Anonymous wrote: just got a wedding invitation from my cousin who is getting married for the first time in his 50s. I was addressed as
"Mr. and Mrs. (husbands name.)"
I am appalled.

Pretty sure addressed mine this way 20 years ago

Anonymous wrote:I thought the whole point was that people could be called or addressed as they liked. Now they need to justify it to you?

You are giving the same vibes as the feminists who are all about "choice" but hate nonstop on SAHMs.

I’m a SAHM and I hate the whole Mrs. Thing. I especially hate when women go by their husband’s first name after, too…”Mrs. John Smith.”

Anonymous wrote:There will be many women growing old alone. They'll be living in cardboard boxes, but at least they'll be a Ms.

Don't threaten me with a good time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: just got a wedding invitation from my cousin who is getting married for the first time in his 50s. I was addressed as
"Mr. and Mrs. (husbands name.)"
I am appalled.

Because that is what current etiquette says is the proper formal address and that is considered courteous to use.

It's not courteous if the wife never changed her name, and it's not current etiquette because it's not 1950 anymore.

Dp
I guess they didn't want to write out Mr. Bob Loblaw and Mrs. Larlina Pendergast and I don't blame them for a married couple. For Christmas cards it's easier to say Loblaw family but Loblaw-Pendergast family might be better unless nobody hyphenates, would that be a faux pas or acceptable? Loblaw and Pendergast family?

What is wrong with Mr Loblaw & Mrs Pendergast? Less letters than Loblaw and Pendergast family

You are ONLY addressed as Mrs. If you took your husbands name.

It would be Mr. Loblaw and Ms. Pendergast

Still better than Mrs Bob Loblaw

There will be many women growing old alone. They'll be living in cardboard boxes, but at least they'll be a Ms.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: just got a wedding invitation from my cousin who is getting married for the first time in his 50s. I was addressed as
"Mr. and Mrs. (husbands name.)"
I am appalled.

Because that is what current etiquette says is the proper formal address and that is considered courteous to use.

It's not courteous if the wife never changed her name, and it's not current etiquette because it's not 1950 anymore.

Dp
I guess they didn't want to write out Mr. Bob Loblaw and Mrs. Larlina Pendergast and I don't blame them for a married couple. For Christmas cards it's easier to say Loblaw family but Loblaw-Pendergast family might be better unless nobody hyphenates, would that be a faux pas or acceptable? Loblaw and Pendergast family?

What is wrong with Mr Loblaw & Mrs Pendergast? Less letters than Loblaw and Pendergast family

You are ONLY addressed as Mrs. If you took your husbands name.

It would be Mr. Loblaw and Ms. Pendergast

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: just got a wedding invitation from my cousin who is getting married for the first time in his 50s. I was addressed as
"Mr. and Mrs. (husbands name.)"
I am appalled.

Because that is what current etiquette says is the proper formal address and that is considered courteous to use.

It's not courteous if the wife never changed her name, and it's not current etiquette because it's not 1950 anymore.

Dp
I guess they didn't want to write out Mr. Bob Loblaw and Mrs. Larlina Pendergast and I don't blame them for a married couple. For Christmas cards it's easier to say Loblaw family but Loblaw-Pendergast family might be better unless nobody hyphenates, would that be a faux pas or acceptable? Loblaw and Pendergast family?

What is wrong with Mr Loblaw & Mrs Pendergast? Less letters than Loblaw and Pendergast family

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: just got a wedding invitation from my cousin who is getting married for the first time in his 50s. I was addressed as
"Mr. and Mrs. (husbands name.)"
I am appalled.

Because that is what current etiquette says is the proper formal address and that is considered courteous to use.

It's not courteous if the wife never changed her name, and it's not current etiquette because it's not 1950 anymore.

Dp
I guess they didn't want to write out Mr. Bob Loblaw and Mrs. Larlina Pendergast and I don't blame them for a married couple. For Christmas cards it's easier to say Loblaw family but Loblaw-Pendergast family might be better unless nobody hyphenates, would that be a faux pas or acceptable? Loblaw and Pendergast family?

At one school all the teachers went by Mrs. I was initially surprised to hear from the kids some of their teachers were unmarried but using Mrs. I wasn't put-off and just thought I was out of the loop in what moniker was in fashion. From this thread, it sounds like it was just a decision in that school and not a spreading trend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: just got a wedding invitation from my cousin who is getting married for the first time in his 50s. I was addressed as
"Mr. and Mrs. (husbands name.)"
I am appalled.

When I got married in 2000, I was told to address envelopes this way. Even then I realized it was offensive. It feels like an invitation to a man and his extra appendage.

Told by who?

Couldn't you afford the ink to write both names?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: just got a wedding invitation from my cousin who is getting married for the first time in his 50s. I was addressed as
"Mr. and Mrs. (husbands name.)"
I am appalled.

Because that is what current etiquette says is the proper formal address and that is considered courteous to use.

It's not courteous if the wife never changed her name, and it's not current etiquette because it's not 1950 anymore.

Anonymous wrote:I thought the whole point was that people could be called or addressed as they liked. Now they need to justify it to you?

You are giving the same vibes as the feminists who are all about "choice" but hate nonstop on SAHMs.

This. Close the thread, no other comment is better than this one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ive not really thought about this. Men are always Mr, married, single divorced. Seems like women should be referred to by a similarly relationship neutral term.

The only time I ever have to select one is when booking flights. I think I just put Ms. I didnt change my last name so I'm never sure what Im supposed to put.

Only now because the language evolved. A couple of hundred years ago, Mister meant married head of household. Master was the term used for unmarried or dependent men. The language evolved to use Mister for all men regardless of marital status or dependency. Just like the language has evolved to use Ms. (Miz) for all women regardless of marital status.

But all said, freedom of expression means that each individual gets to decide which term/practice they wish to use.

Like "master Will" in Fresh Prince of Bel Air, that is what Jeffrey called him

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ms is bad because its pronunciation is bad.

"Missus" is a good pronunciation but "Mrs." already has that for spelling, as stupid that is. So, we are stuck.

Agree with this. The spoken Miz is unpleasant. I default to Ms. when sending emails to women I don’t know unless I’ve seen them use anything else somewhere (on teachers’ class websites, etc.)

I’m old enough that it’s slightly annoying to be called “miss” by service people instead of ma’am. But I don’t think any of this is taught anymore anyway.

I think it's a regional thing--growing up in the northeast (well at least in the 80s and 90s) we didn't say ma'am--in a really informal way when appropriate one would say "hey miss" (no matter the age) or something like that when trying to get a lady's attention such as in a store and looking for help from an associate. A few years ago Mike Bloomberg was at a press conference for something and when he would call on a female reporter who raised her hand he would say "yes miss" (yes bad example given what he has been accuses of but that is an unrelated issue).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: just got a wedding invitation from my cousin who is getting married for the first time in his 50s. I was addressed as
"Mr. and Mrs. (husbands name.)"
I am appalled.

Because that is what current etiquette says is the proper formal address and that is considered courteous to use.

Try again