Anonymous
03/10/2023 14:20
Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
Anonymous wrote:OP I am coming late to this, having only just seen it in Jeff's summary of most posted threads from yesterday.
We made this move recently from Maryland with a 15yr old and 16 yr old who have started a new school in CA this January.
They had also made this move previously around ages 7 & 8. It was much more traumatic for them back then than this time round.
This move took about 2-3 wks to get settled in public school, adjusting courses (not all the courses they had been taking were available etc) and meeting new people. My DS keeps in touch with his friends via video games and my DD keeps in touch with some of her friends via instagram / FT and messaging.
Unless your child has severe disabilities or learning issues that make him highly resitent to change, he will be fine. There are issues you can pre-empt and get ahead of, then there are things you just have to deal with in the moment which you couldn't have expected without a crystal ball. But its all entirely doable.
I think if this job is the one you've wanted forever then that is going to have a ripple effect on your family. Your kid doesn't need to be near their heart-surgeon or their therapist? Then go.
Horrible advice.
Anonymous
03/10/2023 14:18
Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
OP I am coming late to this, having only just seen it in Jeff's summary of most posted threads from yesterday.
We made this move recently from Maryland with a 15yr old and 16 yr old who have started a new school in CA this January.
They had also made this move previously around ages 7 & 8. It was much more traumatic for them back then than this time round.
This move took about 2-3 wks to get settled in public school, adjusting courses (not all the courses they had been taking were available etc) and meeting new people. My DS keeps in touch with his friends via video games and my DD keeps in touch with some of her friends via instagram / FT and messaging.
Unless your child has severe disabilities or learning issues that make him highly resitent to change, he will be fine. There are issues you can pre-empt and get ahead of, then there are things you just have to deal with in the moment which you couldn't have expected without a crystal ball. But its all entirely doable.
I think if this job is the one you've wanted forever then that is going to have a ripple effect on your family. Your kid doesn't need to be near their heart-surgeon or their therapist? Then go.
We made this move recently from Maryland with a 15yr old and 16 yr old who have started a new school in CA this January.
They had also made this move previously around ages 7 & 8. It was much more traumatic for them back then than this time round.
This move took about 2-3 wks to get settled in public school, adjusting courses (not all the courses they had been taking were available etc) and meeting new people. My DS keeps in touch with his friends via video games and my DD keeps in touch with some of her friends via instagram / FT and messaging.
Unless your child has severe disabilities or learning issues that make him highly resitent to change, he will be fine. There are issues you can pre-empt and get ahead of, then there are things you just have to deal with in the moment which you couldn't have expected without a crystal ball. But its all entirely doable.
I think if this job is the one you've wanted forever then that is going to have a ripple effect on your family. Your kid doesn't need to be near their heart-surgeon or their therapist? Then go.
Anonymous
03/10/2023 14:08
Subject: Re:Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
Anonymous wrote:I would move all 4 of our kids across the country for a dream job. We moved my junior year and it was great. Things don’t stay static in life and better they learn now to adapt to change!
The fact that you think it was “great” moving junior year tells me you are very social and positive. We have no indication from OP that her kid is a highly social one. This timing would be hard for most teens.
Anonymous
03/10/2023 14:07
Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
I have a 15 year old and no I would not do this. Little kids are resilient. Teens I think are actually more fragile and if you kid has only a small group of friends they are not likely to be one of the ones who is very outgoing and will thrive anywhere they are dropped.
Anonymous
03/10/2023 14:02
Subject: Re:Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
Anonymous wrote:I would move all 4 of our kids across the country for a dream job. We moved my junior year and it was great. Things don’t stay static in life and better they learn now to adapt to change!
Moving cross country is not the only answer to learning to “adapt to change.”
Anonymous
03/10/2023 13:55
Subject: Re:Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
I would move all 4 of our kids across the country for a dream job. We moved my junior year and it was great. Things don’t stay static in life and better they learn now to adapt to change!
Anonymous
03/10/2023 13:45
Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
I think it depends on the kid. We moved across the country when DS started middle school. He didn't want to move and that was hard for the first 5-6 months, then he found his groove and really learned a lot about himself and his adaptability/ resiliency.
When we had an opportunity to move again - this time 1000 miles away - going into his HS sophomore year, he was onboard, even though he had a good solid friend group etc.
He thrived as a sophomore at a new school, in a new city and through the rest of HS. He is now at college in another country and very happy.
When we had an opportunity to move again - this time 1000 miles away - going into his HS sophomore year, he was onboard, even though he had a good solid friend group etc.
He thrived as a sophomore at a new school, in a new city and through the rest of HS. He is now at college in another country and very happy.
Anonymous
03/10/2023 13:36
Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is OP a man or a woman? I didn’t see that.
Does it matter?
It shouldn’t but PPs were starting down the road of saying a man wouldn’t consider such concerns so why should OP - when OP hasn’t said either way.
Anonymous
03/10/2023 12:59
Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
I have a 15 y/o 9th grader, and I wouldn't. For me, when I weigh the pros and cons, these three years have a bigger impact on them than the next three years do on me.
Though a good friend of DD's will be moving at the end of the school year.
Though a good friend of DD's will be moving at the end of the school year.
Anonymous
03/10/2023 12:53
Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
I would not. My teen is very happy, settled and thriving and teen mental health is nothing to mess around with. We will be empty nesters at 50 and can do anything we want then.
Anonymous
03/10/2023 12:38
Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
It depends a lot on the kid. If I thought my kid was pretty outgoing and able to adapt to change, and if I thought he would enjoy the location (ie kid liked to surf and we'd be living near good surfing), then I would probably do it.
Anonymous
03/10/2023 12:26
Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
Been there. Done that. Overall okay but there were consequences of the move. Wouldn't do thrown back in timeline to make same decision again, unless losing job here and only good option of employment required moving.
That being said, its very much a game of circumstances. One kid may like it and gets easy to adapt environment. Other may not have it that easy. If you do it, be mindful of their mental health and give them time to settle before focusing on grades.
That being said, its very much a game of circumstances. One kid may like it and gets easy to adapt environment. Other may not have it that easy. If you do it, be mindful of their mental health and give them time to settle before focusing on grades.
Anonymous
03/10/2023 11:46
Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
Anonymous wrote:Is OP a man or a woman? I didn’t see that.
Does it matter?
Anonymous
03/10/2023 11:04
Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
I would never do this. I moved a lot as a kid and hated it. I can imagine my kids may one day feel differently, as they may look back on their childhood as boring - same house and friends from birth - 18.
Anonymous
03/10/2023 10:56
Subject: Re:Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
I would. We did it when our kids were 12 and 10 for 2 years, so not in hight school but they had to adapt to a change of country, language and school systems twice. Neither of them wanted to move to the us, and after 2 years they didn’t want to come back home. But now they both agree it was a great experience, I think experiencing diversity is very good for teenagers. And they have friends in two countries and socialize in two languages!