Anonymous
05/18/2023 15:18
Subject: DH received a suspicious text from a woman
Anonymous wrote:DH and I have been married for one year, and dated for a year before marriage. He received a text message with a selfie from a woman late Friday night. I asked him about since I saw it pop up on his phone, and he said it was someone he dated right before we got together, and she occasionally reaches out via text and he never responds. He said she's "crazy". I looked her up on Instagram and it looks like she's a local single mom around our age and often posting pics of her posing in various outfits.
How would you handle? Would you let it go? I don't have his phone password, for what it's worth.
Classic move for a man to call an AP or an ex or F-buddy "crazy" - red flag right there.
Anonymous
05/18/2023 13:26
Subject: DH received a suspicious text from a woman
Anonymous wrote:People legitimately think it’s ok for a spouse to demand unfettered access to review contents of a phone? If that request were ever made of me, the marriage would have already concluded. To not trust, to have reason not to trust, or to feel that entitled are waaay over the line.
Oh yeah, and OP, your husband is either cheating on you, has cheated on you, or seriously intrigued.
If my husband asked to see my phone I would let him. I'd want to know why, and there are probably texts I'd rather he didn't see like me telling my best friend he's annoying me because of something, but I wouldn't divorce him because he asked to see my phone. I'd tell him he has to give me his while he has mine though!
Anonymous
05/18/2023 13:22
Subject: Re:DH received a suspicious text from a woman
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Tell your DH that he should block her if she is crazy. You want to ensure that your guidelines apply prospectively (i.e., he should block women from sending him texts unless they are mutual friends (they are texting you both), family, or texting him about work and work only.)
Glad my DW is not as controlling. She knows I have female friends (usually from before we met), and is fine that I text with them now and then. Heck, one of them is even godmother to our DS!
There’s a huge difference between being friends with women and having past hookups send you suggestive photos. I’m a woman and have lots of guy friends but I would NEVER send a going out photo to them!
DP but read the post to which PP responded. That post said:
he should block women from sending him texts unless they are mutual friends (they are texting you both), family, or texting him about work and work only
So that situation does not allow for friendly texts unless the wife is on the text or they are related or they work together. That's a bit much, IMO.
Anonymous
05/18/2023 13:21
Subject: Re:DH received a suspicious text from a woman
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Tell your DH that he should block her if she is crazy. You want to ensure that your guidelines apply prospectively (i.e., he should block women from sending him texts unless they are mutual friends (they are texting you both), family, or texting him about work and work only.)
Glad my DW is not as controlling. She knows I have female friends (usually from before we met), and is fine that I text with them now and then. Heck, one of them is even godmother to our DS!
+1
I'm a woman but I wouldn't forbid my husband from texting a female friend. I have texts between myself and male friends. He could read them if he wanted to, but I'm not going to go Mrs. Pence on him.