Hopefully spouses will be evolved enough by then so that girls pretty much expect to be short-shrifted on the career front.

I would recommend that your daughter go to the best college that she can get into, enter a career (not just a job!) that she is good at and enjoys, and gain as much seniority in her field as she can before having a child. This will give her the best of both worlds--maybe not at the same time, but with the maximum amount of options.

Just as much as she is planning to SAH with kids, she should also prepare for the possibility of being single, not wanting kids, being infertile, or getting divorced.

Lawyer

I think it's great that your daughters are thinking about this before they are in the situation where they have a baby and find that they really want to stay home for awhile with the child but their previous choices don't allow it.

This includes choice of career but it also includes how much money they have saved up, how they are budgeting their money, how their partner/spouse feels about it, lots to consider long before the child is on the way so they can choose to stay at home if that's what they really want.

Too many parents eliminate staying at home as an option by their very limiting choices and then really regret it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your career doesn’t matter. It’s your DH.

Watch out your hetero normative is showing! Lesbians can marry, have kids and a career.

Also what if your dh dies or you get divorced? Good idea to be able to support oneself

Okay DH should be breadwinner spouse.

Died? Life insurance. Divorced? Alimony.

The ability to quit the workforce is really more about who is paying the bills rather than what happens after.

You can always retrain and enter these re-entry friendly careers like nursing and teaching — by that very property there is no reason to originate your career in those fields. Just pivot after SAH.

Please understand that nowadays alimony is rare and often temporary unless your marriage is 20 or more years. Not working now is a huge financial risk because most women will not get alimony.

Don't you love how glib PP is about things she knows so little about. "Divorce:alimony!" "Dead:life insurance!"

She lives in her own little fantasy land. Plus is allergic to work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your career doesn’t matter. It’s your DH.

Watch out your hetero normative is showing! Lesbians can marry, have kids and a career.

Also what if your dh dies or you get divorced? Good idea to be able to support oneself

Okay DH should be breadwinner spouse.

Died? Life insurance. Divorced? Alimony.

The ability to quit the workforce is really more about who is paying the bills rather than what happens after.

You can always retrain and enter these re-entry friendly careers like nursing and teaching — by that very property there is no reason to originate your career in those fields. Just pivot after SAH.

Please understand that nowadays alimony is rare and often temporary unless your marriage is 20 or more years. Not working now is a huge financial risk because most women will not get alimony.

Anonymous wrote:Proposal writing / management or any writing/editing jobs. Also very doable to do remotely and even part time.

I’m an editor and I strongly disagree. It’s very competitive, and if you have a higher up job, it is extremely difficult to get back in at the level you left. I took an 18 month break and it took me a year to find a job and I had to take a 20% pay cut to get back in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teaching is a great job for moms.

No, it isn’t. I bring home 2-4 hours of work every night and I have to work every weekend. I miss all of my own kids’ school events. I can see my kids during the summer, but I don’t think that makes up for missing them 10 months of every year.

Sending you lots of thanks and respect. I've seen how hard the teachers my kids have had over the years work.

I could see how a teacher could transition into certain part-time roles, substituting, or tutoring during the years of raising children, but there'd be a net loss in tenure, healthcare, pension, and other benefits during that time.

Anonymous wrote:Teaching is a great job for moms.

No, it isn’t. I bring home 2-4 hours of work every night and I have to work every weekend. I miss all of my own kids’ school events. I can see my kids during the summer, but I don’t think that makes up for missing them 10 months of every year.

Anonymous wrote:Oh ladies ladies ladies. This fantasy is dead. Marriage rate is way down, birth rate is way down. Just look at the common data set for EVERY SINGLE COLLEGE and the male enrollment rate vs the female is sharply lower. You think with the choices these educated men have these days, in todays world they are going to pick up a woman who wants to be financially supported? You will be lucky to settle down with an educated man period. This entire thread is a ghost from the past.

You can’t run around demanding an erasure of gender roles and then expect to be a kept woman. Times have changed.

Being a sahp for some portion of your kids’ childhoods is not being a kept womanand is the best option for some (clearly not for all) people/couples. You sound like an incel.

Teaching is a great job for moms.

Anonymous wrote:Above PP here. Another option I just thought about is working at a University, doing just about any role outside of Academia. Admissions, Administrative, Professional Staff, Fundraising/Alumni Giving, etc. Universities are about on par with government jobs in terms of stability and flexibility with your life choices.

These jobs are known to be underpaid and overworked plus often not super flex. But they can be rewarding!

Above PP here. Another option I just thought about is working at a University, doing just about any role outside of Academia. Admissions, Administrative, Professional Staff, Fundraising/Alumni Giving, etc. Universities are about on par with government jobs in terms of stability and flexibility with your life choices.

Anonymous wrote:I have two teen DD’s. Both have expressed a hope that they can SAH or go part time when their children are young. Yea they know it’s not guaranteed, etc. But there are definitely some careers that seem more conducive to this than others. What are careers that provide independence/financial stability but also flexibility for the early kid years? Nursing is one that came to mind.

Your kids could do this with just about any government job (ie fed, state, city, county, local govts). This may also work in the Banking field.

HR also seems to be a field where I've seen women hop in and out as needed, and seems easier to transition into from other fields (at least based on what I've witnessed among my peer group).

One more option that is viable is Corporate Training and Learning. It's not talked about much on this board but I have seen people from all ages and all kinds of backgrounds go into successful and well-paying Corporate Training roles. That field offers a large variety of options in the F500 organizations. You have people in the field doing training, you have people at the headquarters doing trainings, you have people creating training curriculums and learning technology for the org, etc. Lots of opportunities in this field and easy to catch up and recover on any missing experience or resume gaps.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two teen DD’s. Both have expressed a hope that they can SAH or go part time when their children are young. Yea they know it’s not guaranteed, etc. But there are definitely some careers that seem more conducive to this than others. What are careers that provide independence/financial stability but also flexibility for the early kid years? Nursing is one that came to mind.

Typical woman jobs. Nursing and teaching.

However as a woman with a career that provides much more financial stability than those stereotypical jobs, I have a career in IT (which is absolutely not for people who want to take long breaks) I’m able to work from home and have an incredibly flexible schedule. I would hate being shackled to a building as many of these mom careers go. Bonus is I’ve been able to secure both my kids with incredible summer internships in Bo th high school and college at various technology companies, giving them a huge leg up. Privilege is a thing and I’m going to leverage it as much for my kids as possible. I think it’s pretty cool that my boys are following in my foot steps and not their father who is an attorney. They probably see my job as wayyy more flexible and better COL than their dad who is always in court or visiting clients/colleagues.

Nursing is an extremely stable job financially. I am an RN. I can find a job anywhere in the country. I am always in demand. If I leave a job, I will have another job within 4 weeks. I am typically offered sign on bonuses up to $20,000 for a floor job at a new healthcare company. Full time is 36 hours (3 X 12 hour shift) per week, and pays around $80000 a year. If I want to work 48 hours per week (4 X 12 hour shift), I make low six figures. If I chose to go to nurse practitioner school and get my NP license, I would make ($150,000 - $250,000). If I chose to be a travel nurse, I would make $150,000 - $200,000.

Both DH and I are RNs. Our household income was over $300,000 last year, with great benefits and lots of time off. It's hard work and not for everyone, but the flexibility and pay can't be beat.

I'm another IT person and I make your ceiling in 40 hours a week from home. IT is a very good mom job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two teen DD’s. Both have expressed a hope that they can SAH or go part time when their children are young. Yea they know it’s not guaranteed, etc. But there are definitely some careers that seem more conducive to this than others. What are careers that provide independence/financial stability but also flexibility for the early kid years? Nursing is one that came to mind.

Typical woman jobs. Nursing and teaching.

However as a woman with a career that provides much more financial stability than those stereotypical jobs, I have a career in IT (which is absolutely not for people who want to take long breaks) I’m able to work from home and have an incredibly flexible schedule. I would hate being shackled to a building as many of these mom careers go. Bonus is I’ve been able to secure both my kids with incredible summer internships in both high school and college at various technology companies, giving them a huge leg up. Privilege is a thing and I’m going to leverage it as much for my kids as possible. I think it’s pretty cool that my boys are following in my foot steps and not their father who is an attorney. They probably see my job as wayyy more flexible and better COL than their dad who is always in court or visiting clients/colleagues.

As a SAHM, I have been able to help my kids secure incredible summer STEM research internships with many prestigious DMV organizations for HS and college - from medical to IT focused careers. Its called being an average clued in and educated parent in DMV.

There is not one public school student in my social circle that has not interned or volunteered for resume and skill building during summer or the school year starting from MS.

I call BS. If your kids have anything, your husband probably got it for them. The one who works.