Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 16:40     Subject: Re:Husband’s Announcement
I do think it helps to move away from DC, not because it is so liberal, but you just feel so close to the capital that you can't help not being absorbed into the issues. I'd like to move to the most purple area of the country that doesn't actually give a crap about what is happening at the federal level other than trying to keep status quo.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 16:34     Subject: Re:Husband’s Announcement
OP can you give us the state or city? Would help a lot with figuring him out.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 16:32     Subject: Husband’s Announcement
Anonymous wrote:Assuming this is real, this could be a mid-life crisis. My dh went through one, it sucked big time. He seems mostly passed it, thank god, but it was a rough year.

If your dh feels you are in too liberal an area, as a compromise, maybe talk about moving the kids to a religious school, either catholic/parochial or other faith-based school. He may feel more comfortable with the community there. If you’re someplace like Arlington, maybe look at moving to a place like Burke. I think the volume of military people coming in and out keep the community more moderate than you’ll find in some other places in NoVA. Just some thoughts.


OP this is stupid your husband is stupid leave him

You want your kids around someone who is literally dumb?

At this point in time after FOX and Dominion case anyone who is still a Republican is no longer an American and they are stupid

This is not hard. Unless op you want your DD to be second class citizens martied off at 12 with AR 15s waiting in the wings with idiots who never learned civics or that the GOP will come for them too
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 16:26     Subject: Husband’s Announcement
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here- I don’t think he’s having an affair but I do agree with the midlife crisis idea. Yes, he wants to just up and move without a job there and without knowing anyone. This is all about him wanting to be in a red state rather than navigating his political views where we currently live. Yes, I can afford to maintain our lifestyle without his help, but it sure would be nice to have a partner in the future. I will research the divorce laws. What kind of man would just up and move and expect his wife and kids to follow? And logistically, he would expect me to do all the packing, sell the house, etc.


I'm calling troll.


He is conservative. Of course he expects a subservient and cooperative wife. He is most likely having a midlife crisis but may also be getting some of his ideas from conservative media and men’s rights type crap.


I'm a conservative. I don't have, or expect, a subservient wife. I have many conservative guy friends, and none of them has, or expects, a subservient wife.

Of course, you don't know any actual conservatives, you're simply lashing out against the stupid caricature of conservatives that you have been indoctrinated to believe in uncritically.


Not all conservatives expect a subservient wife, but those who expect subservient wives are all conservatives.

Find me a liberal man who expects a subservient wife.


This board is full of liberal families where the DH expects this because wife is SAH. It's rampant.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 16:23     Subject: Husband’s Announcement
Assuming this is real, this could be a mid-life crisis. My dh went through one, it sucked big time. He seems mostly passed it, thank god, but it was a rough year.

If your dh feels you are in too liberal an area, as a compromise, maybe talk about moving the kids to a religious school, either catholic/parochial or other faith-based school. He may feel more comfortable with the community there. If you’re someplace like Arlington, maybe look at moving to a place like Burke. I think the volume of military people coming in and out keep the community more moderate than you’ll find in some other places in NoVA. Just some thoughts.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 16:17     Subject: Husband’s Announcement
Anonymous wrote:OP here- he wants to move to a more conservative area because of the influence on our kids. We do not have jobs there- he wants to just move and then find jobs once we get there. Our professional experiences don’t easily translate to areas outside DC. I told him if he finds a job where he makes the combination of his and my current salary then I would go. But I’m not just leaving a life and job here without something specific to go to in hopes of finding something.


I havent read the responses but it's worth noting that if you move to that state and establish residence and THEN get divorced, that will be your residence -- so he 'd be entitled to keep the kids there. so you could be stuck in a state without an income, his or yours, and there until they are old enough to decide where they want to be unless you want to move away frmo them.

Double check me but:
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 15:41     Subject: Re:Husband’s Announcement
Anonymous wrote:I have a feeling OP is a troll since she hasn't been back to answer any of the questions.


I have this feeling as well. Most people would fine a job first, then move. This doesn't sound like a realistic scenario.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 15:40     Subject: Husband’s Announcement
He’s bluffing, in an attempt to reassert control over your marriage due to his likely depression. It’s terrible to say, but I agree this is likely the end of your marriage. I’d call his bluff, let him go, treat is as the start of your separation, and prepare for a divorce. Being unhappy midlife, recognizing the DMV as expensive, and being worried about influences on kids all have solutions 100x more reasonable than dropping anchor in Missouri and burning through savings while he makes a plan. If the only way he knows how to untangle the Gordion knot is by severing it, tell him here’s the scissors.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 15:29     Subject: Husband’s Announcement
Anonymous wrote:I have a female friend who is giving her husband the same ultimatum. There is no affair or any desire for divorce. She's just done. Whenever she complains at a school board meeting about anything people tell her "If you want things that way move to a red state. We do things this way here." So she figures she should go where her people are and frankly she's irritated that her husband isn't taking any initiative in this move and leaving it up to her. I'm sure your husband feels the same.


I’m sorry these partners are supposed to give up their lives to move to a state where their chicken will get a crap education women are treated like cattle and will not be able to leave the state

Hell even better now OPS DD can be married at what age 6 depending on the red state? Oh wow today a Repuke Congressman Mr Moon said 12 year olds are fair game

OP you jerk is in a cult or he’s moving you to a state to divorce you either way you lose so do your kids

Run don’t walk from his dumbass
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 15:20     Subject: Re:Husband’s Announcement
Anonymous wrote:Speaking as a conservative in this area, if the school influence is a concern, consider more rural and conservative counties of VA and Maryland. It doesn't help with your vote but they

Your husband might find that the state he wants to move to is getting purpler anyway, because people moving from e.g. California or PNW are still bringing their west coast ideas into, say, Texas.


DP, but I'm going to jump in here and say that they burden of being reasonable and compromising is on the husband here. Everyone else in the family is just living their lives and because he's decided he no longer likes the politics of his neighbors everyone has to pick up and move. I don't think a partner is obligated to compromise with something so clearly nuts..
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 15:15     Subject: Re:Husband’s Announcement
I have a feeling OP is a troll since she hasn't been back to answer any of the questions.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 15:11     Subject: Husband’s Announcement
I have a female friend who is giving her husband the same ultimatum. There is no affair or any desire for divorce. She's just done. Whenever she complains at a school board meeting about anything people tell her "If you want things that way move to a red state. We do things this way here." So she figures she should go where her people are and frankly she's irritated that her husband isn't taking any initiative in this move and leaving it up to her. I'm sure your husband feels the same.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 15:01     Subject: Husband’s Announcement
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:New census migration data - fastest growing states are Texas, Florida, Georgia and North Carolina. This is not just OPs husband.

Is there a compromise for a blue city in a red state? RTP or maybe Atlanta suburbs? Even Huntsville is supposedly decent.


Huntsville is decent because of the University of Alabama but it's a pocket still very much in AL with all of the Alabama laws.


You know nothing about Huntsville.


Huntsville was just an example listed with RTP, Atlanta, and now others have mentioned Richmond, Asheville, Tampa or San Antonio.

It would be helpful if OP could give more description of the area. I think most people are going to gauge the reasonableness of the move on whether it’s rural Mississippi or a 250k blue city in an otherwise red city.


Meant in an otherwise red state.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 14:48     Subject: Husband’s Announcement
I think he is having a mid life crisis OP. No sane person would.move without a job.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 14:45     Subject: Husband’s Announcement
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:New census migration data - fastest growing states are Texas, Florida, Georgia and North Carolina. This is not just OPs husband.

Is there a compromise for a blue city in a red state? RTP or maybe Atlanta suburbs? Even Huntsville is supposedly decent.


Huntsville is decent because of the University of Alabama but it's a pocket still very much in AL with all of the Alabama laws.


You know nothing about Huntsville.


Huntsville was just an example listed with RTP, Atlanta, and now others have mentioned Richmond, Asheville, Tampa or San Antonio.

It would be helpful if OP could give more description of the area. I think most people are going to gauge the reasonableness of the move on whether it’s rural Mississippi or a 250k blue city in an otherwise red city.