Anonymous
11/30/2024 05:07
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
agree that it is devastating at any age, but for different reasons. When you are older, you then understand that one or both of your parents are very flawed and did not belong in that parental pedestal that you put them on. When you are young you feel abandoned and without a foundation.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I see a number of post where people say they are waiting a couple years for kids to get older before divorcing, but my understanding was the younger they are the less emotional disorders they end up having b/c of the divorce. Does any have good research papers etc that support older is better for divorce? Excluding your kids being 20+ adults when you divorce.
No age because divorce always affects children. I know someone whose parents divorced when he was 33 and he was devastated.
At 33 presumably he has lived through some life and understands divorce is sometimes the best of an array of crappy options.
Anonymous
11/29/2024 14:22
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I see a number of post where people say they are waiting a couple years for kids to get older before divorcing, but my understanding was the younger they are the less emotional disorders they end up having b/c of the divorce. Does any have good research papers etc that support older is better for divorce? Excluding your kids being 20+ adults when you divorce.
No age because divorce always affects children. I know someone whose parents divorced when he was 33 and he was devastated.
Had this person never had anything else devastating happen in his life? I mean that honestly because by the time I was 33 I’d had some truly horrible things happen in my life. I can’t imagine being devastated by a divorce at that point.
Anonymous
11/27/2024 11:17
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I see a number of post where people say they are waiting a couple years for kids to get older before divorcing, but my understanding was the younger they are the less emotional disorders they end up having b/c of the divorce. Does any have good research papers etc that support older is better for divorce? Excluding your kids being 20+ adults when you divorce.
No age because divorce always affects children. I know someone whose parents divorced when he was 33 and he was devastated.
At 33 presumably he has lived through some life and understands divorce is sometimes the best of an array of crappy options.
Anonymous
11/27/2024 10:59
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:I see a number of post where people say they are waiting a couple years for kids to get older before divorcing, but my understanding was the younger they are the less emotional disorders they end up having b/c of the divorce. Does any have good research papers etc that support older is better for divorce? Excluding your kids being 20+ adults when you divorce.
No age because divorce always affects children. I know someone whose parents divorced when he was 33 and he was devastated.
Anonymous
11/26/2024 21:03
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:As a child of divorce (age 6) it absolutely destroyed me and I’ll never be the same. I will always feel broken. Let’s not fool ourselves that it is ever ok for kids. You will destroy them. You just have to know that and try to help them feel safe. By the it’ll never be an ok or good time to do it. Ever.
You should get some therapy and allow yourself to heal. After age 30 you can't blame your parents any more.
Anonymous
11/18/2024 21:09
Subject: Re:Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:I filed for divorce when DC was 17 months old and the separate living started at that time too. DC has zero memory of us being married. The divorced/separate homes status quo is all DC has ever known and it's normal to DC. Thank goodness.
I filed due to long-term narcissistic abuse (if you know, you know) and betrayal trauma (serial cheating). The birth of DC finally propelled me out of the fog of abuse. I did not want DC growing up watching me be abused in that way and living in a dysfunctional, unhealthy household. DC's other parent is still a narcissistic sociopath and there is nothing I can do about that, but our household is happy, loving, safe, and healthy.
Does your ex have visitation?
Anonymous
11/18/2024 20:47
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Under 3 or over 25