If you’re trying to figure out why your family members are acting a certain way or why it affects you, you need to talk to a therapist who specializes in family dynamics. See someone on your own a few times and then ask the kids to come in (irl or virtually) for a family session to hash things out in a positive and productive way. These things are too hard to work out on your own because you can’t see the big picture when you’re deep in the mess.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The entitlement is astonishing. This is all about you and what you want, not what your children need or are asking for. And when they do ask for help with specific things, like the power washing, that's a problem too. I know my FIL will take on a task (asked or not) at our house and leave it worse than when he started (big hole in the wall hanging pictures, blew my son's bike tire trying to inflate it when it wasn't needed). So yeah, we say something.

God forbid he accidently put too much air the tire. What an a$$hole. A grandparent shouldn't be power washing your house or hanging pictures. Do you own dam housework. They don't "owe" you that.

When FIL does things that he isn't asked to do, and butchers them, that's a problem. Did you miss the part where PP says FIL will do things unasked around the house?

Gpa was likely just trying to earn his keep and make himself useful so they don’t take him Outback and shoot him. He made a mistake on the tire, offer grace instead of criticism. This is a perfect example of walking on eggshells around millennials. Sometimes I will wash my kids dishes at their apartment because they have been really busy and stressed and have no dishwasher. I guess that makes me an a$$home too for trying to do something nice but I wasn’t asked.

That can be very nice. But it can also be annoying if you make a show about how you have to wash every dish immediately after every meal because it's disgusting to leave dirty dishes in the sink (while your kids are chasing their toddlers, figuring dishes can wait until they're asleep), or not getting out of the way for them to do what they need to do in their kitchen (e.g. pack lunch for kids) until every single dish from the last meal is clean.

-love, a Millennial who's been there, and never leaves dirty dishes overnight, bit sometimes has other things to do Right This Minute besides make sure the sink is clear

OK, I will bite. I agree with previous posters that something is missing here.

My (late) MIL spoiled DH's youngest brother rotten - to the point where he became an entitled, lazy, spoiled young adult. They would pay his rent well into his 30s (plus other expenses) and overall enabled him as he lost multiple jobs and made horrible life choices. He never showed either of his parents respect, ever, always on the take, take, take. He didn't even bother to show up when she was lying in bed dying - "because he had plans with a friend". She reaped what she sowed.....an ungrateful, overgrown child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Zoomers harmed our planet and now this planet su cks. Thanks for leaving a horrible world with climate change for all millennial and next generations.

Your grandkids will blame zoomers too when they grow up. Why old greedy people didn't care about climate change?

I think you are very confused. Did you mean boomers?

Yes.

Anonymous wrote:Zoomers harmed our planet and now this planet su cks. Thanks for leaving a horrible world with climate change for all millennial and next generations.

Your grandkids will blame zoomers too when they grow up. Why old greedy people didn't care about climate change?

I meant BOOMERS. Boomers fked up our planet Earth

Anonymous wrote:Zoomers harmed our planet and now this planet su cks. Thanks for leaving a horrible world with climate change for all millennial and next generations.

Your grandkids will blame zoomers too when they grow up. Why old greedy people didn't care about climate change?

I think you are very confused. Did you mean boomers?

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like an entitlement problem. It’s hard to hear but you are not entitled to a relationship with your grandchildren. It’s a privilege not a right.

You can’t invite yourself. You have to let go of expectations that you will get as much time as you want. If you are being made to feel like you are a burden, then you are being a burden.

Back off, enjoy FaceTime and live your own life.

Well I hope you take your own advice when you don't get to see your grandchildren.

My mom and dad might write something similar about how mean and guarded their kids are, but oops! They forgot to mentioned that my two siblings and I—and our spouses—all keep airtight boundaries ***because they are alcoholics who cannot be trusted to drive sober or tell the truth.***

The real tell in this story is that all 3 kids keep you at a distance, OP. That tells me that it’s you, hi, you’re the problem, it’s you.

I hope I never have to hear how awful boomers and/or millennials are, ever, ever again. A generation isn't a monolithic blob.

If everyone would just listen to one another and practice basic kindness, that would be great.

Anonymous wrote:Good thing about millennial is that we can talk, speak up against our abusers, speak up against pedophile Priests, pedophile rich people, be free and choose whatever we feel are

I was waiting for this person to show up and now here you are. 🙄 OP are you a pedophile rich person or priest?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The entitlement is astonishing. This is all about you and what you want, not what your children need or are asking for. And when they do ask for help with specific things, like the power washing, that's a problem too. I know my FIL will take on a task (asked or not) at our house and leave it worse than when he started (big hole in the wall hanging pictures, blew my son's bike tire trying to inflate it when it wasn't needed). So yeah, we say something.

God forbid he accidently put too much air the tire. What an a$$hole. A grandparent shouldn't be power washing your house or hanging pictures. Do you own dam housework. They don't "owe" you that.

When FIL does things that he isn't asked to do, and butchers them, that's a problem. Did you miss the part where PP says FIL will do things unasked around the house?

Gpa was likely just trying to earn his keep and make himself useful so they don’t take him Outback and shoot him. He made a mistake on the tire, offer grace instead of criticism. This is a perfect example of walking on eggshells around millennials. Sometimes I will wash my kids dishes at their apartment because they have been really busy and stressed and have no dishwasher. I guess that makes me an a$$home too for trying to do something nice but I wasn’t asked.

Anonymous wrote:I would be disowned if I ever called my dad a moron. I don’t think anything could ever repair that transgression. I also cannot imagine asking my elderly parents to do chores when they visit(?) like shovel snow from my driveway, or mop my floors should they dare visit, lest they be freeloaders.

Boundary issues from both sides. Clearly we as readers are missing a significant part of the story.

This thread took a weird turn since I last checked. Kind of entertaining

Sometimes the truth hurts but is a must. Or they will keep doing cra p.

You have to tell them how it makes you feel when they ( moron action from elderly) do

If all three of them are like this the issue is you.

How did you raise them for them to be like this?

They sound as if they don't really like you.

Good thing about millennial is that we can talk, speak up against our abusers, speak up against pedophile Priests, pedophile rich people, be free and choose whatever we feel are

I would be disowned if I ever called my dad a moron. I don’t think anything could ever repair that transgression. I also cannot imagine asking my elderly parents to do chores when they visit(?) like shovel snow from my driveway, or mop my floors should they dare visit, lest they be freeloaders.

Boundary issues from both sides. Clearly we as readers are missing a significant part of the story.

This thread took a weird turn since I last checked. Kind of entertaining