Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guilty of destination wedding (hours away) but gave +1, +2, accommodated friends of family with champagne toast but cash bar.
we had to budget but splurged with everything else big time.

This is pretty bad. You have people travel and won't even pay for their drinks? I can't imagine what else you splurged on big time that would make up for a cash bar.

paid top hotels and travel of everyone invited

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Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)


6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!

We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.

I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.

+1 I married at 24 and my mom was in charge of most of this stuff, and her rule was that if you were in a relationship (or married obviously) you got a +1 but if you weren’t, you didn’t. I still think it’s pretty fair and it only caused one minor issue.

But at 24 things can change quickly. You can be single 6 months before the wedding when the guest list is drawn up and in a serious relationship by the time the wedding rolls around. Adding a +1 avoids the awkwardness of having to ask if you can bring your significant other.

Well, that's also a little unfair to the bride and groom. Things change quickly so you may go from having a date to the wedding to not having a date to the wedding, and the hosts don't want to pay for (nor have optics of) empty table settings. In no other circumstance would you expect a friend to shell out $100 a plate to feed someone you may barely know, and if you're 24, chances are the couple is on a tight budget.

Asking your friend to leave their s/o behind because of your "tight budget" is rude. And what kind of significant other do you barely know? That would be an insignificant other.

This was in response to someone saying that their relationship status changes quickly at age 24. If invites go out 2 months before the wedding and people need a +1 just in case they go from single to seeing someone, then bride and groom likely won’t know the s/o.

The wedding is planned long before the invites go out with the headcount in mind. Just because your friend was planned 6 months to a year before the invites go out doesn't mean they remain single.

I meant "single" of course. And obviously things change, couples break up, someone might not bring a +1, and others might bring a new boyfriend/girlfriend. It's not going to greatly impact the numbers one way or the other to just do a +1.

Anonymous wrote:Guilty of destination wedding (hours away) but gave +1, +2, accommodated friends of family with champagne toast but cash bar.
we had to budget but splurged with everything else big time.

This is pretty bad. You have people travel and won't even pay for their drinks? I can't imagine what else you splurged on big time that would make up for a cash bar.

Biggest offenses

No children allowed. This is sad. Weddings are for celebrating vows with family and friends.

Registry takes you to a website that the bride and groom will accept cash only gifts. This is tacky and gauche and a money grab. Many people will give cash gifts voluntarily but demanding cash only gifts is beyond tacky.

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)


6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!

We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.

I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.

+1 I married at 24 and my mom was in charge of most of this stuff, and her rule was that if you were in a relationship (or married obviously) you got a +1 but if you weren’t, you didn’t. I still think it’s pretty fair and it only caused one minor issue.

But at 24 things can change quickly. You can be single 6 months before the wedding when the guest list is drawn up and in a serious relationship by the time the wedding rolls around. Adding a +1 avoids the awkwardness of having to ask if you can bring your significant other.

Well, that's also a little unfair to the bride and groom. Things change quickly so you may go from having a date to the wedding to not having a date to the wedding, and the hosts don't want to pay for (nor have optics of) empty table settings. In no other circumstance would you expect a friend to shell out $100 a plate to feed someone you may barely know, and if you're 24, chances are the couple is on a tight budget.

Asking your friend to leave their s/o behind because of your "tight budget" is rude. And what kind of significant other do you barely know? That would be an insignificant other.

This was in response to someone saying that their relationship status changes quickly at age 24. If invites go out 2 months before the wedding and people need a +1 just in case they go from single to seeing someone, then bride and groom likely won’t know the s/o.

The wedding is planned long before the invites go out with the headcount in mind. Just because your friend was planned 6 months to a year before the invites go out doesn't mean they remain single.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)


6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!

We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.

I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.

+1 I married at 24 and my mom was in charge of most of this stuff, and her rule was that if you were in a relationship (or married obviously) you got a +1 but if you weren’t, you didn’t. I still think it’s pretty fair and it only caused one minor issue.

But at 24 things can change quickly. You can be single 6 months before the wedding when the guest list is drawn up and in a serious relationship by the time the wedding rolls around. Adding a +1 avoids the awkwardness of having to ask if you can bring your significant other.

We gave a +1 to all the adults we invited, but then my siblings got pissy because we didn't invite their teenage kids' boyfriends/girlfriends. We finally compromised and said the boyfriends/girlfriends could come to the reception after dinner was over. It ended up being fine but now I have about 50 photos of random teenagers from the photobooth. (As you can imagine, 15 years later none of them are still together...)

Your siblings were out of line and entitled.

On the other end of the spectrum, my DH's old female friend tracked him down after losing touch for years, only to send him an invitation without a +1. When he mentioned that he was in a serious relationship with me (months from married ourselves), she was still, "Nope, don't have room, but looking forward to seeing you." It was bizarre how she went through all the trouble of tracking him down (without knowing his relationship status), and then held firm on a technicality (we weren't married yet).

No-kids weddings - how you gonna exclude family
Dry weddings - come on
Weddings of couples who ask for cash- don't be greedy
Destination weddings don't bother me unless its one I can't go to

Guilty of destination wedding (hours away) but gave +1, +2, accommodated friends of family with champagne toast but cash bar.
we had to budget but splurged with everything else big time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)


6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!

We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.

I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.

+1 I married at 24 and my mom was in charge of most of this stuff, and her rule was that if you were in a relationship (or married obviously) you got a +1 but if you weren’t, you didn’t. I still think it’s pretty fair and it only caused one minor issue.

But at 24 things can change quickly. You can be single 6 months before the wedding when the guest list is drawn up and in a serious relationship by the time the wedding rolls around. Adding a +1 avoids the awkwardness of having to ask if you can bring your significant other.

We gave a +1 to all the adults we invited, but then my siblings got pissy because we didn't invite their teenage kids' boyfriends/girlfriends. We finally compromised and said the boyfriends/girlfriends could come to the reception after dinner was over. It ended up being fine but now I have about 50 photos of random teenagers from the photobooth. (As you can imagine, 15 years later none of them are still together...)

Anonymous wrote:What is the difference in asking for cash and creating a list of items you want from a particular store (ie, a registry)?

The invitation should refer to neither of those things.

What the f is a potluck wedding?
I would decline the s!!! out of that

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)


6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!

We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.

I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.

+1 I married at 24 and my mom was in charge of most of this stuff, and her rule was that if you were in a relationship (or married obviously) you got a +1 but if you weren’t, you didn’t. I still think it’s pretty fair and it only caused one minor issue.

But at 24 things can change quickly. You can be single 6 months before the wedding when the guest list is drawn up and in a serious relationship by the time the wedding rolls around. Adding a +1 avoids the awkwardness of having to ask if you can bring your significant other.

That was the only issue. I had one good friend in a serious relationship who broke up with the guy post RSVP, then re-RSVPd as just herself with no issue (and she met someone at the wedding!) And I had one friend who we knew had split up with his fiancée before the invitations went out, so he got no +1 and complained. Turns out he had already started dating his current wife (this is all 25 years ago) and wanted to bring her but no one had met her yet so we said no. He was a little salty for a bit but a couple months later it was fine - we are still very good friends now. I would say yes now in retrospect but I wasn’t totally in charge at the time.

What is the difference in asking for cash and creating a list of items you want from a particular store (ie, a registry)?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)


6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!

We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.

I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.

+1 I married at 24 and my mom was in charge of most of this stuff, and her rule was that if you were in a relationship (or married obviously) you got a +1 but if you weren’t, you didn’t. I still think it’s pretty fair and it only caused one minor issue.

But at 24 things can change quickly. You can be single 6 months before the wedding when the guest list is drawn up and in a serious relationship by the time the wedding rolls around. Adding a +1 avoids the awkwardness of having to ask if you can bring your significant other.

Well, that's also a little unfair to the bride and groom. Things change quickly so you may go from having a date to the wedding to not having a date to the wedding, and the hosts don't want to pay for (nor have optics of) empty table settings. In no other circumstance would you expect a friend to shell out $100 a plate to feed someone you may barely know, and if you're 24, chances are the couple is on a tight budget.

Asking your friend to leave their s/o behind because of your "tight budget" is rude. And what kind of significant other do you barely know? That would be an insignificant other.

This was in response to someone saying that their relationship status changes quickly at age 24. If invites go out 2 months before the wedding and people need a +1 just in case they go from single to seeing someone, then bride and groom likely won’t know the s/o.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)


6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!

We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.

I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.

+1 I married at 24 and my mom was in charge of most of this stuff, and her rule was that if you were in a relationship (or married obviously) you got a +1 but if you weren’t, you didn’t. I still think it’s pretty fair and it only caused one minor issue.

But at 24 things can change quickly. You can be single 6 months before the wedding when the guest list is drawn up and in a serious relationship by the time the wedding rolls around. Adding a +1 avoids the awkwardness of having to ask if you can bring your significant other.

Gimme a break. You think that every single person should have a plus one in order to avoid the so-called "awkwardness" of one or two people having to ask ask a good friend to bring their significant other to the wedding? That's absurd.

Meh, have the size wedding you can afford. If you can't do a +1 for your friends, you're inviting too many people.

+1 and honestly a lot of single people may not choose to bring a guest but they should be given the option.