Anonymous
Post 06/02/2023 08:24     Subject: S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers
I'm sure it's been covered, but co-sleeping.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2023 08:22     Subject: S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers
Anonymous wrote:Are your kids all younger? I no longer have "triggers," now that my kids are older. I did when they were younger, but that was mostly me being insecure (which is not a judgement - that is totally normal) But now I genuinely believe we are all out here doing our best.


I have teens and agree I am less insecure now. However I don’t agree all parents are doing their best. Many parents of teens are at best really lazy and at worst doing actual harm with their super lenient policies.
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2023 22:02     Subject: S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Spanking.


+1. Spanking is not always abusive, but most DCUM people will automatically say all hitting is wrong.


I think spanking is always abusive. I believe you should parent your child as you wish them to behave in the world. Under what circumstances do you think it is appropriate for them to deal with a problem by hitting someone? Spanking advocates want to create this weird exception to the general rule that you should not hit other people where it's okay but only if you are an adult and the other person is a child 100% within your care and control. It's so weird. If you hit your kid, for any reason and under any circumstances, you are teaching them that hitting is an appropriate consequence for bad behavior.


I have a kid with special needs that includes not seeing hierarchy. It's problematic. You are pretending that hierarchy isn't real which is silly. And doesn't do your children any favors. They are not small adults, they are children.


So your logic is that because you have power over them, it's okay to hit them as punishment.

If they were small adults, they would not be below you in the hierarchy, and therefore even if they behaved the exact same way, you would not hit them because adults have more agency than children do.

So you believe it's okay to hit someone as long as they are below you in the hierarchy. What is the point of hitting them then? To punish a specific behavior, or to show them who's boss?
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2023 22:00     Subject: S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers
The extent to which parents should be told if you find out about teenagers doing the various stupid and dangerous things teenagers are wont to do.
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2023 21:58     Subject: S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers
How much redpill MRA toxic crap you'll tolerate from your son, and whether you're in denial about it.
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2023 21:41     Subject: Re:S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am pretty laid back and firmly believe every child and parent is different. I don't understand why people are so militant about certain things -- breastfeeding, daycare vs. SAHM (this extremism either way I REALLY don't understand, you do you!), etc.

The one I do get judgmental about is when people co-sleep with their kids waaaay past the newborn age (I know someone who STILL sleeps with their kindergartner every night) and are trapped in this cycle and won't change things even though they're miserable


Me too. And I know one older than kindergarten. I automatically think they are weird and would not allow my kid to have a sleepover at their house or have the kid to mine.


Hey, it’s not like I WANT my kid crawling into my bed every night. He just does.


I can relate. Sometimes my 5y/o will get in bed with us in the middle of the night and i sleep right through it and don’t notice it until morning. Doesn’t bother me though
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2023 20:27     Subject: S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers
Extending breastfeeding.

For teens: opposite sex sleepovers.
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2023 20:18     Subject: S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers
Therapy for any issue under the sun
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2023 20:10     Subject: S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers
How much you let your children beat on each other aka "resolve their own disagreements".

Denial of ADHD, ASD, and anxiety, and any other special needs.
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2023 20:06     Subject: S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Spanking.


+1. Spanking is not always abusive, but most DCUM people will automatically say all hitting is wrong.


It’s possible that all spanking isn’t abusive. But all parents who are abusing their child think they’re “spanking”.


All spanking is abusive. This is just nonsense.


I’m not sure you’re right. I would never spank a child but I can’t speak for all of the parents in the world.

I do believe, though, that within those parents who do “spank” there are those who are abusing their children but telling themselves otherwise.
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2023 19:58     Subject: Re:S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers
Anonymous wrote:Formula feeding, and especially, flat-out choosing not to bf at all


I had a friend who formula fed from birth because she felt breastfeeding would be "awkward" and bragged to me that she NEVER ONCE got up in the night to give the bottle to either of her children. "I'm on duty all day so night time is when he's on duty." She was a SAHM. Her kids strongly preferred her husband and I think she liked it that way because it was less work for her. Bizarre
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2023 19:51     Subject: Re:S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers
Allowances
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2023 19:50     Subject: Re:S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers
You give your toddler juice?!
You let your kid have a soda?!
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2023 19:47     Subject: Re:S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers
Age to stop using pacifiers (or to even use them at all)
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2023 19:47     Subject: Re:S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers
Formula feeding, and especially, flat-out choosing not to bf at all