agree that it is devastating at any age, but for different reasons. When you are older, you then understand that one or both of your parents are very flawed and did not belong in that parental pedestal that you put them on. When you are young you feel abandoned and without a foundation.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I see a number of post where people say they are waiting a couple years for kids to get older before divorcing, but my understanding was the younger they are the less emotional disorders they end up having b/c of the divorce. Does any have good research papers etc that support older is better for divorce? Excluding your kids being 20+ adults when you divorce.
No age because divorce always affects children. I know someone whose parents divorced when he was 33 and he was devastated.
At 33 presumably he has lived through some life and understands divorce is sometimes the best of an array of crappy options.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I see a number of post where people say they are waiting a couple years for kids to get older before divorcing, but my understanding was the younger they are the less emotional disorders they end up having b/c of the divorce. Does any have good research papers etc that support older is better for divorce? Excluding your kids being 20+ adults when you divorce.
No age because divorce always affects children. I know someone whose parents divorced when he was 33 and he was devastated.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I see a number of post where people say they are waiting a couple years for kids to get older before divorcing, but my understanding was the younger they are the less emotional disorders they end up having b/c of the divorce. Does any have good research papers etc that support older is better for divorce? Excluding your kids being 20+ adults when you divorce.
No age because divorce always affects children. I know someone whose parents divorced when he was 33 and he was devastated.
Anonymous wrote:I see a number of post where people say they are waiting a couple years for kids to get older before divorcing, but my understanding was the younger they are the less emotional disorders they end up having b/c of the divorce. Does any have good research papers etc that support older is better for divorce? Excluding your kids being 20+ adults when you divorce.
Anonymous wrote:As a child of divorce (age 6) it absolutely destroyed me and I’ll never be the same. I will always feel broken. Let’s not fool ourselves that it is ever ok for kids. You will destroy them. You just have to know that and try to help them feel safe. By the it’ll never be an ok or good time to do it. Ever.
Anonymous wrote:I filed for divorce when DC was 17 months old and the separate living started at that time too. DC has zero memory of us being married. The divorced/separate homes status quo is all DC has ever known and it's normal to DC. Thank goodness.
I filed due to long-term narcissistic abuse (if you know, you know) and betrayal trauma (serial cheating). The birth of DC finally propelled me out of the fog of abuse. I did not want DC growing up watching me be abused in that way and living in a dysfunctional, unhealthy household. DC's other parent is still a narcissistic sociopath and there is nothing I can do about that, but our household is happy, loving, safe, and healthy.