Anonymous wrote:Is it ok to play with your kids at the pool?

No

It’s a dc thing. Parents are total weirdos hrrr

Anonymous wrote:It’s the parents, people have no idea how to talk to strangers anymore. The kids learn this weird solitary ecosystem from their parents, where adults can’t talk to other adults and so just loudly over-communicate with their children in a bizarre human bubble. When you remove ritual and routine from culture (“but I hate small talk!”) you get anxious parents like these.

I do think there is something to this.

I have a super social only child, and she often meets kids at the playground and plays with them. We have encouraged her to learn how to approach kids and ask if they want to play, and then suggest games, and she’s gotten good at it.

IME other parents are usually not playing with their kids so that’s not the issue. But often the other parents are so unfriendly! They’ll go over to interact with their kids and act like my kid isn’t there, like not acknowledge her at all. This is super weird to me— if I approach a group of kids I will at least say hi to the others even if I just need to tell my kid something.

I used to think these playground friends might become IRL friends but now I know that’s unlikely. Most parents have zero interest in chatting with other parents at the playground, and definitely aren’t going to exchange info to get together another time. I think it’s odd but oh well, we have other friends.

Anonymous wrote:It’s the parents, people have no idea how to talk to strangers anymore. The kids learn this weird solitary ecosystem from their parents, where adults can’t talk to other adults and so just loudly over-communicate with their children in a bizarre human bubble. When you remove ritual and routine from culture (“but I hate small talk!”) you get anxious parents like these.

Super weird projection. If you see me helping my kid reach the monkey bars, or pushing him on the swings, it’s not because I’m not able to converse with strangers.

Anonymous wrote:It’s the parents, people have no idea how to talk to strangers anymore. The kids learn this weird solitary ecosystem from their parents, where adults can’t talk to other adults and so just loudly over-communicate with their children in a bizarre human bubble. When you remove ritual and routine from culture (“but I hate small talk!”) you get anxious parents like these.

That makes total sense - it’s the millennial plague born of smart phones and self-obsession.

It’s the parents, people have no idea how to talk to strangers anymore. The kids learn this weird solitary ecosystem from their parents, where adults can’t talk to other adults and so just loudly over-communicate with their children in a bizarre human bubble. When you remove ritual and routine from culture (“but I hate small talk!”) you get anxious parents like these.

My 8 year old has never wanted to play with other kids at the playground. Maybe covid had something to do with it? I'm not sure but he never seeks out other kids at playgrounds. I usually play with him or he plays alone or we bring a friend. I don't view playgrounds as the play group that you seem to.

I was born in 84... so an older millennial and I remember as a kid that my mom would play with us and in particular swim with us while all the other moms laid out in the sun. I remember on mom asking me "doesnt you mom like the sun" and I responded "no she likes playing with me more". So not sure if it is a total new thing.

Anonymous wrote:Weird thread. I am a younger gen Xer, but often played with my kid at the playground. It was fun. Also, he is an only so he tends to think of us as people to play with. That said, I would also encourage him to do things on his own and would not interfere if he were playing with other kids.

Agree this is a stupid thread / stupid argument to be having.

Life liberty and the pursuit of happiness y’all. We get to decide.

Anonymous wrote:When you see someone at the playground with their kids, you have no idea in what context that visit is happening.

Maybe that mom sitting on a bench zoning out on her phone has been taking care of her kids on her own for the last 3 days while trying to work because of a childcare fail, and she's just exhausted and needs her kids to self-entertain for an hour while she rests.

Maybe that dad who is climbing all over the equipment with his kids and making up games and getting really involved has been out of town for work for the last two weeks and is making extra effort to connect.

You don't know people's lives. Stop judging every little parenting choice you see in public. Unless a kid is in danger, it's none of your business and you probably don't even have enough info to make an evaluation.

Exactly why I said I won’t judge people for this if you don’t judge me for playing with my kid. I’m working a lot of the time. When I’m at the playground, not working, I want to be actively engaged and it’s fun to be.

Is it ok to play with your kids at the pool?

Anonymous wrote:When you see someone at the playground with their kids, you have no idea in what context that visit is happening.

Maybe that mom sitting on a bench zoning out on her phone has been taking care of her kids on her own for the last 3 days while trying to work because of a childcare fail, and she's just exhausted and needs her kids to self-entertain for an hour while she rests.

Maybe that dad who is climbing all over the equipment with his kids and making up games and getting really involved has been out of town for work for the last two weeks and is making extra effort to connect.

You don't know people's lives. Stop judging every little parenting choice you see in public. Unless a kid is in danger, it's none of your business and you probably don't even have enough info to make an evaluation.

Agree 100%

The only parents I judge are the ones with kids doing mean things or saying offensive things and the parent doesn’t notice or care

Anonymous wrote:When you see someone at the playground with their kids, you have no idea in what context that visit is happening.

Maybe that mom sitting on a bench zoning out on her phone has been taking care of her kids on her own for the last 3 days while trying to work because of a childcare fail, and she's just exhausted and needs her kids to self-entertain for an hour while she rests.

Maybe that dad who is climbing all over the equipment with his kids and making up games and getting really involved has been out of town for work for the last two weeks and is making extra effort to connect.

You don't know people's lives. Stop judging every little parenting choice you see in public. Unless a kid is in danger, it's none of your business and you probably don't even have enough info to make an evaluation.

Yes! This!

When you see someone at the playground with their kids, you have no idea in what context that visit is happening.

Maybe that mom sitting on a bench zoning out on her phone has been taking care of her kids on her own for the last 3 days while trying to work because of a childcare fail, and she's just exhausted and needs her kids to self-entertain for an hour while she rests.

Maybe that dad who is climbing all over the equipment with his kids and making up games and getting really involved has been out of town for work for the last two weeks and is making extra effort to connect.

You don't know people's lives. Stop judging every little parenting choice you see in public. Unless a kid is in danger, it's none of your business and you probably don't even have enough info to make an evaluation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Base don her follow-up comment I think OP takes issue with a playground full of kids where the kids not playing together since they are playing with their caregivers instead, and I actually can understand that concern. Kids should learn how to play with each other. And another element that is going on here is that millennial parents have been pressured to give their kids lots of attention. I've heard a lot of people shame parents for *not* playing with their kids at the playground, which is messed up.

I tend to sit on a bench at the playground while my husband actually plays with the kids. But other kids often join in so that makes it really fun.

Yes and they do plenty of that in daycare, school, aftercare etc. When my kids hang out with their existing friends, they run around together and have a blast. They don't immediately warm up to new kids and sometimes want me to join their play. Don't see it being some huge detrimental thing.