Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm this person at my job.

It's because my husband had a mental breakdown and is now somewhere on the alcohol use disorder spectrum and also has suicidal ideations and I'm terrified to leave our 4yo and 1yo in his care. I also can't leave another adult here for the kids and subject them to my husband's terrifying mental health issues. I don't feel it's appropriate to tell my job this and I don't know what else to do.

You need to file for FMLA while you figure things out. It'll protect your job while you take time (either intermittently or in a chunk) to take care of your family. Otherwise, if you get fired for performance issues, you're up shits creek at home, too.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I talked to the employee. It sounds like her DH does not help with the school drop off and pickup and afer school activities. That is not grounds for an accomodation. I am the parent of school aged kids and we pay for after care, arrange carpools, stagger our schedules for after school activities. I appreciated her honesty with me but this is not grounds for not presenting. Her children are also HS aged so she will need to figure out her job and home responsibilities. I guess in the pandemic, she got used to picking up kids after school, etc. We are in hybrid environment and she has the ability to flex hours so she had been doing this to pick up kids then working once home or taking leave. I don't know what to say. I was not expecting this at all!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may be afraid to fly.

Ha! She flies at least 2x a month to visit her family in another state. She loves to travel and goes on at least four international trips a year. She was really risk adverse about COVID, so I thought it could be related to that?

No, she is not risk averse or she wouldn’t travel for personal reasons either. She is work averse.

OP said work travel is to remote places with spotty internet — I bet she feels uncomfortable there for some reason. Is she POC?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I talked to the employee. It sounds like her DH does not help with the school drop off and pickup and afer school activities. That is not grounds for an accomodation. I am the parent of school aged kids and we pay for after care, arrange carpools, stagger our schedules for after school activities. I appreciated her honesty with me but this is not grounds for not presenting. Her children are also HS aged so she will need to figure out her job and home responsibilities. I guess in the pandemic, she got used to picking up kids after school, etc. We are in hybrid environment and she has the ability to flex hours so she had been doing this to pick up kids then working once home or taking leave. I don't know what to say. I was not expecting this at all!

Then she can make arrangements for carpools, etc to accommodate her kids’ schedules while she travels, ask for favors, like other people do (like me). My DH travels over 50% of his job so if I have a conflict I have to learn hard on my carpools and other relationships. It’s doable. She has to make the effort.

Maybe that is doable when you have two parents or a close friend willing to have inequitable sharing, but for the amount of travel OP requires and an AWOL DH, she will rarely be able to reciprocate in a meaningful way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is travel part of the position description? Or are you trying to send people off to stupid conferences to make yourself look important? In the zoom era, most travel isn’t necessary, and of it’s not part of the PD, you shouldn’t be trying to make her do it. Most agency HQ jobs don’t actually require travel - it’s a choice by the management level. You will lose what sounds like a smart employee this way.

We work with a lot of communities that don't have high speed internet (rural, indigenous). It's also culturally inappropriate with some of the commuities we work with to meet by Zoom unless needed. We try to minimize costs by using technolgy but honestly we have people who do not have access to high speed internet or other connectivity issues. In some of the cultures we work with, it is really important to meet face-to-face and visit the community. I hope that makes sense?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She probably knew her situation was not going to be a valid reason for you OP, and that's why she was avoiding the conversation.

Now that she has told you the truth, it's telling that you won't give her a pass for a few years while letting the rest of the staff (who you said wanted to travel / present) do that job function.

Now I see why she didn't want to tell you. Absolutely no sympathy. And if this is a federal joy, it's not like she's probably being paid enough to work this out with hired help.

If I was your employee, I would be looking for a new job ASAP that didn't require travel.

Exactly, she has a husband that is unwilling or unable to coordinate with the kids schedule. High school students often need transport to places, and to deprive them of activities and practice will literally affect their college acceptance. As a parent I don’t want my student bumming rides from other student drivers or taking a FIng Uber. That is really dangerous and expensive.

You don’t pay enough to hire a driver like many law parents do, so she is using the flexibility of her job to make it work.

I still don’t understand why you can’t have her present remotely — ship a satellite internet hot spot if these places are this remote. It’s probably cheaper than airfare and a hotel anyway.

You say she is one of the best employees — is presenting the only thing she does well, and now literally does nothing? Or she excels at other work and this facet has been neglected

Your pressure on her is causing her to look elsewhere Im sure, so you should come to terms for what you will lose when she is gone unless you backtrack with her.

PP here - this post has to be a joke for how absolutely insane it is.

What part is “insane”. Hiring in gov is impossible now, pay is lagging inflation so badly. If you have a good capable employee you don’t toss them for a temporary home situation (assuming these high school kids will graduate eventually).

You can own a starlink terminal for $300; ship it to these remote locations and she can present remotely perfectly fine. I just saved the agency $1000 between airfare, hotel, and car rental.

https://www.starlink.com/roam

If I’m misreading, and her ONLY a value was in presenting, then she does need to find a new job so let her — because after todays conversation she is. Dozens of agencies are hiring and have zero travel, lots of telework jobs so she will be fine. If she has other value to OP, her replacement will likely be some recent grad from a no name college willing to accept gov pay because it’s better than teaching.

Anonymous wrote:She probably knew her situation was not going to be a valid reason for you OP, and that's why she was avoiding the conversation.

Now that she has told you the truth, it's telling that you won't give her a pass for a few years while letting the rest of the staff (who you said wanted to travel / present) do that job function.

Now I see why she didn't want to tell you. Absolutely no sympathy. And if this is a federal joy, it's not like she's probably being paid enough to work this out with hired help.

If I was your employee, I would be looking for a new job ASAP that didn't require travel.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I talked to the employee. It sounds like her DH does not help with the school drop off and pickup and afer school activities. That is not grounds for an accomodation. I am the parent of school aged kids and we pay for after care, arrange carpools, stagger our schedules for after school activities. I appreciated her honesty with me but this is not grounds for not presenting. Her children are also HS aged so she will need to figure out her job and home responsibilities. I guess in the pandemic, she got used to picking up kids after school, etc. We are in hybrid environment and she has the ability to flex hours so she had been doing this to pick up kids then working once home or taking leave. I don't know what to say. I was not expecting this at all!

Anonymous wrote:When I was doing IVF, I had to go in for monitoring blood tests and ultrasounds three days a week dying every cycle. I rarely knew the dates that I would be doing a cycle more than a week or two ahead of time. For me, this went on for eight years. I ended up staying in a terrible job for years because the accommodated that schedule. I could never take a new job because I couldn’t expect them to let me take a couple hours off a couple times a week. Maybe that is what is going on. You really don’t have much control or warning about the schedule.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she doesn't have an ADA accommodation and won't give you an explanation, you're going to have to do a PIP. What else is there?

But he needs to balance what kind of replacement employee he will get. He will come out behind on this deal.

Nope.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she doesn't have an ADA accommodation and won't give you an explanation, you're going to have to do a PIP. What else is there?

But he needs to balance what kind of replacement employee he will get. He will come out behind on this deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My HR wants me to send her a memo about leave restriction for unscheduled leave. I think that is a little excessive. She has no performance issues and I see this as a conduct thing. However, she is placing me in a bad position as another team member has to present and many times, I have presented for her. Most people on my team enjoy traveling, so that is not as big a deal. What would you do?

I don't know how you could possibly think this isn't a performance issue. She's not doing her job, and others are forced to pock up the slack, including her supervisor. That's the definition of a performance issue. And if it's legit, there's no reason to not seek an accommodation - that's the whole point of an accommodation.

You should involve HR.

It seems hard to imagine someone saying an absence was “life or death” without it being a significant thing unless the employee is really wacky in which case you’d probably know that already. If she’s otherwise a levelheaded seeming person it dies sound like there’s something significant going on / the person mentioning IVF might be on to something.

Is she absent other times that don’t correspond with needing to present or travel? If not…that’s a little weird it it’s more than 2-3 times and only on those occasions. If she’s just been out a lot in general, could you limit her role on some of these things for a while - especially travel, since it sounds like others would be happy to do it, but it’s hard to sub someone in at the last moment.

OP here. I hate to comment on someone's mental health, but this employee can be a bit dramatic. Once she was upset that we were asked to provide pictures for Zoom conference. Yet she is very active on social media. She often balks about providing her bio for conferences and speaking sessions, yet she is constantly bragging about her past experiences in the private sector and high profile boss on the Hill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If her job is to present and represent the agency, then it is absolutely a performance issue. She is unreliable and creating more work for others, which reflects poorly on your team. You’ve been accommodating enough. I’d follow HR’s guidance.

+1 Her refusal to get RA set up makes zero sense.

It makes zero sense to me too. I keep referring her to our RA contact but she keeps declining my offer. My HR said she cannot be forced to get an RA. I can only offer it as a resource. So frustrating!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rule out:
Fear of flying
Fear of public speaking
Anxiety disorder
Other medical issue

If none of those, just put in a performance standard for the whole group - everyone must deliver X conferences per year. When she falls behind, doesn’t deliver you have a legit reason to fire her. But she may go on Leave first so be ready for that.

Are you a supervisor? You CANNOT just ask people if they have an anxiety disorder or a medical problem. OP offered reasonable accomodation process, employee turned it down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may be afraid to fly.

Ha! She flies at least 2x a month to visit her family in another state. She loves to travel and goes on at least four international trips a year. She was really risk adverse about COVID, so I thought it could be related to that?