Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 13:41     Subject: Re:How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My teenage neighbor committed suicide a few years ago, and having witnessed the unspeakable anguish that the parents have dealt with, and will have to carry with them for the rest of their lives, it breaks my heart that some would think it was their fault. This is so incredibly complex and intertwined with lots of factors. For people to just point fingers is not helpful.


Yes the finger pointing is shameful.

We need to try and understand what is going on and open up communication channels in honest ways that feel safe for our girls.

Blaming moms is nuts when it is connected to so much outside their control - pandemic, social media run in unregulated unscrupulous ways due to corporate greed, online misogyny and over sexualization of girls/ women resulting in more sexual assaults , and decline in real life safe spaces and social situations for girls/ young women.


There is no more pandemic and you are doing the blame game to shift responsibility from parents. You act like these are new issues and they aren’t. Get out of your bubble.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 13:40     Subject: How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You are the ones creating this environment for the kids.

You are the ones who create pressure to succeed academically, you are the ones who are too busy to drive them to meet up with friends, you are the ones who are creating rat race to the selective colleges.

All social media posts about beauty, expense clothing, designer houses are created by women. Men don’t post this crap.

So let’s take a hard look at ourselves.


TRUTH. Face it.



Yes to this, absolutely. And btw, throwing your ten year olds into your political viewpoints and shoving them down their throats instead of letting them grow into their own feelings about the world around them is ludicrous. I live in DC and I was shocked, severely shocked, by the number of angry elementary age girls both at the Women's March (you know which one I'm talking about) wearing pink pus.... hats and throwing their middle fingers up in anger in solidarity with older women. It was sickening, teaching them to be activists at this age, such a hard burden for them to live up to, and the anger on their little faces on the subway ride back to Bethesda, disheartening. I would never subject my daughter to something she was not emotionally ready for, I would not create that hate in her heart. I trust I can model a positive woman role for her without infusing her with my anger issues.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 13:39     Subject: How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You are the ones creating this environment for the kids.

You are the ones who create pressure to succeed academically, you are the ones who are too busy to drive them to meet up with friends, you are the ones who are creating rat race to the selective colleges.

All social media posts about beauty, expense clothing, designer houses are created by women. Men don’t post this crap.

So let’s take a hard look at ourselves.


This is simply not true. Get out of your bubble.



You're completely out of touch with reality if you believe this isn't true.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 13:34     Subject: How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?
Anonymous wrote:It terrifies me that we “never see it coming.” WTF can we do with that? How does that help us now? Should we be grilling our kids about their mental health? What do we do??


More resources for mental health nationwide are needed. The stigma, especially for adults in many professions, is unchanged. Lots of work needs to be done.

It is difficult and the hints, if any, may be really subtle. There are suicide prevention programs and classes that can be taken. I have. We all had lost people; friends, colleagues, relatives... and again, the common theme is, we did not see it coming. The course can open eyes about certain aspects a bit more. It teaches you the best way to talk to someone if you do catch a comment or get an "off" vibe. I recommend the Canadian program, google ASIST.

Be open as a parent to talk about this topic, especially if you have ever struggled yourself.


Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 13:00     Subject: How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Social media. It’s a different beast and it created a different dangerous trajectory heightened by pandemic during lockdown.


We never had a lock down. We were asked to stay home a few weeks and business were closed. You could still go out and do what you want. The pandemic has been over two years. Find something new to blame. Either you are part of the problem or solution.


Oh please.

Stop being so patronizing to other parents. Maybe your teen went to a private that stayed open but I know so many parents who were able to control social media usage prior to the pandemic but that all went out the window. Many of our children were in online school for up to two years and were no longer able to control it. It was the main form of social connection for so many youth that many of us allowed it. Plus many sports, School music and other activities were cancelled. Our church youth group did not meet for two years in person.

Even friends with children who were in college said it deeply affected them as well as so many normal social college activities were sharply restricted.

Plus many youth lost parents and grandparents to COVID.

It was an extremely traumatic time for many people and especially hard for youth.

The record mental health crisis stats speak for themselves .



Also, being part of the solution requires understanding and acknowledging how factors specific to teens' pandemic experience harmed mental health. One thing that is contributing to poor mental health in teens of both genders is denying that teens lost experience that are essential to their development and pretending that everything was suddenly just fine when pandemic restrictions were removed.


Stop blaming the pandemic. How did it hurt your kids! Few kids are still in being careful. My family still is. The pandemic isn’t the problem. People like you are who refuse to be part of the solution. Mental health issues have been around many many years. There is a huge genetic component as well as lifestyle.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 12:58     Subject: Re:How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My teenage neighbor committed suicide a few years ago, and having witnessed the unspeakable anguish that the parents have dealt with, and will have to carry with them for the rest of their lives, it breaks my heart that some would think it was their fault. This is so incredibly complex and intertwined with lots of factors. For people to just point fingers is not helpful.


Yes the finger pointing is shameful.

We need to try and understand what is going on and open up communication channels in honest ways that feel safe for our girls.

Blaming moms is nuts when it is connected to so much outside their control - pandemic, social media run in unregulated unscrupulous ways due to corporate greed, online misogyny and over sexualization of girls/ women resulting in more sexual assaults , and decline in real life safe spaces and social situations for girls/ young women.

Absentee parenting is not working for most children. Parents need to be the primary caregivers early on, not daycares and nannies.


I did all of the theoretical perfect mom stuff - stopped work to care for kids, volunteered in every class/ school, ran a girls scout troop, organized endless play dates, and social get togethers, organized nice birthday parties, volunteered with our DD - we were still Hammered by the Pandemic, reduced healthy social interactions during critical time in development and social media toxicity. Our DD is on better path now but it is requiring a lot of therapy, medical treatment, and finding healthier ways to manage emotions.

I agree with PPs that this crisis is way larger than any one person’s parenting style.

Finger pointing is not helpful and not accurate.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 12:51     Subject: How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It terrifies me that we “never see it coming.” WTF can we do with that? How does that help us now? Should we be grilling our kids about their mental health? What do we do??


Already been said on this thread, parents need to be spending tons more time with their if they really want to know what’s going on. “Grilling” will get you nowhere.

Someone needs to make children a priority. Right now screen time is filling the void.


*with their children
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 12:50     Subject: How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?
Anonymous wrote:It terrifies me that we “never see it coming.” WTF can we do with that? How does that help us now? Should we be grilling our kids about their mental health? What do we do??


Already been said on this thread, parents need to be spending tons more time with their if they really want to know what’s going on. “Grilling” will get you nowhere.

Someone needs to make children a priority. Right now screen time is filling the void.

Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 12:43     Subject: How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?
It terrifies me that we “never see it coming.” WTF can we do with that? How does that help us now? Should we be grilling our kids about their mental health? What do we do??
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 12:39     Subject: Re:How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My teenage neighbor committed suicide a few years ago, and having witnessed the unspeakable anguish that the parents have dealt with, and will have to carry with them for the rest of their lives, it breaks my heart that some would think it was their fault. This is so incredibly complex and intertwined with lots of factors. For people to just point fingers is not helpful.


Yes the finger pointing is shameful.

We need to try and understand what is going on and open up communication channels in honest ways that feel safe for our girls.

Blaming moms is nuts when it is connected to so much outside their control - pandemic, social media run in unregulated unscrupulous ways due to corporate greed, online misogyny and over sexualization of girls/ women resulting in more sexual assaults , and decline in real life safe spaces and social situations for girls/ young women.

Absentee parenting is not working for most children. Parents need to be the primary caregivers early on, not daycares and nannies.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 12:37     Subject: How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You are the ones creating this environment for the kids.

You are the ones who create pressure to succeed academically, you are the ones who are too busy to drive them to meet up with friends, you are the ones who are creating rat race to the selective colleges.

All social media posts about beauty, expense clothing, designer houses are created by women. Men don’t post this crap.

So let’s take a hard look at ourselves.


This is simply not true. Get out of your bubble.


100% agree - misogynistic misinformation and victim blaming at its finest. Probably sponsored by Andrew Tate devotees.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 12:36     Subject: How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You are the ones creating this environment for the kids.

You are the ones who create pressure to succeed academically, you are the ones who are too busy to drive them to meet up with friends, you are the ones who are creating rat race to the selective colleges.

All social media posts about beauty, expense clothing, designer houses are created by women. Men don’t post this crap.

So let’s take a hard look at ourselves.


This is simply not true. Get out of your bubble.

Then you prove her wrong.
You get out of your bubble.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 12:36     Subject: Re:How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?
Anonymous wrote:My teenage neighbor committed suicide a few years ago, and having witnessed the unspeakable anguish that the parents have dealt with, and will have to carry with them for the rest of their lives, it breaks my heart that some would think it was their fault. This is so incredibly complex and intertwined with lots of factors. For people to just point fingers is not helpful.


Yes the finger pointing is shameful.

We need to try and understand what is going on and open up communication channels in honest ways that feel safe for our girls.

Blaming moms is nuts when it is connected to so much outside their control - pandemic, social media run in unregulated unscrupulous ways due to corporate greed, online misogyny and over sexualization of girls/ women resulting in more sexual assaults , and decline in real life safe spaces and social situations for girls/ young women.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 12:34     Subject: How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?
Anonymous wrote:You are the ones creating this environment for the kids.

You are the ones who create pressure to succeed academically, you are the ones who are too busy to drive them to meet up with friends, you are the ones who are creating rat race to the selective colleges.

All social media posts about beauty, expense clothing, designer houses are created by women. Men don’t post this crap.

So let’s take a hard look at ourselves.


This is simply not true. Get out of your bubble.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 12:26     Subject: How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?
Anonymous wrote:You are the ones creating this environment for the kids.

You are the ones who create pressure to succeed academically, you are the ones who are too busy to drive them to meet up with friends, you are the ones who are creating rat race to the selective colleges.

All social media posts about beauty, expense clothing, designer houses are created by women. Men don’t post this crap.

So let’s take a hard look at ourselves.


TRUTH. Face it.