer. He is screened every other year, and the weeks leading up to the day are daunting. I dread the day of, waiting by the phone for my mom to call and tell me his fate. It’s a nightmare.
Anonymous
08/20/2023 15:40
Subject: Re:What is the defining trauma of your life?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Childhood sexual abuse
Childhood illness where I nearly died
Murder
Another murder
TBI
Married a narcissist that eventually raped me
Kids with special needs
IEP meetings
Autoimmune disease that took nearly 20 years to diagnose while doctors told me it was all in my head. I’ve been sick for so long.
It's "who" not "that" when you refer to a person. "That" is for objects, "who" is for people.
np This is not the time to correct someone's grammer!
Congratulations. It's GRAMMAR
Anonymous
08/20/2023 15:25
Subject: What is the defining trauma of your life?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My mom locked me in a basement and held the door while my aunts and uncles pounded on the door, yelled help, and pretended to break in through a tiny basement window. I was 7 or 8. I thought my extended family (mom, at least 5 aunts and uncles, sister, 2 cousins) was being murdered or something terrible and I was either next or the only one left. Then instead of apologizing, they made fun of me for not realizing it was a joke. Even as an adult, they’d make fun of me for my response because I cried.
Absolutely horrible
+1. This is so incredibly cruel, and from your family too. I'm so sorry.
It's not just cruel, it's weird and odd of a thing to do. I don't get it. Almost to the point where I feel like, could they be saying that to reassure you/lie/protect you from someting that really was indeed happening? but they still tease you which is really weird
We are a 'prank' family. I definitely remember tears at times as a kid. I didn't like it. We have them in our family, but I waited for the kids to be school aged before we did any and now we keep it friendly/fun, but if anyone gets upset - we stop immediately. Fingers-crossed this works to mitigate any cruelty. We are still in ES, so we will see.
Pranks are stupid and erode trust even is the pranks aren't cruel. Honestly, just grow up and stop.
Anonymous
08/20/2023 15:22
Subject: What is the defining trauma of your life?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My mom locked me in a basement and held the door while my aunts and uncles pounded on the door, yelled help, and pretended to break in through a tiny basement window. I was 7 or 8. I thought my extended family (mom, at least 5 aunts and uncles, sister, 2 cousins) was being murdered or something terrible and I was either next or the only one left. Then instead of apologizing, they made fun of me for not realizing it was a joke. Even as an adult, they’d make fun of me for my response because I cried.
Absolutely horrible
+1. This is so incredibly cruel, and from your family too. I'm so sorry.
It's not just cruel, it's weird and odd of a thing to do. I don't get it. Almost to the point where I feel like, could they be saying that to reassure you/lie/protect you from someting that really was indeed happening? but they still tease you which is really weird
We are a 'prank' family. I definitely remember tears at times as a kid. I didn't like it. We have them in our family, but I waited for the kids to be school aged before we did any and now we keep it friendly/fun, but if anyone gets upset - we stop immediately. Fingers-crossed this works to mitigate any cruelty. We are still in ES, so we will see.
Why though? Why not not mitigate any cruelty by not being a prank family?
Idiotic practice that preys on the trusting.
Anonymous
08/20/2023 15:13
Subject: What is the defining trauma of your life?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My mom locked me in a basement and held the door while my aunts and uncles pounded on the door, yelled help, and pretended to break in through a tiny basement window. I was 7 or 8. I thought my extended family (mom, at least 5 aunts and uncles, sister, 2 cousins) was being murdered or something terrible and I was either next or the only one left. Then instead of apologizing, they made fun of me for not realizing it was a joke. Even as an adult, they’d make fun of me for my response because I cried.
Absolutely horrible
+1. This is so incredibly cruel, and from your family too. I'm so sorry.
It's not just cruel, it's weird and odd of a thing to do. I don't get it. Almost to the point where I feel like, could they be saying that to reassure you/lie/protect you from someting that really was indeed happening? but they still tease you which is really weird
We are a 'prank' family. I definitely remember tears at times as a kid. I didn't like it. We have them in our family, but I waited for the kids to be school aged before we did any and now we keep it friendly/fun, but if anyone gets upset - we stop immediately. Fingers-crossed this works to mitigate any cruelty. We are still in ES, so we will see.
Why though? Why not not mitigate any cruelty by not being a prank family?
Anonymous
08/20/2023 15:09
Subject: What is the defining trauma of your life?
I associate “prank” families with lesser-educated poor people. Maybe I’m stereotyping?