Anonymous wrote:When something like this happens to me, it helps me to think “I’m so glad that person isn’t my mother/father/partner/sister”. And then I have real empathy for the people that have to deal with them often and or the kids being raised by them.


Hope that helps. She was a jerk and someone will probably punch her one day if she keeps that up.

Good point. If this woman feels free to lecture a young child she doesn’t even know, she’s probably a PITA to everyone around her. At least OP can walk away, but ugh, imagine being related to this person.

I hope she finds this thread and realizes how unlikeable she is and the general consensus is she needs to keep her crap opinions that no one cares about to herself. I bet her own kids can’t stand her.

When something like this happens to me, it helps me to think “I’m so glad that person isn’t my mother/father/partner/sister”. And then I have real empathy for the people that have to deal with them often and or the kids being raised by them.


Hope that helps. She was a jerk and someone will probably punch her one day if she keeps that up.

As the parent of a kid with a life threatening medical condition, I have learned that parents with “healthy” kids truly cannot understand our journey. They may, for whatever reason, smugly think they have parenting and life figured out and cast judgment from their throne, but the truth of the matter is that they have no idea of the struggles and care routines we face and our children have to face. At the beginning, I felt obligated to justify or explain things, in hindsight seeking understanding or support, but this has lessened as we’ve been at this longer. I let my DD share information she wants shared (of course with the exception of sharing information to protect her safety) and have also had to endure the pain that comes from absolute cluelessness from others who can’t fathom life with a sick kid.

You are doing an amazing job and are your daughter’s biggest ally in this. I don’t always respond in the moment in the way that is wish I had, but rest assured my daughter is well aware that I have her back through it all. I’m really sorry that you had this experience—some people just stink (and lack the insight to understand that their behaviors aren’t helpful or even kind). That said, through our journey, I’ve also learned who we can trust and have seen the incredible kindness of friends and strangers. I emphasize these experiences with my daughter and try to move beyond the prior without too much rumination.

Anonymous wrote:The difference of “it takes a village” 40 years ago vs. now is that 40+ years ago, cranky old Mrs. Crabapple down the street would have complained about your kid being on their Atari or watching TV, but she ALSO would have brought over fresh tomatoes and zucchini from her garden. She would have complained at mom/dad for both having full time jobs but she also would have come over to watch the kids for an hour or two in a pinch. It’s not just criticism, it’s also help.

I think the difference is you knew Mrs. crabapple and were choosing to include her in your village. It wasn’t some stranger busybody taking it upon themselves to lecture you or your kid on whatever child rearing philosophy they happen to hold.

The difference of “it takes a village” 40 years ago vs. now is that 40+ years ago, cranky old Mrs. Crabapple down the street would have complained about your kid being on their Atari or watching TV, but she ALSO would have brought over fresh tomatoes and zucchini from her garden. She would have complained at mom/dad for both having full time jobs but she also would have come over to watch the kids for an hour or two in a pinch. It’s not just criticism, it’s also help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My response would be we don’t have any screen limits. To each their own .

You’re right. It doesn’t matter why my DD had her phone. It’s not this lady’s business regardless.

I think I was so quick to defend because I always feel like I’m a member of the Bad Moms Club. Having a chronically ill child has done a number on my confidence.

Dude, you’re helping your FOUR year old learn to manage her own health. There are upper elementary kids who can’t do that. You’re doing great. Truly.

-mom of a T1D

*seven year old. I mixed up my threads. But still, that’s 1st grade if she’s 7 in April? Second grade at the oldest? You’re doing great.

Anonymous wrote:Cell phones and social are a toxic plague destroying a generation.

OP: sorry your child is the most rare exception ever, and she did not do anything wrong of course.

But the bigger crisis is not the one-off experience she encountered.

Miiiiind yoooour ooooown buuuuuusineeeesssss.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, that woman is a miserable person.

Your response was fine. Someone like that is not likely to be embarrassed or back down even when faced with cold, hard evidence that they've just acted like an idiot. But, if you wanted to, it would have also been fine to tell her off.

Be honest with your daughter. Tell her that some people are miserable, unkind, and not very bright. Also, let her know that sometimes older people get confused. It is fine to tell your daughter these things loudly and within earshot of whoever makes comments to her.

All of these fierce warriors!

This is neither what you would do IRL nor what you should do.

OP's response was fine. She'll be better prepared if anything like it happens again.

Hi, PP mom of a T1D from upthread (as well as a kid with SN) and I most assuredly have, calmly and without swearing, but loudly, to embarrass them to people around us, corrected rude people who thought they were entitled to judge my child. You may be a doormat, but some of us are not.

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's already GREAT that you responded, and the absence of answer shows you that you gave this person something to think about.

If you want, you can prepare a fuller sentence ready to go, but what you said was sufficient already. You were never going to get an apology from that sort of person. They will just be shamed into silence, that's all.

I've had similar interactions with my child with different special needs. Anyone who does not fit in will frequently face incomprehension and criticism and has to develop a thick skin as a result.

All of this. Talk with your DD about what she could say if this happens again. "I'm checking my blood sugar. Would you mind giving me privacy?" or the like.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is nuts. The woman was right, kids shouldn't be on phones. As part of your job of teaching your 7 year old to manage her D, you and she need to learn how to advocate: "I'm checking my blood because I have T1, diabetes."

Getting upset or aggressive in response to ignorant questions isn't good advocacy. It takes a village - that includes strangers at playgrounds and includes you.

Whether she was right or not about kids being on phones, it was none of her damned business. It was not her child so she didn't have any right to say anything to that child about it.

98% of 7 year olds on their phones at playgrounds are not diabetic or deaf. They should get off their phones. Their parents aren't going to tell them, so it's up to kind strangers to do it.

“Kind strangers?” ROFL. Oh, I hope you get put in your place someday, you nasty, rude person.

Anonymous wrote:This thread is nuts. The woman was right, kids shouldn't be on phones. As part of your job of teaching your 7 year old to manage her D, you and she need to learn how to advocate: "I'm checking my blood because I have T1, diabetes."

Getting upset or aggressive in response to ignorant questions isn't good advocacy. It takes a village - that includes strangers at playgrounds and includes you.

Oh, screw off. The nasty old busybody has NO BUSINESS running her yap at other people’s kids.

Anonymous wrote:Cell phones and social are a toxic plague destroying a generation.

OP: sorry your child is the most rare exception ever, and she did not do anything wrong of course.

But the bigger crisis is not the one-off experience she encountered.

Literally I've never met a non-T1D 7 year old with a smart phone. Never.

Anonymous wrote:You should have told the woman what the phone was for. I agree it’s none of her business but it would have put her in her place. And the reality is, too many kids are sitting on phones when they should be outside, it’s a fact in our society. I have 2 friends with 8 year olds on the sane situation as your kid so I get it.

Neat. Nobody cares about your opinion. Raise your kids how you choose and keep your trap shut.

Another parent of a type I diabetic - he's a teenager now and discretely manages his disease so I haven't heard comments like this in years (in other words, it gets better!)

The amount of ignorant, bullsh&t things I've heard is staggering. I always strongly put the person in their place. I make sure they understand that whatever BS point they were trying to make just embarrases themselves and please don't ever say stuff like that to anyone else. I do it without being a b&tch and confidence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My response would be we don’t have any screen limits. To each their own .

You’re right. It doesn’t matter why my DD had her phone. It’s not this lady’s business regardless.

I think I was so quick to defend because I always feel like I’m a member of the Bad Moms Club. Having a chronically ill child has done a number on my confidence.

Dude, you’re helping your FOUR year old learn to manage her own health. There are upper elementary kids who can’t do that. You’re doing great. Truly.

-mom of a T1D