Anonymous wrote:I only go out to drinks with males alone if they are gay or I have been friends with them for years before I met my spouse and they are like family.

I have a lot of male friends I have known and been close with for decades because I went to college in the area and stayed and even for my husband and my male bff who is like a brother, I wouldn’t get a drink alone with him. Likewise, I travel a fair amount with male coworkers I’ve known for a a decade and I’ve gotten drinks solo with one maybe once. It did have a weird date vibe even though we kept it professional and I know neither one of us are attracted and I wouldn’t do it again. I really can’t see why this ever would be necessary. I don’t know that I would adopt the Pence rule formally, but if you bothered about this, OP, your gut is telling you something. Wishing you the best.

In my limited experience, one on one drinks with male coworkers tend to get more personal than “just work” and too flirty for my taste. I am attractive and work with mostly youngish men though so I’m sure that’s impacted my view on the subject.

I only go out to drinks with males alone if they are gay or I have been friends with them for years before I met my spouse and they are like family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only people I have known who routinely hung out in an opposite-sex pair at work ended up banging, eventually.

Same. Every single time.

I agree. It starts innocently; then an emotional affair and then physical. I know someone who started an affair like this. It took 5 years but the friendship and bond grew over long lunches and after work drinks and eventually it happened.

5 years and your friend never put the brakes on anything. Some people just don’t have control of themselves or respect for their spouse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My job involves a lot of travel and a lot of cocktails and dinners, sometimes 1:1 and sometimes with a woman.

It has always been professional. I have a lot of strong business relationships with women and men, and have never considered banging any of them.

I am a very high performer with a high income.

The predominant attitude here that there’s something wrong with 1:1 mixed gender dinners or drinks is outrageous and toxic. Grow up.

No real question is how come no women ever made move on you? What does that say about you? Also, what does bold got to do with anything?

DP but similar - lots of travel, plenty of evenings in restaurants and bars with colleagues/peers with great socialization and no woman has ever made a move on me afaik. So what does it say about me? Either that I’m sending out “closed” vibes or I’m clueless or I’m unappealing, or some combination of these.

Yup

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My job involves a lot of travel and a lot of cocktails and dinners, sometimes 1:1 and sometimes with a woman.

It has always been professional. I have a lot of strong business relationships with women and men, and have never considered banging any of them.

I am a very high performer with a high income.

The predominant attitude here that there’s something wrong with 1:1 mixed gender dinners or drinks is outrageous and toxic. Grow up.

No real question is how come no women ever made move on you? What does that say about you? Also, what does bold got to do with anything?

DP but similar - lots of travel, plenty of evenings in restaurants and bars with colleagues/peers with great socialization and no woman has ever made a move on me afaik. So what does it say about me? Either that I’m sending out “closed” vibes or I’m clueless or I’m unappealing, or some combination of these.

Anonymous wrote:My job involves a lot of travel and a lot of cocktails and dinners, sometimes 1:1 and sometimes with a woman.

It has always been professional. I have a lot of strong business relationships with women and men, and have never considered banging any of them.

I am a very high performer with a high income.

The predominant attitude here that there’s something wrong with 1:1 mixed gender dinners or drinks is outrageous and toxic. Grow up.

+1.

You're just having drinks with a business associate. It's also quite normal to get a hotel room afterwards, as you dont want to let colleagues drive drunk after so many drinks. Too much pillow talk on this thread, this doesn't happen in the real world!

Anonymous wrote:My job involves a lot of travel and a lot of cocktails and dinners, sometimes 1:1 and sometimes with a woman.

It has always been professional. I have a lot of strong business relationships with women and men, and have never considered banging any of them.

I am a very high performer with a high income.

The predominant attitude here that there’s something wrong with 1:1 mixed gender dinners or drinks is outrageous and toxic. Grow up.

No real question is how come no women ever made move on you? What does that say about you? Also, what does bold got to do with anything?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My job involves a lot of travel and a lot of cocktails and dinners, sometimes 1:1 and sometimes with a woman.

It has always been professional. I have a lot of strong business relationships with women and men, and have never considered banging any of them.

I am a very high performer with a high income.

The predominant attitude here that there’s something wrong with 1:1 mixed gender dinners or drinks is outrageous and toxic. Grow up.

Awesome that it’s working out for you. There is plenty of evidence, though, that infidelity has an opening in those 1:1 situations. The PPs sound pretty grown up about this -part of being grown up is having a more realistic view on human behavior.

“Infidelity has an opening”??? This is 2023, I can have tinder on my phone. If “an opening” was the only thing between me and infidelity I think it would be a foregone conclusion, no?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I on a business trip at this moment and just got back to my room after dinner and drinks with the male coworker I am traveling with.

We sat next to each other on the flight, drove to our hotel, went to dinner and had two drinks at the bar. We have spent way more than two hrs alone, nothing happening there.

If he is attractive and you are a 5 or better give it time. Especially if you both have kids and all the grind that brings along. Out away from responsibilities, dinner, drinks………..

I don’t understand this. What could be less sexy than business travel? After a day on planes and meeting with clients, I just want to be alone in a dark cold room as long as possible before I have to get up and do it again.

Anonymous wrote:My job involves a lot of travel and a lot of cocktails and dinners, sometimes 1:1 and sometimes with a woman.

It has always been professional. I have a lot of strong business relationships with women and men, and have never considered banging any of them.

I am a very high performer with a high income.

The predominant attitude here that there’s something wrong with 1:1 mixed gender dinners or drinks is outrageous and toxic. Grow up.

Awesome that it’s working out for you. There is plenty of evidence, though, that infidelity has an opening in those 1:1 situations. The PPs sound pretty grown up about this -part of being grown up is having a more realistic view on human behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only people I have known who routinely hung out in an opposite-sex pair at work ended up banging, eventually.

Same. Every single time.

I agree. It starts innocently; then an emotional affair and then physical. I know someone who started an affair like this. It took 5 years but the friendship and bond grew over long lunches and after work drinks and eventually it happened.

My job involves a lot of travel and a lot of cocktails and dinners, sometimes 1:1 and sometimes with a woman.

It has always been professional. I have a lot of strong business relationships with women and men, and have never considered banging any of them.

I am a very high performer with a high income.

The predominant attitude here that there’s something wrong with 1:1 mixed gender dinners or drinks is outrageous and toxic. Grow up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Affairs start incrementally.

This is why Pence does not have drinks or dinner alone with one woman.

I was just about to say I am surprised at how many people follow the Pence rule here.

As they say “even a broken clock is right twice a day.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be jealous she could get him to talk for two hours.

LOL to this. My husband will talk to anyone about anything. I’d be thankful to have someone else talk to him sometimes.

Same haha. Maybe we should set ours up on a husband date with each other.