Anonymous
Post 11/14/2024 07:59     Subject: Beach week house rules contract
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Question: my son and his group of friends are all couples that have been dating a long time (6 couples with 2-4 yrs relationships for all). They want to get a beach house during "beach week" together as couples. My husband and I are both from NOVA and we both went to beach week 30 yrs ago (yikes! saying that hurts a little, lol!) These guys are wanting to go down separately (not the same week or even the same beach location) as the rest of their high school. I am really struggling with this. I know they all have sex anyway, but this feels like a bridge too far--sending them off on a couples retreat basically. All the other parents in the group seem to be fine with this and I am frankly left scratching my head. I would be more apt to consider the co-ed situation if they were all just a platonic group of friends, but this is different. Looking for other parent input to determine if I am overreacting. (Please be gentle)


You're not overreacting. This would be a no for me. They're still in high school living under my roof, not in their 20s living independently on their own. I'm shocked that all the parents are fine with this.


Me too. The point of beach week is to have one last hurrah with friends, not a couples retreat during a different week. Maybe all the other parents are waiting for someone else to speak up?
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2024 22:56     Subject: Beach week house rules contract
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People under 25 are not allowed to rent a beach house that solves most issues


I think this is part of why most houses of people we know will have an adult in there. Smart parents don't want to rent in their name and let a bunch of 17 or 18 year olds stay without a single real adult.


There was a whole thing about this where sooooooo many people were getting caught lying and saying there would be an adult there, only for ring doorbells to show 0 adults.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2024 22:53     Subject: Beach week house rules contract
Anonymous wrote:I don't promote Beach Week. That's all I have to do. Nothing. And it doesn't happen.


+1

Don’t promote and don’t allow. You wanna party you can wait 3 or 4 months and rely on your savings/student loans to do so in a slightly more controlled environment.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2024 20:15     Subject: Beach week house rules contract
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I can’t. You let your kids go to beach week but want them to sign a contact you think they will obey?

What a laugh


All I can think of is Brett Kavanaugh's monthly desk calendar calendar with "Beach week!!!" and "I love beer" written all over it that came up during Dr. Ford's judicial hearing to discuss the sexual assault allegations against him!


Ha! Sounds like the prep guys I knew in the 90s.

Most importantly, was Squee at beach week and did they have “‘skis”.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2024 20:05     Subject: Beach week house rules contract
Anonymous wrote:Question: my son and his group of friends are all couples that have been dating a long time (6 couples with 2-4 yrs relationships for all). They want to get a beach house during "beach week" together as couples. My husband and I are both from NOVA and we both went to beach week 30 yrs ago (yikes! saying that hurts a little, lol!) These guys are wanting to go down separately (not the same week or even the same beach location) as the rest of their high school. I am really struggling with this. I know they all have sex anyway, but this feels like a bridge too far--sending them off on a couples retreat basically. All the other parents in the group seem to be fine with this and I am frankly left scratching my head. I would be more apt to consider the co-ed situation if they were all just a platonic group of friends, but this is different. Looking for other parent input to determine if I am overreacting. (Please be gentle)


You're not overreacting. This would be a no for me. They're still in high school living under my roof, not in their 20s living independently on their own. I'm shocked that all the parents are fine with this.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2024 14:14     Subject: Beach week house rules contract
So parents, do nothing and it doesn't happen. Beach Week doesn't happen without parents advancing the idea.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2024 09:20     Subject: Beach week house rules contract
Anonymous wrote:People under 25 are not allowed to rent a beach house that solves most issues


I think this is part of why most houses of people we know will have an adult in there. Smart parents don't want to rent in their name and let a bunch of 17 or 18 year olds stay without a single real adult.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2024 08:09     Subject: Beach week house rules contract
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I can’t. You let your kids go to beach week but want them to sign a contact you think they will obey?

What a laugh


All I can think of is Brett Kavanaugh's monthly desk calendar calendar with "Beach week!!!" and "I love beer" written all over it that came up during Dr. Ford's judicial hearing to discuss the sexual assault allegations against him!


Ha! Sounds like the prep guys I knew in the 90s.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2024 08:06     Subject: Beach week house rules contract
People under 25 are not allowed to rent a beach house that solves most issues
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2024 08:00     Subject: Re:Beach week house rules contract
Anonymous wrote:
I can’t. You let your kids go to beach week but want them to sign a contact you think they will obey?

What a laugh


Kids going to beach week will be leaving for college two months or less later. If you can't give your child some freedom, with limits, eight weeks before they leave for college then you did something wrong.


Yep, this.

Plus, I was extremely responsible at 18, even at 14 I would have made fantastic choices. My parents secret sauce? Neglect. I was left to figure everything out for myself. I told them how much I needed and for what. That's basically it. It caused other emotional problems, like I never felt loved etc etc. Making responsibile solid thought out choices has never been a problem I've had. I'm trying to give my kids the love I didn't have without eroding the trust and ability to make their own choices and live in those consequences - a middle ground.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2024 07:55     Subject: Beach week house rules contract
It’s a code of conduct thing, like for overnight school or sports activities.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2024 07:54     Subject: Re:Beach week house rules contract
Anonymous wrote:
Yes parents do this. They stay nearby and then swoop in to pretend they are staying in the house if the landlord is suspicious and starts asking questions or coming by.

It's insane to me that adults do this, but they do.


I am on my 4th kid and I have never heard of a parent renting a house and not staying in the house. Every house I have been familiar with - for my kids or others at their schools - has always had 2-3 chaperones at a time.


Based upon advice/experience of other parents, our group will be having 2-3 parents in the house the whole week. That seems pretty common. Everyone also suggests the contract, not only as a reminder to the teens, but also as protection for the adults in-site.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2024 20:16     Subject: Beach week house rules contract
Anonymous wrote:I can’t. You let your kids go to beach week but want them to sign a contact you think they will obey?

What a laugh


All I can think of is Brett Kavanaugh's monthly desk calendar calendar with "Beach week!!!" and "I love beer" written all over it that came up during Dr. Ford's judicial hearing to discuss the sexual assault allegations against him!
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2024 19:28     Subject: Beach week house rules contract
Anonymous wrote:Question: my son and his group of friends are all couples that have been dating a long time (6 couples with 2-4 yrs relationships for all). They want to get a beach house during "beach week" together as couples. My husband and I are both from NOVA and we both went to beach week 30 yrs ago (yikes! saying that hurts a little, lol!) These guys are wanting to go down separately (not the same week or even the same beach location) as the rest of their high school. I am really struggling with this. I know they all have sex anyway, but this feels like a bridge too far--sending them off on a couples retreat basically. All the other parents in the group seem to be fine with this and I am frankly left scratching my head. I would be more apt to consider the co-ed situation if they were all just a platonic group of friends, but this is different. Looking for other parent input to determine if I am overreacting. (Please be gentle)


Absolutely not. FWIW, my son went to Beach Week in 2023 and one of the dads went with the group (11 boys) as the lease required an adult. Before BW, all of the parents met and we set ground rules including no overnight guests, especially no girls. The boys agreed to this and we know the rules were followed because the dad was there.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2024 18:37     Subject: Beach week house rules contract
I don't promote Beach Week. That's all I have to do. Nothing. And it doesn't happen.