Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do not. But we have canceled three weekend trips so far this year due to illness, so what we are doing is clearly not working! Isolate away! But plead a prior commitment next time; as Miss Mannwrs would say, there’s no need to reveal that the prior commitment is staying home avoiding germs.

Why can’t we be honest? I don’t get why this is so offensive to the host?

Its because OP is not truly isolating, she is picking and choosing what she thinks is highest risk, and its offensive to this family that she thinks they are more germy than others. If she were isolating from everyone it would be OK to advertise that. But she said she's doing other things just not this party. And her friend sees her doing other things so knows that she's not actually serious about isolating, she is just anxious about her family. Which is hurtful. And also illogical. The friend might have decided just not to put up with her weird quirks also.

She’s not isolating and in that way the subject line is misleading. But come on. Attending a (presumably preschool age) kid’s indoor birthday party with a bunch of other little kids is going to put you and your family at higher risk of getting some illness, than going to the grocery store and the pool and stuff. I’ve always avoided the super germy indoor play places, large kids parties, etc. right before a big vacation. Even before Covid. Because there’s a lot more disruptive stuff than Covid out there! Who wants to have to miss part of your carefully planned for vacation because your kid got bronchitis and pinkeye from a 2 year old’s birthday party at Pump It Up?

We do it too shit

Same here, another avoider. It’s not worth it to me and we can still have fun doing other less germy activities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do not. But we have canceled three weekend trips so far this year due to illness, so what we are doing is clearly not working! Isolate away! But plead a prior commitment next time; as Miss Mannwrs would say, there’s no need to reveal that the prior commitment is staying home avoiding germs.

Why can’t we be honest? I don’t get why this is so offensive to the host?

It’s because OP is not truly isolating, she is picking and choosing what she thinks is highest risk, and it’s offensive to this family that she thinks they are more germy than others. If she were isolating from everyone it would be OK to advertise that. But she said she's doing other things just not this party. And her friend sees her doing other things so knows that she's not actually serious about isolating, she is just anxious about her family. Which is hurtful. And also illogical. The friend might have decided just not to put up with her weird quirks also.

You think attending a daycare based birthday party (not to mention the venue) has the same illness risk as riding bikes around the neighborhood or going swimming? I can do a search and immediately come up with at least 20 threads along the lines of “Larla is in daycare and we are always sick”

but anyway if I had a vacation coming up I’d avoid birthday parties no matter who’s in attendance.

I don’t do this for our annual vacation- driving to a NJ beach. If a kid spent the first 1-2 days of 7 watching movies or reading by the pool, it wouldn’t disrupt our plans too much.

However I would be careful 3-5 days before Disney or another expensive trip that would be ruined by a sick kid. I think declining a party 7 days before is a bit much.

I think it’s fine to isolate as much as possible before big trips. Last summer, multiple extended family members of mine got Covid before we took a big trip to Europe…if we had seen them, we would have been sick and missed our trip.

I also make the kids mask for a week before Christmas break because there’s soo many viruses floating around and we take big trips then too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do not. But we have canceled three weekend trips so far this year due to illness, so what we are doing is clearly not working! Isolate away! But plead a prior commitment next time; as Miss Mannwrs would say, there’s no need to reveal that the prior commitment is staying home avoiding germs.

Why can’t we be honest? I don’t get why this is so offensive to the host?

Its because OP is not truly isolating, she is picking and choosing what she thinks is highest risk, and its offensive to this family that she thinks they are more germy than others. If she were isolating from everyone it would be OK to advertise that. But she said she's doing other things just not this party. And her friend sees her doing other things so knows that she's not actually serious about isolating, she is just anxious about her family. Which is hurtful. And also illogical. The friend might have decided just not to put up with her weird quirks also.

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t matter what anyone here does or doesn’t do before a vacation. You do you.

The only thing you owe this “friend” is plenty of notice that your kid will not be attending the party. Drop off a small gift and be on your way. An adult who is refusing to talk to someone over this has questionable maturity.

Have a nice vacation.

This! I have skipped things at Scramble or a trampoline park before seeing my parents because my dad is in active cancer treatment. I don't tell people that's the reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do not. But we have canceled three weekend trips so far this year due to illness, so what we are doing is clearly not working! Isolate away! But plead a prior commitment next time; as Miss Mannwrs would say, there’s no need to reveal that the prior commitment is staying home avoiding germs.

Why can’t we be honest? I don’t get why this is so offensive to the host?

I mean I don’t get why it is so offensive that the host has stopped speaking to OP, either, but I have found in general that people have a bad reaction to the implication that they are germy so I try to avoid it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do not. But we have canceled three weekend trips so far this year due to illness, so what we are doing is clearly not working! Isolate away! But plead a prior commitment next time; as Miss Mannwrs would say, there’s no need to reveal that the prior commitment is staying home avoiding germs.

Why can’t we be honest? I don’t get why this is so offensive to the host?

Because DC is full of judgy moms.

Anonymous wrote:We do not. But we have canceled three weekend trips so far this year due to illness, so what we are doing is clearly not working! Isolate away! But plead a prior commitment next time; as Miss Mannwrs would say, there’s no need to reveal that the prior commitment is staying home avoiding germs.

Why can’t we be honest? I don’t get why this is so offensive to the host?

We do not. But we have canceled three weekend trips so far this year due to illness, so what we are doing is clearly not working! Isolate away! But plead a prior commitment next time; as Miss Mannwrs would say, there’s no need to reveal that the prior commitment is staying home avoiding germs.

I don't, but I did stop planning big vacations because I had a whole series of them ruined by illness for a couple of years. It was very disappointing so I just stopped planning trips until my kids were old enough to generally understand hand washing and germ control. Its still not fool proof. We are headed to the beach next week and my 7 year old is coughing and I am cringing. But I have learned that life moves on and you do the best you can. As someone else said, I work and don't have the time to isolate before taking time off so we just roll the dice and hope for the best.

If we’re traveling during the holidays, yes, I do limit our activities. But the middle of summer- not usually unless you know the kids will be sick.

Yes we do this