Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would avoid indulging in fantasies about fringe scenarios and focus on helping my family with their actual everyday challenges.

the possibility of a home invasion is very real, even in nice neighborhoods.

My DD is highly anxious, and she talks about what would happen if someone broke into the house. So, I have to go through scenarios with her.

How many people do you personally know have been victims of a home invasion? I know of NONE and I live in a nice neighborhood in West LA. There have been break-ins while people were away, thefts of bikes, outdoor decor and catalytic converters, but no home invasions. I have a house alarm, well-lit home and driveway, and lock up consistently. We do not drive luxury vehicles, wear expensive jewelry, accessories or clothing that would draw the attention of thieves. Maybe the answer to the anxiety of child left alone is to make sure they are alone less?

I used to live in LA, and someone tried to break into our sfh when one of us was home.

My DD is 15. I'm not going to not leave her home alone for a few hours because of her anxiety. Rather, I walk her through her anxiety and play what ifs to try to make her feel better and giver her actionable items to help her deal with her anxiety.

You have obviously never had an anxious child. So, I don't think I'll take advice from you, but thanks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but I’m not of the school that thinks a man should leave his family to the tender mercies of psychopaths while he runs outside to hide or make noise and pretend to be the police, who, by the way, are as likely as not to blast him when they see him in the bushes or jumping up and down in the street.

So you think that even though confronting burglars is far more likely to result in injury or death or trauma that the dad should do that because its more manly? I mean I think one parent goes out the window and one parent tries to get to the kid in a normal situation. In THIS situation, the kid has a door in a CLOSET that leads to an attic. The kid has an EXCELLENT protective safety plan. The parents are more likely to expose the kid by going to her.

If this is THAT big an issue what really should happen is some type of communication between rooms, IE, some alarm parents can trigger to alert the daughter that someone might be in the house. There is no safer place for the kid than to use her escape hatch into an attic that is only accessible through a bedroom closet. Unless the burglar knows the house intimately, they aren't going to find the kid before the police come. So in THIS situation, everyone is better off by alerting the kid via phone/intercom/something to get into the attic and parents jumping out the window together. The house appears empty, they can call the police.

Saying dad should go start throwing punches because its more manly is just incredibly stupid. Mom's plan, while instinctually I understand it, is very stupid and increases the likelihood for people to get hurt and for the kid to witness someone she loves get hurt or killed.

I never suggested punches.

This is what OP suggested:

I would try to distract the burglars, give them our valuables, and focus on staying calm and keeping my daughter out of danger. Should it ever get very bad, I would not hesitate to sacrifice myself in order to save my child.

That to me does not read like a thought out plan, it looks emotional and like it will increase the liklihood of someone getting hurt. I guess from your ominous tone you believe the manly thing is to shoot the people. I don't think any valuable is really worth a person's life and if my husband chose violence over smart choices just to look tough I would be really disappointed in him.

It’s not the “valuables.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a dog. Even a small one. The barking will deter.

That's a complete joke. Only a dog that is an actual threat will deter. Get a German Shepherd, Rottweiler, Doberman, or any other working breed known to be used by K9 Units.

Nonsense. Nobody wants even a tally little dog chewing on them.

Anonymous wrote:If this OP is genuine, she’s posted so many identifying details that someone in that school community is sure to identify their family. Yikes.

DP. I don't think so because HW is a large school and most students are from a few zipcodes.

If this OP is genuine, she’s posted so many identifying details that someone in that school community is sure to identify their family. Yikes.

Anonymous wrote:Get a dog. Even a small one. The barking will deter.

That's a complete joke. Only a dog that is an actual threat will deter. Get a German Shepherd, Rottweiler, Doberman, or any other working breed known to be used by K9 Units.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will get my gun first. Won’t hesitate to shoot.

Tough guy

It's called protecting what's yours. Not interested in being a tough guy but will protect my home.

Anonymous wrote:I've thought this through, sadly. We also have a full house alarm system and a big dog. If someone came in at night, I would grab my children and hide them in my walk-in closet behind the hanging clothes (they hang low) with a cell phone and put them on 911. They would be instructed not to leave that room no matter what they hear happening outside. The only time they should come out is if me or my husband tells them it's ok or if the police are there.

This would buy them some time while my husband or I confront the intruders and the police show up (prob about 10 mins).

Breed? Have you seen the video clips of how useless 99% of dogs are when someone enters the home unannounced? If you have a Golden, Lab, etc. don't fool yourself.

They aren’t going to stop until they start getting shot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Nobody seems to have picked up on anything strange regarding my husband's planned reaction. He would flee the house and leave our daughter in the house together with the burglars.

In my opinion this would greatly increase the risk of an encounter between our daughter and the burglars. The likelihood is low that the police would get there in time.

I could never do this, and consider his attitude extremely cowardly. I am stunned that he would put his safety and well-being above that of our daughter.

Does anybody feel like that or am I crazy?

You've thought about this way, way too much. Also, you're a troll.

Maybe OP is trying out scenarios for a piece of fiction she’s writing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but I’m not of the school that thinks a man should leave his family to the tender mercies of psychopaths while he runs outside to hide or make noise and pretend to be the police, who, by the way, are as likely as not to blast him when they see him in the bushes or jumping up and down in the street.

So you think that even though confronting burglars is far more likely to result in injury or death or trauma that the dad should do that because its more manly? I mean I think one parent goes out the window and one parent tries to get to the kid in a normal situation. In THIS situation, the kid has a door in a CLOSET that leads to an attic. The kid has an EXCELLENT protective safety plan. The parents are more likely to expose the kid by going to her.

If this is THAT big an issue what really should happen is some type of communication between rooms, IE, some alarm parents can trigger to alert the daughter that someone might be in the house. There is no safer place for the kid than to use her escape hatch into an attic that is only accessible through a bedroom closet. Unless the burglar knows the house intimately, they aren't going to find the kid before the police come. So in THIS situation, everyone is better off by alerting the kid via phone/intercom/something to get into the attic and parents jumping out the window together. The house appears empty, they can call the police.

Saying dad should go start throwing punches because its more manly is just incredibly stupid. Mom's plan, while instinctually I understand it, is very stupid and increases the likelihood for people to get hurt and for the kid to witness someone she loves get hurt or killed.

I never suggested punches.

This is what OP suggested:

I would try to distract the burglars, give them our valuables, and focus on staying calm and keeping my daughter out of danger. Should it ever get very bad, I would not hesitate to sacrifice myself in order to save my child.

That to me does not read like a thought out plan, it looks emotional and like it will increase the liklihood of someone getting hurt. I guess from your ominous tone you believe the manly thing is to shoot the people. I don't think any valuable is really worth a person's life and if my husband chose violence over smart choices just to look tough I would be really disappointed in him.

Sounds as if you've never encountered burglars like these. It's why we have a dog, although he could get shot, too.
https://www.wsbtv.com/news/local/south-fulton-county/3-men-on-trial-for-killing-woman-hiding-in-closet-during-home-invasion/455783527/

You're right I haven't, because home invasions like that are extremely rare. I also have a dog that would scare the crap out of the average person.

Some stats, to put this risk in context:

An estimated 3.7 million burglaries occurred each year on average from 2003 to 2007. - Using a stat of roughly 140M households in the US this translates into 2% of households being burgled in some way (everything from home invasion to having a bike stolen)

*A household member was present in roughly 1 million burglaries and became victims of violent crimes in 266,560 burglaries. - This means only 7% of burglaries result in a household member being a victim of violence. 7% of 2% translates to a personal risk of .1% chance, certainly higher or lower depending on where you live

*Offenders were known to their victims in 65% of violent burglaries; offenders were strangers in 28%. - IF you do experience violence in a burglary it is almost certainly at the hands of someone you know

*Overall, 61% of offenders were unarmed when violence occurred during a burglary while a resident was present. About 12% of all households violently burglarized while someone was home faced an offender armed with a firearm. - 12% of households who were burglarized WHILE someone was home translates to 120,000 roughly.

*Serious injury accounted for 9% and minor injury accounted for 36% of injuries sustained by household members who were home and experienced violence during a completed burglary. - So even if you are in a burglary where there is violence you only have a .006% chance of being seriously injured if you are being burgled

Source: https://bjs.ojp.gov/content/pub/ascii/vdhb.txt#:~:text=In%207%25%20of%20all%20household%20burglaries%2C%20someone%20was%20home%20at,place%20each%20year%20on%20average.

Reading between the lines here we can also extrapolate some conclusions. The largest being if you ARE seriously injured during a burglary it almost certainly happened at the hands of someone you knew, and was likely intentional and targeted.

You are also a lot more likely to face these situations if you live in a poor area.

So if you are like most DCUM posters and live in some MC/UMC area and don't have some enemy the odds of you being violently injured in a home invasion are extremely rare. There are 332M people in the US so you have, with no weights for your personal situation, a .000007% chance of being the victim of a violent home invasion.

Additionally, there is a substantial cost to your child if they are witness to extreme violence, so if you shot a burglar and your child witnessed it that would not be a 'positive outcome' for your kid. So yes I believe that when faced with a home invasion the smartest thing to do is to, as quickly as possible, make it appear that there is no one home and to contact the authorities. And to be very aware of any relationships that you have in your family's life that could result in someone wanting to harm you.

This confrontation tactic is macho and not backed up in data. And again, in this specific situation the daughter in question has an excellent place to hide, far superior to a closet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but I’m not of the school that thinks a man should leave his family to the tender mercies of psychopaths while he runs outside to hide or make noise and pretend to be the police, who, by the way, are as likely as not to blast him when they see him in the bushes or jumping up and down in the street.

So you think that even though confronting burglars is far more likely to result in injury or death or trauma that the dad should do that because its more manly? I mean I think one parent goes out the window and one parent tries to get to the kid in a normal situation. In THIS situation, the kid has a door in a CLOSET that leads to an attic. The kid has an EXCELLENT protective safety plan. The parents are more likely to expose the kid by going to her.

If this is THAT big an issue what really should happen is some type of communication between rooms, IE, some alarm parents can trigger to alert the daughter that someone might be in the house. There is no safer place for the kid than to use her escape hatch into an attic that is only accessible through a bedroom closet. Unless the burglar knows the house intimately, they aren't going to find the kid before the police come. So in THIS situation, everyone is better off by alerting the kid via phone/intercom/something to get into the attic and parents jumping out the window together. The house appears empty, they can call the police.

Saying dad should go start throwing punches because its more manly is just incredibly stupid. Mom's plan, while instinctually I understand it, is very stupid and increases the likelihood for people to get hurt and for the kid to witness someone she loves get hurt or killed.

I never suggested punches.

This is what OP suggested:

I would try to distract the burglars, give them our valuables, and focus on staying calm and keeping my daughter out of danger. Should it ever get very bad, I would not hesitate to sacrifice myself in order to save my child.

That to me does not read like a thought out plan, it looks emotional and like it will increase the liklihood of someone getting hurt. I guess from your ominous tone you believe the manly thing is to shoot the people. I don't think any valuable is really worth a person's life and if my husband chose violence over smart choices just to look tough I would be really disappointed in him.

Sounds as if you've never encountered burglars like these. It's why we have a dog, although he could get shot, too.
https://www.wsbtv.com/news/local/south-fulton-county/3-men-on-trial-for-killing-woman-hiding-in-closet-during-home-invasion/455783527/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a burglar entered my home, my Malinois would "encourage" the burglar to leave.

+1 We have a lab mix who would need very little encouragement. I'd love to see your Malinois in action -- awesome, athletic, intelligent dogs!!

Was trying to say our lab mix would need very little encouragement from us to "encourage" the burglar(s) to leave.

Anonymous wrote:If a burglar entered my home, my Malinois would "encourage" the burglar to leave.

+1 We have a lab mix who would need very little encouragement. I'd love to see your Malinois in action -- awesome, athletic, intelligent dogs!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but I’m not of the school that thinks a man should leave his family to the tender mercies of psychopaths while he runs outside to hide or make noise and pretend to be the police, who, by the way, are as likely as not to blast him when they see him in the bushes or jumping up and down in the street.

So you think that even though confronting burglars is far more likely to result in injury or death or trauma that the dad should do that because its more manly? I mean I think one parent goes out the window and one parent tries to get to the kid in a normal situation. In THIS situation, the kid has a door in a CLOSET that leads to an attic. The kid has an EXCELLENT protective safety plan. The parents are more likely to expose the kid by going to her.

If this is THAT big an issue what really should happen is some type of communication between rooms, IE, some alarm parents can trigger to alert the daughter that someone might be in the house. There is no safer place for the kid than to use her escape hatch into an attic that is only accessible through a bedroom closet. Unless the burglar knows the house intimately, they aren't going to find the kid before the police come. So in THIS situation, everyone is better off by alerting the kid via phone/intercom/something to get into the attic and parents jumping out the window together. The house appears empty, they can call the police.

Saying dad should go start throwing punches because its more manly is just incredibly stupid. Mom's plan, while instinctually I understand it, is very stupid and increases the likelihood for people to get hurt and for the kid to witness someone she loves get hurt or killed.

I never suggested punches.

This is what OP suggested:

I would try to distract the burglars, give them our valuables, and focus on staying calm and keeping my daughter out of danger. Should it ever get very bad, I would not hesitate to sacrifice myself in order to save my child.

That to me does not read like a thought out plan, it looks emotional and like it will increase the liklihood of someone getting hurt. I guess from your ominous tone you believe the manly thing is to shoot the people. I don't think any valuable is really worth a person's life and if my husband chose violence over smart choices just to look tough I would be really disappointed in him.